Countdown START... 5 days until Tokyo

Well, it begins.

I've been waiting for a long time, but I'm finally going on vacation. Between the chaos at work coming from new responsibilities coupled with mass layoffs, and the flare-ups of my migraine condition, I've really needed this.

I've spent the last few weeks trying to get the schedule straightened out. It looks like I'll be meeting with people from IBM during the first few days of the trip, my uncle's coworkers over the weekend, and then have the next few days for travel to Kyoto, the Ramen Museum at Shin Yokohama, lots of Akihabara, NINJA Akasaka, and whatever else we decide to do.

I've made all the reservations, I suppose the last few things I need to do are:

Wrap up stuff at work (just finished my automation...YES!)
Call the credit card companies to activate my cards for overseas travel (I hate the phone...)
Obtain gifts for the folks that will be showing us around (Need something for Jean Francois, something for Satoshi, and a few little things I can give out should I need to...)
Begin putting stuff together (clothes, gifts, stuff to bring)
Decide on the final list of stuff to buy...

Well...about that last one:

FF Advent Children Complete with FFXIII Demo
Shirokishi Monogatari PS3 (it's _CHEAP_!)


JPWii / Advanced Classic Controller / probably a game or two, but nothing comes to mind
JPS2 / Arcana Heart 2 SUGOI! / Fate://Unlimited Codes / + more cheapstuffs
JP360 / DeathSmiles / Otomedius

Gundam vs Gundam/Eloquent Fist PSP

Hori HRAP (for Soup)
Kurukuru Kururin GBA (for axl)
Rhythm Tengoku GBA (for axl)

このリストは少し長すぎるかな。。。円がちょっと。。。
...I think I need more yen...XD
Good thing I have the big suitcase...

JRPG Creation for Dummies: Tutorial

FAQ:

Why didn't you pass this out at the panel? Why did we have to come to your stupid blog to get the goods?!

ごめんけど、しかたがない。このチュトリアルはちょっと長いから、大変でした。プリントできません。

In other words, it was too long. But I can get more and better information to you guys this way, and it provides an easy way to contact me if you have additional questions.

What is RPG Maker 2003?

An oldie-but-goodie RPG Creation Engine by game company Enterbrain. Although similar to the ones released for the Playstation and Playstation 2, the battle system and scripting language in RPG Maker 2003 is both simple and powerful. The fact it's a PC program allows for easy importing of resources.

Most of us otaku have dreamt of being able to bring our fanfiction or original stories to life in JRPG form (you KNOW you have, don't deny it). This engine allows you to do just that. It's complicated enough to be powerful, while simple enough to learn in a relatively short amount of time.

I'm a baka when it comes to programming. Is it really even worth my time?

YES! As a matter of fact, anyone with a little patience and creativity can craft a JRPG using this engine. Admittedly, it's a lot easier to find resources than make your own, but the engine provides all that you need.

I'm a baka when it comes to drawing. I can't do art. Is this really even worth my time?

DEFINITELY! There are plenty of resources included in the program as well as capacity to import other stuff you find around the intarwebz. Of course, you can always make your own too, should you be artistically inclined.

Why 2003? Doesn't RPG Maker XP have an official English release? Why use its predecessor for this panel?

I've tinkered with the official English release of RPG Maker XP, and although the engine is more powerful and flexible than RPG Maker 2003's engine, it is also a lot less user-friendly. As opposed to 2003, which uses an event-based scripting language, XP contains an entire programming language. Since this panel is meant for beginners, XP really isn't the best place to start when crafting your masterpiece. If you're familiar with code though, go for it.

Where can I get the program?

Here: http://www.geocities.com/rpgmlinks/rpgm2k3.html
I'm not going to be handing out copies, since the copy I have is a fan translation.

Where can I get charset/faceset/music/tileset resources?
Again, check the site above. Since a lot of resources are creations derived from existing games, I'm not providing direct links.

1.) Project Creation

File -> New Project

Enter a Name and Location for your game.

2.) Map Creation

In order to generate your first map, open your project and right-click the file icon on the bottom-left corner of the interface (labeled with the name of your game). Select New Map. You will then see the following screen:

You can do a lot from here, but the main items you want to consider as basics are:

Name - The name of your map (for easy reference within a project)

Tileset - The tileset that will be used for your map. Note that a tileset is a set of items and textures that are placed on a grid to create a map layout (as will be referenced below).

Dimensions - Each map is a grid. So the default demensions are 20 boxes long by 15 boxes high.

Enemy Encounters - This is where you set the monster groups you'd like to appear as random encounters on this map. In this case, we don't want any. Click OK and you'll have your map.

You can place objects from the left-hand side into your map using the interface above. The pencil icon allows you to place single-squares, the gray rectangle allows selection of map elements, the magnifying glass zooms using mouse buttons, the square and circle arrow icons allow placement of objects in a square or circle pattern respectively, and the paint can "fills" the entire area with the selected tile(s).

Tiles are multiple-select, so you can highlight a bunch at a time for placement...like so:

Placing the map is as easy as placing these tiles on the grid. There are three layers of tiles: the lower tile layer (represented by the green icon), the upper tile layer (represented by the blue icon), and the event tile layer (represented by the orange icon). Each tile layer has a different set of objects (though the event layer tends to overlap with the upper tile layer). If I select the event tile layer icon, look what happens to the interface:

The tileset changed. Each tileset has different objects for each of the three layers, so this provides a lot of flexibility when determining how to create your maps.

For now, switch back to the bottom layer and add some grass and perhaps a few stones and water to your map. It should look something like this:

3.) Character Setup via Database

In order to set many options for your game, that is create and set character sprites, skills, items, levels, etc., you will need the Database. To reach it, go to Tools -> Database. There are far too many options to discuss in detail here, so let's just stick to the basics. For starters, the Hero tab:

This is where you create your characters. The ArraySize button determines the number of hero (playable) characters in your game. There are some default characters created when starting a new project with RPG Maker. You can modify character parameters, etc. from here as well. The RTP (the set of items already present in RPG Maker in order for you to play with) has a bunch of character sprites, battle sprites, and facesets for you to play with, but you can also import your own).

In order to make a playable game, two more items must be taken care of. First, go to the System tab and ensure your first hero is selected in the Starting Party list.

Now exit the database and select the Event layer. Right click and select "Place Party Starting Position".

This will spawn your character at that particular location when starting the game. For now, place it as shown.

There! Now you can test your game! To do this, click the big yellow arrow. Say yes to save your changes, and you're off! Select New Game from the menu, and you should be up and running.

All you can do at this point is walk around your map for now, but that's a start. See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?

Now that we got the basics out of the way, it's time to teach you some cool stuff. Instead of boring you with mounds of instructions, though, I'll PROVIDE the code and just explain it slightly. First, the talking NPC.

4.) The Talking NPC

First enter the event layer and highlight the spot two squares north of your hero's starting position. This will take you into the Event Editor.

Name your event Talking_NPC and click Set under Event Graphic to select an icon for your NPC. For simplicity, I will use the first character in the "hero 1" sprite set. This is included in the RTP.

Now under movement type, I select "Random" to make him walk around. There's no rhyme or reason to the pattern for this option, just like with most old-school RPG townsfolk.

Click New Page at the top of the dialog to ensure your event has two pages (this will be so the speech will change when speaking to the NPC a second time, as discussed below).

Now, copy the following code into the first page ( by highlighting an empty line of code in the Event Commands window)... this should take you to the Event Commands dialog, which contains lots and lots of options. For now, concern yourself with just the Face Graphics button (third button from the top) and the Message button (first button from the top). Click the Face Graphics button, then the Set button, then select the first face graphic from faceset Chara 1, 1 from the RTP. Click OK. Next, click the Message button and enter the text "Hi, I'm a talking NPC!" and click OK. Click the Message button again and enter the text: "In order to make me say something different, I need a switch!", then click OK again. Click OK to exit Event Commands.

After that, your event editor screen should look like this (sorry for the blur):

<>Change Face Graphics: Chara1, 1, Left,

<>Message: Hi, I'm a talking NPC!

<>Message: In order to make me say something

: :different, I need a switch.

Now, highlight the last line as shown above and enter the Event Commands window again. Choose Switch Operations (should be the sixth button from the top) and click it. Note the Message and Face Graphics buttons are how you entered the code shown above, in case that wasn't clear from earlier instructions.

Now, click the ... next to the Single Switch option, which should take you to the Switch array, allowing you to create a new Switch for this character. For simplicity's sake, name it "TALKING_NPC". You shouldn't need to increase the array size, as this will be your first Switch. My screen looks a bit different from yours since I have a few other switches spread across this project already.

Now click OK. Your newly created switch should be highlighted in the Switch Operations dialog. This is what we want.

Click OK again.

Your Event Commands should now look like this (commands listed below, to make up for compression blur >_<):

<>Change Face Graphics: Chara1, 1, Left,

<>Message: Hi, I'm a talking NPC!

<>Message: In order to make me say something

: :different, I need a switch.

<>Switch Operation: [0001:TALKING_NPC] ON

Now, since we created the second page of the event, click it. This will take you to a new Event Commands window. This time, we're going to utilize the Preconditions to make the Event Commands listed on this page occur ONLY if the TALKING_NPC switch is turned on. Do this by clicking the checkbox next to the first "Switch" Precondition, and select TALKING_NPC as your switch.

Set the event graphic to be the same hero as the first page (YES, you have to set graphics for events for each individual page. This comes in HANDY when doing items such as treasure chests, that have different graphics depending on whether they are open or closed!). Set movement type to "Random" again, otherwise your poor NPC will stop running around once you talk to him twice. Then enter some message text like that shown below (you can use Copy and Paste on Event Commands if you don't wish to re-click the buttons on the Event Commands dialog):

<>Change Face Graphics: Chara1, 1, Left,

<>Message: Hi, I'm a talking NPC!

<>Message: Wait a minute, didn't you already

: :talk to me?

Click OK and test your game again. Don't forget to talk to the NPC twice!

With that, you've been introduced to Events, and can make talking NPCs. Next, for the treasure chest...which really isn't that much different from what we've already done with the talking NPC!

5.) The Treasure Chest

I'll screen capture the event commands for the treasure chest, and then explain the new parts.

A treasure chest will need two switches and three pages. The first page will simply do a switch operation to call the second page, which adds the item to the inventory and changes the graphic from a closed treasure chest to an open treasure chest. The switches I created for this event are: TREASUREDEMO_1 and TREASURE_OPEN. The graphics used for the event are in the Object1 tileset of the RTP.

Select a location for your treasure chest and create a new event.

Here is the first page:

<>Switch Operation: [0002:TREASUREDEMO_1] ON

<>Call Event: This Event[2]

And the second page (note that the graphic is actually the same as the first page, but the facing is different... in order for the treasure chest to appear open, select Right facing for the treasure icon rather than Down. Don't forget your precondition for TREASUREDEMO_1. The next switch operation will allow the final page's text to display if the user tries to open the already-open treasure chest. You use the Item Management event command to add items to your inventory. You can choose the sound effect for opening the treasure chest, it isn't displayed in the event code but I used "Item 2".

<>Change Face Graphics: Erase

<>Move Event: Hero, Sound Effect

<>Message: Potion...GET!

<>Change Items: Potion 1 Add

<>Switch Operation: [0003:TREASURE_OPEN] ON

And finally:

<>Change Face Graphics: Erase

<>Message: It's open.

Now test it out. You should have a working treasure chest that adds a potion to your inventory, and tells you the chest is already open if you try to open it a second time.

7.) Miscellaneous Commands

Between the Talking NPC and Treasure Chest examples, you should be well on your way to understanding how events operate in RPG Maker...but there is so much more that events can do. The last section of this little document will point to some other event commands which have lots and lots of potential for interesting applications:

a.) Show Choices: This allows the formation of a Yes/No dialog and allows the user to make a choice. Separate event code is run depending on whether a user selects the Yes option or the No option. A more generic (and programmer-esque) structure is also provided in the "Conditional Branch" event command - which allows you to make If -> Else seletion structures. Loops are also provided in the "Loop" event command.

b.) Play BGM/Fade BGM/Play Memorized BGM: Allows you to change background music options.

c.) Tint/Flash/Shake/Pan Screen: Built-in special effects. You'll see that I used these several times in the Detour demo to provide greater variety in the dialogs. These are especially important when doing cutscenes with lots of interacting events.

d.) Show Battle Animation: Similar to what happens in the Final Fantasy old-school RPGs, this allows you to project a battle animation on a map screen as opposed to a battle screen. You can use this for dramatic situations in "cutscene" dialogs, or as effects with various purposes at other times (like blowing up boulders currently impeding a player's progress).

e.) Enemy Encounter: Generates an enemy encounter during an event. Great for "staged" battles during cutscenes, or battles with bosses visible from the map screen.

f.) Move event: Very flexible, allows the moving or teleportation of events. Useful in cutscenes and in other, slightly more devious and less obvious, ways.

Capcom DLC: Shoryukens of the Wallet

Now, normally I'm not one to complain about DLC. When the 360 first launched, I found myself buying gobs of the stuff. But back then, most of the items on offer were significant additions to the games - extra quests, characters, levels, and the like. But then something started to happen. First with EA and some other American publishers eager to bilk consumers out of a couple extra bucks on top of a $60 game...this later spread to the Japanese publishers, on some of their more significant titles. It began with Horse Armor, and is now encompassing maps, modes of gameplay, and more. This is all well and good, except for one thing. Most of this content is ALREADY ON THE DISC YOU PURCHASE.

Fortunately for Capcom, in SFIV's case, the promised GAMEPLAY-related DLC will be free to the masses (the recently announced Championship mode, which adds much needed multiplayer enhancements). That said, it doesn't excuse them from this grotesque practice. They stuffed the SFIV release disc full of extra costumes and are releasing the unlock keys to XBL and PSN on a weekly basis. To get the extra costumes for all the characters, you'll need to shell out $15 when all is said and done. W...T...F?! These are the same costumes, I might add, that were unlocked via time release in the original arcade version of SFIV, and they aren't available in the console version without shelling out a grand total of 1/4 the MSRP of the game.

This brings up a very interesting debate. If we buy a game disc, do we have access to all its content? Many consumers would argue "yes", the companies would definitely argue "no". Companies in the digital distribution era are VERY set on the idea of selling you a "license" as opposed to "software". Doing so allows for two major benefits: first, they can cut their production costs by shipping a disc containing more content than the user paid for in its purchase price and allow the user to unlock it later by paying the fee, and second, it also allows for a deterrant to resale (by limiting access to extra content to those who purchase the game new, and denying access to those who bought secondhand versions). Many businesses, including Microsoft and IBM, will ship discs containing multiple versions of a product and will only allow the user to install what they paid for. So in some ways, this could be argued as the same practice at work here. That said, something still stinks when you pay $60 for a "complete game" and then find out features shipped in the final product were deliberately made inaccessible so they can be bought later. The most brazen examples of this practice actually come from "Scam"co Bandai, who locked Yoda and Vader to their non-native consoles as well as quite a few of the custom armor pieces in Soulcalibur IV...entire levels in Beautiful Katamari...and level-ups in Tales of Vesperia.


User complaints would certainly become less common if companies stopped releasing unlock keys (rather than content itself) to the digital marketplaces. Developers: if you want to charge extra for stuff you already developed, fine... put the content itself up for release, not an unlock key. Leave it out of the final game build. At the very least, you'd receive less complaints from users, they'd be none the wiser that it was developed in advance of the game's release. They're having issues with this very problem right now. Capcom is defending its addition of RE5's versus mode as premium DLC - stating that although it uses resources from the original game, it required additional time and effort to develop these extra modes. Great. That's fine. But when the mode finally is released in a couple of weeks, everyone will know immediately whether they're downloading an extra mode or a 128kb unlock key for content that players should already be able to access. If they're smart, they'll keep it out of the game's final build to avoid the tidal wave of negative publicity that would surely result from those who bought the "add-on". "LOLZ. It was already there!!! GOT UR MONEYZ ANYWAYZZ!!!"


If I were more brazen, I'd be looking for another way to deal with this problem - a technological solution, in fact. There has to be a way to obtain these unlock keys by looking through the source code of the disc and then downloading them explicitly into your console - bypassing the marketplaces altogether. I'm not sure what kind of security measures they have in place for DLC, but I do know it is very possible to burn certain files (demos mostly) to DVD and have them play on a 360. With the right third-party software, I see no reason outright why someone wouldn't be able to "game genie" or "gameshark" the "DLC" right out of each disc. Because this could technically be classified as "STEALING" by the software license model (but not by the disc ownership model), you can bet the company releasing such a product would be facing lawsuits from all directions, which is probably why cheat devices for the next gen consoles have yet to materialize. However, the entire gaming community would thank the company that developed such a solution for keeping publishers honest. It's really easy, guys...if you're thinking about releasing DLC for your games, follow these rules:

1.) Avoid putting the content on the disc, no matter how trivial it is. If you MUST charge for DLC that's developed before the game is released, release the content to the marketplaces - don't release unlock codes. It just makes people feel ripped off.

2.) If you MUST release unlock codes, disclose it to consumers so they don't feel ripped off. It's a lot easier to feel ripped off if a consumer isn't told up front that they aren't receiving "ALL" the features of the game included in the price tag. I think most companies feel they get away with this with the "XBL Compatible" or "PSN Compatible" logos, but that's absolute shenanigans at their finest. MMO companies are forced to disclose monthly fees, so publishers should be forced to declare "premium content" that's inaccessible without paying more money to download the unlock keys.

Publishers, I'm not asking you to stop, I'm simply asking for full disclosure.

And I practice what I preach. Being a day 1 purchaser of the CE of SFIV for the PS3, I have yet to download the Brawler costume pack that came for free with my CE...because I don't want to encourage the practice. Screw it. I don't need alternate costumes for SOME of the characters - it's either all or none. I choose none.

Gaijin Superpowers

While looking up our intended agenda for our whirlwind Japan trip next month, I came across something really interesting. A blog, started back in 2005 by a young African-American individual and alumnus of the JET program (for those unaware, the JET program brings foreigners with college degrees over to Japan to assist in English classes, very cool in my opinion). In any case, this blog dealt with his misadventures in Tokyo. One of the older, but more interesting, entries deals with the superpowers granted to foreigners upon stepping foot in the Japanese archipelago. Some of these are just point-blank hilarious and the sad part is, all are pretty much 100% accurate. Enjoy the descriptions and see my analysis below:

From: http://www.gaijinsmash.net

Gaijin Smash - I can't take credit for Gaijin Smash; it was my friend's creation. A Gaijin Smash is anytime a Westerner exerts inherent dominance over the Japanese people. We do what we want and they can't stop us. The Japanese people do what we want because they can't stand up to us. It's beautiful. The best way to define Gaijin Smash is through examples.

When we went out drinking one of my friends would buy the cheapest return ticket, just to get him through the gates. When we'd arrive home, his ticket triggered the gate alarms, but he'd just plow right through and keep walking. The station worker would look up, and he'd want to say something, he really did. But then he was confronted by a Gaijin walking quickly away from him. I can only imagine the thoughts running through his head. "Oh my God! Do I have to speak English? What if I make him angry? Will he eat my children?" Paralyzed, the worker can only stand there while my friend escapes. Gaijin Smash.

Or, take a look at recent current events. Japan has troops in Iraq. Japan barely has troops at all yet there they are in Iraq. Why do you think that is?

President Bush: Hey Japan, America's gonna invade Iraq. We want you to send us some troops for support.

Prime Minister Koizumi: Um, but...we don't really have an army, just a Self-Defense Force. And NOBODY here has anything to do with Iraq, the public is strongly anti-war, it's kind of pointless for us...

Bush: I don't care. Coalition of the Willing. You're coming.

Koizumi: Ok. I'm sorry for my insolence. The troops are on their way.

Bush: Oh yeah. Gaijin Smash.

For the record, the first ever Gaijin Smash recorded in history was performed by Commodore Matthew Perry in 1853. Japan closed borders and was very isolationist. Then one day, Perry rolled up demanding Japan open its borders for foreign commerce.

Perry: Hey! Open up Japan!

The Japanese: That's an interesting idea. Here's another one. How about we shuffle our feet until you get frustrated and leave?

Perry: A'ight. I'll be back.

7 months later, Perry returned with nine, count 'em, nine gunships.

Perry: Hey Japan! Open up. Or I'll blast you clear into China.

The Japanese: Aaahhhh! Mr. Perry-san, welcome to Japan! Please do come in!

Perry: Gaijin Smash.

Lest I forget, I should explain that as guests in a foreign country, we're supposed to learn and assimilate some of our host's culture and tradition. So if you are ever in a position to perform some of these attacks, you should first strike a series of stylish and overblown poses, while screaming out the attack name with all your might. Anything less is just dishonorable.

Before you actually do that though, you should smirk and explain exactly how your attack works and what you did to get it. For example, for Gaijin Smash, one might say (I still love "one might say"), "Haha, I have already won this fight. I shall now show you the awesome power of my Gaijin Smash. I acquired this attack when I was born with a bigger body than you. Over the years, I developed it by keeping up a steady diet of McDonalds, and parking in the closest spaces to wherever I went. It is the perfect attack."

Although the explanation speech works best if one of your friends who is watching gives it for you (while you maintain your smirk). In the absence of friends or onlookers you can say it yourself.

Gaijin Power - I was in a local bar with two male friends, American and Japanese. This bar is kind of known as a pick-up bar, especially for Japanese women and foreign men. Anyway, our Japanese friend spotted a cute girl. We told him to go talk to her, but he refused, saying it was pointless because he'd only fail. We tried to tell him he wouldn't know until he actually tried, but no go. "You guys don't understand," he said, "You have Gaijin Power so you have no problems getting girls."

Gaijin Power? The hell is that? This wasn't the first time I'd heard this from Japanese men, so my friend and I tried to find out more about this "Gaijin Power." We both set out and, working as a Dynamic Duo (Holy Japanese sluts, Batman!), we found pairs of girls and tried to talk to them. We were pretty unsuccessful, which leads me to believe our Japanese friend was full of shit. Or maybe we just suck.

Gaijin Optic Blast - This is usually more of a counter-attack. We foreigners get stared at. A lot. Gaijin Optic Blast is the wonderful technique of staring back. It's so easy, yet so effective! As soon as they realize we're staring back, they look away. It's like a projectile version of the Gaijin Smash. The only thing is, you have to keep up the Gaijin Optic Blast, because as soon as they think you are looking away, they resume staring. Do it right though, and once is a charm.

On bad days, I'll spread my Gaijin Perimeter, and combo a Gaijin Optic Blast into a Gaijin Smash for 70% damage. And when I have meter... watch out, cause then I can cancel into Super Gaijin Smash, and there's just no coming back from that.

Analysis: The Gaijin Smash

Put simply, this is playing the "dumb foreigner" card even when you're perfectly capable and completely understand what's going on. You play dumb so you can break social norms, skip to the front of lines, avoid paying train fares, etc. Personally, I don't find much appeal in this, however it becomes important if you're ever dealing with "The Law" overseas. I do not condone using the Gaijin Smash to skirt paying for things (although my girlfriend suggested a really funny Gaijin Smash where one could deliberately underpay for something, nod and bow a lot, and walk out), but I do believe it can be important to play dumb if one runs into trouble. If I was ever stopped by a cop overseas, I'd probably feign ignorance of the Japanese language entirely. It saves so many complications that could possibly arise in a nasty situation.

A side note: I was personally Gaijin Smashed by a Mexican national that I had a car accident with. He was speaking perfect English, yelling at me, until the cop showed up and then he magically, conveniently, forgot any and all of the English he had ever learned. Funny, since he had a Mexican drivers license and no insurance on that car, and yet managed to skirt any and all ticket fines because of the language barrier. Gaijin Smash.

I hope I will never have to use or abuse this power, although the potential for hilarity is high.

Analysis: The Gaijin Power

This is a legend that I've heard time and time again ever since I first became interested in Japanese language and culture. Apparently, Westerners have some sort of exotic appeal in Japan, so much so that a guy with pretty much zero luck with women in his own country can go over there and become a Casanova overnight simply because he looks different (not necessarily better, but *different*). And although Japan is a very homogeneous society, it's "in vogue" for the younger generations to intermingle with Westerners. That said, I had huge doubts about how strong this superpower would be to the average American Otaku. I doubted very much very many young Japanese women would be racing to fawn over the average dorkus maximus as he fawned over the BlazBlue cabinets peppered all over Tokyo's game centers that he never saw back home.

I've known quite a few people during my Japanese studies in college who went abroad to study...nearly all of them came back with Japanese fiancees. Note I said FIANCEES and not girlfriends! It was amazing. And these were all angsty gaijins much like myself who really didn't have the best luck in the world when it came to the fairer sex. Most were exceptionally bitter about it, but were very curious if the legends of the Gaijin Power were true. And they returned with smoking hot Japanese girls that wanted to marry them! Amazing!

But something else happened to those guys as well, something that the GaijinSmash blog fails to mention. I've witnessed this phenomenon firsthand multiple times, and have dubbed it: 外人メトロ変身, or, in Romaji/English, the "Gaijin Metro Henshin" ("Gaijin Metro Metamorphosis"). Somehow, dating a Japanese fashionista managed to "clean" these guys up, in some ways more alarming than others. They began dressing nicer, wearing fashionable clothes daily, carrying man purses (yes, there is such a thing, and they're VERY common in Japan), and changing their entire demeanor to appear VERY, VERY metrosexual. And it STICKS when they come back to the States. I theorize that the cause of this is directly related to a cataclysmic explosion of one's latent Gaijin Power abilities, similar to what happens to Ichigo's reiatsu when he goes into Hollow mode or Son Gokou's power level when he powers up to Super Saiyan. But unlike Ichigo or Gokou's transformations that fade after a period of time, the explosion of one's own Gaijin Power creates a lasting physical shift that, over time, can become permanent.

All that said, I believe I did have a run-in with my latent Gaijin Power abilities last year in Kobe (not that I was trying to use them, mind you, I'm quite happily taken by a wonderful girl here in the States). I was at a convenience store, trying to buy some snacks, when I realized I needed an unusual amount of change. Now, those who have been to Japan already know that there are many more coins than bills (in amounts similar to $1 and $5 along with smaller ones), so you end up carrying around a lot of coins eventually. I needed a 50 yen coin, around 50 cents, and was fumbling around in my massive stack of coins, apologizing to the clerk since there were people waiting in line behind me, when I get a tap on the shoulder. I turn to my right to see a cute Japanese girl (not in line at the time) who hands me a 50 yen coin. The two Japanese guys I was with started cracking up and were snapping cellphone pictures of me as I paid. I politely thanked the girl and tried to give the money back after receiving some change from the clerk, but she'd have none of it. Keep in mind that the people of Kobe are by nature friendly, at least I noticed it moreso than Tokyo, but it was still pretty funny to see the Gaijin Power at work.

Analysis: The Gaijin Optic Blast


Oh, so true. So very, very true. I know I said above that Kobe is filled with nice people... but one thing that made me uncomfortable to no end was the amount of staring. Now, I know our hotel was located in a high-fashion district. And I also know that my size and body type would make me stand out as I explored the area. BUT - did I really look so different that people needed to stop and gawk as I passed by? Over and over? I felt like I was wearing some kind of stuffed animal suit, the way EVERYONE would turn around and look at me. It felt REALLY strange at first. In fact, it was at that moment when I decided I really, really didn't want to live in Japan permanently, EVER. But if I would have known about the Gaijin Optic Blast, I could have avoided the tremendous amount of awkwardness I felt upon first stepping off the Shinkansen into Kobe. When someone stares at you, stare back. Simple. Effective. A projectile version of Gaijin Smash. And priceless.

If I have staring problems when going to Tokyo this year, or I notice that Lisa is getting Japanese Optic Blast'd, you can bet I will counter with a Gaijin Optic Blast that will knock that gaper clear off his feet.

So in conclusion, the superpowers of the Gaijin are more than myth, they're legend. And they work. If you plan on travelling to Japan anytime, remember to keep these tips in mind. They can save grief, cause amusement, and make the trip more enjoyable. The Japanese are xenophobic, and you will encounter discrimination (especially if you try to live there)...but with your Gaijin powers, you can take the lemons they feed you and make a very sweet, delicious, ice-cold glass of lemonade.

ULTRA COMBO!!!!!!!!!!!

House of the Dead: Overkill (a.k.a. Country Fried Zombie) Impressions

Uh.....okay.

Many of us expected for the next entry in the House of the Dead franchise to be a PS3 or X360 port of the arcade smash House of the Dead 4. But we'd be wrong --- very wrong. Rather than deciding to work on a HD port of an existing arcade game, Sega decided to grant the franchise license to Western developer Headstrong Games in order to craft an original entry on the Wii. Uh-oh.

Well, the results, as expected, are decidedly mixed. Rather than following the same format as the previous games in the series, this one has a distinct grindhouse feel, from "feature presentation" loading screens to the over-the-top narrator and deliberate "film grain" cutscenes. The writing is also abysmal (as par for the course for the series), but in a different way. Any character in the game can't say more than two sentences without dropping an F-bomb or a reference to innuendo, incest, or toilet humor. Particularly African-American detective Isaac Washington. His speech and attitude in the game ("typical angry black man" stereotype) isn't really doing much for African-American representation in video games - and it's not funny. Additionally, since the game takes place in Bayou City, Louisiana, there are a ton of references to offensive Southern stereotypes as well (trailer parks, incest, etc.)... being a 'Yankee' myself, I found it funny for about two seconds before it just got old. Now don't get me wrong here - none of this content offended me, it just seems brutally forced. This is the kind of content that drunken college students would find hilarious, but most people would find unnecessary.

The gameplay itself attempts to emulate House of the Dead while adding a few additional features. Unfortunately, for some reason, the game lost its "tight" arcade feel in the transition to this new development team, and the game manages to feel more like Umbrella Chronicles than House of the Dead. The engine the game is running on is capable, and throws far more zombies at you than either HotD 2 or 3 provided (particularly towards the end of the game), but the tradeoff is that framerate issues are fairly common, particularly in two-player mode. The new features, the "mo-fo slow mo" that slows the game down to provide more opportunity for headshots along with the grenades from HotD4 add a bit of strategy as far as racking up the points is concerned, but don't do a whole lot for fans of the original games.

The game looks good (for Wii) but lacks fluidity. It's certainly a labor of love, and as such I do not regret the purchase. However - a warning for HotD purists out there - this game isn't what you expect and it will probably take a while to grow on you...

Connections ( コネ )

This will be a little different than most entries I write, because it's a bit more personal. Those of you who actually know me that are reading this, know that over the last couple of years I had to make a couple of really hard decisions as to the direction my life was going to take. More recently, in the last few months I managed to dodge a ridiculously wide-sweeping layoff that caught a lot of friends and acquaintances off guard. Quite a few people I know are getting uprooted against their will, so in some ways I suppose I can say I'm lucky.

Now with my second annual trip to Japan taking place in a couple of months, I begin to realize something. Although Japan isn't much better in the jobs sector than America at the moment, I've managed, in my time at IBM Rochester, to connect with not one but two different organizations within IBM Japan along with another company outside of IBM due to family business connections. I'm meeting with all three of these groups when I go to Japan, on a purely social basis. It's going to be a blast.

The way I was brought up was to never burn bridges, and I really do want to end up in a job where I can indeed travel to Japan on business occasionally. And having these kinds of connections can't hurt. If I did end up getting hit by the axe, I probably would have tried for JET this year, because I think I have the qualifications to actually get in. But since I'm still employed and the job market is still so tumultuous, I've decided against taking any leaves of absence at least until things settle down. In the meantime I intend to grow my network as much as possible. These are great people that I'm getting to know, and I'm definitely up for opening as many doors as possible towards what could possibly be a dream made reality.

In some ways, not moving out west was actually a better decision. I'm not kidding myself - yeah, it would have been great working for the Regginator at Nintendo. But I gotta say, I think I'm building more Japanese connections from inside IBM than I could ever build there. Weird, I know...

Japan is a GO

Just finished making arrangements for my trip to Tokyo in April. Expect many blog entries and even more interesting pictures this time around...

In the meantime, my next targeted review is Street Fighter IV. Look forward to it.