All that was promised and more

I've had some time with TvC and I have to say, color me impressed. It is hands down the BEST third party effort on the Wii so far, and it's a real shame we'll never see it on these shores...

I'll have a full review soon.

Coming up...

Review incoming, barring any Freeloader FAIL... Stay tuned.

Kingdom Hearts Re: Tired

Originally part of the Japanese-only release Kingdom Hearts II: Final Mix +, the game was considered an "extra". Yes, Square-Enix is charging us full price for what was a bonus disc in a Japanese "Director's Cut" release of KHII containing new weapons, cutscenes, areas, and boss battles. Though disappointing, it is fortunate that SE decided to release re:CoM in the States at all, especially given the fact that we are definitely in the PS2's twilight years. I purchased the game solely to support SE's efforts to bring over "special edition" releases, even if we don't get the whole package...

All that said, if you liked the GBA release, or never played it, this game is for you. Just don't expect it to be a proper sequel to Kingdom Hearts II (a far superior title). The engine used to render the areas and characters is based on KH1, and therefore the areas are a little more barren than you would be used to from KHII. Also, they didn't bother to re-sync the lips with the English voice acting, which can be exceptionally distracting if you have studied Japanese at all and can actually see what the characters are saying (although for most of you that probably won't be an issue). The storyline bridges the gap between KH1 and KH2, and explains what happened to Sora prior to the start of KH2. Most of the voice actors from KH2 reprise their roles, although some notable ones are missing (though I doubt any Square fan was REALLY expecting Hayden Penettiere to reprise her role as Kairi due to her newfound fame courtesy of HEROES, so her absence isn't surprising).

To those expecting normal KH gameplay, I've got bad news for you there, too. It's a card game. Don't wince too much - it's an action-based card game. In a sense, all your actions (including items, attacks, and spells) are represented as cards, and you form a deck of commands you can use in battles. The higher the number on the card, the more effective the card is, and a card of a higher number can cancel an enemy card of a lower number. The system works surprisingly well (especially when strategy comes into play later on in the game, stacking certain combinations of cards and using them all at once in "sleight" attacks), but the fact remains that the entire system doesn't work quite as well in 3D as in 2D. As I play the game, I keep wishing for the KH2 battle system.

As I said, this was not intended to be a stand-alone game, and it shows. What you get is a 3D remake of CoM on the GBA, script largely untouched, with a few new cards and a couple new boss fights (which are welcomed). The quest is long, especially when you consider the two playable characters (I won't spoil). In order to get the full story, you'll have a lot of difficult card battling ahead of you - which may be a good thing or a bad thing. The difficulty is also ratcheted way up - especially in the second quest. You WILL die a few times, and it'll take some strategy to figure out decks to best certain bosses.

One final note: PS3 compatibility FAILS.

If you have a PS3 with SOFTWARE EMULATION (either the old 80gb model, or the MGS4 40gb special edition model), you will experience glitching in the first area of the game and won't be able to pass the tutorial. Some people bought the game concerned their game was broken or glitchy, but this turned out to be the fault of the software emulation of the console. In my opinion this is unforgivable, SE will lose a few sales to this. People with launch units (60gb or 20gb) will be able to play the game completely error-free, courtesy of hardware emulation.

Other than that, it's Kingdom Hearts...but not the triple-A Kingdom Hearts you're used to. This is more of a snack to tide us over until Birth By Sleep and 358/2 Days (yes, they REALLY are keeping those names for the American releases) hit the PSP and DS next year.

Dear SEGA:

Having played many of your games, and just about all of your Sonic titles, I have a question for you (and it's an easy one)...

What is so hard about making a quality Sonic game?! It seems with every yearly release you get an inch or so closer than the year before to regaining some kind of playability and enjoyment in the games. But for some reason you INSIST on shipping in Q4 to maximize holiday sales (rather than finishing your games).

I think Yuji Naka would be disappointed in you.

You've gone as far as to go on the record to state that Sonic 2006 was "unpolished". Yeah, "unpolished". Falling through solid ground more times than I can count, obnoxious loading times, furry-on-princess make-out session... I'd have a few more choice words for that mess besides "unpolished", but I'm sure you don't want to hear them. That game could have been good. It even showed promise, at least graphically. But the levels were untested, the load times were unforgivable, and the story was absolute garbage. I quote myself:

"I wanted to like [Sonic 2006], I REALLY did, because it's one of the few Japanese games on the [360] with a recognized brand. However, abysmal collision detection and boundary issues caused me plummeting to my death from what appeared to be solid ground...not to mention the glitchy camera, incessant load times, and poor level design issues (pressing a button to run over poorly placed pits of sand without sinking, mere milliseconds after hitting a speed booster? No thanks.) that caused me to utter many an expletive in distaste at Sonic Team's disgustingly bad QA in an attempt to release the game for the holiday season last year. The worst offender of the collision detection and bad level designs are the "mach speed" sections of the game, which play like poorly laid out racing levels. Sonic races along (all too fast) and if you hit an obstacle or enemy, you die. Simple as that. The problem is, Sonic moves too quickly, and the "wide, expansive" environments make it somewhat difficult to figure out where you're supposed to go next. Furthermore, the design of these sections feels almost random. I found myself continuously fighting the game trying to figure out what the developers WOULDN'T PLAN on a player doing, so I wouldn't fall victim to unnecessary death-by-bug. Sadly, I still ran into bugs over and over again while keeping this in mind, and never wanted to press through to obtain even one single achievement award."

Though it pains me to say it, Sonic: Unleashed isn't much better. It provides some 2.5D segments that push the series in the right direction, but other parts of the game are ripped directly from those nasty Mach Speed sections (fortunately you don't die if you hit an obstacle this time) and others are pilfered from God of War (the corny WereHog levels). Please, MAKE IT STOP. Just make a sequel to the original Sonic games, put it in HD, and stick it on the PSN and XBL. At this point, that's about all any of us former fans could ask for...and it wouldn't even cost you as much as these big-budget diarrhea discs you're farting out every year. Enough. Please. Enough...

On Castlevania Judgment (not an Epic Fail...)

Sometimes, albeit not often, the Wii has decent, if not stellar, third party contributions.

and...

Sometimes reviews can be wrong.

Case in point: Castlevania Judgment. A combination slasher/fighter/action title that is unfortunately destined to be headed to a premature death in the bargain bin due to both the tsunami of software releases over the next few weeks and to its less than stellar review scores. A game that really doesn't know what it's supposed to be, but yet got beaten up in the mainstream press far more than it deserved. A game that, surprisingly, manages to look fairly good graphically for a non-Nintendo title - especially to those that dig its anime-inspired over-the-top art style. A game that controls just fine, provided you toss the waggle-stick aside and put your classic controller or GCN Controller/Wavebird to good use.

Perhaps we'll never know why Iga decided to make this game rather than a true-blue 2D Castlevania title for Wii, and those who were expecting something like that are of course going to be extremely disappointed with Judgment. That being said, though, there's a lot to like here. Far more than the reviews would have you believe. So I suppose the best way to handle a review of this game into the genres which it represents, and then dealing with the typical criteria of graphics, sound, and control.

As a fighter, Castlevania Judgment is: 2.5/5

Unbalanced and toned down for the Wii audience. There are some technical moves to pull off here, but it's a very mash-friendly fighting game with a few exceptionally overpowered characters. The subweapons aren't all that useful, and "super attacks" (that are activated with a push of the X button on the GCN controller when the super meter is full) can drain an opponent of 75%+ of a life bar. There aren't that many characters to choose from, and the hazards in the environments feel like an afterthought (remember Mace: The Dark Age on N64? Yeah, kinda like that). I can't help but feel that this game wasn't meant to be a balanced fighter. All that said, it's still leaps and bounds ahead of Namco's sophomore Wii effort Soulcalibur Legends... then again, just about ANYTHING would have been better than Soulcalibur Legends.

As a third-person action game, Castlevania Judgment is: 3.5/5

More or less, if you liked the 3D titles in the Castlevania series... Lament of Innocence and Curse of Darkness, this game plays like a jacked-up version of the boss fights from those games. The controls are a bit different, and due to the emphasis on 1 on 1 fighting, obviously there are differences in how the game "feels", but its action roots are certainly apparent. I can't help but wonder if the game began life as a new 3D Castlevania on the Wii. Thanks, but no thanks. I actually prefer Judgment's current gameplay when compared to to running through empty corridor after empty corridor with little scenery, stopping to fight some guys, and then do the whole thing over again. Though all of these issues could have been avoided if they would have just released a real 2D Castlevania on the Wii... Judgment isn't bad, it just isn't that great either.

As a Wii game, Castlevania Judgment is: 4/5

I'll be the first to admit - I popped this game into my Wii expecting it to suck hard. Really hard. Like, really, really, "SUCK MONKEY BALLS OUT OF A BULL'S ANUS" AVGN hard.

After reading the reviews I wanted to remove it from my Gamefly queue to avoid wasting both my time and theirs. I was completely expecting a Castlevania-flavored Soulcalibur Legends style turd to be squeezed out by Konami to capitalize on the waggle craze. Thus I can't help but give it points for being BETTER than completely horrible. And that's a sad thing, but a true one. As a fighting fan, and a Castlevania fan, I'm having a good time with this game. I know it's shallow, and I know I'll probably be returning it in a few days, but for the moment, it's a lot of fun. The online is smooth and doesn't require friend codes, and the graphics are beautiful (especially with the anti-jaggie filter turned on) for a Wii game. Lots of particle effects, very little slowdown. The development team had love for this game. I don't think they had as much time as they would have liked to work on this title, but what's there is solid. And that alone is worth a rating boost, because this is one of the few third-party efforts not in the "Bratz Babiez Partyz Fashionz Dolphinz Happy Fun Ninjabreadz Manz" line of titles that sadly continue to sell to the idiot masses.

Note to the Hardcore:

As I said above, and I can't emphasize this enough: DO NOT PLAY WITH WAGGLE TURNED ON. It's just as broken as Soulcalibur Legends or Bleach, probably moreso. There's nothing I hate more than a Wii fighting game that forces waggle for every attack - it's just stupid, and I know most of you agree.

Treat this as a fanservice game, a "popcorn game" that won't have much longevity but will be fun in short bursts or to pull out at parties. It's very simplistic.

As far as how it plays (with existing games for reference)... it's two parts Destrega and one part Power Stone, coated with a thin Castlevania shell sprinkled with bits of Mace: The Dark Age. I know Destrega and Mace are pretty obscure games nowadays, but they contained several elements that made their way into Judgment: simple controls, over-the-top moves, half-baked environmental hazards, and 1 on 1 versus gameplay. In fact, Mace and Destrega keep coming up in my mind as I play Judgment. Since I liked both of those games back in the day, I don't have a ton of complaints. It's a light snack of a game in-between rich, calorie-laden first-party Nintendo goodness. That being said, it's also one of the best non-Capcom third-party efforts on the system so far. That's intended as a compliment to Konami... I'm not saying rush out to the store and buy it, but definitely give it a shot. Chances are you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Infinite Undiscovery, Last Remnant and the Decline of the JRPG

Let me start with a comment you'll probably all agree with me on: this console generation is a lousy time to be a JRPG fan, if the review scores are to be believed.

First, right out of the gate, the only promised titles are FFXIII (years and years off), and Enchanted Arms, which turned out to be sub-par and had the worst, most offensive character archetype in the history of video games (thanks, Makoto). The years ticked by and the releases finally began to trickle out of the studios - mostly for Xbox 360 (much to the chagrin of Sony fanboys who bought the PS3 believing it to be THE JRPG system of this gen - which it should have been - but its slow start cost Sony dearly), and slowly increasing in quality. Following Enchanted Arms, there was Blue Dragon, then Lost Odyssey, then a couple of oddball strategy RPG hybrids from Atlus (PS2 ports from Japan), then Tales of Vesperia, then Infinite Undiscovery, and now Last Remnant...with the promise of Star Ocean and possibly Final Fantasy XIII (FINALLY) next year.

But something happened along the way...the games came out, but really didn't get any better, if the critics were to be believed. Blue Dragon scored subpar reviews, Lost Odyssey did marginally better, Tales did okay, and Infinite Undiscovery and Last Remnant got hit _HARD_. Most of the complaints for all the JRPGs up until Infinite Undiscovery had to do with "more of the same". Apparently, the US-developed Space Marine or WWII games can get away with "more but prettier" content, but Japanese games get absolutely crucified in reviews for doing essentially the exact...same...thing.

Now it should come as no surprise that the two most "revolutionary" RPGs to hit the next-gen consoles so far, Infinite Undiscovery and Last Remnant, were also heavily criticized, but for completely different reasons. In Infinite Undiscovery's case, it was an (admittedly) minigame-glutted first 10 hours which, if you are an achievement completionist, would be one of the worst gaming experiences of your life.... make no mistake. The stealth "can't get hit" minigame. The castle siege. The ANNOYING villager rescue. The prisoner rescue where the enemies kill the prisoners before you can save them. The ridiculously cliche plot...UP TO A POINT.

Somehow I get the impression that the reviewers got fed up and never played past the first 10 hours, because the plot takes off at the end of the first disc and doesn't let up until the end of the game...and the gameplay gets better. The minigames fade away and what's left is pure FFXII style exploration and combat bliss - with an element of danger because your party members can turn on you with little warning during battles (can't explain why - plot spoilarzzz). There are a few "groaner" plot twists, the kind you tick off on a checklist, and the areas admittedly could have used a bit more polish. Overall, I'd say it certainly didn't deserve the bashing it got from the mainstream press, although it was admittedly a B-effort from a farmed-out team. Not Square-Enix caliber.

In Last Remnant's case, well, let's investigate...

I've spent the past few days digging into both Last Remnant on 360 and Tales of Symphonia: Knights of Ratato...errr, Dawn of the New World on the Wii.

As far as graphics are concerned, Last Remnant is absolutely gorgeous. It's built on UNREAL and shows that the engine can do more than display various shades of brown, red, and grey. Square-Enix vistas are brilliantly brought to life. My only concern is that the towns I've explored so far kind of blend into each other - similar archetecture and thematic elements, and all very reminiscent of FFXII's Rabanastre. Dungeons are rendered gorgeously.

The battle system is revolutionary. You control groups of units rather than single units, and get to choose actions from a predetermined pallet for each group. The camera swings wildly about the arena while the battles are taking place, as you can comandeer upwards of 20 different units simultaneously in the psuedo turn-based skirmishes. The battles require a different kind of strategy since you're not exactly sure what commands the game will give you on any given turn (this is the biggest problem with the new system), and you may be left without the ability to heal on a turn where you need it. That said, this was a very nice first attempt at trying something a little new and different - something that could be perfected with a little polish.

So why did the reviews blast it? They weren't comfortable with the new battle system, and were put off by minor technical issues. They didn't like the loading times or the fact that there was framerate stutter on occasions, and dropped the score (in some cases, such as Gamespot, quite significantly - 6.5) . Normally this wouldn't bother me, as I noticed those issues at first as well and was admittedly put off...until I installed the game to the HDD and watched those issues disappear. No more long loading times, and framerate stutters became much less common. They failed to mention this fact. Somehow I get the suspicion the mainstream press is being overcritical of the JRPG if they manage to overlook Fable II's many flaws and award it a 10, but yet give something like Last Remnant a 6.5.

Granted, the Last Remnant is far from the "second coming" of the JRPG, but it takes a good many steps in the right direction.

So much so, in fact, that I have my sneaking suspicions that those looking forward to a gameplay revolution in FFXIII may be shocked at how similar the two games end up. Let's compare: the dramatic, sweeping camera angles, complex HUD that doesn't appear to actually do much, and a lot of action sequences that you don't control (in Last Remnant's case)...but honestly, do you really expect you'll be controlling Lightning most of the time during battles? It's going to be a gussied-up, polished, and slimmed down version of Last Remnant's take on battles, but with less characters - mark my words. In my opinion, that's both a good thing and a bad thing. The American mainstream press will dump hate on it, just as it has done with Last Remnant. But those of us looking for evolution in the genre won't care one bit.

Jingle Bells, Shovelware Smells

Ah, the holiday season.

Time for laughter, cheer, family gatherings...oh yeah, and a hype blitz followed immediately by a tsunami of game releases.

Every year, without fail, the same thing. The 8-or-so weeks leading up to year's end are flooded with big name releases. Week after week, more and more are dumped on the (mostly) unsuspecting public and cause those of us aware of the industry to sigh deeply as we trudge back to Gamestop yet again and whip out our credit card for the 7th time in the last 7 weeks. The saddest part of all this? The majority of us (hardcore of the hardcore excluded) won't get around to seriously playing any of these for WEEKS - if at all.

I write this knowing full well that my reservation for Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts is waiting for me a half-mile down the road at GameStop, but I have no intention of picking it up.

No, sir.

I'm currently hammering away at Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia on DS, Disgaea3, LittleBigPlanet, and Valkyria Chronicles on PS3, Naruto Clash of Ninja Revolution 2 on Wii, and Rock Band 2 on 360. I have my hands quite full and have no reason to buy another game at the moment. Oh - I almost forgot - Banjo Kazooie on XBLA - the reason for my Nuts and Bolts pre-order in the first place.

I think, for the first time in history, marketers are finally beginning to figure this out. Although this season is pretty jam-packed, it isn't nearly as bad as the last few years (including the console launches). A lot of high-profile games were released in the spring and summer months of this year - a welcome change. MGS4, for example. And this year seems to be the same thing - games are being delayed to Q1 and Q2 (SFIV, Resident Evil 5) to add polish and improve quality. No longer is shipping in Q1-Q3 instead of Q4 a retail death sentence. There are still publishers who believe that shipping in Q4 must be done at all costs, even if it means sacrificing features or quality to do so (and I will be writing an article on one such company soon), but their numbers are dwindling.

That being said, there are still plenty of software titles being booted out the door months and months before completion in order to take advantage of the increased likelihood of sales.

I find this trend interesting for a couple of reasons... first of all, given the state of the economy, shipping in Q4 does not, in fact, guarantee a sales boost. Secondly, unless you're a well known brand (for a kiddy game) or a GOOD game (for a hardcore game), your chances of getting lost in the tidal wave of releases is better than your chances at becoming a bestseller. Hardcore gamers listen to reviews (most of the time), so if you've been blowing smoke up people's asses with a strategically clever marketing campaign only to turn around and sell them a miserable pile of crap, people will know about it. Look at Kane and Lynch - or Assassin's Creed (sorry Jade...even your cute Canadian accent and "girl next door obtainable" hotness couldn't save that pile of dog doodoo you call a game). Reviews matter. Hype does too - but less so. The worse the economy gets, the more people will actually begin paying attention to whether a game is worthy of their hard-earned money (a trend that, sadly, all movie-licensed or kids titles seem blissfully exempt from).

I'd like to take this time to launch into a tirade about Sega deciding to domestically release Sonic Unleashed for 360 and PS3 in a few weeks despite a delay in Japan over "quality concerns". I smell a Sonic 2006-style turd coming out of Sonic Team, and it sure reeks. I have it queued up on Gamefly, and will be writing about my impressions when it launches. Hopefully this game, at least, won't have furry-on-princess makeout sessions. That alone would be an improvement.

LittleBigPlanet - Impressions from the Beta

Hype is an interesting thing. In many cases it manages to get us excited for products that, when finally released, fail to live up to the colossal expecations the fanbase has set for them. I'd like to call this the "Too Human effect". Some titles, such as Kingdom Hearts 2, GTA4, and Halo 3 manage to overcome the problem to some degree and meet the expectations most players have set for them. Very few, however, manage to exceed those expectations - especially when sequels are concerned.

LittleBigPlanet is an interesting case because not only is it a brand new franchise, but it's a gargantuan-budget title that was created by a fairly unknown developer, but somehow managed to become the PS3's "next big thing" throughout its development cycle (at least since it was first revealed at GDC 07). And even more interesting - it manages to exceed every expectation set for it.

Not to say that it's a perfect game, but its powerful creation tools and easily understandable interface manage to make it the most "hardcore" "casual" game I've ever seen. This is probably the first game (aside from Rock Band) that I've been able to pull out at a mixed gathering of people from different gaming backgrounds and get a unanimously positive response. This is a very good thing for Sony.

Now, enough with the fluff...

Basically, LBP's story mode (where you unlock most of the objects for use in the create mode) has you progressing through a series of levels. X button jumps, R1 button grabs. That's all you need for level navigation. If you want to get fancy, you can open your "popit" (LBP's substitute for an options menu) and place stickers and other decorations around the environments at will. Occasionally you'll need to put a certain sticker on a specific background in order to progress. That's about as complicated as the mechanics get. However, the levels are designed to be gigantic physics-based playgrounds. You have different materials reacting as they should (stone vs sponge vs cardboard, for example), rockets, switches, springs, wheels, and more - all seamlessly integrated into the levels. The level design is impeccable (at least in the few maps the beta has given us to dink around with), and more importantly gives a lot of ideas

The game's main draw - and the feature that will keep LBP active for years past its launch day - is the much described level creator. This feature allows players to build their own levels from scratch. Many features of the level editor workon an event - trigger mechanism, that is -if the player does *a*, then make *b* happen. For those familiar with the structure of computer programs, it's very simplified, but everything makes sense. You hook a switch to an object, tweak the parameters, and test it out. A few times during level creation I got results I wasn't expecting from chaining events like this together -- either due to unexpected tool behavior or Newtonian flukes caused by the game's realistic physics...but interestingly enough, these "mistakes" actually open up more creative ideas more often than not.

The only real complaints I have about the level editor are rooted in the wonky undo system that rewinds your last few actions (especially when testing objects...sometimes you can screw yourself a bit too easily and accidentally destroy your level, but the undo system doesn't seem to have a very large cache of actions for these particular cases, leading to some problems) and the DualShock 3 controller itself... Although all the tools are easily accessible via the in-game Popit menu, creating land masses (even with the many shapes provided) is a chore. There have been many, many times where I kept wishing for access to a keyboard/mouse configuration. Also, the tutorials do a great job at explaining the tools individually, but really don't tell you much about how you can fit them together. Once you get the hang of it, though you can build an object like a rocket-powered car in under a minute, using just a couple of the many tools provided to you. For the less daring , you can also unlock many story-based objects in the story mode to use in your levels. Beta-specific complaints include game freezes during online play, problems publishing levels, and a save data corruption that caused me to lose a few hours of work and forced me to replay all the tutorials I'd already gotten through. Considering this is a BETA, not a DEMO, this is more than forgivable. I do wish there was a centralized place to report issues, though (rather than forums, which are fairly obnoxious).

Sharing levels is as simple as selecting "Publish" from the pod screen and selecting a location on the "LittleBigPlanet" where your level icon will be shown. Other players can then enter it, try it out, and rate it. If you're feeling particularly generous, you can reward players with "prize bubbles" in your levels that will give them access to the objects you create. This is the feature that will extend the life of LBP far beyond the "first month high" most big-budget games receive.

In conclusion, I'm thoroughly impressed with this game. I think this is probably the first PS3 exclusive to really show promise as to what the PS3 provides over competing consoles. This is a game that could have (and should have) gone to the Wii, if the Wii hardware was current-gen rather than last-gen. It's the most hardcore casual game out there (or casual hardcore game, if you prefer), and it's a blast to play.

Now please, Sony, don't ruin my experience with a bunch of pay-only DLC.

MegaMan 9 *Language Warning*

Nothing brings back more gaming memories from my childhood than Mega Man. From the awful cover art to the addictive gameplay, the series was a hallmark for NES action titles back in the early 90's. In fact, conquering Mega Man 2 and 3 represents a large part of the gaming pride I had as a kid.

Fast forward to 2008.

Capcom releases Mega Man 9, a throwback in every way to the older Mega Man titles on NES. Gone is the Mega Buster shot and the slide. Gone is the next-gen sheen, replaced with 4-color sprites ripped right out of the early 1990's, and deliberately added sprite flicker/slowdown. Gone is the sanity of late 2-D platformers (SotN, New Super Mario Bros. etc.), replaced with "conveniently" respawning enemies, spikes, bottomless pits, and disappearing block puzzles over said spikes and bottomless pits. The difficulty is amped up so much in this release that in my 2 hours with the game so far (trying out the different stages), I have yet to be able to make it to a single robot master. I feel for all the TVs that will soon be shattered by incoming controller projectiles...the amount of sheer frustration this game has the potential to generate is maddening.

To give you an idea of how maddening this was, I present to you a stream of consciousness during an attempted playthrough of Splash Woman's stage (supposedly the easiest in the game), inspired by the Angry Video Game Nerd:

"Ok, GameFAQs said Splash Woman should be taken down first - who am I to argue? Splash Woman it is. Hey, this interface looks a lot like MM3's selection screen. Too bad it's not 480p, maybe I should have waited for the 360 version."

"Splash Woman. Here we go. Let's get it on!"

"Hmm...low resolution mermaid. How original. Love the old school music, though. I wonder what the stage will look like."

"Water. Nice fake light effects - ha ha. Go figure. Okay, walking right, walking right..."

"Bombs. Jump over the...WTF?! They home in?"

*MegaMan gets hit*

"Damn. Shoot 'em instead?"

*MegaMan shoots and the MegaBuster shots bounce off*

"Crap! What a way to start the stage, half my life bar's gone. Screw this, just take the hits, get past 'em, and drop into the hole."

*Drops into the hole, next screen*

"Next screen. Robo-octopus firing shots of ink at me. Yet again, shots bouncing off. Gotta shoot it in the head. 3 shots and he's down, but now I'm colored black from getting hit with the ink... doesn't seem to do anything, so oh well."

"Ok, few more enemies, couple of jumps... ooh, a bolt guarded by another octopus. Take this, octopussy! 3 shots...and he's down. Leap over the hole, grab the bolt...YOINK. Drop in...next screen!"

*Drops into the hole. Spikes halfway down, falls right into them and dies*

"....What?! Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?! Mega-ASS!"

*Starts over at the beginning*

"FUCK!!! I forgot - no checkpoints until halfway through each stage...this is almost too old school for its own good. Back to the bombs...easier to avoid this time."

*Navigates to the previous point, dodging the spikes*

"HA, take THAT! YEAHH BOYYYYEEEEEEE!"

"Veering left...more spikes - but easier to avoid this time...reminds me of the Doc Robot stages from MM3. I don't remember them being this hard, though..."

*next screen, jets creating bubbles of different sizes that float up the screen*

"Oh, GREAT. I know where this is going...have to hop on the bubbles..."

*hops on a small one and it breaks*

"Ok, I get it. Small ones break, large ones don't. So ride the large one up...probably into a huge wall of spikes..."

*rides up the screen*

"Completely empty next screen, no spikes! Shocking..."

*squid comes out of left side of screen and knocks MegaMan off bubble*

"SHIT. Damn squid. Ok. Dodge the squid next time."

*Navigates up 2 screens on the bubbles, narrowly missing a last-second sniping squid from the left side of the screen*

"Hah, another squid, right at the end! Very clever, Capcom. Next!"

*A few screens later, there's a moving platform puzzle with platforms coming out of the walls moving right and left and then disappearing*

"Ugh. Now it's getting ugly. First take care of that robot... HA! GOTCHA! Now jump on the platforms...and .... wow, that wasn't so bad."

"How much you wanna bet there will be another puzzle with these damn blocks combined with spikes or bottomless pits?"

*the next screen does indeed have such a puzzle*

"Spikes for 500, Alex."

"Looks like I need to time my jumps exactly right this time. Okay, see the pattern. Get across the spikes, make it to the platform on the left."

*hops successfully onto solid platform, only to get bumped off by a moving platform that comes out of the wall immediately after landing, lands on the spikes and dies*

"ASS! Why am I NOT surprised..."

"AAARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! Ok, that's it, I need a beer."

*Yes, I actually went to the fridge and got a Rolling Rock at this point, left over when a friend bought some for a party last month*

"Oh, look, I get to start over from the bubbles. That's OK, I guess..."

*back to the second block screen*

"FUCK this. Alright puppy, time to earn your keep...Rush Coil, do your thing. Let's get over to the left side of the platform, call the doggy, hop up...and...."

*misses the ladder, not high enough...and another death-by-spiking*

"GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!! FUCKING PUPPY PIECE OF SHIT!!!!"

*Game Over*

"I'll never play this piece of crap game...EVER EVER AGAIN."

Okay, maybe I'm over-exaggerating. I will play the game again - maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment.

I mentioned both MM2 and MM3 at the beginning of this review. Now, I know, for a _FACT_, that both of those games were not nearly as cheap as MM9 - not by a longshot. How do I know? As recently as 3 years ago I went back and beat them both again on the Mega Man Anniversary Collection for PS2. And although my retro gaming skills were a little rough at the time, I had nowhere near as many deaths on those games as I have experienced with 2 hours... 2 HOURS...of MM9.

Maybe it's for the best - I mean, I do notice myself getting better with each attempt...something I like to call Ninja Gaiden syndrome. A game will continually make you its bitch and you come back for more and more - improving your skill just a little each time - until the obstacles that once proved insurmountable are nothing to you.

Hopefully I have the patience for this...otherwise, I'd better start looking for a new TV and Wiimote, just in case my Mega-rage gets the better of me.

A New Challenger Appears - 27 Trojan Horses Courtesy of "Marvel vs Capcom 3"

Let this be a lesson to all of you.... if something is too good to be true, it probably is. Also, never download anything from IsoHunt. One minute I'm playing the best fan-made game ever, and the next my computer is hijacked by about 78 million pieces of malware...

It all started last night. On a whim while browsing YouTube, I came across videos of a "build" of Marvel Vs Capcom 3 with over 115 characters. Unofficial of course, it was a fanboy's wet dream. Completely fan-built from scratch using M.U.G.E.N. - an open source fighting engine. Everyone from Firebrand to Phoenix to Galactus was playable, a dream come true.

Since the YouTube videos didn't contain any links to the game with characters included (only shells due to copyright reasons), I went ahead and downloaded it from IsoHunt.com, the only place that seemed to have the full build.

Bad idea.

Terrible idea.

In fact, probably the worst idea I've ever had.

After a 15 hour download, I finally unzipped the colossal directory and started playing the game. At first the .exe didn't work (showing an error stating files were missing), and I had to download a "fresh" one from an open source site for M.U.G.E.N. - that should have been my first hint that something was amiss...but I didn't listen and started playing. Aside from a bit of slowdown, it played just as I had hoped it would, albeit being a little rough around the edges...

Then something happened. All of the sudden, about 20 IE windows opened (funny, I'm using Firefox), my background changes to a bleeding biohazard sign, and a bunch of warnings pop up about being infected with everything from viruses to spyware. YIKES! I pulled the internet out on my computer and got a freeze...

Upon starting in safe mode with networking and downloading a couple of diagnostic programs, I found that Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 hit me with not 1, not 2, but 27 different trojan horses. Most of which I believe are removed at this point, but in order to have any kind of confidence in running anything on my PC again, it looks like I'm going to be fresh-installing Windows once my Trojan-free backup files are done copying over the network.

And with that, it's time to wipe my hard drive and start over again. A moment of silence for my PC...

And a big FUCK YOU to "Marvel vs. Capcom 3". Thanks A LOT....

Achievements: Boon or Bane?

It's been a long time coming, but I've finally had a few minutes to sit down and tackle one of the most interesting developments to come out of the "current gen" consoles.

There is nothing worse than going to your profile page in Xbox LIVE and seeing not only your total achievement count and gamerscore, but the dreaded "OUT OF" gamerscore number. That is, every time you put a game in your 360 (or download a full version of a LIVE title), it adds the total value of the possible earned achievements to this number. Thus, if you have played 42 full games, you'll have a gamerscore out of 42,000 points! It guilts you into feeling like you've wasted your money on a game if you haven't played it enough to milk most of the achievements out of it.

In my opinion, there are right ways and wrong ways to do achievements:

WRONG WAY: Eternal Sonata, Devil May Cry 4 - most of the achievements are locked away until at least the second playthrough, making you feel like you accomplished next to nothing even by working your way through a game on default difficulty levels. The games mentioned here leave the VAST MAJORITY of gamerscore points FAR out of reach until beating the game on higher difficulty levels and grinding sidequest after sidequest (1,000,000 red orbs? REALLY?)...argh...

WRONG WAY: Shadowrun, Gears of War - Lots and lots of online-only achievements. There are two problems with this. The first is finding opponents after the game's online community begins to dwindle. Lack of available opponents means there is no way to unlock the achievements, which really isn't fair to those people who actually stuck with the game in the first place! The second problem is the quality of online achievements -- they have the potential to piss off a lot of people who happen to be in a game with a person who is grinding for achievements. Things such as "get 100 kills with grenades" or "get 100 kills with the chainsaw" or "kill a team member" can turn certain game types into absolute chaos. Gears of War had quite a few of these... However, the first problem doesn't really apply if you're a game such as Halo 3 - which also did a fairly good job of avoiding too many "asshat" multiplayer achievements...

WRONG WAY: Avatar: The Last Airbender, TMNT, and other licensed games - You know you have a bad game on your hands when you make the achievements blatantly easy for no other purpose than to make sure people play your game. Movie games have been notorious for this lately, especially those based on kids' licenses. Then again, if you buy a game solely because you'll be able to pick up 1000 achievement points easily, you have bigger problems* than worrying about purchasing a bad game.
*says me, who shamefully has 1000/1000 from Avatar in his Gamerscore history... -_-;; I didn't buy it though!!

RIGHT WAY: Soulcalibur IV - Now THIS is how you do achievements. Not only are the tasks extremely varied, but many are unlocked simply by playing the game normally. Grinding for them is actually counter-productive in many cases because of the way the game is designed. Also, and more importantly, in-game rewards (in the form of equipment for custom characters) is unlocked as more achievements are earned, encouraging players to continue playing for something other than additional Gamerscore points. Adding in-game rewards to achievement milestones is something newer games are starting to try, and it's a trend I would like to see more of.

Unless implemented the right way, achievements and trophies serve little purpose other than to artificially prolong the life of a game. And believe me when I say that most (and I mean most) of the achievements that consist of simply grinding for hours and hours have the potential to bore even the most hardcore of gamers to tears. Microsoft once tried handing out free XBL games and T-shirts for a contest won by increasing gamerscore a few thousand points over a specific time period. Apparently too many people entered, because they sure haven't tried anything like that again...

Excuses, excuses... YOU MADE A BAD GAME.

First...as a software developer (albeit not games at the moment) I understand the need to appeal to a userbase, and how it can reflect negatively on a product that you poured your blood, sweat, and tears into for the last year or more if you fail to take this into account. Negative reviews have an effect on sales, sales have an effect on company finances, company finances have an effect on employment, it's not rocket science here.

However, I've noticed lately in many articles (mostly referencing Nintendo's "casual revolution") that execs and developers blame reviewers for being harsh on their product for "not taking their target audience into account". Yes, they believe it's not "fair" for a games journalist to review their copy of That's So Raven GBA (OH SNAP) because it wasn't made for games journalists. Instead developers say it would be more fair to judge a game based on a focus group of the "target audience" (little girls):...

One of these articles can be found here (talking about Kane and Lynch): http://www.gamesradar.com/f/kane-lynch-how-it-feels-to-be-critically-panned/a-20080908102911734000/p-2

What this argument does is basically excuse any "flaws" in a game because the "target audience" (usually kids or "casual gamers") will forgive them. Bad graphics? Bad controls? "Meh, they're just happy to accessorize their ponyz". This argument can also be used to explain away bad graphics, control issues, and other gripes in rushed movie games: "It's for fans of the movie, they don't care about graphics or control - they're just happy to have an interactive vision of their favorite film".

BOLLOCKS.

This argument doesn't hold water for two reasons. While I can agree that certain assumptions need to be taken when reviewing a kids game, franchise game, or casual game, most of these games DO fall under one of the pre-existing game genres, and thus should be fairly compared against other games in the same genre on the same system. Does a side scroller "Hannah Montana" on the DS get a pass on its poor graphics or gameplay or whatever because the target audience is tweens? It's a SIDE SCROLLER. As much as the developer wouldn't want to admit it, it's completely fair to compare it to New Super Mario Bros. A game in the same genre on the same system that is for EVERYONE (hardcore and casual alike).

The second reason is even simpler: bad reviews should not affect your target audience if you're going after kids, women, or casuals. Because the vast majority of non-hardcore gamers WON'T BE READING GAME REVIEWS. Grandma doesn't care that the game Little Jimmy asked for for Xmas got a D+ in EGM. Look at Carnival Games for Wii -- hell, look at most of the non-Nintendo titles on Wii (Capcom excluded) it makes me sick how much shovelware is selling in droves. Game executives, you can't make this argument.

After all, what about the "casual" games that are actually good by hardcore standards? Look at EA's Boom Blox, a wonderful, fun, replayable puzzler that's just as entertaining for hardcore gamers as those who have never picked up a Wiimote...and wonder how much more it would have sold if it had Mario instead of generic sheep and monkeys in the background....Where do titles like this end up in your argument?

I'm 26 years old. When I have kids, if they end up being gamers, I'd probably look at reviews before I'd buy my kids a game, just so I know I wouldn't be wasting my money on something that would get played for 5 minutes and then tossed on the shelf to collect dust for eternity... but I'm special in that regard.


All that being said, I'd still probably seppuku myself if I had to code up Bratz Ponyz Fashion, Ninjabread Man, or one of its ilk...it's games like these that make me glad I'm not a game developer. I'm guessing for most people in the industry, bad reviews aren't so surprising as much as they are expected.

Tales of Vesperia - Impressions

Three years ago, I would have laughed if you told me that the Xbox 360 would be the JRPG system of the next generation. But - lo and behold - it has become just that. Ever since the "opening shots" Blue Dragon and Lost Odyssey were fired, we've been subjected to announcement after announcement of both exclusive and non-exclusive RPGs coming to the platform. This fall we have Infinite Undiscovery and Last Remnant, and next year (hopefully but doubtfully given the game's history) we'll have the one and only FFXIII.

Namco-Bandai has been a part of this trend as well, starting first with the graphically pleasant but sorely lacking vapid WTF storyline in Eternal Sonata and later releasing the latest full-fledged entry in the Tales series exclusively for the console. It was Tales of Vesperia - not Blue Dragon, not Lost Odyssey, not The Idolm@ster (thank god) - that finally managed to get the original shipments of 360s to sell out. In fact, the game has caused massive shortages of the console...so much so that MS is redirecting shipments to the country (sadly, Vesperia fever will have died down by then, but it's still a remarkable achievement nonetheless).

The game itself is what you'd expect from a Tales entry. Traditional JRPG. It looks like a prettier version of Abyss, plays like the best parts of Symphonia, and all the private events are even fully voiced this time around. I'm currently about 5 hours in, and while the first 2-3 hours are EXTREMELY slow, the game quickly gains momentum and the drive to keep playing just to see what happens next kicks into full gear. The combat system models Symphonia and Abyss and is both deep and rewarding. Difficulties can arise when controlling AI partners (as they tend to hesitate very little before draining your inventory of healing items), and there aren't as many options for AI behavior as in past games, but in most cases a few modifications to party strategy will fix these issues when they occur. The achievements are a mixed bag. Unlike Eternal Sonata, which cockblocks players by withholding upwards of 600 points of content until conquering the game a second time on a higher difficulty setting, quite a few (though definitely not all) of Vesperia's achievements can be conquered on the first playthrough. Private actions are frequent - almost TOO frequent in fact - but at least you have the ability to skip them by pressing the Start button.

Despite the flaws inherent with RPGs of this type, I am confident in saying that I definitely recommend the game for fans of the series. Between the beautiful graphics, the above-average voice acting (though the lack of a Japanese track does hurt a bit), the depth of the real-time combat system, and the unfolding plot, it looks like Vesperia is shaping up to be a worthy entry in the long-running Tales series.

All that being said...there are a lot of great things about this game. But there isn't a whole lot we haven't seen before in the previous generation without the shinier graphics. Tales of Vesperia continues the Devil May Cry 4 style of Japanese next-gen development...that is, if it ain't broke, just make the graphics shinier and leave everything else as-is. For most people, that isn't a problem, but for others, the lack of anything revolutionary will be a dealbreaker.

Thus, X-Play (along with most other American mainstream press) will hate on it. No surprises there.

That being said, the most amazing part of this generation is... Who ever thought we'd have effeminate-yet-angsty hero-types and space marines in abundance on the SAME console?!

You heard it here first! Song debut~!!

http://www.megafileupload.com/en/file/75508/ps3ismyconsole-mp3.html

Here it is folks. Our first take on a parody.

A hopeful ballad honoring the PS3,

....to the Titanic theme.

Don't kill me, it was my (exceptionally talented) girlfriend's idea.

And yes, there is talk of a music video...it may happen.

Japanese Business Ethics Be Damned...

And the regional division of the console war claims its last, and most arguably most important, third party exclusivity victim.

Hell has frozen over, pigs have sprouted wings and taken to the skies, and Square-Enix has officially announced that previous Sony exclusive Final Fantasy XIII will be launching in the US and Europe on the Xbox 360...

Though fanboys the world over will call Square-Enix "the high priced callgirl of Japanese third-party developers" (which, sadly, is somewhat true all things considered), they made a good move here. Why? Because the Playstation 3 continues to trail both the Xbox 360 and the Wii in the US and the UK, which make up a large portion of the worldwide videogame market. If Square-Enix was concerned with only Japanese sales, there'd be no reason to port the game, as it will still move thousands upon thousands of PS3 units upon its eventual (2010?) release. The Xbox 360 version of XIII is confirmed to be US and EU exclusive, so Japan will not be getting the same multiplatform release.

It is interesting to speculate what effect a multiplatform release in Japan would have had on the currently Sony-dominated userbase there. Currently (as of today), there are actually more and better games available for the Japanese 360 as opposed to the PS3, and of those early adopters, many bought the system assuming third parties would continue to develop sequels to the franchises they love for the Sony platform.

The first gamer to own a PS3 in Japan, upon exiting the Yadobashi Camera in Tokyo, was interviewed, and when asked the reason for purchasing the PS3 he responded with two words: "Final Fantasy". The interviewer proceeded to notice that no launch games were purchased along with the console to that particular gamer. This really tends to make me wonder what the rest of the PS3 userbase in Japan is thinking, given that the attach rate of games to consoles is still pretty low.

As far as companies go, everyone wins in this arrangement. Square-Enix gets to have an actual chance at making a return on their investment in developing the game (a 10 million worldwide userbase isn't enough, even for a game like FF), Microsoft gets to compete toe-to-toe with Sony for Japanese RPG fans in the US and Europe (a fight that, right now, they appear to be winning - there are more than double the number JRPGs out on the market and in the works for the 360 when compared to the PS3 ), and Sony gets to maintain its stranglehold on the next-gen market (in Japan only - though you KNOW they're pissed about losing FF exclusivity in overseas markets).

Though I can't imagine Sony is too happy about this. Then again, considering Metal Gear Solid 4 gave the PS3 a boost in sales for.....two weeks....

I wonder just how much even Final Fantasy could do for the struggling next-gen market in Japan. The Wii, in its simplicity, continues to dominate. Which begs the question: what major Square-Enix franchises are going to end up on the Wii? (and no, spinoffs like Jag-on Quest Swords and Chocobo's Diabl...errr Dungeon don't count.)

I'd bet money on Kingdom Hearts.

Wii Third-Party Bullshots For Newly Announced Games...

Jagtastic....

http://wii.ign.com/dor/objects/14262760/castlevania-judgment/images/castlevania-judgment-screens-20080709093446040.html

or is it...????

http://wii.ign.com/dor/objects/14262760/castlevania-judgment/images/castlevania-judgment-20080711074758548.html

WTF.....?????

bullshot (n): portmanteau of screenshot and bullshit. A fabricated (or more often, modified or "polished" ) screenshot used by a company to create hype for a video game.

No surprise here. Guess Konami's polishing up their screenshots for their newly announced fighter for Wii, Castlevania Judgment. I think it's very interesting how Nintendo seems to be the _ONLY_ company making Wii graphics that match pixel-for-pixel with promotional materials.

Now, it's not too easy to tell from the screenshots I posted here from http://www.ign.com , but the top screenshot is MUCH jaggier than the one below it. Note the softer colors as well. They made the mistake of including real shots along with the packaged bullshots of both Alucard and Maria... see the links above.

This isn't new. Square-Enix is a horrible offender as well, as the screenshots prior to release of Dragon Quest Swords showed a polished, interesting, interactive take on an RPG. Instead we got a sparse, jaggy spinoff game that looks MUCH WORSE than DQVIII on the PS2. Considering the Wii's power is much greater than the PS2, there really isn't any excuse for this. And the trend of bad graphics on Square-Enix games on the Wii continues with Chocobo's Dungeon. Although better than DQSwords, the game still manages to lack polish to the point of being close to DS in terms of quality. And with Crystal Bearers cancelled (no doubt to pump resources into the cheap kingdom-sim "My Life as a King" on WiiWare, it seems that they've all but given up hope in the console.) My guess is TOSE is at fault here (as usual)... I doubt SE does any development internally on these spinoff games.

I just hope that third parties eventually realize that we're onto the little "switcheroos" they pull on us, and I've resorted to keeping my experience with third-party Wii games relegated to rentals from Gamefly, rather than purchases. I've been screwed over too many times. When will there be a non-Nintendo game for Wii that will impress me? *sigh*...

Hmm...look familiar?

So, another PS3 update 2.40 leak, and....

well, is anyone really surprised?


Great. Now I have an actual CHOICE about which e-penis needs padding when deciding between 360 and PS3 for multiplatform games. Although achievements, and soon "trophies" work to artificially pad gameplay time (and thus add to frustration and odd player behavior in multiplayer games as they try to rack up points for the gamerscore), their inclusion in the PS3's interface was only a matter of time.


Besides, "Trophies" makes way more sense than "Entitlements".


Still - this was a blatant ripoff and I think someone at M$ missed a patent opportunity here. Big time.


Expect a pro-con rant on achievements as a whole in the near future.

Afterthoughts: Ninja Gaiden II

Who doesn't love Ninjas?

Those slicing, dicing, pirate-slaughtering stealth assassins at the peak of all things cool are featured in full force for Itagaki's follow up to the original Xbox title, and taken to a whole new level. Now, there's ninja-on-ninja action (that's FIGHTING - you dirty minded fools :-P ).

After all the hype and anticipation for what was promising to be one of the most difficult games of the year, how did it all turn out?

Wonderfully.

This game has a special quality that is difficult to describe, something that I don't see very often in modern games.. "character". Each enemy, level, and ally is absolutely dripping with personality.

Although most people would argue that the storyline has more holes than swiss cheese, the villains are memorable and the levels themselves are unforgettable. If these characters were fleshed out just a bit more (even just to answer these two simple questions: how Elizabet is running around waking up other Greater Fiends when all four were supposedly asleep for centuries, and why the Black Spider Clan agreed to help her in the first place), it would have added a great deal of significance to some already very memorable personalities. Devil May Cry 4 had similar story issues, but its characters were nowhere near as memorable (with the possible exception of Nero, who made an excellent counter to Dante). Though the principal characters in NGII don't say much, the combination of their look, movement, voice, and (in the case of bosses) attack patterns is exceptionally polished and it shows. The story isn't nearly as bad as people make it out to be, although it does play out more like an "epic" summer blockbuster movie than anything else.

The combat itself is solid, and the feature updates (such as the fatalit...err... obliteration techniques and enemy limb removal) allow for additional strategy in what used to be a block-block-dodge-attack-block-block-dodge-attack combo system. In fact, these changes tend to make the game feel more action-oriented than defense oriented. The "run of the mill" enemies can still kill you - that's a Ninja Gaiden trademark - but rather than taking on fewer, more powerful enemies, you'll oftentimes end up facing swarms of weaker enemies. And make no mistake - swarms can kick your ass.

The music, usually taking a backseat to action in games such as this, manages to draw the player further in, and combines gothic voices and rock for a haunting yet familiar sound that accents the gameplay and visuals of the title (of special mention are Chapter 3 and 5's music - absolutely amazing, so much so I'd probably get the soundtrack). This is also one of the few games where I can say with confidence that I prefer the English voice acting over Japanese. Visually speaking - it's superior to NG: Sigma and is about average for a 360 title. Still very good, as should be expected for a Team Ninja game - everything's very colorful and sharp. One slight issue is an occasional framerate hiccup, but nothing major.

I managed to complete the game on "Easy" - a.k.a. Path of the Acolyte - but just barely, and intend to play on Normal soon. Overall I was very impressed with the way this game turned out. Sadly with the Itagaki and Team Ninja lawsuits coming into the spotlight over at Tecmo, this may be the last Ninja Gaiden game we get for some time...

Nintendo: First 'geeks and otakus', now Freeloader FAIL...

In a move that surprised some people more than others, Nintendo has decided to wage war on its loyal fanbase this week. First up for the "Ninten-douche" award is Laurent Fischer, PR executive of Nintendo of Europe, who had the following response when asked about the growing problem with Wii storage running out for some users: "Only geeks and otaku want this issue addressed."

O RLY? >,<

Well... who's been putting food on your table for the last...oh, I don't know... 10 years or so? Certainly not the fickle casual market, who will buy a console one day and forget they have it the next. Sure, Nintendo may be riding high now, but the worst thing one can do is insult your most loyal fanbase. A lot of those "geeks and otaku" are the ones buying lots of WiiWare and Virtual Console games. You think the casuals give a rats arse about stuff like Sin and Punishment? I sure don't.

Fischer later apologized for his comment, but as far as I'm concerned the damage is already done. Yes, geeks and otaku like the Wii...I happen to be both. However, I guess I'm a bit more insulted at the trivializing of people like me. People who have money and want to spend it on lots and lots of video games --- versus the casual market who picks up a Wii, gets WiiFit, and then lets it collect dust for months. Sick. Just sick. Expect a rant on how junk Wii software may (or may not, depending on how Nintendo handles the next couple of years and their casual fanbase) set off the next video game "crash"...

The second "Ninten-douche" award goes to the Wii firmware update team, who decided to not only plug the Twilight Hack exploit allowing homebrew applications to be played (makes sense, for piracy reasons), but they also unnecessarily cut off support for Datel's Freeloader, thus re-implementing the impassable region locking present in the console at launch. Though it screws people like me who own a Freeloader to play Japanese games, I believe the real motive on plugging this exploit was to block European and Australian users from importing US games at reduced prices... Super Smash Bros. Brawl STILL hasn't launched in Europe, and many a UK and AU gamer picked up a Freeloader for that very reason. Nintendo's localization departments are slow. This is strictly regional sales protection (especially given the strong Euro), nothing more.

As such, expect no more updates from me until Datel finds another way for me to get my JP game fix. And since Nintendo requires the latest firmware to go on the Wii Shop Channel, they get no more WiiWare or Virtual Console money from me. And I hope others follow my lead in avoiding the dreaded 3.3 update.

If you have any desire whatsoever to play foreign games, even a passing interest, DO NOT UPDATE YOUR WII. YOU WILL RUIN YOUR CHANCE.

And for those with a Freeloader already, the disc does contain a mode to bypass "required updates" which Nintendo will no doubt be printing on all its future first party games. So now I will have to use the Freeloader to load any first-party game I get - to make sure the update doesn't bork my Wii and render my 4 Japanese games unplayable. Nintendo, you fail this week. Big time. T_T

MGS4: Now that it's all over...time for the NEGAREVIEW!

**Before getting into the analysis, a warning. There may be some very slight spoilers herein, but since my analysis is mostly based on the quality of the various game elements (what worked, what didn't work) instead of discussing the storyline, I will try to keep these to a minimum. Any spoilers will be gameplay - not story - related.**

What a ride.

Finally, now that the most important game on Sony's new console has been out in the world for 5 days officially (upwards of a week unofficially due to retailers ignoring the street date), I'd say with a fair amount of confidence that a lot of people had sufficient time to play through Kojima's magnum opus.

Basically, the game did everything it had to do - and is an instant classic. All the loose ends of the storyline were tied up, the boss fights were more than memorable, and the new gameplay innovations introduced made the game feel entirely new while at the same time, never stopped feeling like a Metal Gear Solid title. That being said, switching to a playing style that matches the environment - that is, dealing with the war going on around your character (rather than simple infiltration missions) was difficult at first, and changes to the controls took some getting used to as well. The minigames and variety in the missions complitmented the frantic pacing, and Kojima's trademark sense of humor is still more than intact. I loved the game.

However, MGS4 does NOT deserve the lavish praise being thrown on it. It isn't perfect - it is good - possibly the best game of the year (certainly better than GTA)... but perfection?

No. Not by a long shot.

In fact, due to the tremendous amount of hype and inflated review scores surrounding the game, I thought I'd take a cue from Joystiq and write a NEGAREVIEW... that is, pointing out the flaws in a game that, while amazing, doesn't quite live up to its abundance of perfect scores.

I would have done one for GTA, but most of the people I know who read this blog wouldn't take me seriously, since they believe I skew any game not-Japanese on the side of a negative review. However, that aside, GTA was simply not my cup of tea...so it would be more fun for me to write a NEGAREVIEW on a game I actually really enjoyed start to finish. And with that...

CAUTION PHASE:

There is a reason why reviewers were not allowed to discuss the cutscene lengths when reviewing the game early. In what is probably a shock to no one, the game has more cutscenes than actual gameplay - by far. In general, if you know what you're doing, you can finish the game in 6-8 hours. That is - if you skip the cutscenes. I watched through all the cutscenes and finished in 15 hours. The ending scenes alone (with their Matrix 2 Architect-like explanations of the storyline) end up being 45 minutes long _BY THEMSELVES_. Fortunately, we are given the option of skipping most of these, but from the time you fight the final boss it's still 17 minutes between you and the game completion screen. In general, the pacing is similar to Xenosaga for PS2... some cutscenes are longer than others. But - if you're even halfway into the storyline - and if you're playing this game, you should be - the cutscenes won't bother you. On the contrary...you'll want to keep playing to see what happens next. That said - the length of the cutscenes is still drawn out far longer than it should be in some cases, and in other cases there wasn't enough background for those new to the series. The option to view important character scenes (especially concerning MGS2) would have been VERY nice. The game is certainly not n00b friendly. Also, Naomi is a bitch! Poor Otacon.

Ooops! I said no story spoilers.... Gomen ne. I was really mad about that... It won't happen again, I promise.

Onto the next complaint..the controls. The controls allow you much more freedom this time around, but those used to older MGS games will require time to adapt. In particular, the "hiding behind the wall and popping out to shoot" mechanic is vastly different than older MGS games, and I've been discovered by enemies more than once while fiddling with the buttons. I'd consider myself a "hardcore gamer", so the fact that I had difficulty with the controls means other people probably did too.

ALERT PHASE:

Although the game tends to keep locked at a pretty solid 30+ FPS, I did notice that during cutscenes where the camera is allowed to pan to the sky or not a lot of characters are present onscreen, the engine was running noticeably smoother - 60FPS. While this allowed for flying characters to look amazing, it actually distracted me from the game. This is a nitpick - especially considering the amount of stuff going on in the game's levels - but I think they should have stuck with 30FPS all the way through instead of teasing us with 60FPS for non-populated scenes. All the 60FPS sequences do is call attention to the weaknesses of the "almighty" PS3.

Adding to the list of issues which appear to show chinks in the PS3's armor is the install times - which - again - reviewers were forbidden to talk about. The game requires a 9-minute, 4.5 GB install up-front...which is quickly becoming the norm for "big" games on the system...but added to this install is a series of installs which occur following each chapter of the game's conclusion. Each chapter specific install is 3 minutes long and the data overwrites the previous chapter's install...so you don't have to worry about an entire BD worth of data being installed to your system. These installs are mandatory to cut down on load times, which are happily very short although the "now loading" screen does appear more often than I'd like it to. My question is...why can the Xbox 360 handle all games without the need for an install, whereas most PS3 games require one? With a game like this, I can see streaming being a major issue, and I'm thankful for the shortened load times... that said, there has to be a better way to organize data so that gamers don't have to give up 20 minutes and a bunch of data on their hard drives just to play a new game.

Will this game ever come to the 360? Doubtful, although I wouldn't put it past them. They'd make a lot of money by porting it over, although after seeing the amount of action onscreen it wouldn't surprise me if the 360 port had some quality issues when compared against the original game...

EVASION PHASE:

Finally worth mentioning is the "poor" sales in Japan. For a third-party exclusive game that was supposed to catapult the PS3 from a psuedo-niche market into the next PS2, the game performed...poorly. Not that they didn't sell any copies at all (especially when comparing against the performance of Ninja Gaiden II on the 360 - a measly 25,000 copies in the first week)...but this is a far cry from the 500-person-lines that existed around Akihabara for launches of important Square Enix games. I wouldn't be surprised - at ALL - if the game sells more copies domestically when compared to Japan.

All that said, this is still one of the best games this year, and something that simply must be experienced. As a next-gen gamer, you owe it to yourself. Just don't buy into the hype.

BattleFantasia - Impressions

Take the speed and mechanics of Street Fighter 3, mix in a good helping of Miyazaki art style and RPG themes, and sprinkle some Guilty Gear over the top. If your brain isn't hurting from the madness by now, you would have created something very similar to BattleFantasia - the new fighting game from Arc System Works that was released earlier today in Japan.

Using my Japanese PSN account, I was able to download a demo of BattleFantasia to get some hands-on time before the game launched. Thankfully, the full version arrived today so I'm able to give you guys an idea of just how this game stacks up - online mode and all.

For those unfamiliar with BattleFantasia, it is a fairly unique take on 2D fighting. The graphics are actually in full 3D - both characters and backgrounds...but the fighting is strictly 2D (similar to how SF4 will be handled). The characters are well built and animate fluidly. The only issue I have is with the backgrounds, which are very plain when compared against the highly detailed character models.

The gameplay is actually based around the concept of "tachimawari" or "moving around", as opposed to the fast, combo-laden style of Guilty Gear. In the US, this translates to a game based mostly around the concept of "poking". In other words: dash in, do damage, and get the &*#@ out. Massive combos can be unleashed in the game as well, but are generally limited to a special character "hyper" mode that can be unleashed known as "Heat Up". The effects for this mode differ for each character, but in general this allows for larger combos and larger damage for many moves. Each character has a HP amount representing his/her lifebar, and HP amounts vary between characters (a large armored knight, for example, has more HP than the scantily clothed princess). In general, the characters with more HP tend to be larger and easier to hit than the smaller, faster characters with less HP. Surprisingly, this variance in life amounts does not appear to damage the balance of the game, although there does seem to be a slight descrepancy in the amount of characters in the "middle tier" as opposed to the top or bottom tiers which are fairly well defined.

The "Gachi" button handles parries and recoveries, and is the main gameplay mechanic for reversals and getting out of pressure situations. Street Fighter 3's parries are very similar to Gachi, although Gachi has a few traits specific to itself, not the least of which is the "Gachi Drive" which enables a player caught in a defensive guard to immediately reverse into an offensive position. This is a difficult technique to master due to the timing it requires and it appears I may have to spend a good deal of time playing the game before I'm able to master it.

There are only 12 selectable characters, but each one plays very differently. The personalities are varied and memorable, ranging from the typical "hero", to the "knight wannabe kid", to the "brooding angstmonger" to the "catgirl" (yes there is one), to the "furry" (yep, there's one of those too), to the "princess". I haven't had a chance to play through the story mode and find out the deal behind the majority of these characters yet, but I'm very much looking forward to it.

The game has the "old standbys" as far as modes are concerned: Arcade mode, Story mode (where you fight a range of battles following the story of each character - separated by cutscenes which are fully voiced), Survival mode, Practice mode, Gallery, and Network (among others).

What I want to focus on is the Network play, since that's what I'm sure most of you are concerned about... will an imported Japanese game even be playable online? Will they blockUS IPs? Is the lag even bearable?

From what I've managed to play, the answer to the first question is yes, the answer to the second question is no, and the answer to the third question is a "cautiously optimistic" yes.

Another PSN user going by the handle PiGnUTtZ and I fought about 20 matches tonight, and despite a couple of disconnects, the gameplay was VERY fluid. I'm not sure where the servers for the game are located or whether it's more of an issue of how far away each player is from one another, but PiGnUTtZ spoke perfect English and judging from his messages seemed to be either a US or UK player. I won't know how bad the lag is with Japanese players until I get a chance to test the Network mode more thoroughly over the next few days. The thing that shocked me more is apparently only 19 people have the game so far judging from the rankings list. I anticipate this won't be a very big seller, despite its quality...

Overall, color me impressed. Those expecting a new Guilty Gear may walk away a bit dissapointed with the modified gameplay mechanics, but those people weaned on games like Street Fighter 3 or Street Fighter Alpha will find a lot to like about this game. Plus, as the first in a line of "real" next-gen fighters (not including XBL/PSN fare) to hit the consoles this year, it gives the others a lot to live up to...even if nobody ends up playing it.

Battle Fantasia GET!

Not bad, PlayAsia.

BattleFantasia for PS3 is currently waiting on my doorstep. Impressions and a possible review will be up tonight (depending on whether or not the online mode is working, since the game technically isn't available in Japanese retailers until tomorrow).

Xbox 360 region locking... なぜ？！

During my trip to Japan, I couldn't help but notice the sad, pathetic state of affairs concerning the Microsoft XBOX 360. There are loads of Western games, as expected, available on the console. But surprisingly, there are also a fair amount of Japanese exclusives. A few PS2 RPG ports, shooters such as Raiden Collection, action games like Guilty Gear 2 Overture and Oneechanbara X, and upcoming titles such as Battle Fantasia and Otomedius G.

The sad thing? Not a single one of these titles will play on an NTSC/UC 360. This is due to an optional (I repeat, OPTIONAL) region lock Microsoft put in place - and left it up to developers whether or not they wished to utilize it to keep their games playable only on their home turf. This region lock is two hex digits burned to a specific data area on each DVD9, telling the XBOX 360 which region the disc belongs to, and whether or not it should be allowed to play.

Now, I can understand Western developers wanting to region-lock their titles due to a possible impact in sales in home territory if a game is released overseas first. But given the XBOX 360's limited installed base in Japan (500,000 as of April 2008), it doesn't make sense for Japanese developers to lock American and European gamers out. Even more interesting is that this trend is REVERSED. Looking at sites like Play Asia, it's plain as day just how many games coming from the US do not contain region locking (spoiler: almost all games are region free) - yet all games coming out of Japan have region locks in place. W T F. Logically, it would make more sense for the Japanese games to be region free, since it would be sales for the developer and publisher from markets where the games may not be released for financial reasons. By locking out US and EU gamers, these publishers and developers are limiting their possible sales to the 500,000 units in Japan, rather than the 20 million worldwide. It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me - most of the time.

Don't get me wrong - in certain cases, region locking makes sense for the publisher. For example: Blue Dragon and Lost Odyssey both experienced slight delays in the US due to marketing issues. The Asian version of these games shipped a few months prior to the US release with an English translation on the discs. Due to the expense Microsoft incurred to develop these titles as exclusives, it would make sense that they wouldn't want to have sales numbers skewed in the US by overzealous importers. In cases like this, region locking makes sense. I'm not saying I LIKE it - in fact, I would have much rather had my Blue Dragon and Lost Odyssey a few months early - but since sales of imports don't count domestically, it can be a serious issue for business negotiations between console manufacturers and developers. This is especially the case for "niche" titles (like the fighting and RPG genres), where big sales numbers in a region with a large install base could in theory be used to secure more exclusives from developers in a region where the install base isn't quite as high (Japan, in this case). Add to this the fact that RPG fans are fairly import-savvy to begin with, and Microsoft could have had a serious problem on their hands without region locking. There are also issues with games containing licensed content, such as Rock Band (one of the few American 360 titles known to have a region lock) - just because a song is licensed in one region doesn't mean a different set of rights applies overseas.

I'm still holding out a small fragment of hope that a third party will crack the code and come up with some sort of XBOX 360 freeloader, allowing imports to be played on US consoles freely... however, that would introduce a whole NEW set of issues. When you sign up for XBOX Live, you have to agree to an EULA which basically says M$ can delete your account or ban you from the service for whatever reason it sees fit (this very same clause was invoked when a HALO 3 'closed beta' was found on a console not signed up for participating - those poor guys got their XBOXes permanently banned from Live). So would M$ decide to ban all US/EU accounts shown to have played Japanese games/unlocked Japanese achievements? Sadly, I wouldn't put it past them. This is probably the very same reason that a freeloader has yet to be developed. Getting hit with a class action lawsuit for mass bannings from Live is probably not something Datel would want to deal with...

This whole issue is a real shame. I'd love to take my Battle Fantasia with achievement points, and I'd love to be playing Otomedius G later this year on my US console (as I thoroughly enjoyed the arcade version while in Japan), but Japanese publishers seem intent on not letting this happen. As such, I'll be ordering a PS3 version of Battle Fantasia and hope for a port of Otomedius G sometime in the future.

Some screenshots...