Gaijin's Gaming Gaea

Kirby's Epic (Yawn?) Review

2010-10-16T22:19:00.001-07:00

Every once in a while, a Nintendo franchise will attempt to reinvent itself and try to do something different. Sometimes (like in the case of Super Mario Galaxy), the change is for the better. Other times (like Yoshi's Story), the change is most definitely for the worse. Unfortunately, Kirby's Epic Yarn is closer to the latter.

Kirby's first outing on the Wii tosses away all gameplay mechanics that would be familiar to players of other Kirby games, and instead opts for something entirely new. This is because - like Star Fox Adventures: Dinosaur Planet on the GameCube - Kirby's Epic Yarn was originally designed as new IP, but had Nintendo franchise characters "tacked on" later in the development process. According to Iwata Asks, the game's original title was Fluff's Yarn, and starred the character Prince Fluff as opposed to Kirby. Fluff still has a large role in this game - both in the story and as the second player character in co-op mode.

It is difficult to discuss Kirby's Epic Yarn without discussing Yoshi's Story on the N64. Both games use similar patchwork graphics, a picture-book story motif, and contain similar surgical alterations to gameplay in order to promote simplicity (at the cost of possibly alienating long-time fans). In the case of Yoshi's Story, the power-ups, vehicles, most levels and bosses, and egg ricochet shenanigans from Yoshi's Island were removed. Kirby's Epic Yarn removes all of Kirby's flight, suction, and skill-stealing powers and replaces them with a yarn whip, 2-player co-op, and vehicle transformations. In other words, the game removes every gameplay convention associated with any game starring Kirby. The story sequences are done in picture-book style, and they are narrated by a guy who sounds like he's reading to a bunch of seven-year-olds. The game just feels "different", and not in the good way.

Oh, and you can't die. Ever.

Getting hit causes Kirby to lose a bunch of the "beads" he's collected throughout the level. In practice it's similar to getting hit in a Sonic The Hedgehog game and losing a bunch of rings - though Kirby STILL won't die if he is hit without any beads in his possession at all. In order to please the casual audience, Nintendo has managed to make the entire game feel like a "cheat mode". The bosses are very cool, but once I realized I couldn't die, it sapped all the fun out of fighting them. Sure, there are rewards for not getting hit and losing your "beads", but you most likely won't feel the need to seek them out. I can't help but feel like this game was designed exclusively for children. As a hardcore Nintendo fan, I just couldn't get into it - even with the "winks and nods" placed into the game for long-time fans of Kirby.

There are some good points, though. First and foremost, the game is gorgeous. The "world of yarn" springs to life, with different kinds of thread, patchwork, and cotton combining to frame Kirby's world in a way it has never been seen before. This is a technical marvel and one of the few games on Wii where jaggies are a complete non-issue (even on high definition TVs). The game relies heavily on use of 2D and only appears to use polygons when forming the yarn itself.

Also, although the gameplay is not going to be familiar to Kirby fans, that does not mean there isn't a variety of things to do. Quite often, Kirby will morph into different vehicles - a tank, a race car, a fire engine (controllable with Wii remote), even a UFO. These bits of gameplay were some of my favorites, as they show a lot of unrealized potential. One of the few things that kept me progressing through the game was to discover what kind of goofy vehicle transformation would happen in the next level. There are also some minigames and an "apartment customization" feature that allows placement of objects found in the levels into an empty space, but nothing too substantial. The game controls well-enough and does not require the use of the Nunchuck or Classic Controller. Waggle is very limited - which is a good thing. The co-op mode is also fun and does inject entertainment into some of the less exciting sections of the game.

Overall, Kirby's Epic Yarn isn't bad - it's just not that good, either. It's a kids' platformer with great graphics and a story set in the Kirby universe.

But a Kirby game, it is not.

Interview With A Casual: Facebook Games And Who Plays Them

2010-10-13T14:54:00.000-07:00

Before Kombo took a nosedive, I was working on a set of articles for the site regarding an unusually bad PS3 fighting game, a review of a different game being released this week, and a set of interviews I did with a few active "social gamers" outside of what we would consider the hardcore gaming community. I will be posting these articles over the next few days after finding out via Google Analytics that despite a dearth of comments, people actually read the stuff I post here.

Without further ado, here is Interview with a Casual.

According to Gigaom, the average age of a "social gamer" is now a 43-year-old woman. And they outnumber us. Substantially.

The study was sponsored by PopCap, makers of casual crossover hits like Bejeweled, Peggle, and Plants Versus Zombies. The study polled the habits of players of "social online games" - games contained in social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace. These games are generally far from self-contained and use the features of social networking sites to acquire a larger player base. And in many cases, it works.

I interviewed two habitual social gamers, both friends of mine through mutual participation in community theatre. Both are wonderful people, dedicated moms, and come from different backgrounds outside of the usual hardcore gaming population. Both gave some very interesting answers about their social gaming habits. Let's call them "Pat" and "Sally".

Gaijin: What got you involved with Facebook games (was it viewing a friend's profile, hearing about it from someone in real life, etc.)? How do you choose which games to spend time on?

Pat: After many requests by friends to jump on games and help them, I visited a friend who showed me Farmtown. To help them, I started playing the game.

Sally: Friends sent me gifts and requests.

Gaijin: How many hours per week do you play Facebook games?

Pat: 10 to 14 hours a week. I play more often when starting a new game to get the game established. Now as timed tasks are involved I check in every eight to ten hours.

Sally: 15 minutes to 10 hours a week, depending on my level of boredom. I usually play early in the morning or late at night when I can't sleep but dont want to be doing things that would keep others awake.

Gaijin: What is your favorite Facebook game?

Pat: FrontierVille is my current favorite. I like to start a game and go in to first place, then it loses interest. FarmTown is another favorite as I have made friends all over the world and we communicate, usually about our favorite football team on the weekends (much bragging and teasing).

Sally: FarmTown, because you can interact with others.

Gaijin: Have you ever spent real money on items in a Facebook game? If so, did you regret the purchase? (note: "hardcore" gamers often have to purchase DLC, or downloadable content, after a game's release in order to unlock all the features on a disc that was purchased for Xbox or PlayStation consoles) If this question is too personal, you can simply say "no comment".

Pat: I have not spent a dime. I was tempted once to quicken the game, but never did and never will.

Sally: Never spent money and never will.

Gaijin: Have your experiences with social games on Facebook lead to other experiences gaming on PC or consoles? If so, what games have you played?

Pat: I recently dusted off Dr. Mario on the original Nintendo system and had an evening of laughter with an old girlfriend having Mario wars.

Sally: No.

Gaijin: Do you or your family own a Wii? Do you play it often?

Pat: Yes, my son has a Wii. He recently lost the laser and it doesn't work anymore. I used to play WiiSports with him, but because I have vertigo, most games make me ill.

Sally: I don't have any game consoles. My older son has had all of them, but never bought any of them, except his Wii. The rest were handed down.

Gaijin: Do any of your friends in real life play the same Facebook games?

Pat: I have actually connected with old friends over these games and have friends who have made second and third Facebook accounts to further themselves in the games.

Sally: I only play games my friends do. I don't accept/friend/play with people I don't know or that my friends don't know personally. For instance I have my cousin's sister-in-law and my cousin's close friends as friends in social games.

Gaijin: Have you met new friends or acquaintances through Facebook games?

Pat: Yes, we are communicating with a couple in London who garden and own an allotment. They have even invited us over. We sit on Skype and chat two times a month or so. They have sent chocolate from Europe to us and we have sent them beef jerky, something they like from the United States. I also speak to a gentlemen from England and have a great friendship.

Sally: I talk to and meet people from all over the world in Farmtown. I enjoy interacting with these people. I do not accept them as friends, as I worry about hackers and identity theft.

Gaijin: What is your favorite part about playing these games (can be general, or game-specific, i.e. "I enjoy adding items to my farm and interacting with my friends")

Pat: I am very competitive, so, it's nice to get to first place. When you get into the upper levels you find much conversation, laughter and "dirty dog" comments. Some of the games remind me of gambling. How to "Win" and be first, without spending money. A great diversion to life, and it's FREE.

Sally: Playing competitively. I enjoy making lots and lots of money. Even if it's fake...

Thanks to "Pat" and "Sally" for taking time to interview with me. I think their responses are very telling as to the kinds of efforts publishers are going to use to recruit the new generation of social gamers. I also think the responses on the DLC question were very telling. Hardcore gamers are rarely seen as a patient group - with exploits, farming cheats, etc. being discovered daily to pad trophy counts, gamerscores, and online rankings. Social gamers do spend a good deal of money on DLC - but there are also social gamers that publishers are going to have to work a little harder at courting in order to get them to part with their dollars for digital content.

Incidentally, after doing the interview, "Pat" and "Sally" connected on Facebook and began gaming together. It truly is a new world we live in.

The Return...

2010-10-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

So I'm back, after a brief flirtation with bigger things in game journalism. The last few weeks have been full of highs and lows. I have every weekend of October booked with awesome Halloween events. I got to play Marvel Vs. Capcom 3. I was able to publish a piece calling attention to the lack of Tales series localizations in the West. Work is going better than usual.

But as I type this, I sit here with a sprained hand from a gym workout. I drove to Chicago and took time off of work to get an exclusive for the gaming site which shut down the very day I was traveling. One of my arcade cabinets died this week (though I did manage to sell another one for proceeds to put towards a new board), and I'm going to get started with rehearsals soon for both murder mystery and a christmas show for the local community theatre, so I will have no shortage of things to do.

I'm still not quite sure where to go from here. I may open a site that has the potential to gain a few more followers - but I'm really unsure which direction I want to take it. I have so many side projects and barely have any time to put towards them. In the meantime, there will be some fairly interesting stuff here - including day-one reviews of a few upcoming games on certain Japanese consoles, so watch this space.

Epic 5: 関西

2010-06-29T05:16:00.001-07:00

This weekend was a tour to the Kansai region. I originally had plans to travel to Osaka with some friends, but one of those friends had financial issues with the bank back in the States (issues I understand completely, as I will document below >.<), so I decided to sign up for the tour instead. Yamasa tours are a lot of fun, and you get to see a lot of stuff, but they're very draining and very hectic. Sacrificing freedom and your own schedule does get you a steep discount on travel costs and meals, and they will take you places that would be very difficult (and expensive) to reach on your own via taxi or obscure train route. This particular one started off on the wrong foot, as I had to commute from my host family's house to the pickup point in the pouring rain. I also had not received my confirmation voucher at this time, so I was actually rather freaked out wondering whether or not they'll even come by to pick me up. Colin did eventually show up with the van courtesy of Declan, and we were off.

Fortunately, unlike the last tour, everyone coming along this time was a native English speaker which made communication both easy and relaxing as for once I didn't have to worry about the "JP Onry" rule that pretty much runs my life at this point between school rules and the fact that Japanese really is the only shared language among many of the students here. I don't know Chinese (more than 60% of the students here seem to speak it as a native language), so there's no other way to communicate. I certainly write more English than I speak on a daily basis - which is conductive to the learning environment I suppose, but can be extremely demoralizing at times. It tends to make one feel more isolated than one would normally feel in a country where you are already a minority (and in some cases a freak show). It's something you get used to but can shellshock you on occasion if you're not ready for it. I know enough Japanese to be able to communicate what I need to in a wide variety of situations, so it's not really a problem, but it still can be intimidating at times.

Our first stop was the rain-soaked Sekigahara region, marking the location of the Battle of Sekigahara in 1600. The battlefield itself wasn't much to see, but a lot happened here. This battle was a huge turning point in what would be one of the longest running and most famous shogunates of Japan - the Tokugawa Shogunate. As I learned from one of the guides, Tokugawa Ieyasu, winner of Sekigahara and first shogun of the Tokugawa line, really does not have a good reputation amongst many Japanese. He was viewed as a "schemer", someone who hung back until the opportunity arose for him to take power. In reality, he actually kept promises to those who served him, and there were many men willing to fight to the death for him because of it.

The rain kept us from enjoying the misty mountain views atop the battlefield site for long, but we did get to hear the entire story of the battle in English in the museum down the road. One thing about Japanese museums - even if there are no signs anywhere that say it, don't pull out your camera. Apparently there is an unspoken rule that picture taking in museums is forbidden. I found this out the hard way when a little Japanese lady working for the museum came running up to me with her arms crossed in the "batsu" symbol, glaring at my camera and apologizing but still insisting that the camera gets put away. I put it away but was still irked enough to not buy any souvenirs at the place. Everyone else was smart and used their phones, which were a little less obvious than my digital camera.

We then stopped at a few more temples and had lunch along the banks of a river in Kyoto. One of the guides mentioned that Nintendo headquarters was right down the street and I suddenly realized what Shigeru Miyamoto (the man who created Mario) meant when he said in an interview that he could bike to work every day. The place is just gorgeous. Mountain scenery, non-crowded roads lined with shops and restaurants, and lots of riverboats - some restaurants themselves. It didn't really seem like a rich area, but a peaceful one. An area reeking of tradition and begging to be explored fully. Seeing the scenery around here made it really obvious to me how someone growing up in an area like this could get inspired creatively.

But we weren't here for Miyamoto. We were here for Murasaki (Shikibu), author of The Tale of Genji. Apparently ten chapters of the novel, the English translation of which I read back in college, took place at one of the temples around the gorgeous river-street. I don't remember much about The Tale of Genji but I do remember it was really messed up. Actually, most of the historical and contemporary stories I read for my Japanese Literature class were really messed up, but I could write a whole blog entry just on that topic. The temple was certainly interesting to see, but a lot of the temples are starting to blend together at this point and it's getting hard to remember exactly what happened where.

Our last stop before heading into town was Ishiyama temple, where The Tale of Genji was (allegedly) written. They even have a little animatronic Murasaki Shikibu writing away in a little corner of the temple where the book was supposedly written. Personally, while I recognize the literal significance of that novel, I found it a little odd and off-putting to have a robot at a Buddhist temple. It just seemed too "touristy" for me.

One other thing I learned here, which is something relatively fascinating, is that the koi in a lot of the temple ponds have an average lifespan of 180 years. The biggest problem for them is skin cancer, which is why they try to keep the ponds shaded in a lot of areas. I had no idea a fish could live that long - particularly if it's fed as well as the temple koi are. You learn something new every day.

In Kyoto we had delicious yakitori at a small place down an alley in the Gion district (a.k.a. World Geisha Headquarters) and explored the surroundings. I had a very interesting conversation with one of the guys who does a lot of the staffing for Yamasa about organizational problems that can occur when developing software, and realized I'm more knowledgeable than I feel most days at my job, and yes, that is a good thing. We had drinks at a couple more places and saw a shrine to Susano-oh (my favorite character of Japanese mythology) lit up at night before returning to the hotel - which was fully Japanese style, a separate futon on the floor for each person, and VERY comfortable. The guys were all in one room and all the girls in another, so unfortunately I had to deal with snores coming from both sides, but at that point I was so exhausted that I really stopped caring.

The next day was Ninna-ji garden, a used kimono shop, and a nice (if unusual) Western-style breakfast where they managed to ruin the bacon by smothering it in ketchup, along with the breakfast sausage. Okay, fine, if you're going to ruin something, ruin the sausage, but leave the bacon well enough alone. It doesn't need your help, thank you.

Osaka was far away, and by the time we got there we didn't have a lot of time to eat. One of the guides picked out a tempura place and then proceeded to order tons and tons of raw seafood, which was very hit or miss. Some of it was delicious, some was edible but barely, and some of it was just bizarre - like slimy, whole mini squid or some kind of drink made of kombu. The other guide and I were both relatively irked that we went to a tempura bar and almost no tempura was ordered by the time we left. I was mad enough that I decided to buy some takoyaki at the nearest takoyaki stand on our way back to the car. Osaka is famous for takoyaki which is - for the uninformed - little balls of savory dough seared golden brown with generous pieces of cooked octopus on the inside. I know how weird it sounds to other Americans, but octopus is actually not that bad and is one of the few seafoods that doesn't taste fishy at all.

Ordering street food creates a problem, and it's one that we take for granted in the States. Despite how clean Japan is, they really don't have many garbage cans around that aren't for businesses only. And so, when you order a messy food like takoyaki and then have a piece of takeout garbage oozing with onions and sauce, there's no place to throw it out. With drinks it's not really a problem as you can just put the bottle away until you find a place to put it, but drippy, messy food containers are a huge pain in the neck. I couldn't throw out the takoyaki wrapper until arriving at a rest stop about 40 minutes after getting on the road back to Okazaki, stinking up the car in the process.

Interlude 5: Byouki

2010-06-22T02:40:00.001-07:00

So yes, I'm aware I haven't written for quite some time again. But I have a very, VERY good reason. For the last few days, I've been fighting off the most egregious case of food poisoning I've ever had. For those people ever planning on traveling abroad, let me explain that food poisoning in an unfamiliar country is one of the most torturous experiences one can encounter during a trip. Multiply that torture a few dozen times if you have a daily commute that you have to make during your trip (as I do - 40 minutes of walking and up to an hour total depending on train times).

For me, the whole thing started with a seemingly innocent lunch bento. Homestay only includes breakfast and dinner, so you are still responsible for any food you want over lunch break at YAMASA. So, Tuesday I decide to go to my usual lunchtime spot - a nearby supermarket named DOMY. DOMY is, without equal, one of the cleanest looking supermarkets I have ever seen, in Japan or otherwise. Everything smells fresh and is well-organized. Unlike with most Japanese supermarkets, not a hint of fish scent oozes out of the seafood section. Therefore, I had no concerns whatsoever about eating lunch regularly there. For two weeks I had no problems eating lunch there daily, choosing a small pork cutlet and vegetarian sushi for lunch. Tuesday, however, I tried something different. I was feeling particularly stupid after class that day and noticed a gigantic chicken katsu (fried cutlet) on sale for 198 yen, served with cabbage. Being in a bad mood I decided to choose that unhealthy option (actually cheaper than my usual sushi choice) and then head back to school where I promptly consumed both the chicken and the cabbage.

Little did I know that there was something lurking within...

That very night it came back to haunt me with a vengeance. I'll remember this forever, because it was that very chicken katsu that managed to wake me up just in time for the Nintendo E3 conference stream at 1AM JST with the worst case of indigestion ever. Not being able to sleep, I decided to go ahead and watch the conference in hopes that something about the Wii Vitality Sensor would dull my senses and put me into a boredom-induced coma. Instead, I got to see the 3DS unveiled in its delicious 3D glory as my stomach turned cartwheels and bounced up and down inside my abdomen.

My next mistake was the next morning when, despite the fact I felt more or less like I had the flu, decided it would be a good idea to try and go to class. I managed to make the hellish commute - which hurt pretty much every step of the way as I struggled NOT to be the crazy huge sickly gaijin that puked all over traincar 4 on the Aichi Loop Line - and ended up in class clutching my stomach. I was able to endure about two periods worth of class (I had to stay as long as possible because there was a test the next day) and then couldn't hold on any longer. So it was back to the homestay via another long and painful commute. My host family was gravely worried, in particular when I woke up a few hours after returning home, briefly forgetting where I was, and began mumbling in English.. "I really needed to sleep..." My host mother panicked and asks me in Japanese if I needed to go to the hospital. I snapped out of it and replied that I was probably OK, as I had food poisoning in the US before too and it had a similar feeling to this. She was really confused when she asked what I ate that could have caused this, and I replied that it was DOMY's chicken katsu. I find out later that someone else from YAMASA had recently gotten food poisoning from a DOMY bento. Wish I would have known about that before.

A note if you get sick in Japan: you can't buy medicine at a grocery store. You have to go to a kusuri-ya (drugstore, like Walgreens) in order to get anything that will fix what ails you. Now here's the problem. I'm not feeling well. And I'm already feeling beaten to death over finding out just how little Japanese I actually DO know, even after studying it for so long... how the heck am I supposed to deal with this? Of course I can ask someone where something is at the store. The concern I was trying to ignore at the time was avoiding giving the kusuri-ya clerk a story to tell when this sickly looking gigantic gaijin comes plowing into his store meekly asking for geri-dome (anti-diarrheal agent). Yeah. Great. Eventually I sucked it up and got the medicine, thanks to my host mother pointing out exactly where the kusuri-ya closest to the house was located.

Today I am fully recovered and about 5 pounds lighter than before the food poisoning. Actually, none of my pants fit anymore. They've been gradually getting larger, but now they are all far too big. My next problem... where to find a gaijin-sized belt in Okazaki...........

Epic 4: 変な日本

2010-06-14T05:09:00.000-07:00

So it has been a while since my last entry, and for that I apologize, but things have been moving fairly quickly ever since I moved in with the Hyoudou family. To me, it's just been one thing after another, slowly finding my way around the customs and expectations of the people in the household. In general, things are pretty laid back - everyone is very nice (except the kitty, which runs whenever she hears me moving around...makes me sad) and the food and conversation thus far has been quite wonderful. The biggest problem I encountered so far is figuring out how the shower works. I had a bit of a shellshock when I went into the bathroom to take a shower at 6AM only to find a traditional Japanese washbowl and faucet waiting for me. There was a showerhead too, but no matter what I tried, the damn thing wouldn't go on. I wasn't about to ask my host mother or anyone else how to use it （シャワーを使い方教えて下さい。。。）, so I improvised and washed up with the bowl and stool, 日本人 style. It was...weird.

Fortunately I discovered on the second day how the thing actually works. Next to the lever that controls the faucet there's a diagram that shows a picture of the shower head on the left, the kanji for "stop" in the middle, and a picture for the faucet on the right. Now even though I turned the faucet all the way to the left before, I failed to account for the fact that the "off" position is actually with the lever facing to the right. Once I figured this out, turning the faucet into the "up" position actually sent water to the showerhead.

It's very interesting talking with my host family because they are most certainly cultured even though rooted in Japanese tradition. They have multiple DS systems and are trying to practice English using them. Helping the daughter with spelling while she was using the English Trainer DS made me realize just how painful our language must be to people who are coming from a phonetic language (such as Japanese). Phonics, sounds like "th", "ck", "si", etc., don't make sense to them because every syllable in the Japanese language (with one exception) is a vowel-consonant pair. There are no "short" and "long" vowels in Japanese. An "a" will always sound like "ah", for example, not "ah" or "ey". Extended vowels (like our double "ee" or "ie", etc.) are always written the same way and sound the same way. Double consonants also give them trouble because it simply doesn't make sense phonetically.

It was interesting that the spelling mistakes they were making are pretty similar to the ones young kids make back in the states... "plees" for "please", for example.

Then again, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around some of the more complicated parts of the Japanese language, especially since this course is turning out to be a turbocharged version of my college course on Japanese linguistics. Japanese classes for 25 hours a week, most of which deals with exceptions that I never knew existed or only slightly understood the rules. This course is certainly building my vocabulary and giving me a stronger grammar base, but it's making me more hesitant to speak (at least in class, for fear of being completely wrong). It's something I need to get over, because as I've learned from the time with my host family, I can most certainly be understood. It's the teachers' job at Yamasa to tell us if our answer was not 100% grammatically correct.

I found an arcade fairly close to my host family's home, and I gather it may even be walking distance. So yes, finally, I have located a BlazBlue Continuum Shift machine if I ever need a fix. Fortunately the console version is due not too long from now, so I won't need it for much longer.

This weekend I went to Nagoya with some friends and may have extended travel plans. Next weekend we're planning to visit Osaka and the week after that, Tokyo (Disneyland) and a ryokan. One of my friends wants to try to get into the Ginza Vampire Cafe...we'll see how that goes...

A few weird things:

1.) Natto (a.k.a. fermented soybeans) which are apparently "good for your health" taste like nuts at first but the rancid aftertaste of something which has been partially fermented is a bit too strong for me.

2.) I tried Natsu Dango (summer) proving once again that mochi is evil, no matter how tasty the filling may be.

3.) Breakfast today, courtesy of my host mother: hot dogs. But not what you're expecting, oh no. One "hot dog" was made of breakfast sausage, ketchup, and lettuce on a bun. The other was a hard boiled egg and cucumber on a bun. Served with a side of soup and fresh kiwi. Weirdest breakfast I have ever had.

4.) Nagoya is home to one of Japan's finest creations: The Bacon Wrapped Onigiri. Yes it exists, and yes, it's as good as it sounds. A salted rice ball wrapped in a large layer of bacon seared over a charcoal grill, then basted in a sweet soy-glaze and topped with sesame seeds. Mmmmmm...heaven. Proof once again that bacon wins against all. We need to find a way to integrate bacon and sushi. Not raw bacon though.

Interlude 4: Kazoku

2010-06-10T04:34:00.001-07:00

Well, I am happy to report that today's speaking test definitely seemed (note I'm saying SEEMED) to go better than the last ones. I blame my lack of familiarity with the testing procedure for my problems on the first speaking exam. Taking my time, thinking through each answer carefully, and then answering with the appropriate response worked a lot better this time around than blurting out the first thing that came to mind and hoping somehow the Shinto gods would turn it into competent Japanese. The one thing I dislike about this testing procedure is that it discourages creativity, and this is true for one very important reason:

They are evaluating your speaking ability, and the more you speak, the more mistakes you're gonna make.

Japanese people are raised on "cram and spitback" procedural exams, not on creative answers. So creatively answering a question and trying to speak more Japanese than required will only screw you over in the end. That's what class is for, not the tests. This makes sense when looking at things from a Japanese mindset and I probably should have anticipated something like that would occur.

I played hookie this afternoon (yeah, I know) in order to pack and prepare to move to my host family's house. Admittedly I was worried sick because I wasn't sure what I was getting myself into, how far away they would be from the school, what kind of commute I'd have to take to get there, etc... plus I wanted to make sure I didn't accidentally leave anything in the room. After packing up and getting picked up, I was moved into the host family's home, a few miles away from the school and a 10-minute ride by train.

The family is wonderful. The grandmother is very nice and seemed relieved that I could speak Japanese. According to her, the last student that was hosted by them could not speak a word of Japanese and didn't really want to use the stuff she was taught in class in order to communicate, instead relying on English and hand signs. I must look like a superstar to them.

The parents are both very nice. The mother is a housewife and the father works at Mitsubishi Motors. Pretty typical Japanese arrangement. They are in their early 40's and own what I think is a VERY nice house by Japanese standards. It's very tall, and each floor is relatively small in size (similar to the big game centers in Tokyo). Each floor has one or two rooms only and a small, narrow staircase leading to yet another floor. There are at least four floors in this place but I'm only going where I've been shown out of courtesy.

The 6-year-old daughter, though she appeared nervous when first meeting me, is not shy. Gaijin that are the size of Godzilla apparently don't scare her, as it only took me an hour of being here before she popped into my room with her fashion game on her DS and started talking to me. She is Japanese cuteness personified and I think I'm going to learn quite a bit of Japanese from just talking with her and the others in the house. I am told that the others that stayed here were mostly otaku, so I'm going to do my best to make sure that I leave a good impression of both Yamasa and Ameritaku (yes I just made that up and I'm keeping it) by the time I leave. I'm very much looking forward to what is going to be a life-changing experience for me.

はじめまして！　　＾＿＾

Interlude 3: Tanjyoubi x Shuumatsu

2010-06-06T03:34:00.000-07:00

I haven't written in a while, mainly because I've been so busy. Thursday was my first exam and - although I did very well on the written portion - I bombed the speaking. I think it was a combination of not knowing what to expect and the sensei typing out everything I'm saying (including the interjections) on a laptop as she's asking me questions. I was so nervous that I drew a blank...similar to what I guess most people would call "stage fright" although I never get stage fright on stage... and couldn't speak. The garbage Japanese that blurted out of my mouth at that point was completely incorrect, and I felt very bad after exiting the testing room and realizing just how badly I probably did.

So not only did I have a lousy test on my birthday, but the following conversation in class was about Japanese funerals - how ironic. Though I really shouldn't beat myself up too much about that test, I feel that as a 4-year student I should have done better. The important thing is that I know what to expect in a speaking test now and will be fully prepared. The biggest clue I could have given myself ahead of time would be to relax, gather your thoughts, and then speak. Don't blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind.

In the evening some friends met me for dinner, and we went to Aeon and had some delicious tempura and played around in the game center for a while. Not a bad way to spend my first birthday in Japan.

On Friday we reviewed the ~ba form, which is fortunately something I'm quite familiar with. There are many more exceptions to using it then I remember, though. I know all those exceptions are going to be on the next test. I have come up with a new gameplan for handling the material here. Even though most of it is going to be review, the fact of the matter is I need to come to class prepared to speak it. Thus I will be spending the majority of my time each morning before class doing preparations for the day's class rather than reviewing the material from the class before. I think this will make me more effective.

This weekend we went to Okazaki Castle and the culture center, where there are free conversation classes in Japanese for foreigners on Saturdays and Sundays. We did conversation drills in this lesson that were very similar to the ones covered in class, but at a slower pace. I will be attending these lessons weekly. I also took a few pictures at a cosplay event held in that same culture center today. Cosplay in Japan isn't as crazy as most people would have you believe - it's about on par with the stuff here. There was a really decent Zero from Code Geass and a clown on stilts, along with the usual assortment of catgirls and lolis. This evening I'm doing some preparation for tomorrow's classes and watching a few episodes of Japanese action shows and dramas. It looks like rain so it doesn't seem like a nice evening for going out.

Epic 3: 強くなりたい

2010-05-31T03:40:00.000-07:00

I have a lot to say and not a lot of time to say it. After my first day of class finished up, I was sort of dreading a long and uneventful weekend before things finally got rolling on Monday. However, things didn't quite end up that way. After returning to the student village I ran into a few people who I've seen around and was invited to go karaoke with them. I was admittedly quite thrilled because ever since the first night here I haven't really been out and about all that much - just going to school, grabbing dinner, and coming back home.

Although I totally stink, it was a lot of fun. This place is great. Far less expensive than the one in Shibuya that I went to before in Tokyo, and they actually give you all-you-can-drink soda and tea during your karaoke session. Yes, really. They also have special pricing where for approx. $20 per person you can karaoke as long as you want as long as at least one room is available to other guests.

I also signed up for a tour to Kobe and Nara which happened over the weekend. Although usually temples and shrines aren't necessarily my thing, I did want to make a return visit to Kobe, and plus an overnight trip sounded like a lot of fun. And it was. It really, really was.

The person who drove us around, Colin-sensei, is a cool guy. A former Yamasa student and now married to a teacher who is from the area, he is actually far past the "bitter gai(koku)jin" phase of living in Japan and had a lot of really good insight into Japan, its people, and its culture during the trip. He is also a huge Star Wars nerd and spent a lot of time debating semantics of the "extended universe" (known to the rest of us as 'the books') in terms of what is and is not technically canon material.

I couldn't remember the names of all the places we visited if it killed me, but there were some really cool highlights. And low-lights, I suppose.

Highlights:

1.) The temples we saw were absolutely gorgeous, including the one where Last Samurai Was filmed. That one required you to take a gondola up a mountain in order to access the grounds. How often do you get to see something like that? Not very often. Todaiji, too, which is self-explanatory. Largest wooden building in the world.

2.) The people that took the trip with me were all very cool. It was nice to get to know a couple of my non-English-speaking classmates a bit better as it lessens the "gap" between the chugokugo speakers and the eigo speakers.

3.) A crazy, tightrope-walking Japanese magician performing in the "foreigner district" square of Kobe. Now when I say "foreigner district" I mean the OLD foreigner district, where there are Western-style houses and embassies from hundreds of years ago that are now museums.

4.) Pasta in Japan that did not have ketchup on it, was actually tasty, and was Western-style.

5.) Rest stops in Japan are awesome and have better food than most sit-down places in the States. No I'm not kidding. They have just about everything you can think of, and it tastes really good.

6.) Talking to the locals in a pub in Himeji.

7.) Deducing enough from an all-kanji menu to order food and help other people order food gave me a huge high.

Lowlights:

1.) Making a wrong turn in Himeji when looking for somewhere to eat at night and ending up on what one person in the group called "Rape Road"...basically a seedy, dirty, grimy alleyway which seemed to have a lot of Gentlemen's Clubs and other businesses of questionable ethic...and sadly also the only place in the general area with any sort of restaurants at all. Both myself and the other American who went on the trip had a really bad feeling about the places we were walking, but the girls couldn't decide on a place to eat and chivalry dictates we stay with them until they do and just try to ignore the possible yakuza giving us the stink-eye from across the street.

2.) Getting poked and prodded in places by the locals in the pub in Himeji who were trying to compare sizes of hands, shoes, and yes, other stuff too. Once they reached into my personal space, I called it quits for the night and went back to the hotel. Apparently I was the only one that had this issue. They didn't bug Colin or Will. Just me. Grr.

3.) The hills of Kobe make your feet hurt. But at least it's good exercise.

4.) No matter how good the company, being stuck in a Japanese-designed minivan for 4-5 hours at a time is not comfortable.

After returning last night, I went to class today and had what was the single most intense Japanese lesson I have ever had. Most of it was review...actually the sensei pulled me aside after class to ask if I had seen the stuff before. Yes, actually everything covered in "Minna no Nihongo II", I most certainly have studied, and been tested on, before. The bigger problem is that because I haven't studied the language officially (just on my own time) for the past 5 years, my conversation is weak. Reading and comprehending is fine. The issue is with speaking. Fortunately, this program is specially designed to remedy that problem. I suppose it's nice that I don't have to worry about new grammar points, but the way they use joshi (particles) and continually test/attempt to trick you over and over again is going to drill the fundamentals into me. In a lot of ways it's going to make my Japanese much less sloppy.

The bad part about being in SC class though is that I don't get access to the chukyu stuff, like the "Nihongo Cafe" where you can interact with local residents. One of my biggest balks with this program is that although you're forced into using Japanese with other gaijin, there really isn't much ability to interact with native speakers other than class and at stores ... you know, buying stuff. You can only order food in so many different ways before you realize you're getting zero practice.

That's not to say the classes are bad or not worthwhile. I'm on the hunt for some programs that will allow me face time with some locals without sounding forced. I was really, really upset earlier today when I heard Nihongo Cafe wasn't open to SC, and I'm not here long enough to where testing into chukyu would matter (if I do all the modules, the test will happen right before I leave to return to Minnesota)... 無理. Hence my little outburst earlier.

I feel better now though. I do wish I would have retained more, but I am learning quite a bit. Doing the math, each day of classes here is equivalent to about a week of Japanese at college and that doesn't include the time speaking it outside of class or the fact that I'm going to be on a homestay in less than two weeks. This place truly is Japanese Boot Camp.

絶対に強くなれる！

Interlude 2: The Big Leagues

2010-05-26T04:58:00.001-07:00

As I mentioned in my last note, I am currently in the city of Okazaki, Aichi preparing for my placement exams tomorrow. The first day at Yamasa has been a whirlwind - I've met a lot of people, moved into a dorm room, shown the general area, and relaxed at an izakaya. And then I woke up at 5AM this morning.

Today I spent a few hours studying, which I need to get back to shortly.

Apparently the school's definition of "intermediate" studies is between JLPT level 3 and 2 - basically where I want to be. Because of this, however, there is a chance that depending on the content of the placement test I may be finishing up beginner lessons. There are two sections of the test that worry me - first is keigo (a.k.a. polite and humble speech) and the second deals with the use of the Japanese passive voice, which is a bit in-depth to discuss here. I've reviewed both today and though I feel fairly confident I have no idea what to expect. I passed JLPT 3 with flying colors back in December, and I have no idea how many questions I need to answer correctly to pass this test. I do know that the format is similar to the JLPT which is a good thing as it means I've been studying the correct material.

Other than that, I spent the day exploring and wandering a bit, trying to figure out where things are. As such, I had a lot of time to myself today to think. Admittedly I used to complain about the hustle and bustle of Tokyo, but this place is altogether different and at this point I'm undecided on whether I like it more or less. Everything is spread out - requiring much more walking - and relying on English in a pinch is no longer an option. As far as trial-by-fire language experience is concerned, I'm in the big leagues now.

I suppose I am starting to feel a little homesick. I miss my girlfriend, and my cat. I've been in Japan for almost a full week now, and tomorrow classes begin. I'm meeting a lot of people but I'm still not sure who my "friends" will be, so the next few days are going to be very interesting. There is a certain "camaraderie" among the students here in that we all have a common interest though we may not even be able to converse outside of the Japanese language. I've met people from all over the world already, and I'd say about half of them don't speak a word of English. It makes this school very unique, though I will say you can only experience as much as you allow yourself to.

The other Americans I've met, save one, are a perfect example of the species as far as the rest of the world is concerned. These guys are boisterous and nonchalant. They don't even bother trying communicating with the other students in Japanese outside of class, and aren't really interested in learning anything at all. Considering how much I'm paying to be here and how much I'm trying to experience in a short time, every time one of these guys opens his mouth it makes me cringe. My guess? College kids, and their parents are most likely footing the bill for them to come here to "study".

But I'm not them, so I don't let it get to me. Tomorrow, it begins.

Epic 2: 外人クエスト

2010-05-25T02:40:00.001-07:00

Apologies for the delay in writing the next entry, but I've been pushed and pulled from event to event and really haven't had a lot of time to think about anything. I am sitting here writing this entry IN OKAZAKI, having made the trip successfully from Tokyo. I am rather exhausted after three+ hours of train rides, too, and I have a tip that there's going to be a rather nasty honorific/humble conjugation portion of the placement exam on Thursday, so I really need to start reviewing that soon.

In the meantime, here's a recap of what happened over the last few days.

On Saturday, I met with my uncle's associates and they took me to Senso-ji temple in the Asakusa ward of Tokyo. It was amazingly huge - as in larger than anything I've ever seen - including all the temples and shrines we visited in Kamakura. I also got to enjoy a plate of the best tonkatsu I have EVER had. After touring Senso-ji, they wanted to take me to Akihabara, too, but I declined - simply because I did not want to shop when hauling around two grown Japanese men that I could tell really didn't want to be there in the first place. Finishing my outing with them early opened up a couple of options for the afternoon - unfortunately I didn't take either of them. I made the mistake of lying down and ended up passing out at 4PM, causing a rather rude awakening at 5AM the next day. Nothing a little Japanese Home Shopping Network couldn't fix though... after turning that junk on, I was out like a light again within a half hour

Now, Sunday was planned. I took the time out to check into reservations for Luida's Bar: Dragon Quest - the closest thing Square-Enix has to an amusement park in the entire world (or so I thought). Turns out that on Sundays you don't need reservations, you just show up at a particular time (they told me 11:38) and you get in. Fair enough, right? No. Something didn't smell right. In fact, it downright stunk. Gaijin sense activated.

So, with my gaijin senses tingling, I boarded a train to Roppongi not one, but TWO hours early...even though it was raining quite hard in Tokyo at the time. I don't know exactly what it was, but something was telling me this was a good idea, even if it meant I would have had to camp somewhere until the place opens. About a half hour after disembarking at Roppongi, I find Luida's Bar. Lo and behold, my gaijin sense was SPOT ON. Not only were there people already waiting, but there were A LOT of people waiting. The line stretched past the place, past the place next to it, and down a flight of stairs underneath the building. Fortunately I was one of the last lucky people to get a spot in line outside of the rain. Every single person in this line as far as I could tell had a DSi XL and a copy of Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2 (which doesn't mean much to a lot of you - it is a $70 Dragon Quest spinoff DS game that just came out over here, that is all you need to know), and the ones that noticed me appeared a bit confused by my presence. I think one guy even took a picture of me with his phone but I really have no idea why. Maybe it was my imagination, or maybe he was photographing the line.

In any case, at about 11:38, after approximately another hour of waiting in line and mooching on Square Enix wifi, a server comes out of the restaurant and begins a fluent Japanese barrage from the top of the stairs that I could only hear pieces of. This was partially because he was going so fast, and partially because the volume of the echo was louder than the actual speech from where I was standing. What I was able to catch is this. Basically we've been waiting in line for a SPOT to get into the bar at a specific time, not to get into the bar right now. Apparently the sooner you line up, the better slot you get. So I get to the front of the line and get asked what time I want to come back (the bar was already at capacity for the first session). I asked what the soonest available was, and was told 13:00. It was 11:45 now.

I take my ticket and start scouting around Roppongi for something to kill a couple of hours. Lo and behold, there is a McDonalds right down the street. I go inside and order a large fountain pop, which is actually refreshing since I've spent just about all morning waiting in line for a spot at Luida's. They had lots of seating upstairs so I took a seat, sipped my Coke Zero, and ran Kanji cards/played a few games on my iPhone for an hour. Then it's back to the line. I'm first this time, and out of the rain. The server from before returns to the line and hands out the faux velvet-covered menus. I take a look and choose my order.

Hmm... let's see.

Slime-shaped meat bun (check).
Goddess fruit (check).
Medal pizzas (scary, but they look tasty, check).
Fried monster mix (check).

And for drinks:
Something blue and alcoholic that didn't have a dragon quest name, and
A non alcoholic "elf potion" in an actual potion-shaped bottle.

They eventually let us in. Dragon Quest music is blaring. Two waitresses in DQ outfits are getting everything ready and I get two deer-in-headlights OMG-DON'T-MAKE-ME-SPEAK-ENGLISH expressions as I am guided to my table. The bar is standing-room-only quite literally, as there is no room for chairs. It turns out they only let 25 people in at a time and then close the bar, let 25 more in, etc. In this way only 150 or so customers can visit them each day, and they manage to fill every time due to the artificial demand (and the fact that it's Dragon Quest, which over here is like a religion).

I give my order and go to the register to pay, as that's how it's done here - and then return to my table to find one of the waitresses waiting for me. She asks me if I like DQ, to which I reply that most of the current games aren't out yet. My Japanese is still fairly broken at this time - I'm just now getting it back now a few days later - but of course I get comments about how good it is. DQVIII is my favorite game in the series, and only one of three I've actually played. Another waitress gets on a microphone and revs the crowd into a frenzy about Dragon Quest Monsters: Joker 2 and asks them to trade items with each other if they brought their DSes. She also mentioned it was okay to take pictures anywhere in the restaurant, which was really nice as most themed places don't let you do it.

So the food comes. Most of it is fairly decent but not worth the price of admission. I had a couple of good conversations with the waitresses, one of which is trying to get on a study abroad program to the US, but otherwise, it was fairly uneventful. I'm glad I went though, if for no other reason than to be able to say I went. I then had a very nice dinner yesterday with my blue-op team and found out a few interesting things about them too. I won't go into details except to say it makes me feel a little more sane to know that other people think the same way as Lisa and I do.

Interlude 1: Katsuobushi

2010-05-22T23:44:00.001-07:00

Ahh, bonito. Or in Japanese, katsuobushi.

These fish flakes are responsible for seasoning 99% of Japanese cuisine. Deliciously subtle when prepared right, disgustingly fishy for Western palates when prepared wrong or in too great of quantities. If you don't like fish and you plan on coming to Japan, unfortunately you will have to live with it. However, if you are unaware of the fact that most dishes are seasoned with fish stock, you will most likely not be able to deduce this fact.

Those familiar with Japanese cuisine may know what I'm talking about, but let me explain for the rest of us. These flakes are either on everything, or in everything, to some degree. Ramen? Yep. Sukiyaki broth? You betcha. Inari? Yep, sorry. Gyuudon (or any donburi for that matter?) There too. Many other dishes are also topped with them - such as yakisoba noodles and okonomiyaki. These flakes were singlehandedly responsible (along with a douche waitress) for making sure Lisa and I would never return to the only (real) sushi restaurant in Rochester. I will spare the details here but needless to say that when these flakes aren't balanced, they can really destroy a decent bowl of noodles.

Needless to say, when Satoshi and Haji took me out for Okonomiyaki on Friday night and I noticed that everything we were being served was piled high with the stuff...oozing and shrinking into the hot food... I was a little doubtful of what I was going to do. I requested the pieces with the least amount of katsuobushi and came to a shocking discovery. That in moderation, and if they're fresh, katsuobushi can be a nice addition to a dish. Sadly, Japanese still love piling the stuff three layers high, which is more than my meat-centric palate can take. I was pleasantly surprised at how non-fishy fresh katsuobushi can actually be.

And I use the term "fresh" with caution here, because the darn things are made by drying fish out for weeks and smoking it...so I really don't know if the term "fresh" can really apply to katsuobushi in the first place.

And my mind is done wandering.

Epic 1: 冒険が始まる

2010-05-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

It finally begins.

So I'm going to begin this by saying that until I was finally able to sleep last night, I was up for over 30 hours - due to both the long flight to Japan itself along with the trip to Minneapolis and the layover in Chicago. It was next to impossible to sleep on the shuttle to the Cities or on the plane itself because...of course... the person in front of me reclined into my knees on all 3 legs of the journey - INCLUDING THE SHUTTLE TO MINNEAPOLIS. I'm starting to really wish I was about 5'6" instead of 6'3"

The flight to Japan was nice for a change, because I flew ANA and got to travel in a very, VERY spiffed up Boeing 737. It even had "new plane smell", which up until this point I believed was a myth. Going from the plane that flies the nonstop route to Tokyo from Minneapolis (with broken seats, discolored/cracked projectors with no choice in programming, dirty cabin, etc...) to this brand new plane with individual TV displays (with remote control and on-demand programming), decent food, and comfortable seats* was completely worth the two-hour layover in Chicago. When I booked the flight, the only seat left was in the middle of a row, and I was seriously dreading that flight because as I've learned from experience, tall people and middle seats DO NOT MIX.

*when not being reclined against your legs

It would have been painful, too, if not for the person in the checkin line ahead of me who - for some reason unknown to me - wanted to move her aisle seat to a middle seat closer to the front of the plane. I moved my seat to that aisle seat, so I was able to be at least a little more comfortable. The plane was completely full, so there weren't any opportunities to upgrade to Economy Plus or whatever ANA's equivalent was. Looking at the seats, though, they didn't look much larger than the ones in regular Economy and I'd still have the reclining problem. I'm still a bit sore from the plane 24 hours later, which tells you how cramped it really was. The new planes are slightly more ergonomically designed, but their main purpose is still to cram as many seats as possible into as little space as possible. The only way I could be even REMOTELY comfortable is in first class. Anyone have any frequent flier program suggestions? I'm on Delta's but I'm not taking that Greyhound-in-the-sky for 5 more trips just to earn enough points to attempt - ATTEMPT - acquiring an exit row seat and even then I would only get it if someone else with a higher frequent-flier ranking doesn't come in and pull it out from under me.

On this flight I met a very nice group of Christian missionaries who were flying over to tour Japan and talk to people about their church and programs. When I asked whether they were doing volunteer work, they wanted to say yes but I could tell from their reaction that they weren't going to do much of that and explained they were coming mostly to talk to people and support the efforts of expat missionaries living here in Japan. I explained to them a little bit about the Japanese religious philosophy because they mentioned that the Japanese are one of the most difficult groups to "talk seriously to about God". As an agnostic I am chuckling on the inside - but I would understand exactly why they would feel that way. Japanese people are less religious and more superstitious. Some of their rituals come from Shinto - their creation myths and legends (think Greek/Roman mythology sorts of tales), while other rituals come directly from Buddhism or Zen-Buddhism. Most people have ample exposure to both, but live their own lives without focusing much on a god. When they need guidance in a particular area of their lives, they go pray to the Shinto god/goddess related to their problem at a shrine for luck. They also incorporate some of the Buddhist style teachings into other areas of their lives. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule and there are plenty of Buddhist monks and Shinto shrine maidens (miko) here as well who live very strictly to the tenets of their religion. Their relationship with their religion is very different in general than the average Christian. I explained all of this to the missionaries and they seemed very interested in what I had to say.

One of the people in that missionary group has a daughter on the trip who says she wants to live in Japan (though has never been there) and wants to major in game design. Sounds familiar, ne?

Well, I said that I used to be the exact same way until I came here, and I ended up telling this mother the same thing my parents told me - in that it's OK to want to work on games or in gaming - but when getting a degree you should definitely pursue one of the base programs (such as 3D modeling, computer science, etc.) and work on the game stuff through electives or on your own time - as opposed to getting a dedicated degree in game design. A lot of well-known developers have gone on record to say that they are more likely to hire someone who has a stronger diverse educational background from a known university than a recent graduate of Westwood College. "My mom told me I wouldn't get anywhere with these games!"

In any case, they were a very nice group though there were a couple periods of awkwardness when I asked about what they were doing in Japan. I finished up talking with them by giving a quick "Yen 101" course since I had some Japanese money with me already, and showed them what $1, $5, $10, and $50 equivalents will look like, and how to quickly do the Yen/$ conversion. I also told them that they made the right decision to not exchange their money in the States and to wait until landing at Narita...because most US airports have a really, really nasty markup on foreign currency. I gave the leader of the group my business card and let them know they could contact me if they ran into language or culture issues. They seemed very surprised my work would allow me to do a trip like this. I'm continually reminded how lucky I really am.

A few more interesting notes on flying ANA when compared to Delta/Northwest:

1.) The dinner meal was actually decent and didn't make anyone sick as far as I could tell. They had a choice between katsu curry and steamed salmon, both of which were served with a variety of side dishes. The katsu was actually decent for airline food. They also had a "premium" menu (using the term loosely) where you could pay 700 yen (~$7.80) for what amounts to a bowl of higher-quality instant ramen. The meal they served right before we landed, however, looks like it was taken right from the bowels of American Airlines test kitchens. A burrito. BURRITO - With something resembling cheese, beans, and some sort of mystery meat. It tasted like the instant burritos you can get in most gas stations or at Sam's Club... except with less flavor. I only took a couple bites of that one because I was fairly sure it would make me sick. Fortunately they served this Mexican reject-concoction with a cup of yogurt and a fruit bowl, so I went ahead and ate those. A note to people used to the American melting pot of delicious international cuisine: Japanese-Italian food is scary. Japanese-Mexican food is scarier... ESPECIALLY ON AIRPLANES.

2.) ANA flight experience was wonderful overall. However - it's definitely 1950's over here. They didn't have a single attendant working the flight that looked over 30 years old, all of them were female, and none of them ever stopped smiling. Really different than what we're used to. It was nice being served by people who at least appeared to not hate every second of their job. Whether or not they were actually happy is a whole different issue (tatemae vs. honne which I will not be discussing now). Older and/or male attendants only worked the gate and passport check, and did not serve people on the flight. Interesting.

3.) The flight attendants don't think gaijin can speak Japanese.

I managed to get a little bit of sleep on the plane, but not much...and upon landing I quickly got through customs, exchanged my money, and made it on the just-departing Narita express to be carried into downtown Tokyo which is roughly an hour trip. In my severely jet-lagged brain I had a decision to make. The Narita Express drops off at Shinjuku station, which is quite a walk to my hotel. It's also rush hour. So the question becomes how do I avoid playing Japanese-person bowling with my oversized luggage on the packed trains.

The options were:

A.) Get off at Shinjuku station and walk to the hotel - not happening when carrying that much luggage. It's a good 30-40 minute walk and that would be painful.

B.) Ride the subway - two problems: first I'd have to remember where the entrance is. Second, I'd have to go up/down four flights of stairs with no escalator to enter/exit the subway station.

C.) Ride the train one stop from Shinjuku and walk 10 minutes to the hotel - this is the one I chose and the route we took last time as well. Since I know where I'm going this time, it was a lot less painful. The walk was still tough because I had to bring a lot of stuff, but it was manageable.

On the way to the hotel I spotted no fewer than 10 "vanity" umbrellas carried by women to keep their faces out of the sun (apparently pale skin is "in"). I also spotted a guy walking two dogs, one of which was dressed in a full ballerina costume, tutu and all. Yep, I'm definitely back in Japan...

I was able to rest for a while once reaching the hotel, and then ventured out again to meet two people from the Japanese branch of work - Haji and Satoshi. On the way I tried a little experiment. You see, rumor is that on Japanese trains, you can spread out because of something known on the Internet as the "Gaijin Barrier". It works as follows: on the crowded trains of Japan, people will generally do everything they can to find an empty seat as they usually fill up quickly. But if a foreigner sits in a seat, the seats to the immediate left and right of that foreigner remain empty. People don't want to sit next to us, so the joke/theory is we have a sort of "barrier effect" on keeping the natives at bay. The myth was proven false for the second time today, as upon sitting down on the Chuo-line train bound for Tokyo station, it only took two stops before there was a middle-aged Japanese woman to the immediate left of me, and an elderly Japanese man on the right even though there were other single empty seats in the row. I was rather taken aback by this because the only time I've ever noticed the "Gaijin Barrier" failing before was when I was dressed up in a suit for my presentation at IBM Japan. Apparently if you dress like a tourist people are put off, but not if you're dressed like you belong there. But I was dressed touristy (nice, but touristy) on the Chuo-line and people didn't mind sitting next to me. Weird.

I've gone on for long enough for today. Stay tuned tomorrow for today's events and a side note on one of the biggest love-hate foods of Japan: the katsuobushi, or bonito fish flake.

From Horse Armor To Stimulus And Beyond: Future of DLC

2010-04-07T11:24:00.000-07:00

Although this topic isn't exactly a new one, as this (armored) horse has been dead and beaten over and over again since the start of this generation), the launch of Nintendo's new DSi XL has brought some issues to light that a lot of gamers probably haven't spent a lot of time thinking about... namely, what's going to happen to DLC when this generation ends and the next one begins...

First, a few things to ponder:

1.) It is not in the console makers' best interests to make DLC backwards-compatible with previous console iterations. It is in their financial interest, as corporations, to make you buy it again. Proof? Look at how Microsoft half-assed BC in the 360 and how Sony ripped it out of later PS3 models. BC is a financial drain, it doesn't make money and in fact ends up costing them money. "Make your customers buy their games again, boost the bottom line."

2.) Apparently users are scarfing up the DSi XL quite a bit overseas; a lot of these users over in Japan are owners of previous DS systems.

3.) Rock Band and Guitar Hero, cash cows in the world of DLC, have limits on the licenses to their music. If (when) iterations of RB and GH launch on the successors of the 360/PS3 and Wii, will infrastructure be in place to port over existing song catalogs? Again, based on console maker/third party interests, that doesn't make sense. And that doesn't even factor in RIAA/music licensing issues arising from such a function. Almost guaranteed this would be a legal nightmare.

4.) Even assuming you do not purchase a next-gen console, what happens when the XBL/PSN servers are taken offline, particularly if you had a RROD and never transferred licenses?

5.) The casual crowd does not have a concept of "licensing". In their minds, anything they purchase is theirs to keep/own. I guarantee there will be stories on the national news if/when Nintendo announces its next console with a next-gen iteration of Virtual Console with no means of porting over content from existing Wiis. Particularly if that "next console" is a Wii1.5HD, i.e. not a full generation upgrade. Nintendo: your "blue ocean" casual audience - the one you've spent so much time, effort, and marketing dollars catering to - is going to be very ticked off when their VC games don't work on their new Wii. Grandma doesn't know about EULA's.

I'm seeing a fairly disturbing pattern here, and it's one that a lot of gamers probably either fail to notice or don't care about. In the realm of DLC, you don't own your content. You license it.

I will spell this out, to make it even more clear: IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW, YOUR DLC IS NOT YOURS TO OWN.

You are at the mercy of the console manufacturer in regards to most downloadable content, which doesn't bode well for people who spent hundreds of dollars on fleshing out their Rock Band song catalogs. This is something the PC gaming world is already experiencing - with companies like Ubisoft implementing draconian DRM schemes at the expense of users everywhere. Back in the days of "Don't Copy That Floppy", we never had to worry about our old games not being available to play in the future. I still know people who play classic PC games and classic console games on a regular basis. This is going to change.

Ever since the early experiments with content like Horse Armor in Oblivion, all the way through locking out content on the disc, to now where "knowledgable" gamers are fairly aware of what pieces of DLC are actually a decent value - though most have splurged on a few "guilty pleasure" bad deals (my most notable being the SFIV costume pack - which I KNEW was on the disc and yet still bought once the price on it was reduced). The point I'm trying to make is this... I believe gamers are being - or at least SHOULD be - mroe careful as this generation hits its peak and progresses into the background. It is likely the new consoles will be announced next year, despite the fact that to me it appears far too soon (game incubation for current-gen titles is much longer than in the PS2 generation), and when those new systems hit the market they are almost guaranteed to be accompanied by a deluge of downloadable options incompatible with their previous iterations.

At least Microsoft and Sony have _a way_ of making their new systems compatible with old DLC, through progression of PSN and XBL ids to the new systems. Nintendo, on the other hand, has chosen to tie each piece of DS or Wii DLC to the console itself, which creates a whole lot of headaches for the consumer, but a lot of control to Nintendo. For example:

1.) Your console breaks out of warranty, and being the casual consumer you are, you go get a new Wii instead of calling customer service and find that your licenses don't transfer. You complain and then buy your content again. More money for the big N.

2.) You decide to change your business model to a more Apple-oriented approach - rather than releasing new, drastically updated consoles every few years, you release slightly better yearly iterations, bringing in new users and forcing your dedicated fanboys to upgrade. Since DLC is tied to console, the fanboys fork over the money for the few applications they aren't sick of and download them to the new console. Every....time.... More money for the big N.

3.) The new console scenario. Again, pretty much same as above. Fanboys and the casual crowd will both scarf it up and download the applications they found most useful and possibly a few new ones. Fast forward a year and cycle to #(2.)
Endless money-printing machine for the big N.

Be smart. Think before you download.

Typical...

2010-03-16T13:09:00.001-07:00

(image from Kotaku.com)

And people wonder why Japanese gamers don't play online.

Translation:
"You stupid JAP cheater. I wonder if you're angry because your dick is small? Do you remember HIROSHIMA and NAGASAKI? We can do that again. Sneaky, stupid dickhead..."

Some analysis:
The Japanese in the note itself looks like the product of an introductory college-level Japanese class combined with "butch speak" picked up from watching too many episodes of Dragon Ball Z, Naruto, and Bleach.

There is some discussion going around about whether or not the messages is faked, but I'm fairly certain it is not, judging from both grammatical (early Japanese courses teach 'node' as 'because' - despite its lack of use in non-formal settings like this; interchanging wa and ha, etc.) and content (overuse of penis terms) point of view - it looks like someone has a bit too much time on his hands and wanted to rage. Said person just happened to be a Bleachtard.

Well, here's a news flash. This whole "play together over the Internet" thing? It wasn't always like that. In a lot of ways, multiplayer this generation has deteriorated. As much as I loathe the Wii's friend codes with a passion, it is nice to not receive hateful messages every time a match or game doesn't go in my opponent's favor. I grew up in the arcade renaissance of Street Fighter II and Mortal Kombat - very competitive games. But I never - EVER - heard people talking trash the way they do now. People would challenge each other to matches, certainly, but that's about it. Even TEAM games have fellow team members yelling into their mics, name-calling, and trash talking their own teammates.

In Japanese arcades, people were too intimidated to play next to the opponent they were challenging in a fighting game. That's why they organize their candy cabs back-to-back, with only one set of controls on each side...this way the winner continues playing and the loser doesn't have to deal with facing the one that beat them.

I suppose the term "GAIJIN SMASH" would apply. Someone from the West thinking he's hot shit by talking down to a Japanese player. I suppose the worst part of the whole thing is the Japanese gamer on the receiving end of this rant probably has no idea how often this type of thing happens when western gamers play online against each other. Honestly, it's rather sickening.

E-CREDDDDDD!!!!

2010-03-11T14:53:00.001-08:00

Yoichi Wada has responded to a tweet I made to his account about FF13. ^.^

Apparently my Japanese was semi-readable! YAY!

Abandoning The Hype Train

2010-03-11T12:38:00.000-08:00

Final Fantasy XIII released on Tuesday morning at 12:01AM this week. And I was at Gamestop an hour earlier eagerly awaiting the countdown.

After bringing the game home and playing the first few hours - the exact same set of sequences composing the Japanese demo and a lot of the footage used for reviews - I came to a stunning conclusion. For the first time, in years, I'm playing a game where I absolutely, positively, 100% have NO IDEA what's going to happen next. And that, especially for a game as story-based as this one, is a VERY good thing.

I made an effort to avoid internet posts that spoil the game (something I usually don't manage to do with a series that is notorious for long localization periods - I always end up stumbling into SOMETHING). Being careful was absolutely worth the effort.

Stig Asmussen, the God of War III director, made a good point in an interview with Kotaku, in that he said the reason why he doesn't want people feeling like they've played his game before they've actually played his game. And there's some truth to that. In recent years I've gotten so worked up over releases that I'd salivate over any new nugget of information about a game's characters, locales, enemies, and gameplay. In this age - the internet age - it's not difficult to find what you're looking for. Always - without fail - after getting the game home and popping it in, I was fatigued after little more than an hour. I didn't realize at the time that the reason for this fatigue, this desire to NOT play the game I've been looking forward to for so long, was not because I'm simply growing out of games. It was due to overexposure. Hype fatigue. Knowing too much is a BAD thing.

People complain consistently about spoiling things. And I believe there's some truth to it. Major plot points hurt story-based games. Gameplay discussion can hurt action-based games. It's far too easy to get information on the internet, and there's always some dickwad who got it early that would be more than happy to tell you everything in an unassuming forum post (the equivalent to driving by a line outside a bookstore yelling "SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!!!1!111!"). There is a reason to be careful. And although a victim myself for unrelated reasons, I suppose NeoGAF's itchy trigger finger on the banhammer is itchy for good reason.

Will have a review of the game up soon...

On XBOX Live's "Juvenile" quotient...

2010-01-22T12:15:00.000-08:00

Those MAG developers had a good point when they talked about how XBOX Live is generally less mature than PSN, but it all boils down to one thing: voice.

Little Johnny may have gotten his mic with his 360 that his parents bought him as a babysitting device, so he can go on Halo and call people "jew-bags" (and many other insults, both real and made up) and teabag those unfortunate enough to be stuck in a game with him for days on end. But if those same parents bought him a PS3 instead, he can't. At least he can't say much while he's playing - because those parents are far more likely to purchase a Live subscription (why, don't ask me...probably the same reason 12-year-old Johnny is playing M-rated Halo in the first place) than buy a headset.

And that, my friends, is that.

夢と現実 (Dreams and reality)

2010-01-20T12:55:00.001-08:00

I guess it still hasn't quite settled in yet.

I'm. Going. To. Japan.

Over the last few days I've been doing a lot of research on the area where I'm actually going to be staying, as well as how far away it is from the areas that I have already been to. It turns out that Okazaki is quite spread out, especially considering how densely packed certain areas of Japan are, and getting around there is going to be interesting to say the least. I could rent a bike, but I'm big by even gaijin standards, so finding one that fits is going to be a hassle. Or I could get rollerblades, but I've never seen them worn there, and most of the sidewalks are most likely designed with earthquake prevention in mind - which means they're BUMPY.

Still trying to figure all that out. I do know that I plan to go to Tokyo for approximately three days before classes begin and will probably stay there overnight on my way out of Japan as well, because a direct flight to Nagoya is actually more expensive than taking the Shinkansen from Tokyo, and I'd like to have some time to myself in the big city to get over my jetlag and prepare for the Big Nihongo Immersion Kamehameha homestay blitz. I can't help but be concerned about that.

I mean, what kind of family would volunteer to take on a 27-year-old gaijin doing a study abroad program at Yamasa? What kinds of people are they? Do they expect me to teach their kids English? Will they even have kids? If they do, will those kids be psycho lolis and rockstar wannabes? Are they going to be an older couple who hate gaijin? Will they think I'm crazy? Will they be afraid of me? Will they like me?

I have no idea about any of this stuff, and I'm constantly playing it back in my mind. I sent the university two pictures to aid in homestay matching: one of myself and the girl, and another of myself with my arcade machines. I wanted to send one of my theatre activities, but since I always play a villain character, all the pictures taken of me make me look "scary". *sigh*. I literally have no idea what to expect, and I'm sitting on pins and needles just waiting to receive a profile from Yamasa explaining exactly who my homestay family is. Under normal study abroad programs, I'd most definitely be considered "creepy old", but under this program I'm a spring chicken. This program is actually built with young professionals in mind, which makes it EXTREMELY different from the others I've researched. Which means the homestay families are expecting this. They get to choose which gaijin they house, so the family choosing me would have seen both my profile and my pictures before making that choice.

I guess it doesn't parse in my head. Japanese are typically very reserved, and keep to themselves - ESPECIALLY as far as associating with outsiders is concerned. So the fact that there are not one, not two, but apparently many families in the area willing to house gaijin working on this program is both bizarre and intriguing to me. Yes, they get a stipend. No, it's probably not worth the trouble of having a big, rampaging gaijin taking up a large portion of their living space and nom nom nom nom nomming their food (which is actually part of the contract - two meals daily).

The fact of the matter is, looking at pictures of Okazaki and hearing stories from people who have already gone over, people are not going to be very nice to me on average. They're going to look at me like I came from another world, and even when I'm speaking perfect Japenese to them will probably be subjected to the Gaijin Blackout and not be able to answer me. I need to harden my resolve in order to not be offended by their actions. I have to remember their history and experience with foreigners are (on average) much less than most societies, although it is getting better, and seeing a living, breathing gaijin in areas farther from big cities is very abnormal for a lot of them. So I have to make sure I can take it in stride, and not feel like there's something wrong with me for existing in their space. I'm sure my Gaijin Barrier isn't THAT strong that it would push someone clear across the street. Still, I'm fairly certain that due to this particular town's location, Gaijin Superpowers will be in FULL effect. Well, except for the Gaijin Power. I don't want that one to activate.

Freebies and Health Care

2010-01-20T08:47:00.000-08:00

Waking up this morning and looking at CNN, I found that something very, very interesting happened last night. Scott Brown, a Republican, trounced Martha Coakley (arguably a shoe-in) for the vacant Senate seat formerly occupied by the late Senator Ted Kennedy. As many of you know, this has drastic implications for the direction the country is taking, because Democrats can no longer rely on the filibuster-proof 60 vote majority to steamroll legislation through Congress. This basically all but puts an end to the very progressive- but very broken - health care bill. Which is both fortunate and unfortunate, I think.

At this point I want to take a wait-and-see attitude on Brown. Is he going to be like Lieberman and throw a huge spectacle in order to get the bill changed to something in his favor, or is he going to just kill it outright? Or, perhaps, the focus will shift to another Republican senator who may or may not want the fame associated with sending through a chopped up health care bill for the "sake of the American people"? I think just about anyone in Congress right now could begin stirring the pot and make a "power play" to shape whether this legislation is even passable and what form it will take. The next few weeks are going to be very, very interesting indeed.

To me, as a middle-class fully insured taxpayer, and member of the "young invincibles", here's what I want out of the health care bill:

Modification of contract terms regarding pre-existing conditions (see below )

Caps on what costs insurers can pass on to their customers - an accident or serious illness should not result in a hospital or medical provider to be able to bankrupt someone

Measures in place to cut costs of health care, rather than digging for new funds to pay for it. The reason why medical bankruptcy is such a huge problem is because of our inefficiencies in the health care system, and the ability of providers to charge whatever they like since in most cases, insurance picks up the tab.

Coverage rules in place for only qualified US Citizens.

Methods for increasing competition between insurance companies, and methods to reduce the "conflict of interest" that insurance companies have between their shareholders and policyholders. It is not in their best interest to pay claims - it cuts into their bottom line.

Although young, I had a few incidences where I had to use my insurance and fight tooth-and-nail to get the coverage I paid for. This is unacceptable. I had a $2000 hospital bill for a minor TMJ surgery, which sounds like a lot until you realize that this "simple" procedure (as I was told) cost $12000 total, and insurance picked up the other $10k. It makes me sick to my stomach to think what would have happened if my insurance company said "Ehh. We don't feel like paying for that."

That would have caused serious problems for me. And it happens to people every day. People with heart disease, or cancer. People who get into serious accidents - all things completely out of their control. And yet private insurers deny these types of claims on a daily basis - costing many people their lives.

This gets into a debate on whether health care - and what kind of health care - is a privilege or a right. And I'm not going to go there. What I will say, is that insurance companies should not have a right to accept customers into a policy, collect monthly premiums, and then turn around and cancel their policy when a claim is initiated, citing a "pre-existing condition".

Burden of proof should be on the insurance company at the time the policy is initiated to provide the customer with full disclosure regarding what will or will not be covered by their policy. They should do their "digging" in medical records for these conditions up front, when a person applies for a policy, and their premiums can, and should, affect that "digging" (just like with auto insurance, where lots of accidents equal higher premiums). But they should NOT have the right to sign up a customer, continually collect monthly premiums, and then cancel when it "suits them" - when an expensive claim is filed. In short, they don't look at your history extensively until you get sick, and then they try to find any and all reasons your claim may not be valid. That's not fair.

So this gets back to Brown, and what he may or may not bring to the table. My respect for the current government is pretty much at an all-time low right now. To me, it seems like Republicans represent the corporations and the rich and lobby/pass legislation for them, and the Democrats represent the people that can't support themselves, and pass legislation appropriately. Both parties speak extensively to "support" of the middle class, but it really seems like all hot air from here.

I don't want the government interfering with my daily life. But through unchecked support for the rich and their outsourcing initiatives, the Republicans have affected my job security. And through unchecked support for those too lazy to take care of themselves, or got here illegally, my taxes and health care bills are through the roof. People like me are getting squeezed on both sides.

All of these "Obama money" programs? Stimulus? Back To School Funding?
The only one most middle class citizens qualify for is Cash For Clunkers. And we all saw what happened there. Now when half of these people lose their jobs due to the corporate overlords outsourcing more work to India and China, who's going to pay those car bills? Where are those cars going to end up? Exactly where they started - killing our domestic auto industry. We don't need handouts. We need actual reform. We need a system of checks and balances. Throwing money at these problems won't solve them. Look at the banks, and their multimillion dollar bonuses aimed at retaining "talent". Honestly the only real reform I agree with in that damn stimulus was increasing unemployment benefits and reducing COBRA costs. That WAS an initiative aimed at the middle class, enabling them to support themselves while picking themselves up and trying to reenter the workforce.

Politics is a touchy subject for me, because EVERYONE IS WRONG. There is no one supporting us. They need our moneys to fund initiatives to the two groups of people who actually benefit from government. Those that have the sway to stay on top, and those at the bottom continue to sit on their butts and collect at our expense.

Washington is out for no one but themselves. And we're the ones paying.

Miscellaneous ramblings...

2010-01-16T22:40:00.001-08:00

I have quite a bit to talk about today, as I just received word that in a few months I will be studying intensive Japanese conversation at a university in Okazaki, Japan. It will be my chance to live in a Japanese home for four weeks - total immersion - and explore the Kansai region of Japan. This is something I've always wanted to do, and I'm very grateful that my boss, his boss, and the Big Boss all granted their approval to let me go on leave. This is going to be the longest few months of my life.

Stay tuned to this blog, as I will be posting A LOT of content here during the trip, which gets underway towards the end of May...

Now, on to the main portion of this entry, and the part which is most likely going to get me in trouble...

First of all, I've been trying really, really hard to keep my mouth shut on this. I've had time to stew on this over the last few days, and I honestly just can't take it anymore. It's been bothering me so much that even though I'm guessing that it's going to impact a couple of the few friendships I currently have right now, I have to say it.

And, like most drama in today's world, it all began with a facebook comment.

My girlfriend drew my attention to something on the news. Apparently, a televangelist named Pat Robertson had the NERVE to blame Haiti's earthquake on a "deal with the devil" (upon further research, the practice of voodoo) which apparently had some sort of effect in kicking out the French and turning the "prosperous" former colony into one of the poorest nations on Earth.

I bristled at this, and left a comment stating my distaste at the far right side of the political spectrum. But, then again, televangelists say a lot of things to keep their followers in check, and even crazier things to get interviews with the media. There are even bigger wacko preachers (like Fred Phelps) out there who say and do things that are a whole lot worse, but the media tends to avoid those guys a bit more than moderate crazies like Robertson.

So there were some comments going back and forth on the story, and we were all getting a pretty good laugh out of the whole thing until ... someone defended the story.

Before I go any further on this, I have to say one thing. The people that defended the validity of Haiti's earthquake possibly being caused by that "voodoo" magic on facebook, at least as far as my friends are concerned, are some of the kindest, most down-to-earth folks I have ever met in my life. Period. They are very religious, but they truly practice what they preach in all walks of life. It is a pleasure to know them, and to be friends with them. If they needed anything, I would most certainly do whatever I could to help them out. And despite our differences in beliefs, they are completely accepting of me. I have a tremendous amount of respect for them.

I guess that's why I'm so disappointed, and maybe even a little disgusted. Not with the people, but with the lack of logic used for deciding one's beliefs on this particular issue.

One of the truly great things about living in this country is to be able to believe in anything you wish, or to not believe at all. I am not disappointed that they choose to believe. I am disappointed that they choose to listen to these kinds of statements, turn blinders on, and not pass them through logic filters which I know to be present in their minds - because they are so logical, and intelligent - brilliant even - on other matters...but when it comes to this kind stuff, anything's fair game.

God's punishing Haiti. He punished New Orleans for Mardi Gras, too... too much debauchery...

So, following that train of logic... where, may I ask, was God during World War II? Was he siding with the Germans? Obviously not, since they lost - badly - but those Jews being oppressed sure could have used a natural disaster or two to break down Nazi order and close those concentration camps. And he definitely wasn't siding with the Japanese - they are by nature polytheistic and do not have Puritan sets of morals (although he did let them bomb Pearl Harbor and kill a few thousand Americans, and many thousands more at the Battle of Okinawa later on - perhaps they were all nonreligious?). Maybe that's why he gave us the A-bomb. God really must have had a beef with Japan.

I could go on, but my point is... God punishing Haiti makes just about as much sense as the situations I listed above. I'm not trying to be spiteful or insulting here, although I may come across as a bit sarcastic... I know that an answer to this (and admittedly one that I can't really debate) is: "God works in mysterious ways, and that he has a reason for doing what he does". That may be so, but what goes on in today's world completely contradicts anything the Bible talked about - in terms of God's involvement in events around the world, I mean. People look for that meaning now...try to find it, search for it. There's no voice from the sky.

I still like the people I'm discussing here. I still respect them. I hope I can still be friends with them. I'm just disappointed.

I was religious at one point - Roman Catholic, to be exact. I went to Sunday school every week, church every Sunday, and my first "solo" act on stage was actually reading a portion of the Nativity story to a Christmas Eve mass in Huntsville, Alabama in 1992. I lost my faith when I began being bullied mercilessly in school after moving to Naperville, and began focusing more on science, which suddenly made the world around me (which admittedly wasn't THAT bad - especially when compared to something like what happened in Haiti, but it was torturous for me) make much more sense. There was nobody "looking out for me". It was me, just me. That's it. I had to take care of myself. And I've lived that way since then.

I get scared sometimes living in red country. People, for the most part, are very nice. Almost too nice, particularly the religious folks. I always wonder how much their attitudes overall would change once you are "exposed" as not "one of them" (i.e. athiest, agnostic, gay, Muslim, etc...). But these folks were, and are, different. I actually went to church a few times here in Minnesota, but was immediately disgusted when the pastor went on a 5 minute rant about how homosexuals are evil and will go to hell. The fact everyone was so kind to me before and after the service made me want to puke. I mean, I can only imagine how I would have felt if I was a homosexual.

I guess I'm just disappointed. And this note may cause issues with friendships, but I really don't care anymore at this point. It's just too much.

Please, please do not say that the people of Haiti deserved what happened to them. I don't care who the fuck you are, or how many followers you have. You have absolutely no right.

Crystal Bearers: Two Hours In...

2009-12-30T21:47:00.001-08:00

So I am currently two hours into Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers, and although I'm not completely blown away, I am pleasantly surprised. I think a lot of the negative press the game has gotten has been due to unrealistic (and incorrect) expectations about how the game would actually play.

We knew from early announcements that FFCC: TCB was going to be a single player story-driven game, but S-E never stated that it would be a traditional RPG. In fact, we were kept in the dark completely up until the game was due to be released. Upon release in Japan, it got decent (but not great) reviews, with complaints lodged mostly at the controls.

Reviewers here in the States have blasted it as a minigame collection in disguise, which I believe is an unfair assessment. Basically, here's what you have in this psuedo-action-RPG-casual-hybrid game:

* Graphics with a wonderful Square-Enix art style and technology/effects that hold up against some of their later PS2 releases. Sadly, this is a HUGE compliment when you compare the graphics of this game against Chocobo's Dungeon and Dragon Quest Swords. Against Nintendo's finest, the graphics are still competent. Let's see more of this on Wii.

* Varied gameplay. Within the first 2 hours I've had no less than 5 minigames with different sets of controls. Admittedly some are more fun than others. This game was most certainly aimed at Final Fantasy n00bz that may or may not be familiar with the series. They try to use the Wiimote in many different ways, and not all of them work well.

* Battles themselves are...interesting. Those who have played Dawn of Mana will feel at home here, since all battles revolve around grabbing stuff and hurling it at enemies. Because you have to control the camera manually and you can't lock onto enemies while you're holding an object, this creates some serious problems with more difficult battles.

* The physics engine, however, leaves a bit to be desired. Dawn of Mana used HAVOK, which gave objects a sense of weight and mass. All objects in FFCC:TCB react the same when tossed around, which is disappointing. There was a lot of potential here for physics hijinks that is totally unrealized.

* The story is action-packed and there's an open world and tons of sidequests to undertake. I'm just afraid of running up against a minigame or battle that just proves too unfairly frustrating with the controls...

So, overall, not bad. I wouldn't have paid $50 for it, but it's definitely a decent rental. A step in the right direction for S-E development on Wii. Not great - but not terrible either.

If I compare this game against Nintendo's first-party lineup, it holds up graphically but falters with the use of the Wiimote - which is passable but definitely not intuitive and can also be unresponsive at times.

Lucky [FF] 13...

2009-12-18T11:13:00.001-08:00

FFXIII's first day sales numbers are in, and they are unsurprisingly limit-breaking.

Over 1 million people bought the game. In other words, 1 out of every 120 people IN THE ENTIRE NATION OF JAPAN went out and bought the game. For 8300 Yen ($90+). On the FIRST DAY of release. With an installed base of slightly over 4 million, that means one out of every four PS3 owners came out for the festivities and returned home with a copy of FFXIII.

What is more surprising, however, is the lack of PS3 shortages and the lack of Lightning Bundle shortages. Apparently over 100,000 Lightning Bundles were sold - but compared to the massive amount of games sold separately, that's a drop in the bucket. I actually expected the game to move more PS3s on the first day of release, and significantly so. The PlayStation 1 didn't have a strong presence in Japan prior to FFVII launching, and immediately afterwards became THE console to own.

This gaming market is a bit more complicated these days than it was back then, particularly in Japan. In Japan, although the PS3 installed base is 75% larger than the 360's installed base, it's still comparatively tiny compared to the installed base of EITHER console in the States and in Europe. Going to Akihabara and trying to find new HD games to buy for either console is a sad, sad affair - most of the shelves filled with either localized Western ports or crappy text-based adventure games. It seems that most Japanese developers are terrified of making games for either HD console, and I had (and still have) high hopes for Final Fantasy XIII to turn that around, even if it did prop up the PS3 as the worldwide first-choice console for Japanese software.

Like most problems these days, I blame the economy.

I already ranted about this last time, but the fact that the majority of well-known series dropping to portables for sequels is an alarming trend. Everything from fighting games to RPGs - both genres that are arguably the LEAST comfortable to play on portable systems - are making the jump. Japanese companies, most of them anyway, remain convinced that the portable market (PSP and DSi ) is the only way to guarantee profit from a release, and as such the big-budget franchises are taking huge risks by changing platform. Don't believe for a second that there wasn't a bunch of Japanese nerd rage when Dragon Quest IX was announced as a DS exclusive. That didn't stop half the country of Japan from buying it, with some people buying multiple copies to have more than one save slot (sadly, the creator of the game actually suggested this in an interview as a solution for the lack of multiple slots).

The lack of Lightning Bundle shortages in Japan ties into marketing. The import shops around the world sent out emails last week stating that the stock was less than expected, and hiked the price of the bundles to a cool $800. For something retailing for less than $400 in Japan proper. The funniest part: nobody EVER said this was a LIMITED edition. And actually it would be a bad move to make it a limited edition, because that would make less people able to buy the game/PS3 bundle, the availability of which is a win-win for Sony and Square Enix. The import shops are certainly taking advantage of the "oversight" and are riding the hype wave. The speed of XIII's localization speaks volumes not only on the new significance of the Western market in terms of console penetration compared to portables, but also of the importance of this title for Square Enix, a company notorious for treating its overseas customers like second-class citizens.

Put simply: we like our portables in the West, but they are NOT a valid replacement for console gaming. And we like our HD games. Final Fantasy XIII is going to do well not only as a FF game, but as a top-tier HD JP console game. There aren't many on the market right now, particularly for the PS3. "MAKE IT RAINNNNNNNNN!"

Another surprising news article that came out over the last few days... "core" game sales are up, and "casual" game sales are down. Some people argue that the "industry darling of the moment" soccer moms and grandmas are moving on past the Wii fad. I say it's more of a difference in how they play games. For us core gamers, gaming is a part of our daily lives. For most people, the Wii won't be used except for special occasions, like board games for example. The 'Fit' line of stuff is a trap, but it's a trap that sells really, really well and gives the casuals an excuse to use their wii more often (before they get lazy and let the Wii Balance Board gather dust in the closet).

All I have to say to game companies: "Remember who's going to keep you in business when the casuals lose interest. Better start learning how to please both audiences at once."

I wanted to come up with a funny personification with the video game industry playing the part of a ditzy high school girl trying to choose between the shallow jock (casual) and her plainer, but more loyal, best friend (core). I just don't have the creativity at the moment to make that happen...

Cheater, Cheater, Sushi Eater!!!

2009-12-06T23:05:00.000-08:00

So, for those that were wondering what happened to us this weekend, we made a brief trip to Chicago. The reasoning was twofold:

1.) Celebrate Christmas early with my immediate family and grandparents (freeing Christmas Eve up for the significant other's family), and...

2.) Take the JLPT.

What's the JLPT? JLPT stands for Japanese Language Proficiency Test, the passing of which may assist with overseas assignments down the line. I signed up for Level 3 - basic conversational level, but after finding some sample tests online I found that studying my textbooks from college - even 300 level ones - left me grossly underprepared. So I hit the books hard this week, after returning from Japan I spent a good deal of time both during the day and at night devoted to reviewing grammar points and learning Kanji.

I studied so much that aside from a brief dinner with my best buddy and a brief visit with my grandparents, the vast majority of my time was spent exiled in a room away from my parents and girlfriend, building up my J-vocabulary. I really, really wanted to pass this thing, and found myself more and more nervous as the test approached.

So finally Sunday - the day of the test - comes. My parents drive me down into ghetto Lincoln Park (not to be confused with the angsty punk rock band with the different spelling) to take the test. There was a big sign for the JLPT on the outside of the building, so the location was fairly obvious. Once inside, I spent a little bit of time chatting with another Level 3 examinee and his girlfriend, who both drove up from southern Indiana to take the test. Like myself, they lamented the fact that Chicago is the only midwest test site - it was either drive to Chicago or fly out to San Fran, Seattle, New York, DC, or Atlanta. Since I have family in Chicago it really wasn't a big deal...but still. In any case, he was just as nervous as I was. We went up to our separate rooms for the exam and took our seats. Each room had two proctors: One that knew no Japanese, and a fluent speaker to answer questions (like they'd tell you anything anyways).

So the test starts - Vocab and Kanji was the first part. I started into the test and marked a few answers before noticing unusual movement. I looked up, and the guy in the row in front of me and to my right had placed (what appeared to be) a CHEAT SHEET LOADED WITH KANJI on the floor in front of him. I wasn't close enough to see exactly what was on it, but it appeared to me that he had written a bunch of information on the back of his test voucher/admission ticket. The proctor, completely oblivious continued to sit and look over something completely unrelated to the test. I couldn't have been the only one to see this.

Now normally, if I was in a college class - or a test with a bell curve where it would have actually mattered to have someone gaining an unfair advantage against me - I would have totally reported this guy right away, but I figured it was pointless. First of all, reporting him would cost ME a couple of minutes of test time on this first section - and secondly, getting him kicked out does nothing for my score. Everyone is graded individually and the score to pass is an even 60%. So really, I had nothing to gain by reporting Mr. Kanji Voucher Ninja.

After the first section of the test ends, he appears to scribble more stuff down on his cheat sheet, this time on the front - yep, it was his entrance voucher. Still too far away to see exactly what he was doing, but it was definitely not kosher. In any case, the next part of the test was the Listening portion, and I was hoping it would go better than the previous section - during which I was both distracted and also confused about a few of the questions.

Luckily, last week's vacation in Tokyo listening to tons of real-life speakers going super-speed turbocharged my Nihongo listening skills. I was a Super Saiyan 4 comprehension wizard, and probably only missed a question or two on that entire section. Mr. Ninja was still writing away on his voucher, probably preparing some hints for the next section of the test. I still couldn't believe neither the English nor Japanese proctor could see this guy. He was in the FRONT ROW. And his cheat sheet was placed diagonally in front of him where he could look at it. I mean, COME ON.

The Grammar section was the hardest part of the sample tests, and the real thing was no different. Yet again, down goes the voucher, in plain view of both proctors. Yet again, nobody notices. I plow through, hopefully getting enough answers I need in order to be certified. They collect the test booklets and the test sheets, and tell us it's OK to leave... when one of the proctors goes to the door and proceeds to request all our entry vouchers. HAHAHAHA...busted. So I gather my stuff and head to the door - and who should be in front of me but Voucher Ninja himself, completely oblivious as he hands over his cheat sheet - which I could now plainly see was loaded with test material. Unbelievable. The proctor, shocked, told him he'd have to stay behind, and let the rest of us go. Since my parents were waiting outside the building to pick me up from the test site, I couldn't stay to watch the carnage. But I'm fairly sure he got his entire test voided and wasted an entire afternoon. 残念ですね。

I'm not sure I passed - there seemed to be a lot of tricks, but I know I got a lot of questions right as well. In any case, I'm glad Mr. Kanji Voucher Ninja got what was coming to him...

Aria 4: Wishing

2009-11-26T16:02:00.000-08:00

We had decided the previous day that today we would end up going to Tokyo DisneySea, but I had an errand to take care of first...obtaining Mushihimesama Futari for the XBOX 360. This game is the first CAVE developed shooter that was deliberately deprived of its region lock in order to gauge popularity of its titles in the US and Europe - apparently a lot of people in the West made noise on the internet after DeathSmiles was released with NTSC-J region lock intact. This change of policy is a big deal, so I wanted to make sure I grabbed a copy of Mushihimesama while I was here. Plus, I really wanted to be able to play through the game without having to worry about being bled dry of my yen by the difficult bullet patterns in the later stages.

We started walking towards Shinjuku station at around 8:30AM JST. The stores around there don't open until 9:30 or later - and to my dismay we arrived at the shopping area around the station at around 9:00. No problem - we grabbed some delicious curry udon and cold soba from a restaurant down the street and by the time we were finished, Yodobashi Camera was open for business. I got in, got the game, and then got out. Then we headed to Shinjuku station for the journey to Tokyo Disney Resort.

The journey to the resort required changing trains at Tokyo station, which went smoothly. The entire trip out there cost us 320 yen each, which wasn't too bad. It was about 20 minutes from downtown Tokyo out to the resort in Maihama. Getting off the train was like stepping into a bizarro version of Orlando, Florida. We exited the station (which was all decked out in Disney decor) and headed to the monorail, only to find - much to our dismay - the same yen-eating ticket machines that guard the entrance to every other train in the country of Japan. "Wait," I said to Lisa, who was about to swipe her card in the machine, "this can't be right. They can't CHARGE to use the monorail..." After some looking at the signs, all of which were conveniently not in English, it became clear to me. Oh yeah, they were charging to use the monorail. 250 yen a pop, in fact, unless you wanted to buy a "commuter pass" and ride as much as you want for 650 yen. Keep in mind that, as I said above, it cost us 320 yen each to ride the trains 25 km+ to Disney, but to ride a monorail that's 3-4 km long at most, it costs 250 yen?!

I thought, "Fuck this, we're walking". So we walked. For about 10 minutes. And found Tokyo Disneyland without incident. But...DisneySea, the park we actually wanted to go to, appeared to be out of reach for us without having to fork over the yen to ride the monorail. What a scam.

So we went back, paid our yen, got on the monorail and rode to DisneySea. First of all, something about the Tokyo Disney Resort. They have it set up so that if you want to visit both Disneyland and DisneySea, you can't do it on the same day with a 2-day pass! You have to choose one day for one park, and one day for the other park. In order to get around this, you have to buy 3+ day passes (or pay for single-day passports to each park, at 5800 yen a pop). My theory is this is to prevent overcrowding in both parks due to day travelers coming from Tokyo, but it also probably generates massive amounts of revenue from the people that absolutely must see both parks in one day, and honestly - there really isn't enough to do at either park to warrant a full day on its own. Fortunately, that particular "gotcha" didn't apply to us, as we were ONLY there for DisneySea.

So we entered the park, and immediately something struck me as bizarre. We were definitely in a Disney park, but - this being Japan - all the signs were in Japanese, and unlike Epcot - where the different "worlds" had cast members from each country represented in the park - there wasn't anything like that here. Everyone was Japanese. Which was fine - it was relatively amusing to see our two "Italian" hosts try to teach us hello and goodbye in Italian when the pronunciation is warped by Japan... "Aribedeiruchii".

But then we hit the "American Waterfront" world in the park, and it suddenly went from weird to weirder. They were putting on this cheesy show in the center of the park, and suddenly Mickey Mouse comes out and starts speaking perfect Japanese ... but HE SOUNDS LIKE MICKEY MOUSE. It was really strange. Then he started dancing to Madonna, which was still all in English. I swear, guys, I can't make this stuff up. I guess this is how the Japanese feel when playing through the International versions of Kingdom Hearts.

Speaking of Kingdom Hearts, just a few minutes walk away from that cheesy musical review, we found it. Tetsuya Nomura's inspiration for the favorite snack of the residents of Twilight Town... Sea Salt Ice Cream!!! Now before you say "Ewwww", keep in mind that this delicious treat merely consisted of vanilla ice cream with a little bit of additional sea salt added. So it tasted sweet, but salty at the same time. And it was really good. It's kind of a shame though, it didn't look like I thought it would have... In Kingdom Hearts, the ice cream was shown as bright blue popsicles. IRL, it's just a dish of vanilla colored ice cream. Disney needs to correct this and serve Sea Salt Ice Cream the way it was meant to be served: as a bright blue popsicle that will send the Roxas and Axel cosplayers coming in droves...

Anyways, after that we rode Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull - which was one of the best rides I've been on in a long time and definitely the best movie-based one I've ever seen, bar none. It was worth the agonizing hour long wait as we saw people who purchased "Fast Pass" tickets outside the ride (yet another Tokyo Disney money grab) skipping merrily past us towards the front of the line. But it was worth it. They stick you in a huge ATV that can hold about 16 people, and send you racing through the temple - with special effects and crazy sights happening at every turn. The track itself had some hills but was mostly flat. The ATV generated all the twists and bumps on its own, culminating with a slight drop occurring just as a boulder rolling forward was about to hit us. Honestly I wish I would have ridden twice - it was that good.

After a couple more hours of exploration - and trying out a few more of Tokyo Disney's culinary treats, we headed back to the gateway to the resort, and attempted to get dinner at one of the restaurants outside. But all the restaurants had the added "Disney Tax", charging upwards of 2000 yen for a single entree, except for one little katsu place called Trail and Track near the corner of Ikspiari. I had reservations about this place, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try it out. We were seated, most of the restaurant staff could speak decent English, and I felt completely at ease in a restaurant for the first time in a while. But my danger sense started tingling when they asked me whether I wanted "rice or bread" with my chicken katsu. BREAD?! With KATSU?! Uh oh....

Sure enough. I get the plate of katsu, which was drenched in something that certainly wasn't katsu sauce. The sauce tasted like Chef Boyardee Spaghetti-o's sauce. Yuck. Then there was the side of potato salad (WHY?!) and the nappa cabbage, which would have been great if they didn't coat it in an American style mayo-based dressing. Barf... Worst. Meal. Ever. Lisa didn't seem to mind it as much, and this restaurant did in fact serve pretty decent freshly made diner-style cream sodas, so it wasn't a total loss.

After eating dinner, the entire Ikspiari mall was lit up, and the Wishing Tree illuminated as a teenage girl rang the Wishing Bell. For a brief second - just a second mind you - I felt what may have been a sparkle of the magic of Christmas, even as commercialized as it has become. We then returned to Shinjuku, played some Death Smiles II (with villain Satan Claus) at the local game center, had some desserts at what could best be called a Japanese Denny's, and went to bed early. I thought I was catching a cold, because I had a very difficult time getting to sleep and my throat was sore.

Aria 3: Matsuri

2009-11-25T02:41:00.000-08:00

The early crashing was a bad idea. Between the nervousness about my presentation and the slight (but not overbearing) presence of jet lag, I was wide awake once again at 4AM. Although Tokyo is the TRUE "city that never sleeps" the fact of the matter is there really isn't that much to do that early. So we ended up watching "Good Choice" (a.k.a. News with Penguins) yet again, and then ventured out around 7AM to pick up some bento boxes for breakfast. I wanted to try Royal Host, but we decided it was probably best to avoid hotel prices for subpar Western-style breakfast. After picking up the bentos at a 24 hour place and returning the hotel, both of us ended up asleep. Fortunately I set the alarm clock ahead of time, so I wasn't late for my meeting.

I woke up in time, showered, got dressed and was out the door by 10AM for a 12PM meeting. I was very worried the subway system would be confusing and I'd end up getting lost - but, on the contrary, the subways are actually easier to use than a lot of the trains in Tokyo. I arrived in Hakozaki roughly 45 minutes early, and got a few brief moments of solitude that reminded me of my first trip to Japan. IBM Hakozaki is located right next to a small park with a fountain, trees, and some benches - a perfect place to relax or take a walk before the meeting, and I sat for a few minutes taking in the sights and sounds of a busy Tokyo morning. I had originally planned to go get a coffee to kill some time, but I didn't really need to. The air was pleasant, the park wasn't busy, and I had a few moments away from the chaos of central Shinjuku - time to gather my thoughts in preparation for my presentation.

I won't discuss the presentation much, except to say that I got all the answers I wanted and made some more connections with folks here in Japan - which is exactly what I wanted to do. I showed the team a picture of my basement, so now they all think I'm a game otaku. But I have a girlfriend, and friends, and a social life ... so that isn't possible (in the traditional sense of "otaku"). In any case, I did find out a few interesting things about how our IBM colleagues in Japan work...

1.) You think your cube lacks privacy? Try sitting at a long table, with a spot for your laptop and a few books - with coworkers on each side, no walls separating you. It kind of amazed me that in a culture where everyone is supposed to be heads-down in their work, the environment seemed very open - albeit a bit cramped. I suppose I was expecting cubicles out of Equilibrium or 1984, all looking the same, stretching for miles, with no personality whatsoever. Nintendo of America also had a similar setup with their cubicles, so this isn't the first time I've seen an environment like this.

2.) Their caf is light years ahead of Rochester. Most of the food items are Japanese (sorry Dave and Chad), but there was a large variety, everything appeared to be prepared fresh, and it was (comparatively) quite cheap. They also offered free cold or hot tea with each meal, and had two types of cafeteria: one caf of the traditional sense (like what we have), and one where you sit down and they bring you the food restaurant style. We're really missing out here!

3.) Everyone dresses up. No sandals and T-Shirts for IBM Japan. Suits are the norm, and at the very least you want a shirt and tie. Though I was told that khakis and a collared shirt would have been fine, showing up in that attire would have made me feel incredibly underdressed.

After returning to Shinjuku via the subway, we went to Hanazono Shrine to check out the festival going on. For those unfamiliar with a typical Japanese matsuri, think Minnesota State Fair - but take away the cows and wild rice and replace them with with yakitori and other Japanese foods. They did have fried stuff on a stick, fried chicken a.k.a. Kara-Age. But most of the other finger foods they served were not fried. There was yakitori (chicken skewers), candied bananas, several types of Japanese pastries, yakisoba noodles, squid skewers, and a lot more.

We then headed towards Nakano Broadway, in hopes of locating some fighting game posters for the basement. Our search ended up empty, but Lisa did find a couple pairs of knee-high Japanese socks that fit her. She was a little upset that she couldn't figure out the size and wanted me to ask, but that store was packed full of Japanese women that gave me strange looks or ran away every time I took a step into one of the aisles - not to mention my Japanese regarding women's clothes sizes is nonexistent.

So we went to Nakano Broadway, and all we got were two pairs of socks...

Aria 2: Changes

2009-11-24T04:18:00.001-08:00

Waking up to our first real day in Japan, the first order of business was to get our bearings. The fact we were staying at a different hotel than last time, and the fact that half the signs on the restaurants in the area were Korean was more than enough to make me a bit nervous. So we walked around Korea Town for a bit, and noticed that it had to be garbage day, because every business had bags and bags of garbage piled up on the side of the road. Giant crows were pillaging the garbage, and there were quite a few homeless people (some of which seemed to have swine flu or something from the amount of coughing and wheezing that came from them). We grabbed breakfast at a Yoshinoya and went vending machine window shopping for drinks. I was really uncomfortable in this filthy area - it went against everything I knew of Tokyo thus far. It was run down, dirty, and sparsely populated (although that changes later in the day), and I really never felt comfortable there. Something about the whole place just felt...uneasy.

We found some Pepsi NEX again - delicious - and then went back to the hotel. Eventually, we ended up in Akihabara with Travis, where (with Lisa's permission) I took him to... THE MAID CAFE! This was the same one I went to last year, so I knew exactly what to expect. They gave us an English speaking maid, and we each ordered one item on the menu. I helped with communication when the Japanese-only maids would come over and talk to us. The food we ordered wasn't bad (two parfaits and an iced coffee), but obviously overpriced and the 700 yen "sitting fee" really didn't help much either.

Those of you familiar with Otaku culture might find this interesting. I asked the maid in Japanese to explain to Travis the concept of "Moe" in Japanese. She refused, saying "meaning is difficult in English". We explained it after the fact, although I'm still admittedly a little confused on it myself. There doesn't seem to be sexual connotations to moe, but it's not entirely innocent either. Kittens are apparently not considered to be moe, but catgirls are. So yeah, I don't quite understand...

On the streets of Akihabara, which were shockingly busy for an average Monday, there was a group from Cave holding a playable demo of Mushihimesama Futari, which comes out on Thursday. They had promotional posters there while they were setting up, and I asked if I could have one - but they said no. It turns out they needed them to tape all around the demo table, apparently. They did end up giving out some swag (a plastic Mushihime fan) but by the time they started the demo there was already a line 15 people deep to play it, and all of them looked like they knew what they were doing, so I decided not to wait in line.

Instead, we went to Akihabara HEY, where I tried out - for the very first time - BlazBlue: Continuum Shift. Now, of course, since the game just came out last week, every machine was booked on at least one side, so I had to challenge someone. I picked the easiest looking opponent and sat down to play, selecting the character I have the most experience with, Jin Kisaragi.

Big mistake.

Continuum Shift has changed the way Jin plays - completely. The Ice Car no longer travels across the screen and is only useful now as a combo tool. jB doesn't combo as well either, although 6C -> 5C -> jB -> -> C -> uC -> 5D still works (though it does look different). I didn't get a chance to combo much, because none of my moves were behaving as I expected, and so I got Nihonjin smashed right off the machine by a below-average Carl player. The fact he was playing Carl only added insult to injury. Japan - 1, Gaijin - 0.

And if you didn't understand any of the above paragraph, don't worry, it doesn't apply to you anyways. :-)

I did a little more window shopping and eventually ended up at another arcade with Continuum Shift, where I managed to knock someone playing Haku-Men off the game. I was floored by my combo-filled performance with Jin, although I still tried to Ice Car across the screen due to force of habit and usually ended up eating a combo for my negligence. Regardless, I won. Japan - 1, Gaijin - 1. "Now," I thought, "I can finally get some practice with the new mechanics of the game by beating up on some stupid computer opponents." HAH! Not in Tokyo, my friends. Not in Tokyo.

For those unfamiliar with the habits of your average Tokyo arcade-goer, they behave like this. When you see someone not playing against a human opponent, they are more often than not just toying with the computer. Either they aren't picking the character they are most experienced with, or simply playing through the game without really trying. So you hop on, and you trounce them. Normally, in an American arcade, getting trounced so handily is usually enough to make the trouncee get up and leave the game, fearful of losing any more money or ego. But not Nihonjin. Oh no. These guys are hardcore. If you beat one, they will wait about 30 seconds and then - like clockwork - immediately challenge you again. (Remember, in Japan, you can't see your opponent since the machines are back-to-back). When this happens, you are screwed. In that 30 seconds of time before the 100 yen coin hit the machine, your opponent was doing his best Son Goku impersonation, powering up and unleashing his latent Nihonjin Powers of Destruction (tm). When that second game begins, you will be fighting a completely different beast...and you will not come out of that match with a victory. Guaranteed.

And that's what happened this time as well. After trouncing Haku-men and noticing the person at the machine behind me failing to get up, 30 seconds into the match against the CPU I get pulled into a versus match against...a CARL. Another Carl. Who handily gave me my ass on a silver platter to the tune of an almost double-perfect. That puppet was moving so fast across the screen I could do nothing, and that stupid clap trap had me beat before I even started my offense. Japan - 2, Gaijin - 1.

There were a few more things that happened - we found a way to walk to Shinjuku station without going to Shin Okubo, we found a festival serving street food at Hanazono Shrine in Shinjuku, we found a beautiful Christmas lights display that was actually pretty amazing, and I ended up wanting to crash early because of the presentation the next day, which wasn't a universally well-received decision. I think I've rambled on enough for now. More interesting stuff to come.

Aria 1: "EXACTLY like last time...."

2009-11-22T03:01:00.000-08:00

This trip started out promising enough, until we get on the plane. I had camped the seat reservations for days in advance, trying to secure a seat with at least a little more leg room. Alas, everything was gone save for one "exit row" seat on the right side of the plane. Now, common sense should have told me that there must be a reason why that "exit row" seat was left unbooked, even though NWA was charging $50 more for it as part of its "coach choice" program. So I assume I'm getting some sort of an exit row seat. Only...not. They consider the first row behind the actual exit row as "exit row seats". Great. So I ended up with a $50 seat that's the same as any other seat, except I'm directly in front of the exit row, which means maybe, just maybe, there's a chance that on THIS 13 hour flight, I won't have someone reclining into my lap.

Of course, that would have been too easy, right?

Lo and behold, here comes Douchie McDouchebag 2.0, all 350+ pounds of him, wearing a Kansas City football cap, with his small Japanese wife half his age in tow. He lets out a hacking cough, glares at the seat in front of me, turns around and flies into the seat with the force of an anvil, causing my knees to pound against the "cloth" that makes up the seat. HE HAS THE FUCKING EXIT ROW AND YET HE HAS TO RECLINE ALL THE WAY BACK?! And this continued, for the next 13 hours. Oh, and if that wasn't enough, he was farting. He was blasting me and the other people behind him with an array of Silent But Deadly's following every single time the bastard was served a meal. Fortunately this time I skipped the food, so I didn't end up feeling as sick or bloated as I usually do after a cross-continental flight, but that was a small comfort after all the discomfort I went through.

Seriously. If you see the hat at the top of my entry in front of you on a future Japan flight, get out of that seat. I mean it. No matter what it takes, don't sit behind him.

And then we landed. I thought the troubles were over, but no. See, I wanted to stay at the same hotel as last time, because it was a really nice hotel. The internet wasn't cooperating, so I settled for a hotel "10 minutes walk" from one of the train stations. Yeah, right. 10 minutes, my ass. With luggage in tow, it took us more like 30, and now with both of us sore and tired as hell.
In fact, Lisa is snoring over there, I think I'll be joining her shortly...

三番目の東京旅行始めましょう！

2009-11-20T13:35:00.000-08:00

Here we go again. Third time's the charm?

Let's see...

Plans on deck:

Tokyo DisneySea

Akihabara, of course

A presentation at IBM Japan

Soba deliciousness at the birthplace of this wonderful noodle

Namjatown/Ikebukuro

NINJA Akasaka (we HAVE to do this)

Maid Cafe shenanigans with another friend from IBM

Another 13 hour plane ride...................... *grumble*

In the words of a certain well-known Italian plumber: "HERE WE GO!"

Potent Portables

2009-11-16T13:22:00.000-08:00

Earlier this year during my trip to Japan, and again during this year's holiday shopping season, I've come to a realization: console games are dead.

That's an overstatement, of course. But more accurately, the kinds of games I used to enjoy from Japanese developers on console have migrated to portables. Though portable systems most certainly have their place, this is a distressing move. Not only does it imply that the Japanese console market is weak, but it also squeezes modern sequels and new IP (such as Dragon Quest IX, Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, Valkyria Chronicles II, Dissidia) onto last gen (or worse) hardware. The way I see it, the current-gen consoles (the 360 and PS3) have three distinct advantages when compared against the portables.

1.) Graphics/processing power

Next-gen graphics capabilities are a no-brainer. But the bigger innovation (other than more "shiny") is that the extra processing power the consoles provide can be used in other, more creative ways to generate new kinds of gaming experiences - no goofy controller required. Many more characters on the screen, better AI, and more.

2.) Online integration

Especially in the case of the 360, there are so many things you can do by integrating online experiences into your titles. Everything from typical multiplayer games, to co-op modes, to interesting interactions with other players (like in Demon's Souls). The portables are doing some experiments with this as well - and in some ways are better equipped than the consoles for these kinds of interactions. But more often than not these opportunities get squandered. Most games that could use online integration never get it.

3.) Experience/comfort

This is the big one. This is why I'm so mad at the Japanese developers. I love Japanese RPGs. I love playing them for hours, leveling up characters and participating in an incredibly involved storyline full of twists and turns set to an orchesteral soundtrack. What I don't love is playing a Japanese RPG squinting at a 2'' screen, its orchestral soundtrack muffled by the tiny speakers of my DS Lite. If Japanese developers are going for immersion, the absolute worst thing they can do is develop a big-budget RPG on a portable platform. I'm really looking forward to Birth By Sleep - but it's so uncomfortable to play my PSP for any length of time that I probably won't end up finishing it. A shame.

Alas, all three of these advantages are no match for the cost of development. To a Japanese developer, spending $5 million to develop a PSP title for a fairly large userbase is MUCH more lucrative than spending $30 million for a 360/PS3 (or even multiplatform) title that stands to return a fraction of the sales of the portable titles. What this leads to is an incredibly vapid software selection for the consoles - particularly in Japanese games. It broke my heart to be walking through stores in Akihabara and looking through the PS3 library - more than 2/3 of the games being offered for sale were from American and European developers. Again, this isn't the 360 displays I'm talking about here - there were actually MORE Japanese-made games for sale on 360 (yeah, I don't get it either).

In every past generation, the Japanese game development industry has dictated the pace and platforms that made the industry more successful. Yoichi Wada of Square Enix was recently quoted in an interview as saying how a one-console market (i.e. one "winning" console) is ideal for Square Enix. Unsurprising to say the least, considering the publisher was probably less than happy at the prospect of having to develop a version of Final Fantasy XIII that will run on Xbox 360 for the North American and European markets. If it were up to Wada, the marketplace would have welcomed the PS3 with open arms as the PS2's de-facto replacement as "the" gaming console.

Differences in gaming habits, cultures, and the wildcard Wii effect have caused the exact opposite scenario. PS3 winning in Japan (landslide), 360 by a wide margin in the US (bigger than PS3's Japan lead), and a deadheat in Europe. This means that third party exclusives have pretty much become a thing of the past. This isn't necessarily a very welcome environment for Japanese companies, who are used to "doing what works". Portable systems are pretty much the only place they can continue to "do what works" - but in doing so, they isolate a huge portion of their userbase.

A perfect example: Valkyria Chronicles II. The first game was released to PS3 with amazing reviews but tepid sales both domestically and worldwide. Fans of the game were very vocal and demanded a sequel...which Sega eventually announced - with a platform shift. The series would be getting an aesthetic downgrade and will be appearing on the PSP. They justified it in interviews later, claiming a market need for a platform shift. Completely unsurprising.

Look, I'm aware this is the way things are going now. So here's what I'd like companies to do in the future. Make your portable more compatible with your home console. I want to be able to connect my PSP running Dissidia or Birth By Sleep to my PS3, which will upscale the image and run it on my big screen TV. I want to be able to control it with my DualShock 3. And I want to play it online. Technologically, I don't think this is impossible. I just wish they'd realize how big of a need there actually is for this kind of product...

My First (serious) Tournament

2009-08-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

So last week a friend and I made the journey 90 miles north to the Minnesota Meltdown annual fighting game gathering and tournament. I ended up placing 9th out of 15 entrants in BlazBlue, which - while nothing to write home about - isn't that bad considering I took rounds (and sometimes games) from the 5th and 2nd place finishers. So although I have a lot of work to do, I made a lot of progress and learned quite a bit.

Lessons Learned:

1.) It ain't over till it's over.

More than once I resorted to my usually-useful "get them down to low life and turtle with projectiles" only to eat a Spark Bolt -> 720 for MASSIVE SOVIET DAMAGE. When playing in tournaments, playing it safe towards the end isn't always a good idea (especially when facing Tager, who I had no idea could combo his projectile into his Throw of Doom).

2.) Mind games are real.

It's amazing how much the "flow" of the match dictates what your opponent will do. There is a lot of "feeling" that you can get from the person next to you. You can tell when they're panicking, you can tell when they're nervous. It's a completely different experience than playing online. Dictating the pace of the match (and not letting your opponent do it) is the best way to gain ground.

3.) Don't Ride the Icening!

It's true what they say in the forums. Ice Car works better online than it does in person, and anyone worth their salt will know how to block it and punish you. Only use Ice Car to get across the screen or in combos. And if you lose your combo chain before initiating the Ice Car, expect a world of hurt if you go through with it.

4.) If something works on you, they'll do it again. (and again, and again...)

Two examples: versus a Haku and a Noel.

6A is frighteningly effective against j.B. So much so that he had me on lockdown for the majority of the match. Usually Haku is one of my better matchups, but I had a really hard time with the one I met there. He also managed to lull me into a false sense of security by jumping around and provoking my ice car, which always ended in badness (see above.) For some stupid reason, I couldn't stop myself from jumping in even though I was eating 6A every time. I guess subconsciously I must have thought that my placement was off and that's why I was taking the hit, but it turns out the priority of that move is godly. And he would gladly hit me with it every time I attempted a jump-in.

One of Noel's combos has a property that if you tech out the wrong way, you're going to get combo'd again. I fell for this not once, not twice, but 3 times. And another person watching even commented on it.

So yes, I gained a lot of worthwhile experience by going to this tournament. I think what I need to work on the most, rather than combo execution, is fundamental execution and pressure escape. Once I'm in a 9832749832 hit combo, I just start to mash and hope for the best. I need to study the best means of escape for the characters I have the most problems with - namely Ragna, Rachel, Nu, and Noel.

From Boom Blox to BlazBlue

2009-08-14T12:15:00.000-07:00

Since I haven't done an entry in a while, I figured it'd be good to focus on a few things that have happened recently in the gaming industry, and particularly in my gaming habits...but rather than doing a lengthy introduction, I'll just hop right in.
Boom Blox and Why It Doesn't Sell

Boom Blox is, and will always be, a sad tale in the minds and hearts of the select few that were willing to give it a chance. The game's controls and innovative gameplay were PERFECT showcases for how to do a casual Wii game properly, the graphics were bright, colorful, and appealing, and the multitude of modes and level creation tools was second to none. It even had the support and input from Steven Spielberg (not that he's really a game designer in the first place). But my point is this. It had a lot of stuff going for it. So why, why, WHY were the sales numbers so blatantly abysmal while shovel crap like Imagine Babyz Partyz and Carnival Games shot up the casual charts? Well, the answer, I believe, is twofold:

The first problem is simple: price. The game launched at $49.99. Now, EA, I understand you spent a good amount of money developing this game. The fact it actually controlled well and looked halfway decent is proof enough of that. But casual consumers aren't looking for quality. They're looking for license/name recognition or, barring that, something cheap in the bargain bin. If you wanted to sell to the casual market, you should have priced the game accordingly - that is, $29.99 for a new copy.

The second problem is a bit more complex: lack of notoriety. The game's graphics look odd. The box doesn't tell you much about the type of game you're buying, and the game wasn't advertised to the masses properly. The combination of the graphical style (which some "casual" and a lot of hardcore users would call: "GHEY!11!!!") and lack of advertising basically doomed the game before it shipped.

I had the original game, and I sold it for pretty much the same price I bought it for ($30 used, from Gamefly).

A sequel was eventually crafted, but in a "slick" marketing ploy they decided to drop the Boom Blox moniker entirely and call it simply "Bash Party". I purchased this game for $30 on sale at Target yesterday, after my friends asked me one too many times over the last few months, "Where is Boom Blox? Why did you sell it?" Admittedly, the game's "screw your neighbor" video-Jenga was some of the most fun I've had with a third party title for the Wii - and apparently both my gamer and non-gamer friends agree that the game is appealing, not intimidating, and a whole lot of fun.

Sadly, they retained the look of the original - though they beefed up all the modes. I'm looking forward to trying it out with a group. However, its sales numbers paled even in comparison to the first game's. They did attempt to make some inroads with the casual crowd - lowering the launch price to $39.99 for starters - but it wasn't enough.

Brand recognition makes or breaks the Wii more often than any of us like to admit. If EA wants to make any money off of the Boom Blox franchise, I have an idea: if they are to do a third game, why not partner with Nintendo? The Boom Blox engine is great, but the blocky characters and generic backgrounds lack appeal. You want assured sales for your franchise? Here's an idea:

Mario's Bash Party

Those three words would solve any problems your franchise currently has. Nintendo's marketing plus recognizable characters plus your engine and decent minigames = SUREFIRE sales. If Mario and Sonic can sell millions, this certainly can, too. It would certainly be a better game Hardcore would buy it (for the franchises and gameplay), casuals would buy it (ooh, it has Mario), and Nintendo fanboys would buy it too (MARIO!). Imagine all the minigames that could be created using Nintendo star power plus the Boom Blox engine? Trust me, guys, it's a win-win situation for everyone.

You listening, EA? Get on it.

MAHVEL, BAYBEE!

OKAY. Now for a rant.

As an owner of the DC, PS2, and NAOMI (yes, arcade) versions of Marvel Vs Capcom 2, I was thrilled at the announcement of an HD reworking of the game with online play for release on the 360 and PS3. And after trying the offline-only PS3 demo I was even more excited. After waiting, and waiting, and waiting, they finally announced the release date - July 29...on 360 only.

What...the...fuck?

So those who wanted the PS3 version (for the better pad controls) were slightly screwed. Which was OK. I mean, I had plenty to play while I was waiting and it's not like I couldn't pop in the PS2 version if I was having a serious MvC2 craving. I wanted the PS3 version for the Dualshock support and also to be able to play on my SFIV TE stick, so I was willing to wait.

So finally, they release the game - or did they?

After hitting refresh on the PSN store for the 20th time at 4:30PM CST yesterday, I finally get to download...a 6kb unlock code....

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! We've had the whole game for the last three months?! Ok, fine, some Xbox360 games do that too. Release demos early which are basically the full game, and then issue an unlock code later. So this in and of itself wouldn't be a huge problem - except for the bugs....

Yep...this game is BROKEN. Seriously broken. We were sitting on the full version of a game that, for all intents and purposes, was nowhere near ready to be released. I'm not a hardcore Mahvel player so I don't know the character specific glitches but here's what I do know:

1.) Online is busted. As in, certain features not only fail to work, but CRASH THE GAME. Like BlazBlue PS3, it will cause the console to lock up and force you to do a hard reboot. Unlike BlazBlue, it doesn't happen when randomly connecting to matches (which is another gripe I will address in the near future)...instead, it occurs WHENEVER YOU ATTEMPT TO SEARCH FOR A MATCH. Yes. You heard right. The entire match selection screen is broken. Someone in QA was asleep at the wheel.

2.) The widescreen is glitchy. Really glitchy. Yes, I know it's a reworked feature, and the game is technically being played in just 4:3 mode, so I understand some issues will occur there. But some of the issues I've seen range from stuff being chopped at the 4:3 barrier entirely, to disgusting sprite and animation glitches at the edge of the screen reminiscent of the MvC2 xbox version (as played on 360) - yes, sometimes it really is that bad.

3.) Playlist functionality is broken in Ranked and whenever voice is turned on. Yep. Prepare to be "taken for a riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide" if your opponent has his headset on. Joy.

This is unforgivable, Capcom. You released the full game to us (in demo form, waiting to be unlocked) on April 30th. As a software developer I'm aware how much additional time affects quality. And your QA should have found these issues. I understand the graphical glitches to a degree since the code is basically a mishmash of DC/NAOMI code and new features, but having entire features of the game causing crashes is something that no top-tier game developer should be able to get away with. You should have held the game back until these issues were dealt with. I'm hoping you have plans to patch some of this stuff, because as of now it's a pretty sad port of the game. I'd go as far as to say the PS2 version is superior - which is not a good thing.

With the fighting game renaissance in full swing, having serious online issues in a game that is so blatantly multiplayer is a cardinal sin, and if I would have known about this I most likely would not have purchased the game. Of course, at this time, since most of us voted with our wallets, there's really no way to tell Capcom that they fucked up. We all bought the game anyways, and it's apparently ranked high on both PSN and XBL's download lists.

And with that, I'm out of here. I have a BlazBlue tourney to practice for. Hopefully it pays off. "ICE CAR! ICE CAR! I'M CRAZY!!!"

The Great Fight Hype

2009-07-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

Well, apparently Gamestop is up to some serious shenanigans, because they managed to completely botch the release of King of Fighters XII.

They dropped the game on a Friday, four days early. And never bothered to tell anyone about it.

When walking into Gamestop on a whim earlier today, I managed to walk out with a copy of the game - which was scheduled for shipping next week. Odd. And most of the press online from other players who managed to get the game early isn't good. With this action Gamestop managed to wipe out whatever hype was building for this game (admittedly not much, since we're all playing SF and BlazBlue) ruining whatever small chance it had at retail in the first place. Usually I hate hype. I hate the fact we have to wait for something that's obviously done, just so we anticipate it more. But having hype killed for such a niche game doomed it.

I'm not going to write a full review, but I will make a few points here. But before I do, a word of warning: I played this game while visiting Japan, so I will be able to compare it to the actual arcade release...

1.) The sprites are beautiful, huge, and animate well. Problem being, they scaled the roster back to offset the demands of next-gen development and having to redo all the sprites by hand. Only 22 characters this time around. The backgrounds are vibrant and lively, although (like characters), there really aren't many of them (6-7).

2.) Online lags HORRIBLY. I tried playing one match, and could barely get through. Ignition has plans to address this and will be patching the game upon its previously expected release date, next Tuesday. So I will save my opinions until then.

3.) Special move inputs, like most SNK games, are overcomplicated and difficult to do even with a TE Fightstick. Now I may not be a fighting game expert, but I'm far from a noob, and if I have serious problems pulling off more than one super in the game, they're most likely too difficult. Terry's Power Geyser (21416P) is especially difficult for me to pull off.

4.) After BlazBlue, fighters tend to feel similar, and there isn't a tag system like in other KoF games. Why no tag system? I think it has to do with the loading - which, by the way, is TERRIBLE if you don't install the game.

5.) No SNK Boss Syndrome....but that's not a good thing - because there IS no boss! The Arcade mode is simply five Time Attack matches. W...T....EFF?!~

6.) Blatant DLC grab. In so many words they've confirmed the roster is expanding, but you're gonna pay for it. Excluding Mai was deliberate so they could offer her up for DLC.

All that said, the game isn't TERRIBLE, it just stinks horribly when compared against SFIV and BlazBlue. The fact they're charging the full $60 for what amounts to a game with a budget set of features (but good production values, at least from a visual standpoint) really hurts. And the promise of DLC wrecking game balance hurts more. And lack of Mai on the default roster hurts the most...

My first attempt at translation

2009-05-21T16:28:00.000-07:00

Here are the Death Smiles achievements, with titles translated for your enjoyment...along with requirements for completion (not part of the translation itself). I took some liberties with the translation - so they aren't exact but were meant to go along with the game. I wanted to test myself to see how, if this game were to be localized, would the achievements translate best. I repeat: I'm trying NOT to make literal translations here because they'd just sound too weird. I'm trying to test myself in localization :D

使い魔の進化 (5)
Familiar Evolution
Play with manual control of your option/familiar. Version 1.1 only. Use the Option Control button if playing with a stick, just waggle the right stick around if using a pad.

戦いの火蓋 (5)
The Battle Begins!
Start a game in the Arcade or XBox 360 modes

復活 (5)
Resurrection
Use a continue(!)

地獄の鎌 (5)
The Sickle of Hell
Defeat Deathscythe (Stage A-1 Boss)

大地に喘ぐ者 (5)
The One who Breathes the Earth
Defeat Jordan (Stage A-2 Boss)

根を下ろし立つ者 (5)
The One who Stands from Roots
Defeat Whroon (Stage B-1 Boss)

継し者 (15)
The Successor
Defeat Sakura (Stage B-2 Boss)

羊羊羊 (10)
Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Lit-tle Lamb
Defeat Mary (Stage C-1 Boss)

炎を司る双竜 (10)
The Two Dragons Governing Over Flames
Defeat Bavaria (Stage C-2 Boss)

双子の竜王 (10)
The Twin Dragon Emperors
Defeat Devaria.Givaria (EXTRA Stage Bosses)

次元の扉で叫びし者 (20)
The One Screaming at True World's Portal
Defeat Jitterbug (Last Boss)

闇の帝王 (50)
The Emperor of Darkness
Defeat Tyrannosatan (True Last Boss)

地獄への入り口 (20)
Mouth of Hell
Select LVL3 for 5 stages during a game. The 5th time you choose LVL3 you'll activate Death Mode for the rest of the game, with the star-shaped revenge bullets that your option can absorb for items

地獄の洗浄 (50)
Hell's Spring Cleaning!
Select LVL3 for all stages, play the Extra stage (Canyon), Final stage (Castle), and clear the game. The Castle stage will be at maximum rank, Death Mode Level 2

任務完全遂行 (30)
Flawless Victory...and Execution!
Clear the game without continuing

爆発物禁止 (20)
No Explosives Allowed!
Clear the game without bombing

長女 (10)
The Eldest Daughter
長女の実力 (20)
The Eldest Daughter's True Strength
Clear, 1CC the game with Rosa

二女 (10)
The Second Daughter
二女の実力 (20)
The Second Daughter's True Strength
Clear, 1CC the game with Follet

三女 (10)
The Third Daughter
三女の実力 (20)
The Third Daughter's True Strength
Clear, 1CC the game with Windia

四女 (10)
The Fourth Daughter
四女の実力 (20)
The Fourth Daughter's True Strength
Clear, 1CC the game with Casper

デイオール四姉妹 (100)
Four sisters DEIOUR * (NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS)
Clear the game with every character

家族との再会 (5)
Reuniting with Family
私の友人 (5)
My Friends
Return Windia to the real world or Windia remains in the spirit world

仕返しはほどほどに (5)
A So-So Strike-back...
おなかいっぱい (5)
I'm Stuffed!
Return Casper to the real world or Casper remains in the spirit world

ただいま (5)
I'm Home!
みんなでお風呂 (5)
Bath Party!
Return Follet to the real world or Follet remains in the spirit world

看板娘 (5)
Show Girl
長女の憂鬱 (5)
Eldest Daughter's Angst
Return Rosa to the real world or Rosa remains in the spirit world

デススマイルズを究めし者 (100)
Deathsmiles Master
Clear all stages at LVL3 in Death Smiles Ver 1.1, including the EX Map, without continuing

究めたエンジェル (80)
Master Angel
Clear Death Smiles Ver 1.1. Contrary to the achievement description, continuing is not allowed

大食漢 (25)
Bullet Glutton
Absorb/cancel a total of 65535 bullets with your option/familiar

お風呂マニア (25)
Bath Mania!!
Watch the ending where Follet stays behind (the bath ending) a total of 10 times

廃車処理のお仕事 (15)
Demolition Work
Destroy the car near the end of the Marsh stage (gives you a bomb) a total of 10 times

あぶねぇあぶねぇ (10)
Watch out! Watch out!
Clear any stage with a half-bar of life and no bombs remaining

食いしん坊 (25)
Gourmand
Pick up 4 life-up items in a single playthrough

友達に手を上げるなんてっ! (10)
What do you mean, surrender?
While playing as Windia, wait for Sakura to self-destruct (time out Sakura?)

弾幕薄いよ! (20)
Just a small...barrage!
Make it to the boss without firing, bombing, or entering power-up mode

止まって見えるわ! (5)
Stop and watch me!
Press the Pose Button(?) during any stage

お金持ちが好き (25)
I like being rich!
Collect 500 large crowns within a single stage

白馬の王子様 (10)
A prince on a white horse
Destroy one form of any boss using only bombs

億万長者 (10)
Billionnaire
もっと億万長者 (20)
Mega billionaire
もっともっと億万長者 (50)
Mega-mega billionaire
Earn a score of over 100, 200, and 300 million points respectively

大復活 (20)
Ultimate Resurrection
Continue 50 times

実力の半分 (5)
Half-power!
Enter Power-up mode at 500
(... exactly 500?)

私の生きる道 (15)
My Way of Life
Return Sakura to the real world

新しい家族 (15)
A New Family
Sakura remains in the spirit world

忘れられし番人 (15)
The Forgotten Guard
Defeat Ozier (Stage 4-B Boss)

CAVEからの挑戦状 (50)
A Challenge from CAVE
Clear every level at Lv999 in one playthrough (continues allowed)

欲張りもん (25)
Natural lust ??
Build the counter to over 50,000

地獄の扉 (5)
Gates Of Hell
Select Lv999 for any level

急がば回れ (15)
More Haste, Less Speed (Slow and Steady Wins the Race)
Go to the castle stage after clearing both EXMaps (4-A and 4-B)

せっかち (5)
Impatience
Go to the castle stage without entering either EXMap

Akihabara for Dummies

2009-05-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

If you're a nerd, and you're visiting Tokyo, then I can only assume that one of your first stops on your whirlwind Japan tour will be Electric Town Akihabara...and why wouldn't it be? This neon district of electronics stores, arcades (some of the most famous in the world), Japanese junk food, maid cafes, and quirky manga/anime retailers makes up one of the most characteristic - if not sterotypical - places to explore in Tokyo. But TRAVELER BEWARE! Although Akihabara is generally fairly easy to get around as a foreigner, in general you need to be careful where you go and what you buy - it's easy to get caught up in the chaos only to regret it later.

Have no fear, the Angsty Gaijin is here!

How to get there: Yamanote line. Easy. Three stops from Tokyo station (you can also use the Chuo Line express to cut out a large portion of travel time if going from Shinjuku). But for those unfamiliar with the trains, your friendly neighborhood JR station staff should be able to point you in the right direction. All ticket machines have English modes on them, so there really isn't a whole lot of explanation I can give you regarding how to get there. The important things to take note of occur once you arrive.

Now, the first thing you'll probably notice upon stepping out of Akihabara JR station is the maid cavalry...tons of college students dressed in French Maid costumes... which will be doing their best to get your attention, advertise their businesses, and hand you free packages of tissue (which is used because many public bathrooms don't supply TP or towels). Keep in mind that some of these maid businesses are more reputable than others, and although I'm far from a maid business expert I've noticed that the less English is in an advertisement you're handed, the more likely it is to be shady. I still have the handout I was given during my first trip to Akihabara for "Cutie Relax Maid Massages". I don't even want to know. Seriously. I don't.

Ideally, you want to just smile and walk by, and don't take their handouts unless you really want to. Chances are you're not here for that anyway, which leads me to: the stores.

Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you're here to buy games. Are you? Good. Now here's the bad news: aside from the region lock issue which affects every console except the GBA, DS, DS Lite, PSP, and PS3, purchasing brand new games will in general set you back far more money than stateside equivalents. A new game can go for 6800 Yen ($70) or much more than that for some Square-Enix titles. Fortunately the rule of mass depreciation doesn't only apply to cars. It applies to video games as well. You can quite regularly find complete games on sale for much much less than retail price. And it happens much, much more quickly than in the states. A game a few weeks old can sell for 30% or more off MSRP in some cases. Each retailer sets their own prices for both new and used games as well.

If buying new (consoles or games):

1.) SHOP AROUND! Remember what I told you above - retailers very often set their own prices, which means something selling for 5800 yen one place might very well be in the bargain bin down the street. Usually price variations are extreme - the only time when stores seem to universally charge the same price is when a game is first released (and as such, they can gouge). The price differences can be attributed to the presence of TONS of competition, unlike in the States. Use that to your advantage.

2.) Know your system. Most have region locks - so you'll either need a Japanese console or a means of circumventing the lock if you want to play them. Good Japanese store clerks will point this out to you as best they can, but most won't bother. Since you're in Japan anyway, you might as well get the systems too...(at least I did) -_-

If buying used (games):

1.) Read the signs! Unlike Gamestop, JP retailers do you a great service. They not only tell you that a copy of a game is used, but they list any particular problems the game or packaging has. Depending on the condition of the individual item, pricing will vary. Thus, if you just want something to play and don't care about packaging, you can get some insanely good deals. Even games with most packaging intact are sold for at least 20% off MSRP - in many cases a lot more. Unfortunately, these "condition notes" on each game are often written in "Japanese gamer dude scribble" which is, in my opinion, the most difficult handwriting to read in the world - period. Yes, worse than doctor prescriptions. Much, much worse. Here are some terms which will help you here:

中古
CHUUKO = "second hand", "used"

ディスク
DISKKU = "disc"

新しい
ATARASHII = "new"

ゲーム
GEEMU = "game"

キズ
KIZU = "wound", "scratch" (in the case of a game, refers to disc scratching or damage)

多い
OOI = "lots of"

なし
NASHI = "without", "not present"

If you can probably tell, the phrase on a game that is a dead giveaway that you really don't want to buy it is: ディスク　キズ　多い (you can figure out what it means from the list above I'm quite sure).

Often the notes are written just like above, not in sentence format.

2.) Know what you're getting. A game that has a rare US version may not be as rare in Japan. Hence tons of copies of PS1 Valkyrie Profile available at 780 yen ($8 each):

Other interesting finds: complete boxed copies of FFIV - VI for Super Famicom @ $20 each, complete boxed copies of Chrono Trigger @ $15 each, complete Secret of Mana I and II @ $18, and Ogre Battle 64 - brand new and wrapped....in the bargain bin for $5. THE BARGAIN BIN! So remember, kids: if it's big in Japan, it's probably not rare in Japan. Don't think your copy of JP Chrono Trigger will fetch that same $100 on Ebay that the US copy will. Of course, if you're buying them to keep, or to play, as opposed to sell, then it's probably worth picking some of these classics up. Just don't expect to be rolling in the dough.

Useful phrases (including the "summon spell" from Yoshinoya - which also works here if you need a cashier or clerk's attention!):

「すみません！！」
SUMIMASEN = "Excuse me..."

「何かを買いたいんですが。。。」
NANIKA WO KAITAI N DESU GA... = "I would like to buy something, but [I need your help]"

「これは、いくらですか？」
KORE WA, IKURA DESU KA = "How much is this?"

「VISAを使っていいですか？」
VISA WO TSUKATTE II DESU KA = "Can I use my VISA?" (lit: "Is it good to use VISA?")

So after you're done with your game shopping, you're probably going to be hungry. Now there are plenty of food stands in Akiba selling Crepes, Takoyaki, Ramen, etc...but if you want the full Akihabara experience, you should probably try out a maid cafe at least once. Now, the maid cafe is a part of Japanese culture that is very, very difficult to explain. Basically, it started as an innocent way for socially awkward Japanese men to part with money in exchange for conversation with women dressed up as maids or other anime stereotypes. The idea was to pull the customers into a fantasy (INNOCENT fantasy that is) of being in an anime - and give them the chance to interact with people that they normally wouldn't either due to shyness or other reasons. The phenomenon exploded out of Akihabara and now there are all types of theme cafes that have more or less the same purpose.

I guess if you have to compare it to anything, think of it as the Japanese version of Hooters without the hooters...erm...so to speak. The food really isn't that special but it is a unique Akihabara experience. I can't say I'd ever go back (especially after my girlfriend heard that I went innocently on a suggestion from a friend), but it was definitely unique. And the clientele has expanded beyond just lonely guys into a socially acceptable form of restaurant for people of both sexes and (almost) any age....

erm.... *gulp*

How To Order At Yoshinoya

2009-05-13T12:21:00.000-07:00

By popular request, here is the strategy guide to ordering at one of the cheapest chain restaurants in Tokyo. Enjoy!

Those of us who have traveled in Tokyo before have seen them...they're everywhere. The 24-hour mega-fast-food restaurants known as Yoshinoya. These restaurants are built for people on-the-go and have a very basic menu with traditional Japanese items, but it's some of the cheapest food you can get in the Tokyo area. What's more, surprisingly, is that it actually doesn't taste too bad, either.

In the mornings, these little restaurants are packed with salarymen and career women commuters on their way to work - and with the lightning-fast service and decent prices, it's not difficult to see why these places are popular.

But for those like us, tourists...travelers...there's only one problem...

「エピック失敗」　（Epic　Fail....）

KANJI-HAME-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO ENGLISH MENUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO HIRAGANA MENUS!!!!!!!!!!!
GOOD LUCK ORDERING, GAIJIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Therefore, for those planning on traveling to Japan sometime in the future (hint: some of this stuff doesn't have seafood or seaweed ingredients, so it's very Western-friendly if you know what to order). First let's go through some of the stuff you can eat there. I took these descriptions from the website, trying to keep in mind what the most "Western" dishes on their menu were. I only had a chance to try two of them (marked with a * below), so I can't vouch for the tastiness of everything.

牛丼 *
Gyuu don
Beef and onions over rice
This is probably their most popular dish.

牛焼肉定職　*
Gyuu Yakiniku Teishoku
Beef and onions with rice and cabbage set (yakiniku is lit: "Korean style BBQ" but the beef tasted the same as the Gyuudon to me).

プレーンカレー
Purein Karei
Plain Curry (served with rice)

豚アイガケカレー
Buta Aigake Karei
Curry with pork and rice

親子丼
Oyakodon
Chicken and egg over rice (the egg isn't fully cooked)

並 = Nami = small/normal size (note: even for an American belly, a 'nami' is more than enough food. There are technically two bigger sizes, which I have nicknamed 'too big' and 'sumo', but there's no point in discussing them since even THIS gaijin couldn't stomach more than a 'nami').

So now that you have some vocab, here's the next part...how to order.

Now this can be a terrifying experience even for someone with Japanese experience, so let me point out that you can use your hands to help here. You may not remember the word for "one" is "hitotsu", but you can certainly hold up one finger when saying the name of the dish you want. This also works for size...if you don't remember "nami", just make a gesture with your hands that implies "small".

The the exchange works as follows:

[you enter the store]

Clerk: (in a really loud voice)「いらっしゃいませ！！！！！！！！！！！！！！」
"IRASSHAIMASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Welcome [to our store]!"

Don't worry, they aren't yelling at you, they're simply welcoming you into the shop. You'll hear this a lot in Japan, so don't be surprised. Take your seat, preferably one that has a bit of space between you and the next customer over, and look over the menu, keeping in mind the dishes I listed above are already transliterated for you. Now, unlike in American restaurants, the clerk will not come over to take your order on their own (unless the place is empty). You must know the summon spell! Note that this one magic word will cause instant service at _ANY_ Japanese restaurant or other establishment. Basically an employee will drop whatever they're doing the second they hear you utter it and rush over to help you. So say it loud, say it proud, say:

You: 「すみません！」
"SUMIMASEN!"
"Excuse me, but I would like some help!" (lit: "Excuse me!" or "Pardon me!")

And then once the clerk comes over, place your order.

You: 「並牛丼を一つください。」
"Nami-gyuudon wo hitotsu kudasai."
"One small gyuudon, please."

Make sure to specify "nami" if you're getting any kind of donburi dish (oyakodon, butadon, gyuudon) because otherwise you WILL be subject to a fluent Japanese barrage as they try to figure out what size you want. The curry dishes and teishoku (set meals) do not have sizes like the donburi dishes, so you can eliminate "nami" when ordering.

If you want more than one of a particular dish...you can use the following:

一つ
Hitotsu
One [item]

二つ
Futatsu
Two [items]

三つ
Mitsu
Three [items]

四つ
Yotsu
Four [items]

You: 「並牛丼を二つ下さい。」
　　　 "Nami-gyuudon wo futatsu kudasai."
"Two small gyuudon, please."

And so on.

If you want more than one dish, you can use "to" (pronounced "toe") to link your sentence together:

You: 「並牛丼を一つと、プレインカレーを一つください。」
"Nami-gyuudon wo hitotsu to, purein karei wo hitotsu kudasai."
"One small gyuudon and one plain curry, please."

And you can use "to" over and over again to link more dishes together - but unless you're a real pig or ordering for a bunch of people, you really shouldn't have to use it more than once or twice.

Now, finally, after you enjoy your gigantic bowl or plate of Japanese goodness, there comes that awkward moment where you need to pay the check but aren't really sure how to.... AHA! But you have this guide, my friend. In order to receive your check, first summon the clerk via the summoning spell above:

You: 「すみません！」
"SUMIMASEN!"
"Excuse me, but I would like some help!" (lit: "Excuse me!" or "Pardon me!")

So the clerk will rush over again, and you can ask for your check (which can be paid directly to the clerk at the time it is brought. It is NEVER (and I mean _NEVER_) OK in Japan to just leave money on the table and walk out. No tipping is ever required and in most cases isn't even accepted. Anyways, the request for your bill:

You: 「おかんじょう下さい。」
"Okanjo, kudasai."
"The bill, please."

Then pay your yen. It's that simple.

Chapter 6: Old Capital

2009-04-22T04:42:00.000-07:00

Though I wanted to go to Kyoto since I picked up our JR passes at the start of the vacation, I wasn't sure whether or not we would actually get around to it. Since we were both getting pretty tired of the constant hustle and bustle of Tokyo, we decided it might be interesting to finally check out something different. Making reservations for the train went without a hitch, and once again my Japanese ability really helped out. In fact, for those of you planning travel here in the near future with no experience in the language, I HIGHLY suggest planning your route using hyperdia.com, then writing down the name and number of the train you want to make reservations for. This will save the ticket agent some grief as they struggle with trying to figure out how to convert your English into Japanese - it also makes sure you receive the ticket you're expecting.

This time, I made sure we had non-smoking tickets, as the last time I was on the Shinkansen, last year, getting stuck in a smoking car was one of the worst experiences of that vacation. Not being able to breathe for hours at a time as dozens of Japanese salarymen all light up their cigarettes and cigars, with little to no ventilation in the train car, was disgusting. If I get lung cancer, I'm blaming you, Japan. So yeah, that's another thing...unless you like secondhand smoke, RESERVE YOUR TICKETS IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHINKANSEN!

Anyways, this Shinkansen ride went a lot faster than the last one, and the train emptied out sooner as well. The countryside scenery was just as pretty as last time, and I spent the time listening to J-Pop on my iPod as I watched the countryside pass by. Strangely enough, I really didn't get a good view of Mt. Fuji this time, as I was on the wrong side of the train.

The trip to Kyoto took roughly 3 hours, and when we finally rolled into the station it felt great to get off the train. We didn't really have a plan as to what we wanted to do in Kyoto, so we just started walking. Unfortunately, apparently the direction we headed - south - was the wrong direction to head if you were interested in seeing temples, shrines...or really anything at all besides light commercial and residential streets. There was one bright spot, I suppose, in that we found an electronics store called "Jashin" which had a large used game and peripheral section. I even found a rare Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom Fight Stick, which I immediately snapped up, along with a white gamecube controller to match the Wii. Now...keep in mind, this store's selection was great, but it had a problem. A big problem.

The store was a big supporter of the region's pro baseball team, the Hanshin Tigers. Why is this a problem? Well, they have a cheer. A 30 second long Hanshin Tigers Cheer. And this cheer was broadcast over the speakers - on repeat. Now granted, when I worked at K-Mart back in college, I used to get sick of hearing the same Wilson Phillips and Phil Collins songs, but at least they didn't repeat EVERY THIRTY SECONDS. To give you an idea of how annoying this was, here is the Hanshin Tiger cheer in its entirety. It hurts. It hurts. IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My theory is their reasons for broadcasting the cheer are twofold: first, to support the team, and second, to stop gaijin from spending too much time buying stuff in their store. If they were indeed trying to drive us out, congratulations! It worked.

So after purchasing our stuff and fleeing Jashin, we came across a restaurant. It was located in the lobby of a small hotel, and had Japanese lanterns posted listing most of the trademark dishes of the country (so I figured we could find something here that we both could eat - like the Japanese equivalent of a Denny's). Oh, how wrong I was. Upon sitting down, the waitress brought us cups of water and tea. Lisa's tea cup had lipstick on it... lots of lipstick, like it wasn't even washed. Then we noticed a bug crawling across the table...and decided that it probably wasn't a good idea to eat much here.

This left me in a bit of a bind. Since they brought us complimentary tea already, I couldn't just get up and leave without buying something. And neither one of us wanted food poisoning, either.... so that leaves...hmm... THE DRINK MENU! So after looking briefly at the menu, we decided on Green Tea with Cherry and Sakura on the Rocks. When the drinks finally came, one was good - and one was fail. Can you guess which was which?

Sadly, the fail was Sakura on the Rocks. Or, as we would prefer to call it, "Philips Vodka with a Sakura Blossom in it". Yeah. So even though it wasn't very tasty, it managed to give us both a little bit of a buzz since we hadn't eaten anything yet during the day - which I was a bit concerned about, since I'm the one that needs to figure everything out when we're over here in Japan. But anyways, we left the "Denny's" and headed back towards Kyoto station to find some REAL food. It didn't take us long to come to a little indoor mall with about six yummy-looking restaurants. We sat down and ate in one, sans English menu (another problem with Japan...not all places have them), but with my Japanese was able to ask what things were to ensure I was ordering something that was less than crazy. I ended up with a beef meal set and Lisa got a tonkatsu curry (which is a safe standby). Both were delicious - if a bit on the expensive side.

After lunch, we started exploring north and came to the first of many temples along the way. This particular temple was under construction for reinforcement purposes, which looked kind of strange. We didn't stay there long, and sat down at a fountain outside the temple for some much needed rest. A few minutes later, the highlight of the trip occurred:

We weren't at the fountain for longer than three or four minutes before I noticed some Japanese college students giving us strange looks. I just assumed it was our gaijin awesomeness at work, since there are indeed fewer gaijin in Kyoto than in Tokyo. But a couple minutes later they came up to us and began talking in (barely understandable) English:

"Can we talk you for minute?"

Lisa looked confused. I responded yes. They were apparently collecting survey data for what I assume was a school assignment, and wanted to get some opinions from people visiting the temple. Since the English was obviously a barrier - they had to write their questions down - I decided to answer them in Japanese, which shocked them all. The question ranged from where we were from, to our ages, to our interest in the site and any Japanese historical figures. When they asked about why we wanted to come to Japan, I said, in Japanese... "Well, I'm kind of a video game enthusiast (Game Otaku) so..." which caused the girls and a couple of the guys to break out in laughter. The one doing most of the talking pointed to a couple of his buddies and said "They are game otaku too". We talked with this big group of kids for about 2-3 minutes in total, and as they were leaving I asked them in Japanese if we could have a picture together, and they kindly obliged.

This kind of thing would never happen in Tokyo. Ever. But it seems to happen in the Kansai region (Kyoto/Kobe) quite frequently. People are legitimately curious about us, so it's always fun to talk with them. You can't look confused for longer than a few seconds in Kobe without someone asking you if you need help. In Tokyo, you can look lost all day and nobody would even bother - you need to ask for help if you need it.

We saw more shrines and temples in Kyoto, but nothing stood out in my mind as particularly amazing following the awesomeness that was Kamakura. Those temples and shrines were tough to beat - and the ones in Kyoto seem to pale in comparison. Maybe it's something about them all being nestled among high rise buildings, but none of them seemed too "Zen".

So after a few hours we headed back...and everything went well - up until the local train back to Shinjuku. Two stops before ours, an older guy with a long beard wearing a winter coat got on the train. Now keep in mind, it was raining cats and dogs at that time, so why someone would have a winter coat is beyond me...but the coat wasn't the problem. The smell was. When I was a kid, my grandparents used to take me and my sister to the zoo near our cabin in Wisconsin when we went there on vacation - and one of the stops we would always make was to the black bear cage. Whenever one of those bears went into the water, it let off a stink that seemed to go on for miles. They stank before they got in the water, but for some reason the water seemed to amplify it. This guy was the same way. The combination of his sweat, the water, and the fact he probably hasn't taken a shower in months was enough to cause everyone around him on the crowded train car to move away. See, this is the kind of behavior I expected people to do to us since we were foreigners, but that didn't happen at all. But they sure moved for this guy. The Gaijin Barrier is a myth, but if you stink enough, you can have the whole train car to yourself! I actually moved along with the other Japanese guys to the other side of the train car, and fortunately the guy got off at the next stop - but his stench lingered long after he left.

And that's about it, except that this morning we woke up to yet more Japanese people getting it on down the hall. I'm seriously beginning to wonder if the Avenue Q song "You Can Be As Loud as The Hell You Want [When You're Making Love]" is actually a cultural truth in Japan. Ugh...

Chapter 5: Zen

2009-04-20T15:15:00.000-07:00

It's true what they say. Amidst all the chaos and wonder that is Tokyo...the game centers, the train stations, the restaurants, the crowds...it really is just another city. You could get the Tokyo experience - minus all the Japanese of course - by going to any major city in the US (for the closest experience, I'd say NYC). The only REAL difference (aside from the language barrier) is the homeless people in Tokyo won't harass you for money - the only people getting up in your face will be handing you free samples and coupons (quite a change for the better if you ask me). Well, except for Roppongi, where Nigerians outside of each bar along the strip will attempt to bully you (in broken English or Japanese) in order to get you to enter the bar or hostess club they work for. How all those Nigerians got here to Tokyo - or why they came here -I have no idea. They should work for the Prince of Nigeria instead - I hear he's got a lot of money tied up in foreign accounts that he needs help extracting. Or, at least that's what the e-mail told me. ;) Have you ever heard an African national attempt to speak Japanese? I have, and I couldn't understand a word of it.

Anyway, we were both getting rather tired of the Tokyo crowds, so our opportunity for a trip to the outskirts came just in time. First up was Kamakura, an ancient capital of Japan and samurai city - and one of the birthplaces of the zen buddhism sect in Japan. Kamakura was actually selected by my uncle's coworkers (Iwama-san and Kawai-san) who took care of my uncle and I when we came to Japan last year. They wanted to meet up with me again and take a road trip, and I was more than happy to tag along. I wasn't planning on them driving us in the company car though. I figured it would cost them less money to take the train, so I felt a little guilty that they were using the company car to take us to Kamakura.

Anyways, Kamakura is about an hour south of Tokyo, and the ride there was very interesting - if only because the divide between Japanese city and Japanese countryside is immediate. You literally go from urban sprawl to forested mountains in a matter of seconds - and the nature here is absolutely breathtaking. Kamakura is a little "suburb" - if you could even call it that - and has a completely different "flavor" than Tokyo. It's not abnormal in Kamakura to see people walking around in kimonos/yukatas going about their daily business. Buildings are close together, like Tokyo, but no building is taller than two stories. If I had to compare it to anything in America, I'd say it has the flavor of Key West, Florida - without all the tropical stuff. The way the buildings were arranged is a lot like residential areas of Key West - but they're obviously a lot more Japanese. The roads are so old that, even though they are two way streets, there is only enough room for one car to traverse them at a time. That lead to some interesting situations since the company "car" we were riding in was a gigantic minivan. We had a couple of close calls during the trip, but Kawai-san was at the wheel and I get the impression he's used to driving in difficult conditions.

We saw a lot of buildings and temples, so I'll just share some highlights. Our first stop was the Daibutsu - the "Great Buddha". This statue of Buddha, several stories tall and made of bronze, was one of the most breathtaking sights I've seen in Japan. Not so much because of how it looks now, but because of the tremendous amount of effort it must have taken to carve the thing. It didn't take long to see most of the artifacts at the Daibutsu location, so we moved on after a few minutes of taking pictures.

Next up was Zeni-Arai. This shrine (note: temples = Buddhism, shrines = Shinto) is one of the most interesting stops on our tour of Kamakura, if only because the custom here is just plain weird. "Zeni" is one reading for "money", and "Arai" comes from "arau" which means "to wash". The shrine is dedicated to one of the Shinto gods of wealth, and it is said that if you wash your money in the pond here, its value will double. I'm not so sure it works, but that didn't stop Iwama-san and Kawai-san from washing their cash (including $100 bill equivalents). They asked us if we wanted to try too, but we politely declined. I saw no reason to have a soggy wallet for the rest of the day. :)

Aside from being very beautiful, the other interesting thing about Zeni-Arai is that it was one of the first of many places on our Kamakura tour with tons and tons of Triforces. Yep, that's right. The Legend of Zelda Triforce is everywhere, in both Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples. I have no idea why this is, or what the "true" meaning of the Triforce is. Since Miyamoto is originally from the Kyoto area, which is another major area for temples and shrines, I'm pretty sure he "borrowed" the symbol for use in the games. Anyway, soon after Zeni-Arai we ended up stopping for lunch.

Now, first of all, something needs to be said about going out to eat with Japanese people. They try way too hard to please their guests, and the phrase "wherever you would like" in response to them asking "where would you like to eat?" doesn't seem to parse in their brains - even though they have a preference, and they want you to pick the right one. Usually you'll have no idea whether you guessed right or guessed wrong, since they will pretend to like it either way. Since I knew next to nothing about Kamakura I really wanted them to make the decision for us, and then I'd take a look at the menu outside the restaurant and make sure there was something on the menu that both Lisa and I could enjoy (which is true for most places in Japan anyways). So you basically have two choices when you're caught in this logic loop with your Japanese hosts. The first choice is to just pick somewhere and hope for the best, which tends to have mixed results... OR, you hang back and "turtle" - don't make any decision at all until they finally pick the restaurant. I took the second choice, and although it didn't pay off in the end for us, I believe Iwama-san and Kawai-san legitimately wanted to eat at this place, so that's perfectly OK.

One thing I learned last year from travelling with my uncle is a very simple rule when it comes to food places: if it's empty, don't go in. If it's crowded, it's probably good - or at the very least, won't make you sick. This place had a line out the door, so we assumed the best. It didn't look like there was too much on the menu that wasn't fish-based, although they did have a tempura set which both Lisa and I selected. Iwama-san and Kawai-san ordered a VERY hardcore-looking bowl of boiled mini-sardines and rice. I assumed (correctly) that these boiled baby sardines are famous in this area, since I saw several vendors selling them in packages to passerby.

In any case, upon receiving our food, we noticed a familiar pink-and-white spongy substance in our bowls of miso soup...fu. The same stuff that appeared on the shabu-shabu vegetable plate during our outing with Satoshi and Kanae. I was hoping to finally know exactly what it was, so I asked Iwama-san...unfortunately, just like with Satoshi and Kanae, no English translation could be produced. "It's just fu." WHAT IS FU?! Lisa and I have a theory that it's made of something really nasty that our Japanese hosts don't want to tell us about, and that's why no translation can be produced. It has no flavor; and it looks like a fish cake (like the kind you put in ramen). To this day I still have no idea what it is - so if one of you folks know, feel free to drop me a line. I ate a few pieces of it and haven't gotten sick...YET.

The big whopper of exotic eating - some of those raw baby sardines the Kamakura area is known for - also appeared on our set plates, garnished with a little daikon (Japanese radish). Now, those of you who have been following my blog and my facebook page know my two rules about
eating bizarre foods. Usually I try to be pretty open here, since it doesn't hurt to try unusual things...however:

1.) I can't be able to tell what animal it came from (thus it can't be whole).

2.) Andrew Zimmern did not barf it up on television.

Unfortunately, these sardines were still whole. And Lisa wasted no time in pointing out to our hosts that I hadn't tried the local delicacy, knowing full well about my rules about trying bizarre foods. I was feigning that I was full in order to get out of eating those, but it was not to be. Once they gestured to the sardines, I didn't really have a choice in the matter anymore. Down the hatch.

It's the first - and hopefully LAST - time I ever ate anything with its eyes still intact. That said, it didn't really taste much like fish at all. In fact, if I had to compare it to anything, I'd say it was a mild version of tsukemono (pickled veggies). I was expecting the texture to be a lot grosser than it was - not to say that I liked it, or that I'd eat it again by choice - but it wasn't DREADFUL. Bizarre food rule #1 was broken. Thanks, Lisa. :-P

Fortunately, I got my revenge a few minutes later where, through pressure, I managed to convince her to try one as well. She agreed on the lack of a fishy taste. I tried to explain to Iwama-san and Kawai-san that it's hard for most Americans to eat whole fish or insects, because it's hard for us to imagine them as food. I don't think the message got across completely but they seemed happy we at least tried them.

Another thing about going out to eat with Japanese folks. "Senpai" (elders) always pay for "Koohai" (subordinates). So there's usually a battle about the bill when a "Koohai" offers to pay for "Senpai". Iwama-san has been nice enough to not only take us to Kamakura, but also to refuse to accept any payment for the temple or shrine entry fees and snacks along the way - so the least - the VERY least I could do is pay for lunch for him and Kawai-san. It took me five minutes of solid pleading in order to allow him to let me pay for him. But I'm very glad I was able to finally convince him, since it was the very least I could do - especially for all his hospitality both this year and last year.

We saw a few more shrines after lunch, including one near the restaurant which makes up the Kamakura "town square". Now, when I mentioned in my last entry that the Japanese were very commerce-centric, that was not an understatement. Lining the shrine were stands selling various kinds of candy and souvenirs. Those crazy Japanese even managed to commercialize their own religions. Then again, Christianity is arguably commercialized in the States too - but I can't think of too many churches where you go in and have overpriced food stands and souvenir shops (admittedly, I'm sure there are a few that serve/sell donuts and coffee, but that makes a little more sense). In any case, we were just in time to witness a traditional Japanese wedding, only.... THE GROOM WAS A GAIJIN!!!! My nerd radar was blaring (we can recognize our own), and this guy had the biggest grin on his face I've ever seen. I wonder where he managed to find a set of traditional Japanese garb that could actually fit him? Ah well, as Laki best put it: "Score another one for America." There was actually more than one wedding going on there, as that particular shrine symbolizes happy marriage, so I guess lots of people want to get married there.

There were also bags of food pellets for 100yen that people could purchase to feed the birds or the absolutely MONSTROUS koi that were in the ponds around the temple complexes. I swear, these fish would snap a good size walleye in two - that's how big they were. The picture above doesn't really do these guys justice. They were absolutely gigantic.

After a bit more exploration, we were all getting tired. So we finally returned to Tokyo, I gave them my gifts I brought from the States, and said our goodbyes. Lisa and I then checked out a local ramen shop, where I couldn't read the menu very well but was able to ask what things were (which was more than enough to order), and we had some really good ramen, believe it~!

At this point I'd like to end this entry on a good note, but it was not to be. Upon waking up and leaving the hotel room the next morning, we got an earful of a Japanese couple getting it on from down the hall. It was disgusting. You could hear it THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE HALLWAY. And it was loud. And at first I thought it was a bird or something, until I heard the pillow-talk... "SUGOI!! SU~GO~I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *flinch* *wince* *shiver*.... Thin walls. I was able to "purify" myself a bit later by buying a Japanese Wii and Taiko-No-Tatsujin....

A brief update...

2009-04-20T06:06:00.001-07:00

I know I haven't written for a while, but I've been so busy going from one thing to another that I could barely find the time! So, rather than make an entry for each day I missed, I'm going to condense all the happenings of the last few days into two DECENT blog entries. Watch for them soon.

Unfortunately I have the headache from hell at the moment (courtesy of a 3-hour train ride) and won't be able to post them tonight, but you can bet you'll see them soon, as I have notes covering most of the important details I want to share with you guys.

Matta ne!

Chapter 4: Assumptions

2009-04-17T07:39:00.001-07:00

Interlude: Japanese commercialism

Although I have a lot to talk about today, I wanted to write a bit about the observations of the Japanese commercial culture. They are, first and foremost, INSANELY driven by the "here and now", often leaving behind what they were just lusting after only a short time before in pursuit of the next big thing. On every street corner, there are people "harrassing" passerby, handing out fliers or free samples of items. If there isn't anyone present, there most likely is a TV playing commercials telling you to buy stuff. Now, although this isn't all that different from America, the culture of how to pay on an entirely different level. Credit cards are not very common, although accepted at some places, and it's not unusual to see people carrying around 10,000 yen ($100) bills and using them to pay for relatively small items. (In America, using a $100 at a gas station to buy a drink would probably cause the cashier to give you a strange look). The gift-giving nature of the culture (where all business meetings and social gatherings more or less require a gift exchange of some sort) fuels this impulse-based commerce and produces even MORE opportunities to buy frivolous stuff. It's fascinating and curious at the same time.

Anyways, back to our regularly scheduled blog...

Yesterday's trip to Akihabara was nice, and pretty much business as usual. I don't want to spend a lot of time on this except to say that there were games to be bought, and food to be eaten. It's still my favorite district of Tokyo, but even I'll admit that it gets to be a bit tiring. There were a few "duty free" tourist trap shops, but in exchange for losing the 5% consumption tax, the price of goods (such as rice makers and kimonos) skyrockets 15-20%, making it pretty much pointless to shop there. A shame, but we could probably get better and cheaper "touristy" stuff at the Japanese Spencer's in Lumine mall, by our hotel. One great find at retro game shop Super Potato was a boxed copy of Ogre Battle 64, unopened, for 500 yen. OGRE BATTLE 64. IN THE BARGAIN BIN. >.<

Then again, Square-Enix stuff like Valkyrie Profile PS1 and even Persona 2 and Suikoden 2 from other publishers on the PS1 was sub-$20. Games, with very few exceptions, do not hold their value here the way they do in the States. Boxed copies of the Super Nintendo Final Fantasies are about as common as boxed copies of Madden 200x on PS2. I wish I was kidding.

After shopping and playing a few games of BlazBlue (which was better the second time around - before I got Nihonjin Smashed off of the machine by a local player), we ventured to Kabukicho for shabu-shabu with Satoshi and his girlfriend. Now, granted, it's difficult for me to tell the age of a Japanese woman...but when we first met his girlfriend, I'd say....well, she looked much, MUCH younger - I'd say about half his age - and something just seemed "off" about the whole thing. But she was nice to us, and she actually could hold a conversation about Final Fantasy, which was shocking. And besides, I can't judge, since I don't know the situation, and...well...things are different here. Relationship rules are different here (more on that in a bit). I'm proud of him. "Naisu Katchi!" (nice catch!)

Anyways, Kabukicho...the Japanese Las Vegas. Hostess bars, pachinko parlors, overpriced food, and Yakuza...fortunately didn't have any run-ins with the latter. Satoshi told me that Kabukicho is harmless until after midnight. Anyway, amidst the craziness sat the little shabu-shabu place, very nondescript. On the inside, it turned out to be quite a bit larger than expected, and we got a table and had a good meal. Shabu-shabu, for those unaware, is vegetables and premium beef boiled in water piece-by-piece and eaten immediately afterwards. Though most of the vegetables given to us were easily recognizable, there was one odd thing on the plate: MOCHI. Not the delicious ice cream dessert mochi you're thinking of. No, this was the most evil, insidious food I've ever had the displeasure of consuming. It consisted of solid rice dough, in little rectangles. Satoshi and his girlfriend suggested Lisa and I try this "mochi", so we prepared it in the shabu-shabu pot. Now, I should have known something was wrong the second I removed it from the boiling water. It had the texture and color of Elmer's Glue, but was thicker. It stuck to the chopsticks but oozed back onto the plate after each pickup attempt. I was hesitant; I knew how this was going to end. But being polite, I ate it...or at least, I tried to. It tasted like mashed, heated, paper. The rice paste had no flavor at all, and was extremely difficult to swallow. I couldn't get it down, I had to spit it out. I felt bad about this, as it could be seen as a sign of disrespect, but they thought it was funny - and I really didn't have a choice...the stuff was disgusting. Thus, a word to the wise: if you're ever offered mochi at a time other than dessert, back away slowly and then RUN!

After dinner, they kindly walked us back to Shinjuku station so we didn't get lost. After reaching the hotel, we headed back upstairs and crashed.

Today we visited a small amusement park in Ikebukuro called NamjaTown. NamjaTown is famous for two things, fortunately both food-related: The World Gyoza Stadium and Ice Cream City. Now, like the titles would suggest, these little "regions" within the theme park consist of different vendors selling all types of specialty gyoza and ice cream. We ended up trying a variety of gyoza: 3 meat, mayonnaise, habanero, pan-seared, inari-coated, and deep fried. NOM NOM NOMMITY NOM NOM NOM. All were delicious, except maybe the mayonnaise ones. Lisa liked those the best, ironically. At Ice Cream City we got berry sundaes with crepes and "Magic Snow" (shaved milk with a fruit topping). The "Magic Snow" was actually pretty bizarre, it had the texture of cotton candy but not the flavor, it melted in your mouth, and tasted great. I've never had anything like it before. The crepe sundaes were pretty straightforward, but the crepes were far more delicious than normal ice-cream cones.

We also located the octopus and beef tongue ice cream that Andrew Zimmern tried on Bizarre Foods on the Tokyo episode...but dude...if Andrew couldn't eat it without barfing it up on TV, I wasn't even going to try. It just wasn't in the cards. Nope. Sorry. I usually try to be pretty flexible about trying bizarre foods, but I have two rules: (1.) I cannot be able to tell what animal it is from the food I'm served, and (2.) Andrew Zimmern did not puke it up.

The thing about NamjaTown, other than the food, was the decor. Each of the themed areas was different, there was a fairy-tale style "dessert garden", a haunted village, and a military barracks (which contained some of the worst US Military propaganda ripoffs in history. My mouth dropped at some of this stuff:

Honestly, who thinks of this stuff? Our symbol for freedom, given a tie and bastardized as the ghostbusting NamderBirds Secret Agency. Wow. Just wow. I don't even know where to go with that.

After that, we had delicious yakitori with someone from IBM Japan that I worked with previously. He's Canadian - another gaijin - who has lived here for around 7 years. We talked a lot about the stereotypes of Japan, and he had some interesting things to say about the reality of living and working in Japan:

1.) They do not change. Their theory is: if something worked in the past, it will always work. No changing, no innovation. They protect and refine what they already know how to do. Requesting change will be shot down with maximum stonewalling or ignorance.

2.) Job security is definite in this country. Which means while it's next to impossible to get fired, it is also next to impossible to leave if you don't like your job and get another one (especially as a foreigner).

3.) It is illegal to BE a prostitute, but not to VISIT one...

4.) Businessmen do cheat on their wives. Often. There are entire establishments devoted to such things. Marriages are more often business relationships than that of love.

5.) Working long hours is the norm. 8AM to 8PM days are common.

6.) To those who believe Japan is the best country in the world and the best awesome country in the world, yet haven't been here yet: "Living in Japan is wonderful. Working in Japan is hell."

Chapter 3: Shokku

2009-04-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

I'd like to write a lot tonight, but I think the jet lag finally caught up to me. As such, there won't be much today except a few pictures.

We went to Akihabara and picked up some stuff, among the finds was the Advent Children Complete Blu Ray with FFXIII demo and a Japanese 360, among other things. We actually broke down and got the used one since it contained the Star Ocean stuff Lisa was drooling over. We tested it in the hotel room and everything seems A-OK. No RROD, no fail, no weird noises (the disc drive is a bit slow, but it's a new model and an arcade system at that, so it'll be fine).

We met Satoshi and his girlfriend for shabu-shabu in Kabukicho. That was interesting, for a lot of reasons. Lots of Japanese practice, and I learned quite a few interesting things about Japan...

Chapter 2: Pride

2009-04-15T08:21:00.001-07:00

We crashed pretty hard last night. So hard that in all honesty I couldn't have written any more if I wanted to. Even if I could have, though, I really didn't have much to say at that point. I was on a plane for 12 hours, and a bus for 2 more hours. I was uncomfortable, tired, and sore. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was blog. Oh, the things I do for you guys. <3.

Today, however, things finally got underway. We woke up around 5 AM courtesy of the jet lag, unable to go back to sleep. When I tried, I ended up diving into a nightmare where I was about to graduate high school but couldn't because I somehow forgot to go to my AP English class for half the semester. How this could have happened is beyond me, but I was more than relieved to burst out of that dream and awaken back in Tokyo. Let's get this party started!

We got things underway by exploring the area. I tried several times, unsuccessfully, to convince Lisa to go to Akihabara because I had a craving to buy some games. I tried everything from "I can't read the menus at the restaurants, let's go to a district where I can" (partially true), to "I won't buy anything" (blatant lie). It didn't end up working since she knows my tricks, which was for the best regardless. We went to one of the 24-hour convenience stores to pick up some drinks, as we were already completely parched from walking around Shinjuku for an hour or so. I ended up getting Calpis (NOT Cow Piss) Water and Lisa ended up with a peach nectar. Both were delicious and we'll probably end up getting those drinks again tomorrow. With that taken care of, we ventured back out into the wilds of Japan and noticed - everything was STILL closed (by now, it was 9:30 AM).

One interesting thing about Japan - for as hard as these people work, they sure don't get up early. The Tokyo Salaryman Commuter Army (hereafter referred to as TSCA) doesn't hit the streets until 9:30 AM or later. Most of the stores don't even open until 10:30 or 11:00 AM. Restaurants are pretty much the same deal, except for the 24-hour shops like Yoshinoya (more on that in a moment), coffee places, or places that serve morning set meals to snag the commuter crowd - and there are less of those than you'd think given the size of said commuter crowd.

As two fully rested gaijin who were up since daybreak courtesy of jet lag, we found the late opening of the stores to be more than a minor inconvenience - it was a down right pain in the ass. Lisa got frustrated that we weren't "doing anything interesting", I got frustrated because there was nothing interesting to do. After a little back-and-forth, we decided the best course of action would be to grab a bite to eat and go back to the hotel to wait out the store openings. Unfortunately, we ran into a small snafu. You see, a lot of these smaller chains in Japan don't have English menus, kana menus, or even hiragana menus... that's right. The moment you step in the door of one of these places you are most likely going to be _blasted_ with a full 100% Kanji menu. For a person like me who can actually read some kanji and all the kana, this is a huge pain in the ass, because not only can I not read half the menu, the parts I can read I'm not even sure I'm pronouncing (and thus ordering) correctly! And unfortunately, the only place that seemed to be open at the time - Yoshinoya (a big chain) - was currently up to its ears in TSCA and I wasn't about to go in there and try my best gaijin deer-in-headlights impression.

Needless to say this was frustrating - but I had a plan. We went back to the hotel and I installed RikaiChan (a kanji dictionary/lookup tool) on this laptop. Then I pulled up Yoshinoya's menu from their website and went to town. From this I was able to deduce the items we wanted (gyudon/beef rice bowl) and the size (small). Then it was easy-peasy from there. We charged in, gaijin-smashed our way to the seats, and I spoke up clearly:

"Nami-gyudon wo futatsu kudasai."

Easy as that. Within five minutes we were chowing down on the BEST $2.80 meal in the world. Take THAT, Sam's Club Pizza. If only Rochester had a Yoshinoya. I can dream, ne?

Unfortunately, when it came time to pay I was stuck with a huge handful of different coins, which the guy at the counter started plucking from (without my permission I might add, I was perfectly capable of counting it out myself). Accidentally, he grabbed a rogue penny still left over from when I was in the US (mistaking it for a 10 yen coin), and stopped us at the door. I was really embarrassed, even though it wasn't techically my fault. I handed him the 10 yen and we were out the door.

We walked around a bit more, found some game centers. I got to play Tatsunoko Vs Capcom arcade version (actually the Wii version is superior) and even Gaijin Smashed the hell out of a local player using my team of Ryu and Morrigan. Yep. I beat a Japanese man - at a fighting game! Amazing, I know. Unfortunately, he put in another coin, causing a rematch, and he unleashed his latent Nihonjin Smackdown Power(tm) using a team of Yatterman and Batsu. Never in my LIFE have I played anyone who loves to use low jab so often. There was no way to knock that guy up in the air for my Combo of Doom. So I lost, and then played some BlazBlue (actually not as good as I thought it would be) and Otomedius (still crazy fun). We went upstairs soon after that and tried out DDR X, which in this arcade had an entire setup which both flashed large sets of stage lights (not just the ones on the machine - these were hooked up to the sides too) and fans blowing on the players. It was easily the most comfortable game of DDR I've ever played. Not sure what I think of the new interface though. It all seems a bit - much - like it's compensating for something...

Back to the hotel for a bit of rest, and then to Yadobashi Camera to look at game prices. One thing to keep in mind here if you're a gamer traveling in Japan: EVERYONE SETS THEIR OWN PRICE. In the three places I've already been, I've seen price differences from a few hundred up to a couple thousand yen - so make sure you shop around, especially if you plan on buying used games. Anyways, I found some stuff I want, but I put off buying it until the trip to Akihabara tomorrow, since I want to make sure I'm getting the best deal.

We then were off to meet Satoshi at Takadanobaba station. I hadn't seen him since his last visit to Rochester, and since he was promoted he's not on rotation to travel over there anymore, so it was nice to see him. We got coffee to catch up, and then went to a Yakiniku restaurant. Now, for those unfamiliar with Yakiniku, it works like this. They bring a charcoal grill to the table. You order raw meat and veggies. You cook said raw meat and veggies on the grill. It's delicious and not very expensive - especially when sharing. This was my first time trying beef tongue, which actually (aside from being a little chewy) tastes like - you guessed it - beef. It wasn't bad at all. Lisa was a bit hesitant at first but ended up trying it as well.

After dinner we went to Shibuya for karaoke. Shibuya is the young peoples' district where people go to unwind after work. It's a cheaper, younger Roppongi, I suppose. We met Jun-san, Nobu-san, and two people I hadn't met before: Misa-san and Aya-san for karaoke. Note: it's really good to see that IBM is hiring women into technical positions. Misa and Aya are both technical/semi-technical workers, and there is a general attitude that companies in Japan will only hire men for technical positions (hiring most women as OL - office lady - secretary jobs), so I'm very glad to see this is changing.

But anyways, back to Karaoke. Each floor of the place we went was "themed". There was Cinderella, Moon Princess (a Japanese fable), Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. Our karaoke booth was on the Snow White floor. Um...OK??? Fuzzy animals and bright vistas? At a karaoke bar?

Not a chance.

I don't know what version of Snow White the Japanese read, or who the hell translated it into Japanese - but whoever did must have been on imported opium, because as far as I know, Snow White has nothing to do with the Seven Deadly Sins or gothic poetry - were the dwarves really that evil???

This was on the wall of our karaoke booth - an advertisement for one of the drinks available at the bar: Pride Tonic. There was also Sloth Fizz, Red Envy, etc, and each one had a corresponding gothic Engrish poem on the walls of the hallway.. But this one was especially blatant:

I had to explain to our hosts why Lisa and I were laughing when we saw it. All we could say is that there are a lot of people in America who would have been disturbed and/or offended by that poem.

We sang karaoke. Lisa did amazing. I sucked monkey butt. That's about all I can say there :).

And with that...yeah, I need sleep.

Chapter 1: Arrival

2009-04-14T04:44:00.000-07:00

Today started out early enough, finishing up packing, saying goodbye to the kitteh, and then riding the shuttle up to the Cities. Although we got there within plenty of time for the flight itself, we ended up getting there with a bit TOO MUCH time, so we spent some time walking around the airport looking for anything remotely interesting when we stumbled upon a Guitar Hero ARCADE cabinet.

Wait, really? Am I seeing things? I thought this was just announced?! Well, I'm not a huge Guitar Hero fan by any stretch of the imagination, but this is a chance to try out something new that a lot of other people haven't had a chance to see yet. Thus, it's a chance I couldn't really pass up. So I put two bucks in the machine (one for me, one for Lisa) and we get ready to rock out. Much to our dismay, when we finally got to the song selection menu, we got a big shock.

Most of the songs that people would deem "worth" playing were listed under the "premium" category. Meaning, the machine was asking for $2 more in order to "unlock" the song. What kind of bull%&^* is this crap?! Is this how low you've sunken, Activision? Charging us $1 for a single song, and then locking out half the songlist unless the user pays more money upfront? Yep. Sounds about right. In fact, the whole experience was a big mistake, as I have a strong suspicion that this gaming blunder might have turned Lisa off entirely to the idea of game centers. Damn.

So we finish up and begin walking towards gate G4, where our flight was boarding. Surprisingly, boarding took much less time than expected, although the plane was quite a bit larger than I was expecting too, with a lower and upper deck.

I'd like to say the flight went well, but that was not to be... for a number of reasons:

1.) Although we were obviously in coach, NWA/Delta's idea of international travel in coach is substantially different than United's. Last year, United not only gave me quite a bit more legroom than NWA, but also every passenger (yes, even in coach) got their own video screen with several selections of movies and programs. Not here. Oh no. You get nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. You better have brought something to amuse yourself, otherwise it's going to be a VERY long flight...

2.) The previously mentioned lack of legroom combined with a person sitting in front of me who I shall deem "Recliner Bob". Good old Bob decides, 20 minutes into the flight that he wants to get some shuteye. Attempting to get comfortable to do so, he presses the recline button on his seat and leans back, sending the metal part of the seat straight into my already scrunched knees. Oh, NO, YOU DID NOT. Oh yes, he did. And when he hit my knees, he thought the seat was broken, NOT THAT IT WAS PINCHING SOMEONE'S KNEES, and decides to keep ramming his seat back attempting to get the most possible space. Well, Bob, sorry, but the laws of physics don't exactly allow your seat to go THROUGH my legs. I was so pissed. I gave him the finger several times from behind (which he didn't see of course), and bit my lip. Two hours later when they finally served us food for the first time, he sat back up. And when he did my legs shifted into battle position, ready to defend what was left of any slight HINT of legroom.

3.) They fed us well. Almost too well. The food wasn't great quality, but we were all stuffed, uncomfortable, and cramped in a very small space. I tried to get some sleep, but didn't have much success at all.

Overall, this flight gets a 2...out of 5.

Finally landing in Tokyo, my Japanese really came in handy when attempting to change money and get through customs and onto a Shinjuku-bound bus. The busride was long but interesting, and at this point we're both so completely exhausted that I have no desire whatsoever to finish this entry. I'm going to crash now, I promise my later entries will make up for this disappointment...

Two Days 'til Tokyo: Gaijin Blackout Countered

2009-04-11T22:59:00.000-07:00

Today is the second-to-last day before the Tokyo trip today, and I'm really starting to get restless. Today, however, was an adventure in itself. I already mentioned before that I had plans to attend Distant Worlds: Music From Final Fantasy in Minneapolis today, and I also mentioned how I was going to attempt the world-famous Gaijin Blackout on the one and only Nobuo Uematsu in an attempt to get information regarding the theme song for Final Fantasy XIII. As you can probably guess from the victory pose in the picture above... well... Uematsu, 1; Angsty Gaijin, 0. But then again, I'm probably getting ahead of myself...

We actually got to the Cities around 4pm and met some friends for sushi at one of the better All You Can Eat places in Minneapolis. Now, under normal circumstances I would advise the majority of people to stay away from AYCE sushi. Usually the quality isn't there, the fish isn't fresh, and you're DEFINITELY going to be sorry the next day when it comes out the other end. But luckily, Ichiban isn't one of those places. It's good sushi. And since neither of us had anything to eat up until that point, we ate VERY well. I tried a test-run of my Gaijin Blackout on the sushi chef, in order to special request some tamagoyaki (egg sashimi) which worked flawlessly. I managed to provoke a response of "Fluent Japanese Barrage" which I managed to parry successfully with a well-placed (understanding) nod, and was soon enjoying tamagoyaki. Win.

Oh, I almost forgot. Though I explained the Gaijin Blackout on a previous entry, here's a quick reminder (from GaijinSmash.net):

Why didn't the dude understand me, then? It's a side-effect of the Gaijin Smash, the Gaijin Blackout. The Japanese person is so flustered, so mind-blown over you not being Japanese, that they instantly become incapable of normal human functions. A Gaijin can speak perfect Japanese to them, and they would fail to comprehend even one word. I think you could even punch a Gajin Blackout-afflicted Japanese right in the face, and they would be too flabbergasted to fall down.

This will come into play later. Anyways, after we stuffed our faces with sushi goodness, we went to Gameworks to kill some time and allow our friends to pick up their tickets. We all got bored at Gameworks pretty quickly, since the game lineup hasn't changed at all in the last two years since I've been there. There was one new game, 2Spicy, which can be described as a "street" themed versus rail shooter. The mechanics actually work surprisingly well, and it was quite fun.
Despite that, it didn't take long to become bored in Gameworks, and we headed to the concert hall soon after.

When arriving, it turned out they were already letting people in, so we didn't have long to wait. I got in line and purchased an overpriced T-Shirt and program booklet ($50)...typical Square-Enix tax at work.

The concert itself was amazing. Though a lot of the music that was played was pretty much expected, and they had technical difficulties with the projector during Dear Friends...when they finally got it back online, they were showing video from FFVI. Wrong game, geniuses! (Dear Friends is from FFV, by the way). The best part of the concert, by far, was the live performance of Maria and Draco. The old lady singing for Maria got so into the role, she grabbed the hand of the young guy singing for Draco and looked into his eyes. Poor "Draco" didn't know how to take it and limply held her hand awkwardly, trying to finish the song without incident. The look on his face was priceless.

Immediately after the expected One-Winged Angel finale, it became clear that far more people had purchased tickets to the meet and greet than either one of us expected. They began to gather us at stage right of the theatre. It appears that at least ONE-THIRD of the main level of the theatre had tickets to the reception, and because of this it turned into a cattle call really quickly as the line grew - eventually expanding out the door of the theatre. "Yay, just like ACEN", I muttered to myself. I wasn't wrong. Only this time, no line nazis.

None of the security guys seemed to have any clue what to do with us, a massive queue of otaku with premium reception tickets. One of them told the entire second half of the line to go sit down and wait to be called (YEAH, RIGHT, like that was gonna happen) while another seemed to be trying to find a way to get the line moving. Now, my girlfriend and I were standing about halfway up the line, right near one of the emergency exit doors, next to one of the line "nazis". This wonderful security guy decides he's going to start leading people down to the reception - STARTING FROM THAT DOORWAY. So basically, within the span of 5 seconds, we became the first people in line - much to the chagrin of all the people in front of us clamoring to get backstage. HAHA! Finally, revenge for the Tower Records debacle that was the last Nobuo signing.

Surprisingly, the community theatres I've worked with have better dressing rooms and backstage green rooms than the Orpheum. I'm absolutely surprised that famous/semi famous actors actually get ready and put shows on in this theatre. Backstage is pretty much a dump. It's not dirty, it's just very...empty. No amenities whatsoever, and the room where they had Nobuo and Arnie's table set up was a gigantic, empty "basement".

So we get down there, the first ones in line - and the band members are just finishing up getting their autographs. Good old "Draco" is getting his music book signed by Uematsu-san (ignoring Arnie Roth altogether, which seems to be a pretty common pattern...poor Arnie). So "Draco" gets his picture taken, and then a few more bandmates go up and begin chatting up Uematsu-san, and at this point it's pretty clear to me that he can't understand a single word they're saying to him, so he follows up with the typical Japanese "smile and nod". Sitting next to Uematsu is a young Japanese salaryman with dyed hair and a spotless black suit. This guy followed Uematsu out during his concert introductions with a camera in his face, and was the sole member of Uematsu's "entourage". My girlfriend referred to this guy as Uematsu's "Metrosexual Aide". Originally I thought he was supposed to be his translator, but the guy didn't do any translating whatsoever. In fact, his only job as far as I could tell was to record Uematsu walking around and waving at the crowd. I still have no idea what that guy was doing there, but he certainly wasn't translating anything.

So as the bandmates are talking, I look behind me and notice the rest of the line is following us in. We're first. I stand there for a few seconds like a deer-in-headlights, as I got no response from the minimal security "force" as when it was OK to approach the table. Now, being a well-trained ACEN lemming, I know perfectly well that bum-rushing a guest table before you're supposed to is a bad idea, and I figured I'd have to wait for SOMEONE to give the OK or they'd have a hundred otaku swarming poor Nobuo all at once. But...the security force was nowhere to be found, and after a few seconds my girlfriend prods me and says "go ahead".

OK. I guess. It's go time.

I hand Nobuo my ($30) program and ask, "Would you sign this please?" in perfect Japanese. To which he replies something like "Oh, Japanese... wow!" and signs his name. This is the opening I've been waiting for...time for a Level 3 EX Gaijin Blackout!!!

"So," I say, again in perfect Japanese: "Do you have any plans to write the main theme for Final Fantasy XIII"?

WHAM. I got him. For a second. He starts to respond "Et...to", turns to Mr. Metrosexual Aide, who didn't seem capable of giving him any help with formulating a response...then he turns back to me and counters - no - completely REFLECTS my Gaijin Blackout with playful Engrish: "No Commento". Stunned, I had no idea what to say. Originally, I WANTED to say "If you do end up writing it, could you please make sure there's an English version too?" But the Japanese words weren't coming to me. At all. I was blacked out. Flawless victory, Mr. Uematsu. Flawless victory.

After getting my stuff signed by Arnie too (see, I'm a nice guy, I didn't forget him) and getting my picture taken, my girlfriend tries briefly conversing with Uematsu saying that we met him once before at PLAY! in Chicago with Angela Aki. But it's pretty clear he doesn't understand a word of it, and yet again Mr. Metrosexual Aide is unable to assist with translation. I couldn't help either, as I was still reeling from Uematsu's Level 3 Focus Nihonjin Blackout.

But overall, it was a great night, and I'm really looking forward to Tokyo.

Gaijin Blackout counter...one day I will get my revenge.

Impatience and a respite

2009-04-09T18:10:00.000-07:00

Still making preparations, and the start of the trip can't come soon enough. I've all but completely checked out as far as work is concerned. I'm going to sign on tomorrow, get a few things done, and that will be it. No more work - for two weeks. In all honesty I probably need to spend more time cleaning and packing than I do working, since most people are going to be gone for Good Friday anyways.

This year we were thankfully spared from going anywhere for Easter - and thus also spared from the girlfriend's extended family drama - which is a long story but to put it in the simplest terms possible, my girlfriend's mom and aunt do not get along. And they attack each other passive-aggressively, which makes family gatherings...interesting. For her grandparents' 50th anniversary a year or so ago, the aunt made it clear what she thought of us by sitting my girlfriend, me, her parents and brother, and nephew all downstairs in the basement for dinner while everyone else ate upstairs around the kitchen table.

"We're out of room, so you're eating downstairs". SHENANIGANS I SAY. I was even slightly offended and usually I'm pretty low-key about these kinds of things. It's not like I'd have much to say to anyone at the table anyways, but the way the seats were divided it was blatantly clear what was going on. So every Easter for the last three years we've gone over to the aunt's house, and each time, while bearable, is incredibly awkward. And as much as I'd like to say it was the aunt's fault completely, a lot of the blame falls on my girlfriend's mom - who simply cannot get over the "favoritism" her mother showed for her sister, allegedly. This is what I hear, anyways. They're all nice people and I hold no hard feelings towards any of them, it's just an interesting mix. You know what they say: you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.

My family has its own drama and its own feuds, but for the most part people just don't talk about it. The biggest issue involves a feud between my own mother and aunt, which I don't really know the full details of, and my aunt ended up skipping out on her own stepmother (my grandmother)'s funeral due to this feud - which is a real shame. I really hope my sister and I are always on good terms, I'd hate to deal with a lot of the crap that goes on in people's families. If someone has a problem, let's talk about it and try to fix it. It's awkward for a few minutes, but I'd rather have someone tell me I was being an ass, than be completely oblivious to it and have people making comments about something I did or said behind my back. You can't fix what you don't know is broken, that's for sure.

So on Saturday we get to go to Minneapolis for yet another Final Fantasy concert. Now keep in mind, I already went to a Nobuo signing in Chicago and two FF concerts there, but with one in Minneapolis, there's just no excuse for me NOT to go. Especially when I was able to get meet-and-greet tickets for the reception afterwards... a perfect opportunity to perform a Level 3 Ultra Gaijin Blackout on Mr. Uematsu and trick him into telling me whether or not he's composing the theme for Final Fantasy XIII. What is a Gaijin Blackout, you ask? It's simple.

Japanese people, by nature, do not expect foreigners to know any Japanese - AT ALL. Anything beyond "karaoke", "arigatou", "sushi", and "konnichi wa" causes a null pointer exception in their brains.

In other words (for you non-programming folks out there), to get hit with well-executed Japanese from a gaijin source actually confuses them! More often than not, this causes a loss for words and they don't really know how to respond to the Japanese-speaking gaijin... "gaijin speaking Japanese...? Does not compute... WTF... uh...uhm...et to...". This lowers their J-defenses, which is a sure-fire way of getting information (i.e. TRUTH) out of a guarded Japanese person. In this case, theoretically, a flawlessly-executed Gaijin Blackout might force Uematsu on the defense and the theoretical NDA he probably/definitely signed about his work on XIII may not be the first thing that pops into his mind as a response, and he may actually tell the truth. It might not work, and I'll have to make sure I can Gaijin Blackout him when he's away from his translator (Japanese that are fluent in English are obviously immune to the Gaijin Blackout) but it's worth a try. If successful, it will be my first ever Gaijin Smash attempt. If I can get something out of him, you can bet it'll show up right here on this blog!

And as I finish this entry, I sit here playing with my new digital camera that will be put to use on the trip to Tokyo. Here's a picture of my kitteh, Hikari.

4 Days Until Tokyo...

2009-04-09T12:49:00.001-07:00

I'm just about finished up at work now, and I've taken to completely slacking off. It's not so much that I don't have anything to do as much as it is that starting on a bunch of stuff right before vacation will really get me nowhere, so I'm better off hitting the code hard as soon as I return, as opposed to the two days before I leave.

I've spent the last hour or so scouring the intarwebz for maps of the areas where we will be frequenting, in hopes that it will help with navigation purposes. I stumbled on a color-coded map of Akihabara sorting out all the shops by type and location (all the game centers and game shops are highlighted one color, the gundam figure shops another, etc.)

Since Lisa and I are only really interested in the game shops, it'll be a lot easier to navigate with an idea of where we're going. Akiba is going to be one of the few multiple stop locations on our trip, and I want to get the most out of the time we have there, too. I found the location for Super Potato - arguably THE most insanely awesome retro store in the world. I can't wait to stop in there, although at this point I really have no idea what kind of items I'll buy.

At this point it's almost time to just settle in and prep for the ride. Saturday is the Final Fantasy concert, which will eat up most of the day, and then Sunday is a brief respite before the storm. GoPlanit.com has been a HUGE help, as it seems everyone I know in Tokyo seems to want to hang out with Lisa and I this time around, so having a set schedule makes it a little easier to make sure I don't ruin the "VACATION" by planning too much stuff. One of my favorite things last year about my vacation to Japan was simply walking around or riding the train to see what we could find...without worrying about having to be a particular place at a particular time....so I'd prefer not to bog us down in schedules.

I need to start cleaning the house, the last thing I want is to wait until the last day to get things done and have an "OH SHIT" moment right before we have to leave to catch the shuttle to the airport. As long as we don't forget the yen and our passports, everything else is replaceable.

Won't be long now.

Countdown START... 5 days until Tokyo

2009-04-08T15:12:00.000-07:00

Well, it begins.

I've been waiting for a long time, but I'm finally going on vacation. Between the chaos at work coming from new responsibilities coupled with mass layoffs, and the flare-ups of my migraine condition, I've really needed this.

I've spent the last few weeks trying to get the schedule straightened out. It looks like I'll be meeting with people from IBM during the first few days of the trip, my uncle's coworkers over the weekend, and then have the next few days for travel to Kyoto, the Ramen Museum at Shin Yokohama, lots of Akihabara, NINJA Akasaka, and whatever else we decide to do.

I've made all the reservations, I suppose the last few things I need to do are:

Wrap up stuff at work (just finished my automation...YES!)
Call the credit card companies to activate my cards for overseas travel (I hate the phone...)
Obtain gifts for the folks that will be showing us around (Need something for Jean Francois, something for Satoshi, and a few little things I can give out should I need to...)
Begin putting stuff together (clothes, gifts, stuff to bring)
Decide on the final list of stuff to buy...

Well...about that last one:

FF Advent Children Complete with FFXIII Demo
Shirokishi Monogatari PS3 (it's _CHEAP_!)

JPWii / Advanced Classic Controller / probably a game or two, but nothing comes to mind
JPS2 / Arcana Heart 2 SUGOI! / Fate://Unlimited Codes / + more cheapstuffs
JP360 / DeathSmiles / Otomedius

Gundam vs Gundam/Eloquent Fist PSP

Hori HRAP (for Soup)
Kurukuru Kururin GBA (for axl)
Rhythm Tengoku GBA (for axl)

このリストは少し長すぎるかな。。。円がちょっと。。。
...I think I need more yen...XD
Good thing I have the big suitcase...

JRPG Creation for Dummies: Tutorial

2009-04-02T14:14:00.000-07:00

FAQ:

Why didn't you pass this out at the panel? Why did we have to come to your stupid blog to get the goods?!

ごめんけど、しかたがない。このチュトリアルはちょっと長いから、大変でした。プリントできません。

In other words, it was too long. But I can get more and better information to you guys this way, and it provides an easy way to contact me if you have additional questions.

What is RPG Maker 2003?

An oldie-but-goodie RPG Creation Engine by game company Enterbrain. Although similar to the ones released for the Playstation and Playstation 2, the battle system and scripting language in RPG Maker 2003 is both simple and powerful. The fact it's a PC program allows for easy importing of resources.

Most of us otaku have dreamt of being able to bring our fanfiction or original stories to life in JRPG form (you KNOW you have, don't deny it). This engine allows you to do just that. It's complicated enough to be powerful, while simple enough to learn in a relatively short amount of time.

I'm a baka when it comes to programming. Is it really even worth my time?

YES! As a matter of fact, anyone with a little patience and creativity can craft a JRPG using this engine. Admittedly, it's a lot easier to find resources than make your own, but the engine provides all that you need.

I'm a baka when it comes to drawing. I can't do art. Is this really even worth my time?

DEFINITELY! There are plenty of resources included in the program as well as capacity to import other stuff you find around the intarwebz. Of course, you can always make your own too, should you be artistically inclined.

Why 2003? Doesn't RPG Maker XP have an official English release? Why use its predecessor for this panel?

I've tinkered with the official English release of RPG Maker XP, and although the engine is more powerful and flexible than RPG Maker 2003's engine, it is also a lot less user-friendly. As opposed to 2003, which uses an event-based scripting language, XP contains an entire programming language. Since this panel is meant for beginners, XP really isn't the best place to start when crafting your masterpiece. If you're familiar with code though, go for it.

Where can I get the program?

Here: http://www.geocities.com/rpgmlinks/rpgm2k3.html
I'm not going to be handing out copies, since the copy I have is a fan translation.

Where can I get charset/faceset/music/tileset resources?
Again, check the site above. Since a lot of resources are creations derived from existing games, I'm not providing direct links.

1.) Project Creation

File -> New Project

Enter a Name and Location for your game.

2.) Map Creation

In order to generate your first map, open your project and right-click the file icon on the bottom-left corner of the interface (labeled with the name of your game). Select New Map. You will then see the following screen:

You can do a lot from here, but the main items you want to consider as basics are:

Name - The name of your map (for easy reference within a project)

Tileset - The tileset that will be used for your map. Note that a tileset is a set of items and textures that are placed on a grid to create a map layout (as will be referenced below).

Dimensions - Each map is a grid. So the default demensions are 20 boxes long by 15 boxes high.

Enemy Encounters - This is where you set the monster groups you'd like to appear as random encounters on this map. In this case, we don't want any. Click OK and you'll have your map.

You can place objects from the left-hand side into your map using the interface above. The pencil icon allows you to place single-squares, the gray rectangle allows selection of map elements, the magnifying glass zooms using mouse buttons, the square and circle arrow icons allow placement of objects in a square or circle pattern respectively, and the paint can "fills" the entire area with the selected tile(s).

Tiles are multiple-select, so you can highlight a bunch at a time for placement...like so:

Placing the map is as easy as placing these tiles on the grid. There are three layers of tiles: the lower tile layer (represented by the green icon), the upper tile layer (represented by the blue icon), and the event tile layer (represented by the orange icon). Each tile layer has a different set of objects (though the event layer tends to overlap with the upper tile layer). If I select the event tile layer icon, look what happens to the interface:

The tileset changed. Each tileset has different objects for each of the three layers, so this provides a lot of flexibility when determining how to create your maps.

For now, switch back to the bottom layer and add some grass and perhaps a few stones and water to your map. It should look something like this:

3.) Character Setup via Database

In order to set many options for your game, that is create and set character sprites, skills, items, levels, etc., you will need the Database. To reach it, go to Tools -> Database. There are far too many options to discuss in detail here, so let's just stick to the basics. For starters, the Hero tab:

This is where you create your characters. The ArraySize button determines the number of hero (playable) characters in your game. There are some default characters created when starting a new project with RPG Maker. You can modify character parameters, etc. from here as well. The RTP (the set of items already present in RPG Maker in order for you to play with) has a bunch of character sprites, battle sprites, and facesets for you to play with, but you can also import your own).

In order to make a playable game, two more items must be taken care of. First, go to the System tab and ensure your first hero is selected in the Starting Party list.

Now exit the database and select the Event layer. Right click and select "Place Party Starting Position".

This will spawn your character at that particular location when starting the game. For now, place it as shown.

There! Now you can test your game! To do this, click the big yellow arrow. Say yes to save your changes, and you're off! Select New Game from the menu, and you should be up and running.

All you can do at this point is walk around your map for now, but that's a start. See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?

Now that we got the basics out of the way, it's time to teach you some cool stuff. Instead of boring you with mounds of instructions, though, I'll PROVIDE the code and just explain it slightly. First, the talking NPC.

4.) The Talking NPC

First enter the event layer and highlight the spot two squares north of your hero's starting position. This will take you into the Event Editor.

Name your event Talking_NPC and click Set under Event Graphic to select an icon for your NPC. For simplicity, I will use the first character in the "hero 1" sprite set. This is included in the RTP.

Now under movement type, I select "Random" to make him walk around. There's no rhyme or reason to the pattern for this option, just like with most old-school RPG townsfolk.

Click New Page at the top of the dialog to ensure your event has two pages (this will be so the speech will change when speaking to the NPC a second time, as discussed below).

Now, copy the following code into the first page ( by highlighting an empty line of code in the Event Commands window)... this should take you to the Event Commands dialog, which contains lots and lots of options. For now, concern yourself with just the Face Graphics button (third button from the top) and the Message button (first button from the top). Click the Face Graphics button, then the Set button, then select the first face graphic from faceset Chara 1, 1 from the RTP. Click OK. Next, click the Message button and enter the text "Hi, I'm a talking NPC!" and click OK. Click the Message button again and enter the text: "In order to make me say something different, I need a switch!", then click OK again. Click OK to exit Event Commands.

After that, your event editor screen should look like this (sorry for the blur):

<>Change Face Graphics: Chara1, 1, Left,

<>Message: Hi, I'm a talking NPC!

<>Message: In order to make me say something

: :different, I need a switch.

Now, highlight the last line as shown above and enter the Event Commands window again. Choose Switch Operations (should be the sixth button from the top) and click it. Note the Message and Face Graphics buttons are how you entered the code shown above, in case that wasn't clear from earlier instructions.

Now, click the ... next to the Single Switch option, which should take you to the Switch array, allowing you to create a new Switch for this character. For simplicity's sake, name it "TALKING_NPC". You shouldn't need to increase the array size, as this will be your first Switch. My screen looks a bit different from yours since I have a few other switches spread across this project already.

Now click OK. Your newly created switch should be highlighted in the Switch Operations dialog. This is what we want.

Click OK again.

Your Event Commands should now look like this (commands listed below, to make up for compression blur >_<):

<>Change Face Graphics: Chara1, 1, Left,

<>Message: Hi, I'm a talking NPC!

<>Message: In order to make me say something

: :different, I need a switch.

<>Switch Operation: [0001:TALKING_NPC] ON

Now, since we created the second page of the event, click it. This will take you to a new Event Commands window. This time, we're going to utilize the Preconditions to make the Event Commands listed on this page occur ONLY if the TALKING_NPC switch is turned on. Do this by clicking the checkbox next to the first "Switch" Precondition, and select TALKING_NPC as your switch.

Set the event graphic to be the same hero as the first page (YES, you have to set graphics for events for each individual page. This comes in HANDY when doing items such as treasure chests, that have different graphics depending on whether they are open or closed!). Set movement type to "Random" again, otherwise your poor NPC will stop running around once you talk to him twice. Then enter some message text like that shown below (you can use Copy and Paste on Event Commands if you don't wish to re-click the buttons on the Event Commands dialog):

<>Change Face Graphics: Chara1, 1, Left,

<>Message: Hi, I'm a talking NPC!

<>Message: Wait a minute, didn't you already

: :talk to me?

Click OK and test your game again. Don't forget to talk to the NPC twice!

With that, you've been introduced to Events, and can make talking NPCs. Next, for the treasure chest...which really isn't that much different from what we've already done with the talking NPC!

5.) The Treasure Chest

I'll screen capture the event commands for the treasure chest, and then explain the new parts.

A treasure chest will need two switches and three pages. The first page will simply do a switch operation to call the second page, which adds the item to the inventory and changes the graphic from a closed treasure chest to an open treasure chest. The switches I created for this event are: TREASUREDEMO_1 and TREASURE_OPEN. The graphics used for the event are in the Object1 tileset of the RTP.

Select a location for your treasure chest and create a new event.

Here is the first page:

<>Switch Operation: [0002:TREASUREDEMO_1] ON

<>Call Event: This Event[2]

And the second page (note that the graphic is actually the same as the first page, but the facing is different... in order for the treasure chest to appear open, select Right facing for the treasure icon rather than Down. Don't forget your precondition for TREASUREDEMO_1. The next switch operation will allow the final page's text to display if the user tries to open the already-open treasure chest. You use the Item Management event command to add items to your inventory. You can choose the sound effect for opening the treasure chest, it isn't displayed in the event code but I used "Item 2".

<>Change Face Graphics: Erase

<>Move Event: Hero, Sound Effect

<>Message: Potion...GET!

<>Change Items: Potion 1 Add

<>Switch Operation: [0003:TREASURE_OPEN] ON

And finally:

<>Change Face Graphics: Erase

<>Message: It's open.

Now test it out. You should have a working treasure chest that adds a potion to your inventory, and tells you the chest is already open if you try to open it a second time.

7.) Miscellaneous Commands

Between the Talking NPC and Treasure Chest examples, you should be well on your way to understanding how events operate in RPG Maker...but there is so much more that events can do. The last section of this little document will point to some other event commands which have lots and lots of potential for interesting applications:

a.) Show Choices: This allows the formation of a Yes/No dialog and allows the user to make a choice. Separate event code is run depending on whether a user selects the Yes option or the No option. A more generic (and programmer-esque) structure is also provided in the "Conditional Branch" event command - which allows you to make If -> Else seletion structures. Loops are also provided in the "Loop" event command.

b.) Play BGM/Fade BGM/Play Memorized BGM: Allows you to change background music options.

c.) Tint/Flash/Shake/Pan Screen: Built-in special effects. You'll see that I used these several times in the Detour demo to provide greater variety in the dialogs. These are especially important when doing cutscenes with lots of interacting events.

d.) Show Battle Animation: Similar to what happens in the Final Fantasy old-school RPGs, this allows you to project a battle animation on a map screen as opposed to a battle screen. You can use this for dramatic situations in "cutscene" dialogs, or as effects with various purposes at other times (like blowing up boulders currently impeding a player's progress).

e.) Enemy Encounter: Generates an enemy encounter during an event. Great for "staged" battles during cutscenes, or battles with bosses visible from the map screen.

f.) Move event: Very flexible, allows the moving or teleportation of events. Useful in cutscenes and in other, slightly more devious and less obvious, ways.

Capcom DLC: Shoryukens of the Wallet

2009-03-13T12:07:00.001-07:00

Now, normally I'm not one to complain about DLC. When the 360 first launched, I found myself buying gobs of the stuff. But back then, most of the items on offer were significant additions to the games - extra quests, characters, levels, and the like. But then something started to happen. First with EA and some other American publishers eager to bilk consumers out of a couple extra bucks on top of a $60 game...this later spread to the Japanese publishers, on some of their more significant titles. It began with Horse Armor, and is now encompassing maps, modes of gameplay, and more. This is all well and good, except for one thing. Most of this content is ALREADY ON THE DISC YOU PURCHASE.

Fortunately for Capcom, in SFIV's case, the promised GAMEPLAY-related DLC will be free to the masses (the recently announced Championship mode, which adds much needed multiplayer enhancements). That said, it doesn't excuse them from this grotesque practice. They stuffed the SFIV release disc full of extra costumes and are releasing the unlock keys to XBL and PSN on a weekly basis. To get the extra costumes for all the characters, you'll need to shell out $15 when all is said and done. W...T...F?! These are the same costumes, I might add, that were unlocked via time release in the original arcade version of SFIV, and they aren't available in the console version without shelling out a grand total of 1/4 the MSRP of the game.

This brings up a very interesting debate. If we buy a game disc, do we have access to all its content? Many consumers would argue "yes", the companies would definitely argue "no". Companies in the digital distribution era are VERY set on the idea of selling you a "license" as opposed to "software". Doing so allows for two major benefits: first, they can cut their production costs by shipping a disc containing more content than the user paid for in its purchase price and allow the user to unlock it later by paying the fee, and second, it also allows for a deterrant to resale (by limiting access to extra content to those who purchase the game new, and denying access to those who bought secondhand versions). Many businesses, including Microsoft and IBM, will ship discs containing multiple versions of a product and will only allow the user to install what they paid for. So in some ways, this could be argued as the same practice at work here. That said, something still stinks when you pay $60 for a "complete game" and then find out features shipped in the final product were deliberately made inaccessible so they can be bought later. The most brazen examples of this practice actually come from "Scam"co Bandai, who locked Yoda and Vader to their non-native consoles as well as quite a few of the custom armor pieces in Soulcalibur IV...entire levels in Beautiful Katamari...and level-ups in Tales of Vesperia.

User complaints would certainly become less common if companies stopped releasing unlock keys (rather than content itself) to the digital marketplaces. Developers: if you want to charge extra for stuff you already developed, fine... put the content itself up for release, not an unlock key. Leave it out of the final game build. At the very least, you'd receive less complaints from users, they'd be none the wiser that it was developed in advance of the game's release. They're having issues with this very problem right now. Capcom is defending its addition of RE5's versus mode as premium DLC - stating that although it uses resources from the original game, it required additional time and effort to develop these extra modes. Great. That's fine. But when the mode finally is released in a couple of weeks, everyone will know immediately whether they're downloading an extra mode or a 128kb unlock key for content that players should already be able to access. If they're smart, they'll keep it out of the game's final build to avoid the tidal wave of negative publicity that would surely result from those who bought the "add-on". "LOLZ. It was already there!!! GOT UR MONEYZ ANYWAYZZ!!!"

If I were more brazen, I'd be looking for another way to deal with this problem - a technological solution, in fact. There has to be a way to obtain these unlock keys by looking through the source code of the disc and then downloading them explicitly into your console - bypassing the marketplaces altogether. I'm not sure what kind of security measures they have in place for DLC, but I do know it is very possible to burn certain files (demos mostly) to DVD and have them play on a 360. With the right third-party software, I see no reason outright why someone wouldn't be able to "game genie" or "gameshark" the "DLC" right out of each disc. Because this could technically be classified as "STEALING" by the software license model (but not by the disc ownership model), you can bet the company releasing such a product would be facing lawsuits from all directions, which is probably why cheat devices for the next gen consoles have yet to materialize. However, the entire gaming community would thank the company that developed such a solution for keeping publishers honest. It's really easy, guys...if you're thinking about releasing DLC for your games, follow these rules:

1.) Avoid putting the content on the disc, no matter how trivial it is. If you MUST charge for DLC that's developed before the game is released, release the content to the marketplaces - don't release unlock codes. It just makes people feel ripped off.

2.) If you MUST release unlock codes, disclose it to consumers so they don't feel ripped off. It's a lot easier to feel ripped off if a consumer isn't told up front that they aren't receiving "ALL" the features of the game included in the price tag. I think most companies feel they get away with this with the "XBL Compatible" or "PSN Compatible" logos, but that's absolute shenanigans at their finest. MMO companies are forced to disclose monthly fees, so publishers should be forced to declare "premium content" that's inaccessible without paying more money to download the unlock keys.

Publishers, I'm not asking you to stop, I'm simply asking for full disclosure.

And I practice what I preach. Being a day 1 purchaser of the CE of SFIV for the PS3, I have yet to download the Brawler costume pack that came for free with my CE...because I don't want to encourage the practice. Screw it. I don't need alternate costumes for SOME of the characters - it's either all or none. I choose none.

Gaijin Superpowers

2009-03-06T07:39:00.000-08:00

While looking up our intended agenda for our whirlwind Japan trip next month, I came across something really interesting. A blog, started back in 2005 by a young African-American individual and alumnus of the JET program (for those unaware, the JET program brings foreigners with college degrees over to Japan to assist in English classes, very cool in my opinion). In any case, this blog dealt with his misadventures in Tokyo. One of the older, but more interesting, entries deals with the superpowers granted to foreigners upon stepping foot in the Japanese archipelago. Some of these are just point-blank hilarious and the sad part is, all are pretty much 100% accurate. Enjoy the descriptions and see my analysis below:

From: http://www.gaijinsmash.net

Gaijin Smash - I can't take credit for Gaijin Smash; it was my friend's creation. A Gaijin Smash is anytime a Westerner exerts inherent dominance over the Japanese people. We do what we want and they can't stop us. The Japanese people do what we want because they can't stand up to us. It's beautiful. The best way to define Gaijin Smash is through examples.

When we went out drinking one of my friends would buy the cheapest return ticket, just to get him through the gates. When we'd arrive home, his ticket triggered the gate alarms, but he'd just plow right through and keep walking. The station worker would look up, and he'd want to say something, he really did. But then he was confronted by a Gaijin walking quickly away from him. I can only imagine the thoughts running through his head. "Oh my God! Do I have to speak English? What if I make him angry? Will he eat my children?" Paralyzed, the worker can only stand there while my friend escapes. Gaijin Smash.

Or, take a look at recent current events. Japan has troops in Iraq. Japan barely has troops at all yet there they are in Iraq. Why do you think that is?

President Bush: Hey Japan, America's gonna invade Iraq. We want you to send us some troops for support.
Prime Minister Koizumi: Um, but...we don't really have an army, just a Self-Defense Force. And NOBODY here has anything to do with Iraq, the public is strongly anti-war, it's kind of pointless for us...

Bush: I don't care. Coalition of the Willing. You're coming.

Koizumi: Ok. I'm sorry for my insolence. The troops are on their way.

Bush: Oh yeah. Gaijin Smash.

For the record, the first ever Gaijin Smash recorded in history was performed by Commodore Matthew Perry in 1853. Japan closed borders and was very isolationist. Then one day, Perry rolled up demanding Japan open its borders for foreign commerce.

Perry: Hey! Open up Japan!
The Japanese: That's an interesting idea. Here's another one. How about we shuffle our feet until you get frustrated and leave?

Perry: A'ight. I'll be back.

7 months later, Perry returned with nine, count 'em, nine gunships.

Perry: Hey Japan! Open up. Or I'll blast you clear into China.
The Japanese: Aaahhhh! Mr. Perry-san, welcome to Japan! Please do come in!

Perry: Gaijin Smash.

Lest I forget, I should explain that as guests in a foreign country, we're supposed to learn and assimilate some of our host's culture and tradition. So if you are ever in a position to perform some of these attacks, you should first strike a series of stylish and overblown poses, while screaming out the attack name with all your might. Anything less is just dishonorable.

Before you actually do that though, you should smirk and explain exactly how your attack works and what you did to get it. For example, for Gaijin Smash, one might say (I still love "one might say"), "Haha, I have already won this fight. I shall now show you the awesome power of my Gaijin Smash. I acquired this attack when I was born with a bigger body than you. Over the years, I developed it by keeping up a steady diet of McDonalds, and parking in the closest spaces to wherever I went. It is the perfect attack."

Although the explanation speech works best if one of your friends who is watching gives it for you (while you maintain your smirk). In the absence of friends or onlookers you can say it yourself.

Gaijin Power - I was in a local bar with two male friends, American and Japanese. This bar is kind of known as a pick-up bar, especially for Japanese women and foreign men. Anyway, our Japanese friend spotted a cute girl. We told him to go talk to her, but he refused, saying it was pointless because he'd only fail. We tried to tell him he wouldn't know until he actually tried, but no go. "You guys don't understand," he said, "You have Gaijin Power so you have no problems getting girls."

Gaijin Power? The hell is that? This wasn't the first time I'd heard this from Japanese men, so my friend and I tried to find out more about this "Gaijin Power." We both set out and, working as a Dynamic Duo (Holy Japanese sluts, Batman!), we found pairs of girls and tried to talk to them. We were pretty unsuccessful, which leads me to believe our Japanese friend was full of shit. Or maybe we just suck.

Gaijin Optic Blast - This is usually more of a counter-attack. We foreigners get stared at. A lot. Gaijin Optic Blast is the wonderful technique of staring back. It's so easy, yet so effective! As soon as they realize we're staring back, they look away. It's like a projectile version of the Gaijin Smash. The only thing is, you have to keep up the Gaijin Optic Blast, because as soon as they think you are looking away, they resume staring. Do it right though, and once is a charm.

On bad days, I'll spread my Gaijin Perimeter, and combo a Gaijin Optic Blast into a Gaijin Smash for 70% damage. And when I have meter... watch out, cause then I can cancel into Super Gaijin Smash, and there's just no coming back from that.

Analysis: The Gaijin Smash

Put simply, this is playing the "dumb foreigner" card even when you're perfectly capable and completely understand what's going on. You play dumb so you can break social norms, skip to the front of lines, avoid paying train fares, etc. Personally, I don't find much appeal in this, however it becomes important if you're ever dealing with "The Law" overseas. I do not condone using the Gaijin Smash to skirt paying for things (although my girlfriend suggested a really funny Gaijin Smash where one could deliberately underpay for something, nod and bow a lot, and walk out), but I do believe it can be important to play dumb if one runs into trouble. If I was ever stopped by a cop overseas, I'd probably feign ignorance of the Japanese language entirely. It saves so many complications that could possibly arise in a nasty situation.

A side note: I was personally Gaijin Smashed by a Mexican national that I had a car accident with. He was speaking perfect English, yelling at me, until the cop showed up and then he magically, conveniently, forgot any and all of the English he had ever learned. Funny, since he had a Mexican drivers license and no insurance on that car, and yet managed to skirt any and all ticket fines because of the language barrier. Gaijin Smash.

I hope I will never have to use or abuse this power, although the potential for hilarity is high.

Analysis: The Gaijin Power

This is a legend that I've heard time and time again ever since I first became interested in Japanese language and culture. Apparently, Westerners have some sort of exotic appeal in Japan, so much so that a guy with pretty much zero luck with women in his own country can go over there and become a Casanova overnight simply because he looks different (not necessarily better, but *different*). And although Japan is a very homogeneous society, it's "in vogue" for the younger generations to intermingle with Westerners. That said, I had huge doubts about how strong this superpower would be to the average American Otaku. I doubted very much very many young Japanese women would be racing to fawn over the average dorkus maximus as he fawned over the BlazBlue cabinets peppered all over Tokyo's game centers that he never saw back home.

I've known quite a few people during my Japanese studies in college who went abroad to study...nearly all of them came back with Japanese fiancees. Note I said FIANCEES and not girlfriends! It was amazing. And these were all angsty gaijins much like myself who really didn't have the best luck in the world when it came to the fairer sex. Most were exceptionally bitter about it, but were very curious if the legends of the Gaijin Power were true. And they returned with smoking hot Japanese girls that wanted to marry them! Amazing!

But something else happened to those guys as well, something that the GaijinSmash blog fails to mention. I've witnessed this phenomenon firsthand multiple times, and have dubbed it: 外人メトロ変身, or, in Romaji/English, the "Gaijin Metro Henshin" ("Gaijin Metro Metamorphosis"). Somehow, dating a Japanese fashionista managed to "clean" these guys up, in some ways more alarming than others. They began dressing nicer, wearing fashionable clothes daily, carrying man purses (yes, there is such a thing, and they're VERY common in Japan), and changing their entire demeanor to appear VERY, VERY metrosexual. And it STICKS when they come back to the States. I theorize that the cause of this is directly related to a cataclysmic explosion of one's latent Gaijin Power abilities, similar to what happens to Ichigo's reiatsu when he goes into Hollow mode or Son Gokou's power level when he powers up to Super Saiyan. But unlike Ichigo or Gokou's transformations that fade after a period of time, the explosion of one's own Gaijin Power creates a lasting physical shift that, over time, can become permanent.

All that said, I believe I did have a run-in with my latent Gaijin Power abilities last year in Kobe (not that I was trying to use them, mind you, I'm quite happily taken by a wonderful girl here in the States). I was at a convenience store, trying to buy some snacks, when I realized I needed an unusual amount of change. Now, those who have been to Japan already know that there are many more coins than bills (in amounts similar to $1 and $5 along with smaller ones), so you end up carrying around a lot of coins eventually. I needed a 50 yen coin, around 50 cents, and was fumbling around in my massive stack of coins, apologizing to the clerk since there were people waiting in line behind me, when I get a tap on the shoulder. I turn to my right to see a cute Japanese girl (not in line at the time) who hands me a 50 yen coin. The two Japanese guys I was with started cracking up and were snapping cellphone pictures of me as I paid. I politely thanked the girl and tried to give the money back after receiving some change from the clerk, but she'd have none of it. Keep in mind that the people of Kobe are by nature friendly, at least I noticed it moreso than Tokyo, but it was still pretty funny to see the Gaijin Power at work.

Analysis: The Gaijin Optic Blast

Oh, so true. So very, very true. I know I said above that Kobe is filled with nice people... but one thing that made me uncomfortable to no end was the amount of staring. Now, I know our hotel was located in a high-fashion district. And I also know that my size and body type would make me stand out as I explored the area. BUT - did I really look so different that people needed to stop and gawk as I passed by? Over and over? I felt like I was wearing some kind of stuffed animal suit, the way EVERYONE would turn around and look at me. It felt REALLY strange at first. In fact, it was at that moment when I decided I really, really didn't want to live in Japan permanently, EVER. But if I would have known about the Gaijin Optic Blast, I could have avoided the tremendous amount of awkwardness I felt upon first stepping off the Shinkansen into Kobe. When someone stares at you, stare back. Simple. Effective. A projectile version of Gaijin Smash. And priceless.

If I have staring problems when going to Tokyo this year, or I notice that Lisa is getting Japanese Optic Blast'd, you can bet I will counter with a Gaijin Optic Blast that will knock that gaper clear off his feet.

So in conclusion, the superpowers of the Gaijin are more than myth, they're legend. And they work. If you plan on travelling to Japan anytime, remember to keep these tips in mind. They can save grief, cause amusement, and make the trip more enjoyable. The Japanese are xenophobic, and you will encounter discrimination (especially if you try to live there)...but with your Gaijin powers, you can take the lemons they feed you and make a very sweet, delicious, ice-cold glass of lemonade.

ULTRA COMBO!!!!!!!!!!!

House of the Dead: Overkill (a.k.a. Country Fried Zombie) Impressions

2009-02-12T07:48:00.001-08:00

Uh.....okay.

Many of us expected for the next entry in the House of the Dead franchise to be a PS3 or X360 port of the arcade smash House of the Dead 4. But we'd be wrong --- very wrong. Rather than deciding to work on a HD port of an existing arcade game, Sega decided to grant the franchise license to Western developer Headstrong Games in order to craft an original entry on the Wii. Uh-oh.

Well, the results, as expected, are decidedly mixed. Rather than following the same format as the previous games in the series, this one has a distinct grindhouse feel, from "feature presentation" loading screens to the over-the-top narrator and deliberate "film grain" cutscenes. The writing is also abysmal (as par for the course for the series), but in a different way. Any character in the game can't say more than two sentences without dropping an F-bomb or a reference to innuendo, incest, or toilet humor. Particularly African-American detective Isaac Washington. His speech and attitude in the game ("typical angry black man" stereotype) isn't really doing much for African-American representation in video games - and it's not funny. Additionally, since the game takes place in Bayou City, Louisiana, there are a ton of references to offensive Southern stereotypes as well (trailer parks, incest, etc.)... being a 'Yankee' myself, I found it funny for about two seconds before it just got old. Now don't get me wrong here - none of this content offended me, it just seems brutally forced. This is the kind of content that drunken college students would find hilarious, but most people would find unnecessary.

The gameplay itself attempts to emulate House of the Dead while adding a few additional features. Unfortunately, for some reason, the game lost its "tight" arcade feel in the transition to this new development team, and the game manages to feel more like Umbrella Chronicles than House of the Dead. The engine the game is running on is capable, and throws far more zombies at you than either HotD 2 or 3 provided (particularly towards the end of the game), but the tradeoff is that framerate issues are fairly common, particularly in two-player mode. The new features, the "mo-fo slow mo" that slows the game down to provide more opportunity for headshots along with the grenades from HotD4 add a bit of strategy as far as racking up the points is concerned, but don't do a whole lot for fans of the original games.

The game looks good (for Wii) but lacks fluidity. It's certainly a labor of love, and as such I do not regret the purchase. However - a warning for HotD purists out there - this game isn't what you expect and it will probably take a while to grow on you...

Connections ( コネ )

2009-02-09T07:12:00.000-08:00

This will be a little different than most entries I write, because it's a bit more personal. Those of you who actually know me that are reading this, know that over the last couple of years I had to make a couple of really hard decisions as to the direction my life was going to take. More recently, in the last few months I managed to dodge a ridiculously wide-sweeping layoff that caught a lot of friends and acquaintances off guard. Quite a few people I know are getting uprooted against their will, so in some ways I suppose I can say I'm lucky.

Now with my second annual trip to Japan taking place in a couple of months, I begin to realize something. Although Japan isn't much better in the jobs sector than America at the moment, I've managed, in my time at IBM Rochester, to connect with not one but two different organizations within IBM Japan along with another company outside of IBM due to family business connections. I'm meeting with all three of these groups when I go to Japan, on a purely social basis. It's going to be a blast.

The way I was brought up was to never burn bridges, and I really do want to end up in a job where I can indeed travel to Japan on business occasionally. And having these kinds of connections can't hurt. If I did end up getting hit by the axe, I probably would have tried for JET this year, because I think I have the qualifications to actually get in. But since I'm still employed and the job market is still so tumultuous, I've decided against taking any leaves of absence at least until things settle down. In the meantime I intend to grow my network as much as possible. These are great people that I'm getting to know, and I'm definitely up for opening as many doors as possible towards what could possibly be a dream made reality.

In some ways, not moving out west was actually a better decision. I'm not kidding myself - yeah, it would have been great working for the Regginator at Nintendo. But I gotta say, I think I'm building more Japanese connections from inside IBM than I could ever build there. Weird, I know...

Japan is a GO

2009-02-08T16:04:00.001-08:00

Just finished making arrangements for my trip to Tokyo in April. Expect many blog entries and even more interesting pictures this time around...

In the meantime, my next targeted review is Street Fighter IV. Look forward to it.

Fable II: Afterthoughts

2009-01-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

Note: Spoiler warning is minimal, in discussing the Fable II storyline here I worked very hard to avoid any and all spoilers.

Just finished Fable II last night, and although I can definitely say I can understand the appeal of these kinds of sandbox games to gamers nowadays, I can't help but feel that the narratives of these games often suffer. Fable II had so much potential, particularly at the beginning and especially the twist in the middle - but it was all squandered at the end by the most anticlimactic ending in recent history as far as I'm concerned. This wasted potential has nothing to do with the choices you make as a character (although I think some problems in the story were watered down to compensate for that), but more that it felt like the development team was "tired" and that they wanted to just stop working and ship the game.

The parts that WERE emotionally charged towards the end of the game were casually glossed over - both concerning what the villain claimed he had done and also what your friends do in the "final battle" (note: "final battle" in the loosest of terms, since there really isn't one - it's more of an interactive cutscene). The point remains, too much freedom makes the story fail. But even moreso than sandbox elements forcing compromises in storyline - rushed development makes them even more pronounced.

Final Fantasy VIII had this problem too. One second you have an awesome plot twist with Sorceress Adel and the Lunar Cry, and the next you're crashing into a floating fortress-thingy and ending the game without really explaining what happened in the first place. IX had a similar problem following its twist; whereas FFX did it right. XII didn't really have a plot to begin with, so criticizing that game's storyline would take an entire entry of itself. Of course, even that's better than taking the Xenogears way out and just display paragraphs of events on the screen and time-jumping. Those events described in Xenogears were a huge tease, as they sounded like they would have been a ton of fun to play through. Anyways, my point is, when making an RPG, even one with as much freedom as Fable II, make sure your story doesn't suck, in particular the beginning and end. Fable II's beginning was great, but the ending completely ruined the entire experience for me.

Funny final note on Fable II: Alex unexpectedly appeared back in Bowerstone after the Rookridge ghost quest (where I did decide to hand over the rejection letter, so in theory she should be dead). Not letting an opportunity go to waste, I married her :-P. Unfortunately, the glitch soon pronounced itself, as she doesn't respond to any expressions, including "Follow" and "Come back to my place"...thus, I couldn't have kids with her. Marrying a ghost-brought-back-to-life means you get no action, apparently. :D

R.I.P. EGM

2009-01-09T13:46:00.000-08:00

This week, a bombshell hit the gaming industry. It's a sad, sad day for gamers in the States as Electronic Gaming Monthly, one of the last three gaming magazines in circulation, has bitten the dust. Many of the writers who have been with the magazine for years, authors of stories I grew up reading, are now out of work. And it's a shame.

I guess it goes to show that the industry isn't nearly as "recession proof" as it seems. And gaming magazines, once the only source of industry news, previews, reviews, and hints available, now take a very large backseat to the information colossus known to all as "Teh Intarwebz".

I'm not saying the Internet killed EGM. I'm saying that the new reason to read a gaming magazine is for the articles about the games we love - not for news or previews. Reviews are becoming more important, I feel, as the price of games continues to rise. $60 is too much to be conned out of for an overmarketed movie-licensed turd-on-a-disc in my opinion, and EGM's reviews were some of the most honest around.

Rest in peace, EGM. おやすみなさい。。。

Tatsunoko Vs Capcom REVIEW!

2009-01-08T10:43:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time coming.

The combo-friendly crossover craziness of the Capcom Versus series is finally making a comeback - though not in the form or on the platform anyone expected. Due to the Marvel license being owned by another publisher, Capcom instead chose to clash their iconic characters against the classic Japan-centric Tatsunoko Productions. For hardware, they chose a Wii-based arcade board, which allowed for an easy port to the Wii for home release. This combination of odd character choices with an unusual hardware choice appears strange at first glance but manages to progress the series into modern relevance while feeling both classic and new.

Classic Elements

The old saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". And while TvC doesn't completely take this saying to heart, it does manage to retain most of what made the Versus series distinct. Gameplay is still tag-based and centered on easy-to-do chain combos and flashy supers that are more over-the-top than ever before. Never (outside of games created by Nintendo itself) has the Wii shown itself so capable in terms of quality particle effects and smooth visuals. Despite the craziness happening on the screen, the game rarely slows down. This game is, without question, one of the most beautiful third party efforts on Wii, and shows that the Wii is far more capable than "last gen" consoles in the graphics department.

Changes and New Elements

Although the character count has been vastly reduced (to 22 from MvC2's 56) - mainly to compensate for the new (admittedly beautiful) cell-shaded 3D graphics, there are very few characters recycled on the Capcom side - which is actually a welcome change - as fighting styles for the new characters are extremely unique, and will make for the discovery of interesting tournament strategies over time. Unfortunately, the character count on a team has been reduced from 3 back down to 2, and the button count has been similarly shrunk from 2 punches, 2 kicks, and 2 assists to weak, medium, strong, and assist. Due to this, some moves for iconic Capcom characters have new joystick motions or gameplay effects (some examples include Ryu's tatsumakisenpuukyaku and the range on Chun Li's kikouken). Combos are generally easier to do because of the control simplification, although pressing the joystick in different directions in combination with the buttons will produce attack variations in punches and kicks.

Although the controls are a bit more user-friendly, there are many new gameplay elements that seem inspired more by Guilty Gear than old Versus games. Two blatant examples are the Baroque mode (which works like a Roman Cancel combined with a damage boost that is determined by how much recoverable vitality is in your lifebar) and the Mega Crush (which sacrifices two super meters and some life in exchange for a combo break (a la Guilty Gear's Burst). Other new developments include the variable air raid (which allows you to tag a partner in during an aerial rave) and the removal of snapbacks for most characters (though a few still have these moves). Another interesting shift is invulnerability during tag-outs. It is now exceptionally hard to hit a tagging opponent (in comparison to MvC2), which makes tagging out a bit safer (though the character tagged in is still easily punished if the tag attack is blocked). The final boss of the game is Yami from Okami, and the difficulty of this boss will vary wildly depending on the characters on your team. While those with beam/projectile supers will do well against him, and Yatterman's Yatterwan super does about a 1/4 health bar of damage to any form (by far the easiest way to kill the boss), grappling characters and especially Gold Lightan have a difficult time against the third form. The third form's unblockable grab-beam attack makes the new Mega Crush a necessity.

Though the game is fairly balanced in comparison to MvC2, infinite combos have already been found for Viewtiful Joe and Chun Li. Also, the new "big" characters (Lost Planet Mech on the Capcom side and Gold Lightan on the Tatasunoko side) play unusually and probably won't see much tournament use.

Oh, yeah...and they added a bunch of minigames too, most of which aren't all that fun - but a few of which (including the hadoken simulator and the shooting gallery style games) can be a fun diversion and an easy way to earn a few extra points for unlocking content (four extra characters not in the arcade version, along with a bunch of gallery art and sound effects are unlockable in the Wii release).

Controls

Wavebird: Though playing TvC on a Wavebird isn't ideal, it's playable. The d-pad more than gets the job done, though the button configuration will obviously take some getting used to.

Classic Controller: Pretty much feels how you'd expect. The default button configuration isn't something I would have chosen, so I did end up making some changes. Probably the casual gamer's best choice.

Hori Wii Fighting Stick: The Hardcore gamer's choice. Since the stick is Hori, it's solid. My beef with TvC is mainly due to the Hori stick's design. I have large hands, and the first two buttons on the Hori stick are too close to the stick to be comfortable. In most games, this would be solved by mapping other buttons and leaving those first two unmappable...but TvC's menu does not allow the zL and zR triggers to be mapped, basically forcing me to use those first two buttons that cause my hands to cramp.

Importability

Aside from the unlocks and the main menu, everything is pretty straightforward and there's a lot of English (option menu is all English). Below is a translation for the main menu and attack types (for easy controller configuration).

* アーケード　＝ Arcade Mode
* バーサス　＝ Vs. Mode
* サバイバル　=　Survival
* タイムアタック　=　Time Attack
* トレーニング　＝ Training
* プレイデータ　＝ Play Data
* オプション　=　Option
* ショップ　=　Shop
* ギャラリー　＝ Gallery
* オリジナルゲーム　＝ Original (Mini) Games

* 弱　=　Weak attack
* 中　＝ Medium attack
* 強　＝ Strong attack

All that was promised and more

2008-12-10T19:42:00.000-08:00

I've had some time with TvC and I have to say, color me impressed. It is hands down the BEST third party effort on the Wii so far, and it's a real shame we'll never see it on these shores...

I'll have a full review soon.

Coming up...

2008-12-08T21:32:00.000-08:00

Review incoming, barring any Freeloader FAIL... Stay tuned.

Kingdom Hearts Re: Tired

2008-12-04T19:25:00.000-08:00

Originally part of the Japanese-only release Kingdom Hearts II: Final Mix +, the game was considered an "extra". Yes, Square-Enix is charging us full price for what was a bonus disc in a Japanese "Director's Cut" release of KHII containing new weapons, cutscenes, areas, and boss battles. Though disappointing, it is fortunate that SE decided to release re:CoM in the States at all, especially given the fact that we are definitely in the PS2's twilight years. I purchased the game solely to support SE's efforts to bring over "special edition" releases, even if we don't get the whole package...

All that said, if you liked the GBA release, or never played it, this game is for you. Just don't expect it to be a proper sequel to Kingdom Hearts II (a far superior title). The engine used to render the areas and characters is based on KH1, and therefore the areas are a little more barren than you would be used to from KHII. Also, they didn't bother to re-sync the lips with the English voice acting, which can be exceptionally distracting if you have studied Japanese at all and can actually see what the characters are saying (although for most of you that probably won't be an issue). The storyline bridges the gap between KH1 and KH2, and explains what happened to Sora prior to the start of KH2. Most of the voice actors from KH2 reprise their roles, although some notable ones are missing (though I doubt any Square fan was REALLY expecting Hayden Penettiere to reprise her role as Kairi due to her newfound fame courtesy of HEROES, so her absence isn't surprising).

To those expecting normal KH gameplay, I've got bad news for you there, too. It's a card game. Don't wince too much - it's an action-based card game. In a sense, all your actions (including items, attacks, and spells) are represented as cards, and you form a deck of commands you can use in battles. The higher the number on the card, the more effective the card is, and a card of a higher number can cancel an enemy card of a lower number. The system works surprisingly well (especially when strategy comes into play later on in the game, stacking certain combinations of cards and using them all at once in "sleight" attacks), but the fact remains that the entire system doesn't work quite as well in 3D as in 2D. As I play the game, I keep wishing for the KH2 battle system.

As I said, this was not intended to be a stand-alone game, and it shows. What you get is a 3D remake of CoM on the GBA, script largely untouched, with a few new cards and a couple new boss fights (which are welcomed). The quest is long, especially when you consider the two playable characters (I won't spoil). In order to get the full story, you'll have a lot of difficult card battling ahead of you - which may be a good thing or a bad thing. The difficulty is also ratcheted way up - especially in the second quest. You WILL die a few times, and it'll take some strategy to figure out decks to best certain bosses.

One final note: PS3 compatibility FAILS.

If you have a PS3 with SOFTWARE EMULATION (either the old 80gb model, or the MGS4 40gb special edition model), you will experience glitching in the first area of the game and won't be able to pass the tutorial. Some people bought the game concerned their game was broken or glitchy, but this turned out to be the fault of the software emulation of the console. In my opinion this is unforgivable, SE will lose a few sales to this. People with launch units (60gb or 20gb) will be able to play the game completely error-free, courtesy of hardware emulation.

Other than that, it's Kingdom Hearts...but not the triple-A Kingdom Hearts you're used to. This is more of a snack to tide us over until Birth By Sleep and 358/2 Days (yes, they REALLY are keeping those names for the American releases) hit the PSP and DS next year.

Dear SEGA:

2008-12-04T14:58:00.000-08:00

Having played many of your games, and just about all of your Sonic titles, I have a question for you (and it's an easy one)...

What is so hard about making a quality Sonic game?! It seems with every yearly release you get an inch or so closer than the year before to regaining some kind of playability and enjoyment in the games. But for some reason you INSIST on shipping in Q4 to maximize holiday sales (rather than finishing your games).

I think Yuji Naka would be disappointed in you.

You've gone as far as to go on the record to state that Sonic 2006 was "unpolished". Yeah, "unpolished". Falling through solid ground more times than I can count, obnoxious loading times, furry-on-princess make-out session... I'd have a few more choice words for that mess besides "unpolished", but I'm sure you don't want to hear them. That game could have been good. It even showed promise, at least graphically. But the levels were untested, the load times were unforgivable, and the story was absolute garbage. I quote myself:

"I wanted to like [Sonic 2006], I REALLY did, because it's one of the few Japanese games on the [360] with a recognized brand. However, abysmal collision detection and boundary issues caused me plummeting to my death from what appeared to be solid ground...not to mention the glitchy camera, incessant load times, and poor level design issues (pressing a button to run over poorly placed pits of sand without sinking, mere milliseconds after hitting a speed booster? No thanks.) that caused me to utter many an expletive in distaste at Sonic Team's disgustingly bad QA in an attempt to release the game for the holiday season last year. The worst offender of the collision detection and bad level designs are the "mach speed" sections of the game, which play like poorly laid out racing levels. Sonic races along (all too fast) and if you hit an obstacle or enemy, you die. Simple as that. The problem is, Sonic moves too quickly, and the "wide, expansive" environments make it somewhat difficult to figure out where you're supposed to go next. Furthermore, the design of these sections feels almost random. I found myself continuously fighting the game trying to figure out what the developers WOULDN'T PLAN on a player doing, so I wouldn't fall victim to unnecessary death-by-bug. Sadly, I still ran into bugs over and over again while keeping this in mind, and never wanted to press through to obtain even one single achievement award."

Though it pains me to say it, Sonic: Unleashed isn't much better. It provides some 2.5D segments that push the series in the right direction, but other parts of the game are ripped directly from those nasty Mach Speed sections (fortunately you don't die if you hit an obstacle this time) and others are pilfered from God of War (the corny WereHog levels). Please, MAKE IT STOP. Just make a sequel to the original Sonic games, put it in HD, and stick it on the PSN and XBL. At this point, that's about all any of us former fans could ask for...and it wouldn't even cost you as much as these big-budget diarrhea discs you're farting out every year. Enough. Please. Enough...

On Castlevania Judgment (not an Epic Fail...)

2008-12-01T19:48:00.001-08:00

Sometimes, albeit not often, the Wii has decent, if not stellar, third party contributions.

and...

Sometimes reviews can be wrong.

Case in point: Castlevania Judgment. A combination slasher/fighter/action title that is unfortunately destined to be headed to a premature death in the bargain bin due to both the tsunami of software releases over the next few weeks and to its less than stellar review scores. A game that really doesn't know what it's supposed to be, but yet got beaten up in the mainstream press far more than it deserved. A game that, surprisingly, manages to look fairly good graphically for a non-Nintendo title - especially to those that dig its anime-inspired over-the-top art style. A game that controls just fine, provided you toss the waggle-stick aside and put your classic controller or GCN Controller/Wavebird to good use.

Perhaps we'll never know why Iga decided to make this game rather than a true-blue 2D Castlevania title for Wii, and those who were expecting something like that are of course going to be extremely disappointed with Judgment. That being said, though, there's a lot to like here. Far more than the reviews would have you believe. So I suppose the best way to handle a review of this game into the genres which it represents, and then dealing with the typical criteria of graphics, sound, and control.

As a fighter, Castlevania Judgment is: 2.5/5

Unbalanced and toned down for the Wii audience. There are some technical moves to pull off here, but it's a very mash-friendly fighting game with a few exceptionally overpowered characters. The subweapons aren't all that useful, and "super attacks" (that are activated with a push of the X button on the GCN controller when the super meter is full) can drain an opponent of 75%+ of a life bar. There aren't that many characters to choose from, and the hazards in the environments feel like an afterthought (remember Mace: The Dark Age on N64? Yeah, kinda like that). I can't help but feel that this game wasn't meant to be a balanced fighter. All that said, it's still leaps and bounds ahead of Namco's sophomore Wii effort Soulcalibur Legends... then again, just about ANYTHING would have been better than Soulcalibur Legends.

As a third-person action game, Castlevania Judgment is: 3.5/5

More or less, if you liked the 3D titles in the Castlevania series... Lament of Innocence and Curse of Darkness, this game plays like a jacked-up version of the boss fights from those games. The controls are a bit different, and due to the emphasis on 1 on 1 fighting, obviously there are differences in how the game "feels", but its action roots are certainly apparent. I can't help but wonder if the game began life as a new 3D Castlevania on the Wii. Thanks, but no thanks. I actually prefer Judgment's current gameplay when compared to to running through empty corridor after empty corridor with little scenery, stopping to fight some guys, and then do the whole thing over again. Though all of these issues could have been avoided if they would have just released a real 2D Castlevania on the Wii... Judgment isn't bad, it just isn't that great either.

As a Wii game, Castlevania Judgment is: 4/5

I'll be the first to admit - I popped this game into my Wii expecting it to suck hard. Really hard. Like, really, really, "SUCK MONKEY BALLS OUT OF A BULL'S ANUS" AVGN hard.

After reading the reviews I wanted to remove it from my Gamefly queue to avoid wasting both my time and theirs. I was completely expecting a Castlevania-flavored Soulcalibur Legends style turd to be squeezed out by Konami to capitalize on the waggle craze. Thus I can't help but give it points for being BETTER than completely horrible. And that's a sad thing, but a true one. As a fighting fan, and a Castlevania fan, I'm having a good time with this game. I know it's shallow, and I know I'll probably be returning it in a few days, but for the moment, it's a lot of fun. The online is smooth and doesn't require friend codes, and the graphics are beautiful (especially with the anti-jaggie filter turned on) for a Wii game. Lots of particle effects, very little slowdown. The development team had love for this game. I don't think they had as much time as they would have liked to work on this title, but what's there is solid. And that alone is worth a rating boost, because this is one of the few third-party efforts not in the "Bratz Babiez Partyz Fashionz Dolphinz Happy Fun Ninjabreadz Manz" line of titles that sadly continue to sell to the idiot masses.

Note to the Hardcore:

As I said above, and I can't emphasize this enough: DO NOT PLAY WITH WAGGLE TURNED ON. It's just as broken as Soulcalibur Legends or Bleach, probably moreso. There's nothing I hate more than a Wii fighting game that forces waggle for every attack - it's just stupid, and I know most of you agree.

Treat this as a fanservice game, a "popcorn game" that won't have much longevity but will be fun in short bursts or to pull out at parties. It's very simplistic.

As far as how it plays (with existing games for reference)... it's two parts Destrega and one part Power Stone, coated with a thin Castlevania shell sprinkled with bits of Mace: The Dark Age. I know Destrega and Mace are pretty obscure games nowadays, but they contained several elements that made their way into Judgment: simple controls, over-the-top moves, half-baked environmental hazards, and 1 on 1 versus gameplay. In fact, Mace and Destrega keep coming up in my mind as I play Judgment. Since I liked both of those games back in the day, I don't have a ton of complaints. It's a light snack of a game in-between rich, calorie-laden first-party Nintendo goodness. That being said, it's also one of the best non-Capcom third-party efforts on the system so far. That's intended as a compliment to Konami... I'm not saying rush out to the store and buy it, but definitely give it a shot. Chances are you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Infinite Undiscovery, Last Remnant and the Decline of the JRPG

2008-11-23T19:46:00.000-08:00

Let me start with a comment you'll probably all agree with me on: this console generation is a lousy time to be a JRPG fan, if the review scores are to be believed.

First, right out of the gate, the only promised titles are FFXIII (years and years off), and Enchanted Arms, which turned out to be sub-par and had the worst, most offensive character archetype in the history of video games (thanks, Makoto). The years ticked by and the releases finally began to trickle out of the studios - mostly for Xbox 360 (much to the chagrin of Sony fanboys who bought the PS3 believing it to be THE JRPG system of this gen - which it should have been - but its slow start cost Sony dearly), and slowly increasing in quality. Following Enchanted Arms, there was Blue Dragon, then Lost Odyssey, then a couple of oddball strategy RPG hybrids from Atlus (PS2 ports from Japan), then Tales of Vesperia, then Infinite Undiscovery, and now Last Remnant...with the promise of Star Ocean and possibly Final Fantasy XIII (FINALLY) next year.

But something happened along the way...the games came out, but really didn't get any better, if the critics were to be believed. Blue Dragon scored subpar reviews, Lost Odyssey did marginally better, Tales did okay, and Infinite Undiscovery and Last Remnant got hit _HARD_. Most of the complaints for all the JRPGs up until Infinite Undiscovery had to do with "more of the same". Apparently, the US-developed Space Marine or WWII games can get away with "more but prettier" content, but Japanese games get absolutely crucified in reviews for doing essentially the exact...same...thing.

Now it should come as no surprise that the two most "revolutionary" RPGs to hit the next-gen consoles so far, Infinite Undiscovery and Last Remnant, were also heavily criticized, but for completely different reasons. In Infinite Undiscovery's case, it was an (admittedly) minigame-glutted first 10 hours which, if you are an achievement completionist, would be one of the worst gaming experiences of your life.... make no mistake. The stealth "can't get hit" minigame. The castle siege. The ANNOYING villager rescue. The prisoner rescue where the enemies kill the prisoners before you can save them. The ridiculously cliche plot...UP TO A POINT.

Somehow I get the impression that the reviewers got fed up and never played past the first 10 hours, because the plot takes off at the end of the first disc and doesn't let up until the end of the game...and the gameplay gets better. The minigames fade away and what's left is pure FFXII style exploration and combat bliss - with an element of danger because your party members can turn on you with little warning during battles (can't explain why - plot spoilarzzz). There are a few "groaner" plot twists, the kind you tick off on a checklist, and the areas admittedly could have used a bit more polish. Overall, I'd say it certainly didn't deserve the bashing it got from the mainstream press, although it was admittedly a B-effort from a farmed-out team. Not Square-Enix caliber.

In Last Remnant's case, well, let's investigate...

I've spent the past few days digging into both Last Remnant on 360 and Tales of Symphonia: Knights of Ratato...errr, Dawn of the New World on the Wii.

As far as graphics are concerned, Last Remnant is absolutely gorgeous. It's built on UNREAL and shows that the engine can do more than display various shades of brown, red, and grey. Square-Enix vistas are brilliantly brought to life. My only concern is that the towns I've explored so far kind of blend into each other - similar archetecture and thematic elements, and all very reminiscent of FFXII's Rabanastre. Dungeons are rendered gorgeously.

The battle system is revolutionary. You control groups of units rather than single units, and get to choose actions from a predetermined pallet for each group. The camera swings wildly about the arena while the battles are taking place, as you can comandeer upwards of 20 different units simultaneously in the psuedo turn-based skirmishes. The battles require a different kind of strategy since you're not exactly sure what commands the game will give you on any given turn (this is the biggest problem with the new system), and you may be left without the ability to heal on a turn where you need it. That said, this was a very nice first attempt at trying something a little new and different - something that could be perfected with a little polish.

So why did the reviews blast it? They weren't comfortable with the new battle system, and were put off by minor technical issues. They didn't like the loading times or the fact that there was framerate stutter on occasions, and dropped the score (in some cases, such as Gamespot, quite significantly - 6.5) . Normally this wouldn't bother me, as I noticed those issues at first as well and was admittedly put off...until I installed the game to the HDD and watched those issues disappear. No more long loading times, and framerate stutters became much less common. They failed to mention this fact. Somehow I get the suspicion the mainstream press is being overcritical of the JRPG if they manage to overlook Fable II's many flaws and award it a 10, but yet give something like Last Remnant a 6.5.

Granted, the Last Remnant is far from the "second coming" of the JRPG, but it takes a good many steps in the right direction.

So much so, in fact, that I have my sneaking suspicions that those looking forward to a gameplay revolution in FFXIII may be shocked at how similar the two games end up. Let's compare: the dramatic, sweeping camera angles, complex HUD that doesn't appear to actually do much, and a lot of action sequences that you don't control (in Last Remnant's case)...but honestly, do you really expect you'll be controlling Lightning most of the time during battles? It's going to be a gussied-up, polished, and slimmed down version of Last Remnant's take on battles, but with less characters - mark my words. In my opinion, that's both a good thing and a bad thing. The American mainstream press will dump hate on it, just as it has done with Last Remnant. But those of us looking for evolution in the genre won't care one bit.

Jingle Bells, Shovelware Smells

2008-11-12T13:06:00.000-08:00

Ah, the holiday season.

Time for laughter, cheer, family gatherings...oh yeah, and a hype blitz followed immediately by a tsunami of game releases.

Every year, without fail, the same thing. The 8-or-so weeks leading up to year's end are flooded with big name releases. Week after week, more and more are dumped on the (mostly) unsuspecting public and cause those of us aware of the industry to sigh deeply as we trudge back to Gamestop yet again and whip out our credit card for the 7th time in the last 7 weeks. The saddest part of all this? The majority of us (hardcore of the hardcore excluded) won't get around to seriously playing any of these for WEEKS - if at all.

I write this knowing full well that my reservation for Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts is waiting for me a half-mile down the road at GameStop, but I have no intention of picking it up.

No, sir.

I'm currently hammering away at Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia on DS, Disgaea3, LittleBigPlanet, and Valkyria Chronicles on PS3, Naruto Clash of Ninja Revolution 2 on Wii, and Rock Band 2 on 360. I have my hands quite full and have no reason to buy another game at the moment. Oh - I almost forgot - Banjo Kazooie on XBLA - the reason for my Nuts and Bolts pre-order in the first place.

I think, for the first time in history, marketers are finally beginning to figure this out. Although this season is pretty jam-packed, it isn't nearly as bad as the last few years (including the console launches). A lot of high-profile games were released in the spring and summer months of this year - a welcome change. MGS4, for example. And this year seems to be the same thing - games are being delayed to Q1 and Q2 (SFIV, Resident Evil 5) to add polish and improve quality. No longer is shipping in Q1-Q3 instead of Q4 a retail death sentence. There are still publishers who believe that shipping in Q4 must be done at all costs, even if it means sacrificing features or quality to do so (and I will be writing an article on one such company soon), but their numbers are dwindling.

That being said, there are still plenty of software titles being booted out the door months and months before completion in order to take advantage of the increased likelihood of sales.

I find this trend interesting for a couple of reasons... first of all, given the state of the economy, shipping in Q4 does not, in fact, guarantee a sales boost. Secondly, unless you're a well known brand (for a kiddy game) or a GOOD game (for a hardcore game), your chances of getting lost in the tidal wave of releases is better than your chances at becoming a bestseller. Hardcore gamers listen to reviews (most of the time), so if you've been blowing smoke up people's asses with a strategically clever marketing campaign only to turn around and sell them a miserable pile of crap, people will know about it. Look at Kane and Lynch - or Assassin's Creed (sorry Jade...even your cute Canadian accent and "girl next door obtainable" hotness couldn't save that pile of dog doodoo you call a game). Reviews matter. Hype does too - but less so. The worse the economy gets, the more people will actually begin paying attention to whether a game is worthy of their hard-earned money (a trend that, sadly, all movie-licensed or kids titles seem blissfully exempt from).

I'd like to take this time to launch into a tirade about Sega deciding to domestically release Sonic Unleashed for 360 and PS3 in a few weeks despite a delay in Japan over "quality concerns". I smell a Sonic 2006-style turd coming out of Sonic Team, and it sure reeks. I have it queued up on Gamefly, and will be writing about my impressions when it launches. Hopefully this game, at least, won't have furry-on-princess makeout sessions. That alone would be an improvement.

LittleBigPlanet - Impressions from the Beta

2008-09-30T09:26:00.000-07:00

Hype is an interesting thing. In many cases it manages to get us excited for products that, when finally released, fail to live up to the colossal expecations the fanbase has set for them. I'd like to call this the "Too Human effect". Some titles, such as Kingdom Hearts 2, GTA4, and Halo 3 manage to overcome the problem to some degree and meet the expectations most players have set for them. Very few, however, manage to exceed those expectations - especially when sequels are concerned.

LittleBigPlanet is an interesting case because not only is it a brand new franchise, but it's a gargantuan-budget title that was created by a fairly unknown developer, but somehow managed to become the PS3's "next big thing" throughout its development cycle (at least since it was first revealed at GDC 07). And even more interesting - it manages to exceed every expectation set for it.

Not to say that it's a perfect game, but its powerful creation tools and easily understandable interface manage to make it the most "hardcore" "casual" game I've ever seen. This is probably the first game (aside from Rock Band) that I've been able to pull out at a mixed gathering of people from different gaming backgrounds and get a unanimously positive response. This is a very good thing for Sony.

Now, enough with the fluff...

Basically, LBP's story mode (where you unlock most of the objects for use in the create mode) has you progressing through a series of levels. X button jumps, R1 button grabs. That's all you need for level navigation. If you want to get fancy, you can open your "popit" (LBP's substitute for an options menu) and place stickers and other decorations around the environments at will. Occasionally you'll need to put a certain sticker on a specific background in order to progress. That's about as complicated as the mechanics get. However, the levels are designed to be gigantic physics-based playgrounds. You have different materials reacting as they should (stone vs sponge vs cardboard, for example), rockets, switches, springs, wheels, and more - all seamlessly integrated into the levels. The level design is impeccable (at least in the few maps the beta has given us to dink around with), and more importantly gives a lot of ideas

The game's main draw - and the feature that will keep LBP active for years past its launch day - is the much described level creator. This feature allows players to build their own levels from scratch. Many features of the level editor workon an event - trigger mechanism, that is -if the player does *a*, then make *b* happen. For those familiar with the structure of computer programs, it's very simplified, but everything makes sense. You hook a switch to an object, tweak the parameters, and test it out. A few times during level creation I got results I wasn't expecting from chaining events like this together -- either due to unexpected tool behavior or Newtonian flukes caused by the game's realistic physics...but interestingly enough, these "mistakes" actually open up more creative ideas more often than not.

The only real complaints I have about the level editor are rooted in the wonky undo system that rewinds your last few actions (especially when testing objects...sometimes you can screw yourself a bit too easily and accidentally destroy your level, but the undo system doesn't seem to have a very large cache of actions for these particular cases, leading to some problems) and the DualShock 3 controller itself... Although all the tools are easily accessible via the in-game Popit menu, creating land masses (even with the many shapes provided) is a chore. There have been many, many times where I kept wishing for access to a keyboard/mouse configuration. Also, the tutorials do a great job at explaining the tools individually, but really don't tell you much about how you can fit them together. Once you get the hang of it, though you can build an object like a rocket-powered car in under a minute, using just a couple of the many tools provided to you. For the less daring , you can also unlock many story-based objects in the story mode to use in your levels. Beta-specific complaints include game freezes during online play, problems publishing levels, and a save data corruption that caused me to lose a few hours of work and forced me to replay all the tutorials I'd already gotten through. Considering this is a BETA, not a DEMO, this is more than forgivable. I do wish there was a centralized place to report issues, though (rather than forums, which are fairly obnoxious).

Sharing levels is as simple as selecting "Publish" from the pod screen and selecting a location on the "LittleBigPlanet" where your level icon will be shown. Other players can then enter it, try it out, and rate it. If you're feeling particularly generous, you can reward players with "prize bubbles" in your levels that will give them access to the objects you create. This is the feature that will extend the life of LBP far beyond the "first month high" most big-budget games receive.

In conclusion, I'm thoroughly impressed with this game. I think this is probably the first PS3 exclusive to really show promise as to what the PS3 provides over competing consoles. This is a game that could have (and should have) gone to the Wii, if the Wii hardware was current-gen rather than last-gen. It's the most hardcore casual game out there (or casual hardcore game, if you prefer), and it's a blast to play.

Now please, Sony, don't ruin my experience with a bunch of pay-only DLC.

MegaMan 9 Language Warning

2008-09-23T11:33:00.000-07:00

Nothing brings back more gaming memories from my childhood than Mega Man. From the awful cover art to the addictive gameplay, the series was a hallmark for NES action titles back in the early 90's. In fact, conquering Mega Man 2 and 3 represents a large part of the gaming pride I had as a kid.

Fast forward to 2008.

Capcom releases Mega Man 9, a throwback in every way to the older Mega Man titles on NES. Gone is the Mega Buster shot and the slide. Gone is the next-gen sheen, replaced with 4-color sprites ripped right out of the early 1990's, and deliberately added sprite flicker/slowdown. Gone is the sanity of late 2-D platformers (SotN, New Super Mario Bros. etc.), replaced with "conveniently" respawning enemies, spikes, bottomless pits, and disappearing block puzzles over said spikes and bottomless pits. The difficulty is amped up so much in this release that in my 2 hours with the game so far (trying out the different stages), I have yet to be able to make it to a single robot master. I feel for all the TVs that will soon be shattered by incoming controller projectiles...the amount of sheer frustration this game has the potential to generate is maddening.

To give you an idea of how maddening this was, I present to you a stream of consciousness during an attempted playthrough of Splash Woman's stage (supposedly the easiest in the game), inspired by the Angry Video Game Nerd:

"Ok, GameFAQs said Splash Woman should be taken down first - who am I to argue? Splash Woman it is. Hey, this interface looks a lot like MM3's selection screen. Too bad it's not 480p, maybe I should have waited for the 360 version."

"Splash Woman. Here we go. Let's get it on!"

"Hmm...low resolution mermaid. How original. Love the old school music, though. I wonder what the stage will look like."

"Water. Nice fake light effects - ha ha. Go figure. Okay, walking right, walking right..."

"Bombs. Jump over the...WTF?! They home in?"

*MegaMan gets hit*

"Damn. Shoot 'em instead?"

*MegaMan shoots and the MegaBuster shots bounce off*

"Crap! What a way to start the stage, half my life bar's gone. Screw this, just take the hits, get past 'em, and drop into the hole."

*Drops into the hole, next screen*

"Next screen. Robo-octopus firing shots of ink at me. Yet again, shots bouncing off. Gotta shoot it in the head. 3 shots and he's down, but now I'm colored black from getting hit with the ink... doesn't seem to do anything, so oh well."

"Ok, few more enemies, couple of jumps... ooh, a bolt guarded by another octopus. Take this, octopussy! 3 shots...and he's down. Leap over the hole, grab the bolt...YOINK. Drop in...next screen!"

*Drops into the hole. Spikes halfway down, falls right into them and dies*

"....What?! Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?! Mega-ASS!"

*Starts over at the beginning*

"FUCK!!! I forgot - no checkpoints until halfway through each stage...this is almost too old school for its own good. Back to the bombs...easier to avoid this time."

*Navigates to the previous point, dodging the spikes*

"HA, take THAT! YEAHH BOYYYYEEEEEEE!"

"Veering left...more spikes - but easier to avoid this time...reminds me of the Doc Robot stages from MM3. I don't remember them being this hard, though..."

*next screen, jets creating bubbles of different sizes that float up the screen*

"Oh, GREAT. I know where this is going...have to hop on the bubbles..."

*hops on a small one and it breaks*

"Ok, I get it. Small ones break, large ones don't. So ride the large one up...probably into a huge wall of spikes..."

*rides up the screen*

"Completely empty next screen, no spikes! Shocking..."

*squid comes out of left side of screen and knocks MegaMan off bubble*

"SHIT. Damn squid. Ok. Dodge the squid next time."

*Navigates up 2 screens on the bubbles, narrowly missing a last-second sniping squid from the left side of the screen*

"Hah, another squid, right at the end! Very clever, Capcom. Next!"

*A few screens later, there's a moving platform puzzle with platforms coming out of the walls moving right and left and then disappearing*

"Ugh. Now it's getting ugly. First take care of that robot... HA! GOTCHA! Now jump on the platforms...and .... wow, that wasn't so bad."

"How much you wanna bet there will be another puzzle with these damn blocks combined with spikes or bottomless pits?"

*the next screen does indeed have such a puzzle*

"Spikes for 500, Alex."

"Looks like I need to time my jumps exactly right this time. Okay, see the pattern. Get across the spikes, make it to the platform on the left."

*hops successfully onto solid platform, only to get bumped off by a moving platform that comes out of the wall immediately after landing, lands on the spikes and dies*

"ASS! Why am I NOT surprised..."

"AAARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Ok, that's it, I need a beer."

*Yes, I actually went to the fridge and got a Rolling Rock at this point, left over when a friend bought some for a party last month*

"Oh, look, I get to start over from the bubbles. That's OK, I guess..."

*back to the second block screen*

"FUCK this. Alright puppy, time to earn your keep...Rush Coil, do your thing. Let's get over to the left side of the platform, call the doggy, hop up...and...."

*misses the ladder, not high enough...and another death-by-spiking*

"GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!! FUCKING PUPPY PIECE OF SHIT!!!!"

*Game Over*

"I'll never play this piece of crap game...EVER EVER AGAIN."

Okay, maybe I'm over-exaggerating. I will play the game again - maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.

I mentioned both MM2 and MM3 at the beginning of this review. Now, I know, for a _FACT_, that both of those games were not nearly as cheap as MM9 - not by a longshot. How do I know? As recently as 3 years ago I went back and beat them both again on the Mega Man Anniversary Collection for PS2. And although my retro gaming skills were a little rough at the time, I had nowhere near as many deaths on those games as I have experienced with 2 hours... 2 HOURS...of MM9.

Maybe it's for the best - I mean, I do notice myself getting better with each attempt...something I like to call Ninja Gaiden syndrome. A game will continually make you its bitch and you come back for more and more - improving your skill just a little each time - until the obstacles that once proved insurmountable are nothing to you.

Hopefully I have the patience for this...otherwise, I'd better start looking for a new TV and Wiimote, just in case my Mega-rage gets the better of me.

A New Challenger Appears - 27 Trojan Horses Courtesy of "Marvel vs Capcom 3"

2008-09-18T19:29:00.000-07:00

Let this be a lesson to all of you.... if something is too good to be true, it probably is. Also, never download anything from IsoHunt. One minute I'm playing the best fan-made game ever, and the next my computer is hijacked by about 78 million pieces of malware...

It all started last night. On a whim while browsing YouTube, I came across videos of a "build" of Marvel Vs Capcom 3 with over 115 characters. Unofficial of course, it was a fanboy's wet dream. Completely fan-built from scratch using M.U.G.E.N. - an open source fighting engine. Everyone from Firebrand to Phoenix to Galactus was playable, a dream come true.

Since the YouTube videos didn't contain any links to the game with characters included (only shells due to copyright reasons), I went ahead and downloaded it from IsoHunt.com, the only place that seemed to have the full build.

Bad idea.

Terrible idea.

In fact, probably the worst idea I've ever had.

After a 15 hour download, I finally unzipped the colossal directory and started playing the game. At first the .exe didn't work (showing an error stating files were missing), and I had to download a "fresh" one from an open source site for M.U.G.E.N. - that should have been my first hint that something was amiss...but I didn't listen and started playing. Aside from a bit of slowdown, it played just as I had hoped it would, albeit being a little rough around the edges...

Then something happened. All of the sudden, about 20 IE windows opened (funny, I'm using Firefox), my background changes to a bleeding biohazard sign, and a bunch of warnings pop up about being infected with everything from viruses to spyware. YIKES! I pulled the internet out on my computer and got a freeze...

Upon starting in safe mode with networking and downloading a couple of diagnostic programs, I found that Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 hit me with not 1, not 2, but 27 different trojan horses. Most of which I believe are removed at this point, but in order to have any kind of confidence in running anything on my PC again, it looks like I'm going to be fresh-installing Windows once my Trojan-free backup files are done copying over the network.

And with that, it's time to wipe my hard drive and start over again. A moment of silence for my PC...

And a big FUCK YOU to "Marvel vs. Capcom 3". Thanks A LOT....

Achievements: Boon or Bane?

2008-09-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time coming, but I've finally had a few minutes to sit down and tackle one of the most interesting developments to come out of the "current gen" consoles.

There is nothing worse than going to your profile page in Xbox LIVE and seeing not only your total achievement count and gamerscore, but the dreaded "OUT OF" gamerscore number. That is, every time you put a game in your 360 (or download a full version of a LIVE title), it adds the total value of the possible earned achievements to this number. Thus, if you have played 42 full games, you'll have a gamerscore out of 42,000 points! It guilts you into feeling like you've wasted your money on a game if you haven't played it enough to milk most of the achievements out of it.

In my opinion, there are right ways and wrong ways to do achievements:

WRONG WAY: Eternal Sonata, Devil May Cry 4 - most of the achievements are locked away until at least the second playthrough, making you feel like you accomplished next to nothing even by working your way through a game on default difficulty levels. The games mentioned here leave the VAST MAJORITY of gamerscore points FAR out of reach until beating the game on higher difficulty levels and grinding sidequest after sidequest (1,000,000 red orbs? REALLY?)...argh...

WRONG WAY: Shadowrun, Gears of War - Lots and lots of online-only achievements. There are two problems with this. The first is finding opponents after the game's online community begins to dwindle. Lack of available opponents means there is no way to unlock the achievements, which really isn't fair to those people who actually stuck with the game in the first place! The second problem is the quality of online achievements -- they have the potential to piss off a lot of people who happen to be in a game with a person who is grinding for achievements. Things such as "get 100 kills with grenades" or "get 100 kills with the chainsaw" or "kill a team member" can turn certain game types into absolute chaos. Gears of War had quite a few of these... However, the first problem doesn't really apply if you're a game such as Halo 3 - which also did a fairly good job of avoiding too many "asshat" multiplayer achievements...

WRONG WAY: Avatar: The Last Airbender, TMNT, and other licensed games - You know you have a bad game on your hands when you make the achievements blatantly easy for no other purpose than to make sure people play your game. Movie games have been notorious for this lately, especially those based on kids' licenses. Then again, if you buy a game solely because you'll be able to pick up 1000 achievement points easily, you have bigger problems* than worrying about purchasing a bad game.
*says me, who shamefully has 1000/1000 from Avatar in his Gamerscore history... -_-;; I didn't buy it though!!

RIGHT WAY: Soulcalibur IV - Now THIS is how you do achievements. Not only are the tasks extremely varied, but many are unlocked simply by playing the game normally. Grinding for them is actually counter-productive in many cases because of the way the game is designed. Also, and more importantly, in-game rewards (in the form of equipment for custom characters) is unlocked as more achievements are earned, encouraging players to continue playing for something other than additional Gamerscore points. Adding in-game rewards to achievement milestones is something newer games are starting to try, and it's a trend I would like to see more of.

Unless implemented the right way, achievements and trophies serve little purpose other than to artificially prolong the life of a game. And believe me when I say that most (and I mean most) of the achievements that consist of simply grinding for hours and hours have the potential to bore even the most hardcore of gamers to tears. Microsoft once tried handing out free XBL games and T-shirts for a contest won by increasing gamerscore a few thousand points over a specific time period. Apparently too many people entered, because they sure haven't tried anything like that again...

Gaijin's Gaming Gaea

Kirby's Epic (Yawn?) Review

Interview With A Casual: Facebook Games And Who Plays Them

The Return...

Epic 5: 関西

Interlude 5: Byouki

Epic 4: 変な日本

Interlude 4: Kazoku

Interlude 3: Tanjyoubi x Shuumatsu

Epic 3: 強くなりたい

Interlude 2: The Big Leagues

Epic 2: 外人クエスト

Interlude 1: Katsuobushi

Epic 1: 冒険が始まる

From Horse Armor To Stimulus And Beyond: Future of DLC

Typical...

E-CREDDDDDD!!!!

Abandoning The Hype Train

On XBOX Live's "Juvenile" quotient...

夢と現実 (Dreams and reality)

Freebies and Health Care

Miscellaneous ramblings...

Crystal Bearers: Two Hours In...

Lucky [FF] 13...

Cheater, Cheater, Sushi Eater!!!

Aria 4: Wishing

Aria 3: Matsuri

Aria 2: Changes

Aria 1: "EXACTLY like last time...."

三番目の東京旅行始めましょう！

Potent Portables

My First (serious) Tournament

From Boom Blox to BlazBlue

The Great Fight Hype

My first attempt at translation

Akihabara for Dummies

How To Order At Yoshinoya

Chapter 6: Old Capital

Chapter 5: Zen

A brief update...

Chapter 4: Assumptions

Chapter 3: Shokku

Chapter 2: Pride

Chapter 1: Arrival

Two Days 'til Tokyo: Gaijin Blackout Countered

Impatience and a respite

4 Days Until Tokyo...

Countdown START... 5 days until Tokyo

JRPG Creation for Dummies: Tutorial

Capcom DLC: Shoryukens of the Wallet

Gaijin Superpowers

House of the Dead: Overkill (a.k.a. Country Fried Zombie) Impressions

Connections ( コネ )

Japan is a GO

Fable II: Afterthoughts

R.I.P. EGM

Tatsunoko Vs Capcom REVIEW!

All that was promised and more

Coming up...

Kingdom Hearts Re: Tired

Dear SEGA:

On Castlevania Judgment (not an Epic Fail...)

Infinite Undiscovery, Last Remnant and the Decline of the JRPG

Jingle Bells, Shovelware Smells

LittleBigPlanet - Impressions from the Beta

MegaMan 9 *Language Warning*

A New Challenger Appears - 27 Trojan Horses Courtesy of "Marvel vs Capcom 3"

Achievements: Boon or Bane?

MegaMan 9 Language Warning