Crystal Bearers: Two Hours In...

So I am currently two hours into Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: The Crystal Bearers, and although I'm not completely blown away, I am pleasantly surprised. I think a lot of the negative press the game has gotten has been due to unrealistic (and incorrect) expectations about how the game would actually play.

We knew from early announcements that FFCC: TCB was going to be a single player story-driven game, but S-E never stated that it would be a traditional RPG. In fact, we were kept in the dark completely up until the game was due to be released. Upon release in Japan, it got decent (but not great) reviews, with complaints lodged mostly at the controls.

Reviewers here in the States have blasted it as a minigame collection in disguise, which I believe is an unfair assessment. Basically, here's what you have in this psuedo-action-RPG-casual-hybrid game:

* Graphics with a wonderful Square-Enix art style and technology/effects that hold up against some of their later PS2 releases. Sadly, this is a HUGE compliment when you compare the graphics of this game against Chocobo's Dungeon and Dragon Quest Swords. Against Nintendo's finest, the graphics are still competent. Let's see more of this on Wii.

* Varied gameplay. Within the first 2 hours I've had no less than 5 minigames with different sets of controls. Admittedly some are more fun than others. This game was most certainly aimed at Final Fantasy n00bz that may or may not be familiar with the series. They try to use the Wiimote in many different ways, and not all of them work well.

* Battles themselves are...interesting. Those who have played Dawn of Mana will feel at home here, since all battles revolve around grabbing stuff and hurling it at enemies. Because you have to control the camera manually and you can't lock onto enemies while you're holding an object, this creates some serious problems with more difficult battles.

* The physics engine, however, leaves a bit to be desired. Dawn of Mana used HAVOK, which gave objects a sense of weight and mass. All objects in FFCC:TCB react the same when tossed around, which is disappointing. There was a lot of potential here for physics hijinks that is totally unrealized.

* The story is action-packed and there's an open world and tons of sidequests to undertake. I'm just afraid of running up against a minigame or battle that just proves too unfairly frustrating with the controls...

So, overall, not bad. I wouldn't have paid $50 for it, but it's definitely a decent rental. A step in the right direction for S-E development on Wii. Not great - but not terrible either.



If I compare this game against Nintendo's first-party lineup, it holds up graphically but falters with the use of the Wiimote - which is passable but definitely not intuitive and can also be unresponsive at times.

Lucky [FF] 13...

FFXIII's first day sales numbers are in, and they are unsurprisingly limit-breaking.

Over 1 million people bought the game. In other words, 1 out of every 120 people IN THE ENTIRE NATION OF JAPAN went out and bought the game. For 8300 Yen ($90+). On the FIRST DAY of release. With an installed base of slightly over 4 million, that means one out of every four PS3 owners came out for the festivities and returned home with a copy of FFXIII.

What is more surprising, however, is the lack of PS3 shortages and the lack of Lightning Bundle shortages. Apparently over 100,000 Lightning Bundles were sold - but compared to the massive amount of games sold separately, that's a drop in the bucket. I actually expected the game to move more PS3s on the first day of release, and significantly so. The PlayStation 1 didn't have a strong presence in Japan prior to FFVII launching, and immediately afterwards became THE console to own.

This gaming market is a bit more complicated these days than it was back then, particularly in Japan. In Japan, although the PS3 installed base is 75% larger than the 360's installed base, it's still comparatively tiny compared to the installed base of EITHER console in the States and in Europe. Going to Akihabara and trying to find new HD games to buy for either console is a sad, sad affair - most of the shelves filled with either localized Western ports or crappy text-based adventure games. It seems that most Japanese developers are terrified of making games for either HD console, and I had (and still have) high hopes for Final Fantasy XIII to turn that around, even if it did prop up the PS3 as the worldwide first-choice console for Japanese software.

Like most problems these days, I blame the economy.

I already ranted about this last time, but the fact that the majority of well-known series dropping to portables for sequels is an alarming trend. Everything from fighting games to RPGs - both genres that are arguably the LEAST comfortable to play on portable systems - are making the jump. Japanese companies, most of them anyway, remain convinced that the portable market (PSP and DSi ) is the only way to guarantee profit from a release, and as such the big-budget franchises are taking huge risks by changing platform. Don't believe for a second that there wasn't a bunch of Japanese nerd rage when Dragon Quest IX was announced as a DS exclusive. That didn't stop half the country of Japan from buying it, with some people buying multiple copies to have more than one save slot (sadly, the creator of the game actually suggested this in an interview as a solution for the lack of multiple slots).

The lack of Lightning Bundle shortages in Japan ties into marketing. The import shops around the world sent out emails last week stating that the stock was less than expected, and hiked the price of the bundles to a cool $800. For something retailing for less than $400 in Japan proper. The funniest part: nobody EVER said this was a LIMITED edition. And actually it would be a bad move to make it a limited edition, because that would make less people able to buy the game/PS3 bundle, the availability of which is a win-win for Sony and Square Enix. The import shops are certainly taking advantage of the "oversight" and are riding the hype wave. The speed of XIII's localization speaks volumes not only on the new significance of the Western market in terms of console penetration compared to portables, but also of the importance of this title for Square Enix, a company notorious for treating its overseas customers like second-class citizens.

Put simply: we like our portables in the West, but they are NOT a valid replacement for console gaming. And we like our HD games. Final Fantasy XIII is going to do well not only as a FF game, but as a top-tier HD JP console game. There aren't many on the market right now, particularly for the PS3. "MAKE IT RAINNNNNNNNN!"

Another surprising news article that came out over the last few days... "core" game sales are up, and "casual" game sales are down. Some people argue that the "industry darling of the moment" soccer moms and grandmas are moving on past the Wii fad. I say it's more of a difference in how they play games. For us core gamers, gaming is a part of our daily lives. For most people, the Wii won't be used except for special occasions, like board games for example. The 'Fit' line of stuff is a trap, but it's a trap that sells really, really well and gives the casuals an excuse to use their wii more often (before they get lazy and let the Wii Balance Board gather dust in the closet).

All I have to say to game companies: "Remember who's going to keep you in business when the casuals lose interest. Better start learning how to please both audiences at once."

I wanted to come up with a funny personification with the video game industry playing the part of a ditzy high school girl trying to choose between the shallow jock (casual) and her plainer, but more loyal, best friend (core). I just don't have the creativity at the moment to make that happen...

Cheater, Cheater, Sushi Eater!!!

So, for those that were wondering what happened to us this weekend, we made a brief trip to Chicago. The reasoning was twofold:

1.) Celebrate Christmas early with my immediate family and grandparents (freeing Christmas Eve up for the significant other's family), and...

2.) Take the JLPT.

What's the JLPT? JLPT stands for Japanese Language Proficiency Test, the passing of which may assist with overseas assignments down the line. I signed up for Level 3 - basic conversational level, but after finding some sample tests online I found that studying my textbooks from college - even 300 level ones - left me grossly underprepared. So I hit the books hard this week, after returning from Japan I spent a good deal of time both during the day and at night devoted to reviewing grammar points and learning Kanji.

I studied so much that aside from a brief dinner with my best buddy and a brief visit with my grandparents, the vast majority of my time was spent exiled in a room away from my parents and girlfriend, building up my J-vocabulary. I really, really wanted to pass this thing, and found myself more and more nervous as the test approached.

So finally Sunday - the day of the test - comes. My parents drive me down into ghetto Lincoln Park (not to be confused with the angsty punk rock band with the different spelling) to take the test. There was a big sign for the JLPT on the outside of the building, so the location was fairly obvious. Once inside, I spent a little bit of time chatting with another Level 3 examinee and his girlfriend, who both drove up from southern Indiana to take the test. Like myself, they lamented the fact that Chicago is the only midwest test site - it was either drive to Chicago or fly out to San Fran, Seattle, New York, DC, or Atlanta. Since I have family in Chicago it really wasn't a big deal...but still. In any case, he was just as nervous as I was. We went up to our separate rooms for the exam and took our seats. Each room had two proctors: One that knew no Japanese, and a fluent speaker to answer questions (like they'd tell you anything anyways).

So the test starts - Vocab and Kanji was the first part. I started into the test and marked a few answers before noticing unusual movement. I looked up, and the guy in the row in front of me and to my right had placed (what appeared to be) a CHEAT SHEET LOADED WITH KANJI on the floor in front of him. I wasn't close enough to see exactly what was on it, but it appeared to me that he had written a bunch of information on the back of his test voucher/admission ticket. The proctor, completely oblivious continued to sit and look over something completely unrelated to the test. I couldn't have been the only one to see this.

Now normally, if I was in a college class - or a test with a bell curve where it would have actually mattered to have someone gaining an unfair advantage against me - I would have totally reported this guy right away, but I figured it was pointless. First of all, reporting him would cost ME a couple of minutes of test time on this first section - and secondly, getting him kicked out does nothing for my score. Everyone is graded individually and the score to pass is an even 60%. So really, I had nothing to gain by reporting Mr. Kanji Voucher Ninja.

After the first section of the test ends, he appears to scribble more stuff down on his cheat sheet, this time on the front - yep, it was his entrance voucher. Still too far away to see exactly what he was doing, but it was definitely not kosher. In any case, the next part of the test was the Listening portion, and I was hoping it would go better than the previous section - during which I was both distracted and also confused about a few of the questions.

Luckily, last week's vacation in Tokyo listening to tons of real-life speakers going super-speed turbocharged my Nihongo listening skills. I was a Super Saiyan 4 comprehension wizard, and probably only missed a question or two on that entire section. Mr. Ninja was still writing away on his voucher, probably preparing some hints for the next section of the test. I still couldn't believe neither the English nor Japanese proctor could see this guy. He was in the FRONT ROW. And his cheat sheet was placed diagonally in front of him where he could look at it. I mean, COME ON.

The Grammar section was the hardest part of the sample tests, and the real thing was no different. Yet again, down goes the voucher, in plain view of both proctors. Yet again, nobody notices. I plow through, hopefully getting enough answers I need in order to be certified. They collect the test booklets and the test sheets, and tell us it's OK to leave... when one of the proctors goes to the door and proceeds to request all our entry vouchers. HAHAHAHA...busted. So I gather my stuff and head to the door - and who should be in front of me but Voucher Ninja himself, completely oblivious as he hands over his cheat sheet - which I could now plainly see was loaded with test material. Unbelievable. The proctor, shocked, told him he'd have to stay behind, and let the rest of us go. Since my parents were waiting outside the building to pick me up from the test site, I couldn't stay to watch the carnage. But I'm fairly sure he got his entire test voided and wasted an entire afternoon. 残念ですね。

I'm not sure I passed - there seemed to be a lot of tricks, but I know I got a lot of questions right as well. In any case, I'm glad Mr. Kanji Voucher Ninja got what was coming to him...

Aria 4: Wishing

We had decided the previous day that today we would end up going to Tokyo DisneySea, but I had an errand to take care of first...obtaining Mushihimesama Futari for the XBOX 360. This game is the first CAVE developed shooter that was deliberately deprived of its region lock in order to gauge popularity of its titles in the US and Europe - apparently a lot of people in the West made noise on the internet after DeathSmiles was released with NTSC-J region lock intact. This change of policy is a big deal, so I wanted to make sure I grabbed a copy of Mushihimesama while I was here. Plus, I really wanted to be able to play through the game without having to worry about being bled dry of my yen by the difficult bullet patterns in the later stages.

We started walking towards Shinjuku station at around 8:30AM JST. The stores around there don't open until 9:30 or later - and to my dismay we arrived at the shopping area around the station at around 9:00. No problem - we grabbed some delicious curry udon and cold soba from a restaurant down the street and by the time we were finished, Yodobashi Camera was open for business. I got in, got the game, and then got out. Then we headed to Shinjuku station for the journey to Tokyo Disney Resort.

The journey to the resort required changing trains at Tokyo station, which went smoothly. The entire trip out there cost us 320 yen each, which wasn't too bad. It was about 20 minutes from downtown Tokyo out to the resort in Maihama. Getting off the train was like stepping into a bizarro version of Orlando, Florida. We exited the station (which was all decked out in Disney decor) and headed to the monorail, only to find - much to our dismay - the same yen-eating ticket machines that guard the entrance to every other train in the country of Japan. "Wait," I said to Lisa, who was about to swipe her card in the machine, "this can't be right. They can't CHARGE to use the monorail..." After some looking at the signs, all of which were conveniently not in English, it became clear to me. Oh yeah, they were charging to use the monorail. 250 yen a pop, in fact, unless you wanted to buy a "commuter pass" and ride as much as you want for 650 yen. Keep in mind that, as I said above, it cost us 320 yen each to ride the trains 25 km+ to Disney, but to ride a monorail that's 3-4 km long at most, it costs 250 yen?!

I thought, "Fuck this, we're walking". So we walked. For about 10 minutes. And found Tokyo Disneyland without incident. But...DisneySea, the park we actually wanted to go to, appeared to be out of reach for us without having to fork over the yen to ride the monorail. What a scam.

So we went back, paid our yen, got on the monorail and rode to DisneySea. First of all, something about the Tokyo Disney Resort. They have it set up so that if you want to visit both Disneyland and DisneySea, you can't do it on the same day with a 2-day pass! You have to choose one day for one park, and one day for the other park. In order to get around this, you have to buy 3+ day passes (or pay for single-day passports to each park, at 5800 yen a pop). My theory is this is to prevent overcrowding in both parks due to day travelers coming from Tokyo, but it also probably generates massive amounts of revenue from the people that absolutely must see both parks in one day, and honestly - there really isn't enough to do at either park to warrant a full day on its own. Fortunately, that particular "gotcha" didn't apply to us, as we were ONLY there for DisneySea.

So we entered the park, and immediately something struck me as bizarre. We were definitely in a Disney park, but - this being Japan - all the signs were in Japanese, and unlike Epcot - where the different "worlds" had cast members from each country represented in the park - there wasn't anything like that here. Everyone was Japanese. Which was fine - it was relatively amusing to see our two "Italian" hosts try to teach us hello and goodbye in Italian when the pronunciation is warped by Japan... "Aribedeiruchii".

But then we hit the "American Waterfront" world in the park, and it suddenly went from weird to weirder. They were putting on this cheesy show in the center of the park, and suddenly Mickey Mouse comes out and starts speaking perfect Japanese ... but HE SOUNDS LIKE MICKEY MOUSE. It was really strange. Then he started dancing to Madonna, which was still all in English. I swear, guys, I can't make this stuff up. I guess this is how the Japanese feel when playing through the International versions of Kingdom Hearts.

Speaking of Kingdom Hearts, just a few minutes walk away from that cheesy musical review, we found it. Tetsuya Nomura's inspiration for the favorite snack of the residents of Twilight Town... Sea Salt Ice Cream!!! Now before you say "Ewwww", keep in mind that this delicious treat merely consisted of vanilla ice cream with a little bit of additional sea salt added. So it tasted sweet, but salty at the same time. And it was really good. It's kind of a shame though, it didn't look like I thought it would have... In Kingdom Hearts, the ice cream was shown as bright blue popsicles. IRL, it's just a dish of vanilla colored ice cream. Disney needs to correct this and serve Sea Salt Ice Cream the way it was meant to be served: as a bright blue popsicle that will send the Roxas and Axel cosplayers coming in droves...

Anyways, after that we rode Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull - which was one of the best rides I've been on in a long time and definitely the best movie-based one I've ever seen, bar none. It was worth the agonizing hour long wait as we saw people who purchased "Fast Pass" tickets outside the ride (yet another Tokyo Disney money grab) skipping merrily past us towards the front of the line. But it was worth it. They stick you in a huge ATV that can hold about 16 people, and send you racing through the temple - with special effects and crazy sights happening at every turn. The track itself had some hills but was mostly flat. The ATV generated all the twists and bumps on its own, culminating with a slight drop occurring just as a boulder rolling forward was about to hit us. Honestly I wish I would have ridden twice - it was that good.

After a couple more hours of exploration - and trying out a few more of Tokyo Disney's culinary treats, we headed back to the gateway to the resort, and attempted to get dinner at one of the restaurants outside. But all the restaurants had the added "Disney Tax", charging upwards of 2000 yen for a single entree, except for one little katsu place called Trail and Track near the corner of Ikspiari. I had reservations about this place, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try it out. We were seated, most of the restaurant staff could speak decent English, and I felt completely at ease in a restaurant for the first time in a while. But my danger sense started tingling when they asked me whether I wanted "rice or bread" with my chicken katsu. BREAD?! With KATSU?! Uh oh....

Sure enough. I get the plate of katsu, which was drenched in something that certainly wasn't katsu sauce. The sauce tasted like Chef Boyardee Spaghetti-o's sauce. Yuck. Then there was the side of potato salad (WHY?!) and the nappa cabbage, which would have been great if they didn't coat it in an American style mayo-based dressing. Barf... Worst. Meal. Ever. Lisa didn't seem to mind it as much, and this restaurant did in fact serve pretty decent freshly made diner-style cream sodas, so it wasn't a total loss.

After eating dinner, the entire Ikspiari mall was lit up, and the Wishing Tree illuminated as a teenage girl rang the Wishing Bell. For a brief second - just a second mind you - I felt what may have been a sparkle of the magic of Christmas, even as commercialized as it has become. We then returned to Shinjuku, played some Death Smiles II (with villain Satan Claus) at the local game center, had some desserts at what could best be called a Japanese Denny's, and went to bed early. I thought I was catching a cold, because I had a very difficult time getting to sleep and my throat was sore.

Aria 3: Matsuri

The early crashing was a bad idea. Between the nervousness about my presentation and the slight (but not overbearing) presence of jet lag, I was wide awake once again at 4AM. Although Tokyo is the TRUE "city that never sleeps" the fact of the matter is there really isn't that much to do that early. So we ended up watching "Good Choice" (a.k.a. News with Penguins) yet again, and then ventured out around 7AM to pick up some bento boxes for breakfast. I wanted to try Royal Host, but we decided it was probably best to avoid hotel prices for subpar Western-style breakfast. After picking up the bentos at a 24 hour place and returning the hotel, both of us ended up asleep. Fortunately I set the alarm clock ahead of time, so I wasn't late for my meeting.

I woke up in time, showered, got dressed and was out the door by 10AM for a 12PM meeting. I was very worried the subway system would be confusing and I'd end up getting lost - but, on the contrary, the subways are actually easier to use than a lot of the trains in Tokyo. I arrived in Hakozaki roughly 45 minutes early, and got a few brief moments of solitude that reminded me of my first trip to Japan. IBM Hakozaki is located right next to a small park with a fountain, trees, and some benches - a perfect place to relax or take a walk before the meeting, and I sat for a few minutes taking in the sights and sounds of a busy Tokyo morning. I had originally planned to go get a coffee to kill some time, but I didn't really need to. The air was pleasant, the park wasn't busy, and I had a few moments away from the chaos of central Shinjuku - time to gather my thoughts in preparation for my presentation.

I won't discuss the presentation much, except to say that I got all the answers I wanted and made some more connections with folks here in Japan - which is exactly what I wanted to do. I showed the team a picture of my basement, so now they all think I'm a game otaku. But I have a girlfriend, and friends, and a social life ... so that isn't possible (in the traditional sense of "otaku"). In any case, I did find out a few interesting things about how our IBM colleagues in Japan work...

1.) You think your cube lacks privacy? Try sitting at a long table, with a spot for your laptop and a few books - with coworkers on each side, no walls separating you. It kind of amazed me that in a culture where everyone is supposed to be heads-down in their work, the environment seemed very open - albeit a bit cramped. I suppose I was expecting cubicles out of Equilibrium or 1984, all looking the same, stretching for miles, with no personality whatsoever. Nintendo of America also had a similar setup with their cubicles, so this isn't the first time I've seen an environment like this.

2.) Their caf is light years ahead of Rochester. Most of the food items are Japanese (sorry Dave and Chad), but there was a large variety, everything appeared to be prepared fresh, and it was (comparatively) quite cheap. They also offered free cold or hot tea with each meal, and had two types of cafeteria: one caf of the traditional sense (like what we have), and one where you sit down and they bring you the food restaurant style. We're really missing out here!

3.) Everyone dresses up. No sandals and T-Shirts for IBM Japan. Suits are the norm, and at the very least you want a shirt and tie. Though I was told that khakis and a collared shirt would have been fine, showing up in that attire would have made me feel incredibly underdressed.

After returning to Shinjuku via the subway, we went to Hanazono Shrine to check out the festival going on. For those unfamiliar with a typical Japanese matsuri, think Minnesota State Fair - but take away the cows and wild rice and replace them with with yakitori and other Japanese foods. They did have fried stuff on a stick, fried chicken a.k.a. Kara-Age. But most of the other finger foods they served were not fried. There was yakitori (chicken skewers), candied bananas, several types of Japanese pastries, yakisoba noodles, squid skewers, and a lot more.

We then headed towards Nakano Broadway, in hopes of locating some fighting game posters for the basement. Our search ended up empty, but Lisa did find a couple pairs of knee-high Japanese socks that fit her. She was a little upset that she couldn't figure out the size and wanted me to ask, but that store was packed full of Japanese women that gave me strange looks or ran away every time I took a step into one of the aisles - not to mention my Japanese regarding women's clothes sizes is nonexistent.

So we went to Nakano Broadway, and all we got were two pairs of socks...

Aria 2: Changes

Waking up to our first real day in Japan, the first order of business was to get our bearings. The fact we were staying at a different hotel than last time, and the fact that half the signs on the restaurants in the area were Korean was more than enough to make me a bit nervous. So we walked around Korea Town for a bit, and noticed that it had to be garbage day, because every business had bags and bags of garbage piled up on the side of the road. Giant crows were pillaging the garbage, and there were quite a few homeless people (some of which seemed to have swine flu or something from the amount of coughing and wheezing that came from them). We grabbed breakfast at a Yoshinoya and went vending machine window shopping for drinks. I was really uncomfortable in this filthy area - it went against everything I knew of Tokyo thus far. It was run down, dirty, and sparsely populated (although that changes later in the day), and I really never felt comfortable there. Something about the whole place just felt...uneasy.

We found some Pepsi NEX again - delicious - and then went back to the hotel. Eventually, we ended up in Akihabara with Travis, where (with Lisa's permission) I took him to... THE MAID CAFE! This was the same one I went to last year, so I knew exactly what to expect. They gave us an English speaking maid, and we each ordered one item on the menu. I helped with communication when the Japanese-only maids would come over and talk to us. The food we ordered wasn't bad (two parfaits and an iced coffee), but obviously overpriced and the 700 yen "sitting fee" really didn't help much either.

Those of you familiar with Otaku culture might find this interesting. I asked the maid in Japanese to explain to Travis the concept of "Moe" in Japanese. She refused, saying "meaning is difficult in English". We explained it after the fact, although I'm still admittedly a little confused on it myself. There doesn't seem to be sexual connotations to moe, but it's not entirely innocent either. Kittens are apparently not considered to be moe, but catgirls are. So yeah, I don't quite understand...

On the streets of Akihabara, which were shockingly busy for an average Monday, there was a group from Cave holding a playable demo of Mushihimesama Futari, which comes out on Thursday. They had promotional posters there while they were setting up, and I asked if I could have one - but they said no. It turns out they needed them to tape all around the demo table, apparently. They did end up giving out some swag (a plastic Mushihime fan) but by the time they started the demo there was already a line 15 people deep to play it, and all of them looked like they knew what they were doing, so I decided not to wait in line.

Instead, we went to Akihabara HEY, where I tried out - for the very first time - BlazBlue: Continuum Shift. Now, of course, since the game just came out last week, every machine was booked on at least one side, so I had to challenge someone. I picked the easiest looking opponent and sat down to play, selecting the character I have the most experience with, Jin Kisaragi.

Big mistake.

Continuum Shift has changed the way Jin plays - completely. The Ice Car no longer travels across the screen and is only useful now as a combo tool. jB doesn't combo as well either, although 6C -> 5C -> jB -> -> C -> uC -> 5D still works (though it does look different). I didn't get a chance to combo much, because none of my moves were behaving as I expected, and so I got Nihonjin smashed right off the machine by a below-average Carl player. The fact he was playing Carl only added insult to injury. Japan - 1, Gaijin - 0.

And if you didn't understand any of the above paragraph, don't worry, it doesn't apply to you anyways. :-)

I did a little more window shopping and eventually ended up at another arcade with Continuum Shift, where I managed to knock someone playing Haku-Men off the game. I was floored by my combo-filled performance with Jin, although I still tried to Ice Car across the screen due to force of habit and usually ended up eating a combo for my negligence. Regardless, I won. Japan - 1, Gaijin - 1. "Now," I thought, "I can finally get some practice with the new mechanics of the game by beating up on some stupid computer opponents." HAH! Not in Tokyo, my friends. Not in Tokyo.

For those unfamiliar with the habits of your average Tokyo arcade-goer, they behave like this. When you see someone not playing against a human opponent, they are more often than not just toying with the computer. Either they aren't picking the character they are most experienced with, or simply playing through the game without really trying. So you hop on, and you trounce them. Normally, in an American arcade, getting trounced so handily is usually enough to make the trouncee get up and leave the game, fearful of losing any more money or ego. But not Nihonjin. Oh no. These guys are hardcore. If you beat one, they will wait about 30 seconds and then - like clockwork - immediately challenge you again. (Remember, in Japan, you can't see your opponent since the machines are back-to-back). When this happens, you are screwed. In that 30 seconds of time before the 100 yen coin hit the machine, your opponent was doing his best Son Goku impersonation, powering up and unleashing his latent Nihonjin Powers of Destruction (tm). When that second game begins, you will be fighting a completely different beast...and you will not come out of that match with a victory. Guaranteed.

And that's what happened this time as well. After trouncing Haku-men and noticing the person at the machine behind me failing to get up, 30 seconds into the match against the CPU I get pulled into a versus match against...a CARL. Another Carl. Who handily gave me my ass on a silver platter to the tune of an almost double-perfect. That puppet was moving so fast across the screen I could do nothing, and that stupid clap trap had me beat before I even started my offense. Japan - 2, Gaijin - 1.

There were a few more things that happened - we found a way to walk to Shinjuku station without going to Shin Okubo, we found a festival serving street food at Hanazono Shrine in Shinjuku, we found a beautiful Christmas lights display that was actually pretty amazing, and I ended up wanting to crash early because of the presentation the next day, which wasn't a universally well-received decision. I think I've rambled on enough for now. More interesting stuff to come.

Aria 1: "EXACTLY like last time...."

This trip started out promising enough, until we get on the plane. I had camped the seat reservations for days in advance, trying to secure a seat with at least a little more leg room. Alas, everything was gone save for one "exit row" seat on the right side of the plane. Now, common sense should have told me that there must be a reason why that "exit row" seat was left unbooked, even though NWA was charging $50 more for it as part of its "coach choice" program. So I assume I'm getting some sort of an exit row seat. Only...not. They consider the first row behind the actual exit row as "exit row seats". Great. So I ended up with a $50 seat that's the same as any other seat, except I'm directly in front of the exit row, which means maybe, just maybe, there's a chance that on THIS 13 hour flight, I won't have someone reclining into my lap.

Of course, that would have been too easy, right?

Lo and behold, here comes Douchie McDouchebag 2.0, all 350+ pounds of him, wearing a Kansas City football cap, with his small Japanese wife half his age in tow. He lets out a hacking cough, glares at the seat in front of me, turns around and flies into the seat with the force of an anvil, causing my knees to pound against the "cloth" that makes up the seat. HE HAS THE FUCKING EXIT ROW AND YET HE HAS TO RECLINE ALL THE WAY BACK?! And this continued, for the next 13 hours. Oh, and if that wasn't enough, he was farting. He was blasting me and the other people behind him with an array of Silent But Deadly's following every single time the bastard was served a meal. Fortunately this time I skipped the food, so I didn't end up feeling as sick or bloated as I usually do after a cross-continental flight, but that was a small comfort after all the discomfort I went through.

Seriously. If you see the hat at the top of my entry in front of you on a future Japan flight, get out of that seat. I mean it. No matter what it takes, don't sit behind him.

And then we landed. I thought the troubles were over, but no. See, I wanted to stay at the same hotel as last time, because it was a really nice hotel. The internet wasn't cooperating, so I settled for a hotel "10 minutes walk" from one of the train stations. Yeah, right. 10 minutes, my ass. With luggage in tow, it took us more like 30, and now with both of us sore and tired as hell.
In fact, Lisa is snoring over there, I think I'll be joining her shortly...

三番目の東京旅行始めましょう！

Here we go again. Third time's the charm?

Let's see...

Plans on deck:

Tokyo DisneySea

Akihabara, of course

A presentation at IBM Japan

Soba deliciousness at the birthplace of this wonderful noodle

Namjatown/Ikebukuro

NINJA Akasaka (we HAVE to do this)

Maid Cafe shenanigans with another friend from IBM

Another 13 hour plane ride...................... *grumble*

In the words of a certain well-known Italian plumber: "HERE WE GO!"

Potent Portables

Earlier this year during my trip to Japan, and again during this year's holiday shopping season, I've come to a realization: console games are dead.

That's an overstatement, of course. But more accurately, the kinds of games I used to enjoy from Japanese developers on console have migrated to portables. Though portable systems most certainly have their place, this is a distressing move. Not only does it imply that the Japanese console market is weak, but it also squeezes modern sequels and new IP (such as Dragon Quest IX, Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, Valkyria Chronicles II, Dissidia) onto last gen (or worse) hardware. The way I see it, the current-gen consoles (the 360 and PS3) have three distinct advantages when compared against the portables.

1.) Graphics/processing power

Next-gen graphics capabilities are a no-brainer. But the bigger innovation (other than more "shiny") is that the extra processing power the consoles provide can be used in other, more creative ways to generate new kinds of gaming experiences - no goofy controller required. Many more characters on the screen, better AI, and more.

2.) Online integration

Especially in the case of the 360, there are so many things you can do by integrating online experiences into your titles. Everything from typical multiplayer games, to co-op modes, to interesting interactions with other players (like in Demon's Souls). The portables are doing some experiments with this as well - and in some ways are better equipped than the consoles for these kinds of interactions. But more often than not these opportunities get squandered. Most games that could use online integration never get it.

3.) Experience/comfort

This is the big one. This is why I'm so mad at the Japanese developers. I love Japanese RPGs. I love playing them for hours, leveling up characters and participating in an incredibly involved storyline full of twists and turns set to an orchesteral soundtrack. What I don't love is playing a Japanese RPG squinting at a 2'' screen, its orchestral soundtrack muffled by the tiny speakers of my DS Lite. If Japanese developers are going for immersion, the absolute worst thing they can do is develop a big-budget RPG on a portable platform. I'm really looking forward to Birth By Sleep - but it's so uncomfortable to play my PSP for any length of time that I probably won't end up finishing it. A shame.


Alas, all three of these advantages are no match for the cost of development. To a Japanese developer, spending $5 million to develop a PSP title for a fairly large userbase is MUCH more lucrative than spending $30 million for a 360/PS3 (or even multiplatform) title that stands to return a fraction of the sales of the portable titles. What this leads to is an incredibly vapid software selection for the consoles - particularly in Japanese games. It broke my heart to be walking through stores in Akihabara and looking through the PS3 library - more than 2/3 of the games being offered for sale were from American and European developers. Again, this isn't the 360 displays I'm talking about here - there were actually MORE Japanese-made games for sale on 360 (yeah, I don't get it either).

In every past generation, the Japanese game development industry has dictated the pace and platforms that made the industry more successful. Yoichi Wada of Square Enix was recently quoted in an interview as saying how a one-console market (i.e. one "winning" console) is ideal for Square Enix. Unsurprising to say the least, considering the publisher was probably less than happy at the prospect of having to develop a version of Final Fantasy XIII that will run on Xbox 360 for the North American and European markets. If it were up to Wada, the marketplace would have welcomed the PS3 with open arms as the PS2's de-facto replacement as "the" gaming console.

Differences in gaming habits, cultures, and the wildcard Wii effect have caused the exact opposite scenario. PS3 winning in Japan (landslide), 360 by a wide margin in the US (bigger than PS3's Japan lead), and a deadheat in Europe. This means that third party exclusives have pretty much become a thing of the past. This isn't necessarily a very welcome environment for Japanese companies, who are used to "doing what works". Portable systems are pretty much the only place they can continue to "do what works" - but in doing so, they isolate a huge portion of their userbase.

A perfect example: Valkyria Chronicles II. The first game was released to PS3 with amazing reviews but tepid sales both domestically and worldwide. Fans of the game were very vocal and demanded a sequel...which Sega eventually announced - with a platform shift. The series would be getting an aesthetic downgrade and will be appearing on the PSP. They justified it in interviews later, claiming a market need for a platform shift. Completely unsurprising.

Look, I'm aware this is the way things are going now. So here's what I'd like companies to do in the future. Make your portable more compatible with your home console. I want to be able to connect my PSP running Dissidia or Birth By Sleep to my PS3, which will upscale the image and run it on my big screen TV. I want to be able to control it with my DualShock 3. And I want to play it online. Technologically, I don't think this is impossible. I just wish they'd realize how big of a need there actually is for this kind of product...

My First (serious) Tournament

So last week a friend and I made the journey 90 miles north to the Minnesota Meltdown annual fighting game gathering and tournament. I ended up placing 9th out of 15 entrants in BlazBlue, which - while nothing to write home about - isn't that bad considering I took rounds (and sometimes games) from the 5th and 2nd place finishers. So although I have a lot of work to do, I made a lot of progress and learned quite a bit.

Lessons Learned:

1.) It ain't over till it's over.

More than once I resorted to my usually-useful "get them down to low life and turtle with projectiles" only to eat a Spark Bolt -> 720 for MASSIVE SOVIET DAMAGE. When playing in tournaments, playing it safe towards the end isn't always a good idea (especially when facing Tager, who I had no idea could combo his projectile into his Throw of Doom).

2.) Mind games are real.

It's amazing how much the "flow" of the match dictates what your opponent will do. There is a lot of "feeling" that you can get from the person next to you. You can tell when they're panicking, you can tell when they're nervous. It's a completely different experience than playing online. Dictating the pace of the match (and not letting your opponent do it) is the best way to gain ground.

3.) Don't Ride the Icening!

It's true what they say in the forums. Ice Car works better online than it does in person, and anyone worth their salt will know how to block it and punish you. Only use Ice Car to get across the screen or in combos. And if you lose your combo chain before initiating the Ice Car, expect a world of hurt if you go through with it.

4.) If something works on you, they'll do it again. (and again, and again...)

Two examples: versus a Haku and a Noel.

6A is frighteningly effective against j.B. So much so that he had me on lockdown for the majority of the match. Usually Haku is one of my better matchups, but I had a really hard time with the one I met there. He also managed to lull me into a false sense of security by jumping around and provoking my ice car, which always ended in badness (see above.) For some stupid reason, I couldn't stop myself from jumping in even though I was eating 6A every time. I guess subconsciously I must have thought that my placement was off and that's why I was taking the hit, but it turns out the priority of that move is godly. And he would gladly hit me with it every time I attempted a jump-in.

One of Noel's combos has a property that if you tech out the wrong way, you're going to get combo'd again. I fell for this not once, not twice, but 3 times. And another person watching even commented on it.

So yes, I gained a lot of worthwhile experience by going to this tournament. I think what I need to work on the most, rather than combo execution, is fundamental execution and pressure escape. Once I'm in a 9832749832 hit combo, I just start to mash and hope for the best. I need to study the best means of escape for the characters I have the most problems with - namely Ragna, Rachel, Nu, and Noel.

From Boom Blox to BlazBlue

Since I haven't done an entry in a while, I figured it'd be good to focus on a few things that have happened recently in the gaming industry, and particularly in my gaming habits...but rather than doing a lengthy introduction, I'll just hop right in.
Boom Blox and Why It Doesn't Sell

Boom Blox is, and will always be, a sad tale in the minds and hearts of the select few that were willing to give it a chance. The game's controls and innovative gameplay were PERFECT showcases for how to do a casual Wii game properly, the graphics were bright, colorful, and appealing, and the multitude of modes and level creation tools was second to none. It even had the support and input from Steven Spielberg (not that he's really a game designer in the first place). But my point is this. It had a lot of stuff going for it. So why, why, WHY were the sales numbers so blatantly abysmal while shovel crap like Imagine Babyz Partyz and Carnival Games shot up the casual charts? Well, the answer, I believe, is twofold:

The first problem is simple: price. The game launched at $49.99. Now, EA, I understand you spent a good amount of money developing this game. The fact it actually controlled well and looked halfway decent is proof enough of that. But casual consumers aren't looking for quality. They're looking for license/name recognition or, barring that, something cheap in the bargain bin. If you wanted to sell to the casual market, you should have priced the game accordingly - that is, $29.99 for a new copy.

The second problem is a bit more complex: lack of notoriety. The game's graphics look odd. The box doesn't tell you much about the type of game you're buying, and the game wasn't advertised to the masses properly. The combination of the graphical style (which some "casual" and a lot of hardcore users would call: "GHEY!11!!!") and lack of advertising basically doomed the game before it shipped.

I had the original game, and I sold it for pretty much the same price I bought it for ($30 used, from Gamefly).

A sequel was eventually crafted, but in a "slick" marketing ploy they decided to drop the Boom Blox moniker entirely and call it simply "Bash Party". I purchased this game for $30 on sale at Target yesterday, after my friends asked me one too many times over the last few months, "Where is Boom Blox? Why did you sell it?" Admittedly, the game's "screw your neighbor" video-Jenga was some of the most fun I've had with a third party title for the Wii - and apparently both my gamer and non-gamer friends agree that the game is appealing, not intimidating, and a whole lot of fun.

Sadly, they retained the look of the original - though they beefed up all the modes. I'm looking forward to trying it out with a group. However, its sales numbers paled even in comparison to the first game's. They did attempt to make some inroads with the casual crowd - lowering the launch price to $39.99 for starters - but it wasn't enough.

Brand recognition makes or breaks the Wii more often than any of us like to admit. If EA wants to make any money off of the Boom Blox franchise, I have an idea: if they are to do a third game, why not partner with Nintendo? The Boom Blox engine is great, but the blocky characters and generic backgrounds lack appeal. You want assured sales for your franchise? Here's an idea:

Mario's Bash Party

Those three words would solve any problems your franchise currently has. Nintendo's marketing plus recognizable characters plus your engine and decent minigames = SUREFIRE sales. If Mario and Sonic can sell millions, this certainly can, too. It would certainly be a better game Hardcore would buy it (for the franchises and gameplay), casuals would buy it (ooh, it has Mario), and Nintendo fanboys would buy it too (MARIO!). Imagine all the minigames that could be created using Nintendo star power plus the Boom Blox engine? Trust me, guys, it's a win-win situation for everyone.

You listening, EA? Get on it.


MAHVEL, BAYBEE!



OKAY. Now for a rant.

As an owner of the DC, PS2, and NAOMI (yes, arcade) versions of Marvel Vs Capcom 2, I was thrilled at the announcement of an HD reworking of the game with online play for release on the 360 and PS3. And after trying the offline-only PS3 demo I was even more excited. After waiting, and waiting, and waiting, they finally announced the release date - July 29...on 360 only.

What...the...fuck?

So those who wanted the PS3 version (for the better pad controls) were slightly screwed. Which was OK. I mean, I had plenty to play while I was waiting and it's not like I couldn't pop in the PS2 version if I was having a serious MvC2 craving. I wanted the PS3 version for the Dualshock support and also to be able to play on my SFIV TE stick, so I was willing to wait.

So finally, they release the game - or did they?

After hitting refresh on the PSN store for the 20th time at 4:30PM CST yesterday, I finally get to download...a 6kb unlock code....

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! We've had the whole game for the last three months?! Ok, fine, some Xbox360 games do that too. Release demos early which are basically the full game, and then issue an unlock code later. So this in and of itself wouldn't be a huge problem - except for the bugs....

Yep...this game is BROKEN. Seriously broken. We were sitting on the full version of a game that, for all intents and purposes, was nowhere near ready to be released. I'm not a hardcore Mahvel player so I don't know the character specific glitches but here's what I do know:

1.) Online is busted. As in, certain features not only fail to work, but CRASH THE GAME. Like BlazBlue PS3, it will cause the console to lock up and force you to do a hard reboot. Unlike BlazBlue, it doesn't happen when randomly connecting to matches (which is another gripe I will address in the near future)...instead, it occurs WHENEVER YOU ATTEMPT TO SEARCH FOR A MATCH. Yes. You heard right. The entire match selection screen is broken. Someone in QA was asleep at the wheel.

2.) The widescreen is glitchy. Really glitchy. Yes, I know it's a reworked feature, and the game is technically being played in just 4:3 mode, so I understand some issues will occur there. But some of the issues I've seen range from stuff being chopped at the 4:3 barrier entirely, to disgusting sprite and animation glitches at the edge of the screen reminiscent of the MvC2 xbox version (as played on 360) - yes, sometimes it really is that bad.

3.) Playlist functionality is broken in Ranked and whenever voice is turned on. Yep. Prepare to be "taken for a riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide" if your opponent has his headset on. Joy.

This is unforgivable, Capcom. You released the full game to us (in demo form, waiting to be unlocked) on April 30th. As a software developer I'm aware how much additional time affects quality. And your QA should have found these issues. I understand the graphical glitches to a degree since the code is basically a mishmash of DC/NAOMI code and new features, but having entire features of the game causing crashes is something that no top-tier game developer should be able to get away with. You should have held the game back until these issues were dealt with. I'm hoping you have plans to patch some of this stuff, because as of now it's a pretty sad port of the game. I'd go as far as to say the PS2 version is superior - which is not a good thing.

With the fighting game renaissance in full swing, having serious online issues in a game that is so blatantly multiplayer is a cardinal sin, and if I would have known about this I most likely would not have purchased the game. Of course, at this time, since most of us voted with our wallets, there's really no way to tell Capcom that they fucked up. We all bought the game anyways, and it's apparently ranked high on both PSN and XBL's download lists.

And with that, I'm out of here. I have a BlazBlue tourney to practice for. Hopefully it pays off. "ICE CAR! ICE CAR! I'M CRAZY!!!"

The Great Fight Hype

Well, apparently Gamestop is up to some serious shenanigans, because they managed to completely botch the release of King of Fighters XII.

They dropped the game on a Friday, four days early. And never bothered to tell anyone about it.

When walking into Gamestop on a whim earlier today, I managed to walk out with a copy of the game - which was scheduled for shipping next week. Odd. And most of the press online from other players who managed to get the game early isn't good. With this action Gamestop managed to wipe out whatever hype was building for this game (admittedly not much, since we're all playing SF and BlazBlue) ruining whatever small chance it had at retail in the first place. Usually I hate hype. I hate the fact we have to wait for something that's obviously done, just so we anticipate it more. But having hype killed for such a niche game doomed it.

I'm not going to write a full review, but I will make a few points here. But before I do, a word of warning: I played this game while visiting Japan, so I will be able to compare it to the actual arcade release...

1.) The sprites are beautiful, huge, and animate well. Problem being, they scaled the roster back to offset the demands of next-gen development and having to redo all the sprites by hand. Only 22 characters this time around. The backgrounds are vibrant and lively, although (like characters), there really aren't many of them (6-7).

2.) Online lags HORRIBLY. I tried playing one match, and could barely get through. Ignition has plans to address this and will be patching the game upon its previously expected release date, next Tuesday. So I will save my opinions until then.

3.) Special move inputs, like most SNK games, are overcomplicated and difficult to do even with a TE Fightstick. Now I may not be a fighting game expert, but I'm far from a noob, and if I have serious problems pulling off more than one super in the game, they're most likely too difficult. Terry's Power Geyser (21416P) is especially difficult for me to pull off.

4.) After BlazBlue, fighters tend to feel similar, and there isn't a tag system like in other KoF games. Why no tag system? I think it has to do with the loading - which, by the way, is TERRIBLE if you don't install the game.

5.) No SNK Boss Syndrome....but that's not a good thing - because there IS no boss! The Arcade mode is simply five Time Attack matches. W...T....EFF?!~

6.) Blatant DLC grab. In so many words they've confirmed the roster is expanding, but you're gonna pay for it. Excluding Mai was deliberate so they could offer her up for DLC.

All that said, the game isn't TERRIBLE, it just stinks horribly when compared against SFIV and BlazBlue. The fact they're charging the full $60 for what amounts to a game with a budget set of features (but good production values, at least from a visual standpoint) really hurts. And the promise of DLC wrecking game balance hurts more. And lack of Mai on the default roster hurts the most...

My first attempt at translation

Here are the Death Smiles achievements, with titles translated for your enjoyment...along with requirements for completion (not part of the translation itself). I took some liberties with the translation - so they aren't exact but were meant to go along with the game. I wanted to test myself to see how, if this game were to be localized, would the achievements translate best. I repeat: I'm trying NOT to make literal translations here because they'd just sound too weird. I'm trying to test myself in localization :D

使い魔の進化 (5)
Familiar Evolution
Play with manual control of your option/familiar. Version 1.1 only. Use the Option Control button if playing with a stick, just waggle the right stick around if using a pad.

戦いの火蓋 (5)
The Battle Begins!
Start a game in the Arcade or XBox 360 modes

復活 (5)
Resurrection
Use a continue(!)

地獄の鎌 (5)
The Sickle of Hell
Defeat Deathscythe (Stage A-1 Boss)

大地に喘ぐ者 (5)
The One who Breathes the Earth
Defeat Jordan (Stage A-2 Boss)

根を下ろし立つ者 (5)
The One who Stands from Roots
Defeat Whroon (Stage B-1 Boss)

継し者 (15)
The Successor
Defeat Sakura (Stage B-2 Boss)

羊羊羊 (10)
Little Lamb, Little Lamb, Lit-tle Lamb
Defeat Mary (Stage C-1 Boss)

炎を司る双竜 (10)
The Two Dragons Governing Over Flames
Defeat Bavaria (Stage C-2 Boss)

双子の竜王 (10)
The Twin Dragon Emperors
Defeat Devaria.Givaria (EXTRA Stage Bosses)

次元の扉で叫びし者 (20)
The One Screaming at True World's Portal
Defeat Jitterbug (Last Boss)

闇の帝王 (50)
The Emperor of Darkness
Defeat Tyrannosatan (True Last Boss)

地獄への入り口 (20)
Mouth of Hell
Select LVL3 for 5 stages during a game. The 5th time you choose LVL3 you'll activate Death Mode for the rest of the game, with the star-shaped revenge bullets that your option can absorb for items

地獄の洗浄 (50)
Hell's Spring Cleaning!
Select LVL3 for all stages, play the Extra stage (Canyon), Final stage (Castle), and clear the game. The Castle stage will be at maximum rank, Death Mode Level 2

任務完全遂行 (30)
Flawless Victory...and Execution!
Clear the game without continuing

爆発物禁止 (20)
No Explosives Allowed!
Clear the game without bombing

長女 (10)
The Eldest Daughter
長女の実力 (20)
The Eldest Daughter's True Strength
Clear, 1CC the game with Rosa

二女 (10)
The Second Daughter
二女の実力 (20)
The Second Daughter's True Strength
Clear, 1CC the game with Follet

三女 (10)
The Third Daughter
三女の実力 (20)
The Third Daughter's True Strength
Clear, 1CC the game with Windia

四女 (10)
The Fourth Daughter
四女の実力 (20)
The Fourth Daughter's True Strength
Clear, 1CC the game with Casper

デイオール四姉妹 (100)
Four sisters DEIOUR * (NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS)
Clear the game with every character

家族との再会 (5)
Reuniting with Family
私の友人 (5)
My Friends
Return Windia to the real world or Windia remains in the spirit world

仕返しはほどほどに (5)
A So-So Strike-back...
おなかいっぱい (5)
I'm Stuffed!
Return Casper to the real world or Casper remains in the spirit world

ただいま (5)
I'm Home!
みんなでお風呂 (5)
Bath Party!
Return Follet to the real world or Follet remains in the spirit world

看板娘 (5)
Show Girl
長女の憂鬱 (5)
Eldest Daughter's Angst
Return Rosa to the real world or Rosa remains in the spirit world


デススマイルズを究めし者 (100)
Deathsmiles Master
Clear all stages at LVL3 in Death Smiles Ver 1.1, including the EX Map, without continuing

究めたエンジェル (80)
Master Angel
Clear Death Smiles Ver 1.1. Contrary to the achievement description, continuing is not allowed

大食漢 (25)
Bullet Glutton
Absorb/cancel a total of 65535 bullets with your option/familiar

お風呂マニア (25)
Bath Mania!!
Watch the ending where Follet stays behind (the bath ending) a total of 10 times

廃車処理のお仕事 (15)
Demolition Work
Destroy the car near the end of the Marsh stage (gives you a bomb) a total of 10 times

あぶねぇあぶねぇ (10)
Watch out! Watch out!
Clear any stage with a half-bar of life and no bombs remaining

食いしん坊 (25)
Gourmand
Pick up 4 life-up items in a single playthrough

友達に手を上げるなんてっ! (10)
What do you mean, surrender?
While playing as Windia, wait for Sakura to self-destruct (time out Sakura?)

弾幕薄いよ! (20)
Just a small...barrage!
Make it to the boss without firing, bombing, or entering power-up mode

止まって見えるわ! (5)
Stop and watch me!
Press the Pose Button(?) during any stage

お金持ちが好き (25)
I like being rich!
Collect 500 large crowns within a single stage

白馬の王子様 (10)
A prince on a white horse
Destroy one form of any boss using only bombs

億万長者 (10)
Billionnaire
もっと億万長者 (20)
Mega billionaire
もっともっと億万長者 (50)
Mega-mega billionaire
Earn a score of over 100, 200, and 300 million points respectively

大復活 (20)
Ultimate Resurrection
Continue 50 times

実力の半分 (5)
Half-power!
Enter Power-up mode at 500
(... exactly 500?)

私の生きる道 (15)
My Way of Life
Return Sakura to the real world

新しい家族 (15)
A New Family
Sakura remains in the spirit world

忘れられし番人 (15)
The Forgotten Guard
Defeat Ozier (Stage 4-B Boss)

CAVEからの挑戦状 (50)
A Challenge from CAVE
Clear every level at Lv999 in one playthrough (continues allowed)

欲張りもん (25)
Natural lust ??
Build the counter to over 50,000

地獄の扉 (5)
Gates Of Hell
Select Lv999 for any level

急がば回れ (15)
More Haste, Less Speed (Slow and Steady Wins the Race)
Go to the castle stage after clearing both EXMaps (4-A and 4-B)

せっかち (5)
Impatience
Go to the castle stage without entering either EXMap

Akihabara for Dummies

If you're a nerd, and you're visiting Tokyo, then I can only assume that one of your first stops on your whirlwind Japan tour will be Electric Town Akihabara...and why wouldn't it be? This neon district of electronics stores, arcades (some of the most famous in the world), Japanese junk food, maid cafes, and quirky manga/anime retailers makes up one of the most characteristic - if not sterotypical - places to explore in Tokyo. But TRAVELER BEWARE! Although Akihabara is generally fairly easy to get around as a foreigner, in general you need to be careful where you go and what you buy - it's easy to get caught up in the chaos only to regret it later.

Have no fear, the Angsty Gaijin is here!

How to get there: Yamanote line. Easy. Three stops from Tokyo station (you can also use the Chuo Line express to cut out a large portion of travel time if going from Shinjuku). But for those unfamiliar with the trains, your friendly neighborhood JR station staff should be able to point you in the right direction. All ticket machines have English modes on them, so there really isn't a whole lot of explanation I can give you regarding how to get there. The important things to take note of occur once you arrive.

Now, the first thing you'll probably notice upon stepping out of Akihabara JR station is the maid cavalry...tons of college students dressed in French Maid costumes... which will be doing their best to get your attention, advertise their businesses, and hand you free packages of tissue (which is used because many public bathrooms don't supply TP or towels). Keep in mind that some of these maid businesses are more reputable than others, and although I'm far from a maid business expert I've noticed that the less English is in an advertisement you're handed, the more likely it is to be shady. I still have the handout I was given during my first trip to Akihabara for "Cutie Relax Maid Massages". I don't even want to know. Seriously. I don't.

Ideally, you want to just smile and walk by, and don't take their handouts unless you really want to. Chances are you're not here for that anyway, which leads me to: the stores.

Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that you're here to buy games. Are you? Good. Now here's the bad news: aside from the region lock issue which affects every console except the GBA, DS, DS Lite, PSP, and PS3, purchasing brand new games will in general set you back far more money than stateside equivalents. A new game can go for 6800 Yen ($70) or much more than that for some Square-Enix titles. Fortunately the rule of mass depreciation doesn't only apply to cars. It applies to video games as well. You can quite regularly find complete games on sale for much much less than retail price. And it happens much, much more quickly than in the states. A game a few weeks old can sell for 30% or more off MSRP in some cases. Each retailer sets their own prices for both new and used games as well.

If buying new (consoles or games):

1.) SHOP AROUND! Remember what I told you above - retailers very often set their own prices, which means something selling for 5800 yen one place might very well be in the bargain bin down the street. Usually price variations are extreme - the only time when stores seem to universally charge the same price is when a game is first released (and as such, they can gouge). The price differences can be attributed to the presence of TONS of competition, unlike in the States. Use that to your advantage.

2.) Know your system. Most have region locks - so you'll either need a Japanese console or a means of circumventing the lock if you want to play them. Good Japanese store clerks will point this out to you as best they can, but most won't bother. Since you're in Japan anyway, you might as well get the systems too...(at least I did) -_-

If buying used (games):

1.) Read the signs! Unlike Gamestop, JP retailers do you a great service. They not only tell you that a copy of a game is used, but they list any particular problems the game or packaging has. Depending on the condition of the individual item, pricing will vary. Thus, if you just want something to play and don't care about packaging, you can get some insanely good deals. Even games with most packaging intact are sold for at least 20% off MSRP - in many cases a lot more. Unfortunately, these "condition notes" on each game are often written in "Japanese gamer dude scribble" which is, in my opinion, the most difficult handwriting to read in the world - period. Yes, worse than doctor prescriptions. Much, much worse. Here are some terms which will help you here:

中古
CHUUKO = "second hand", "used"

ディスク
DISKKU = "disc"

新しい
ATARASHII = "new"

ゲーム
GEEMU = "game"

キズ
KIZU = "wound", "scratch" (in the case of a game, refers to disc scratching or damage)

多い
OOI = "lots of"

なし
NASHI = "without", "not present"

If you can probably tell, the phrase on a game that is a dead giveaway that you really don't want to buy it is: ディスク　キズ　多い (you can figure out what it means from the list above I'm quite sure).

Often the notes are written just like above, not in sentence format.

2.) Know what you're getting. A game that has a rare US version may not be as rare in Japan. Hence tons of copies of PS1 Valkyrie Profile available at 780 yen ($8 each):



Other interesting finds: complete boxed copies of FFIV - VI for Super Famicom @ $20 each, complete boxed copies of Chrono Trigger @ $15 each, complete Secret of Mana I and II @ $18, and Ogre Battle 64 - brand new and wrapped....in the bargain bin for $5. THE BARGAIN BIN! So remember, kids: if it's big in Japan, it's probably not rare in Japan. Don't think your copy of JP Chrono Trigger will fetch that same $100 on Ebay that the US copy will. Of course, if you're buying them to keep, or to play, as opposed to sell, then it's probably worth picking some of these classics up. Just don't expect to be rolling in the dough.

Useful phrases (including the "summon spell" from Yoshinoya - which also works here if you need a cashier or clerk's attention!):

「すみません！！」
SUMIMASEN = "Excuse me..."

「何かを買いたいんですが。。。」
NANIKA WO KAITAI N DESU GA... = "I would like to buy something, but [I need your help]"

「これは、いくらですか？」
KORE WA, IKURA DESU KA = "How much is this?"

「VISAを使っていいですか？」
VISA WO TSUKATTE II DESU KA = "Can I use my VISA?" (lit: "Is it good to use VISA?")

So after you're done with your game shopping, you're probably going to be hungry. Now there are plenty of food stands in Akiba selling Crepes, Takoyaki, Ramen, etc...but if you want the full Akihabara experience, you should probably try out a maid cafe at least once. Now, the maid cafe is a part of Japanese culture that is very, very difficult to explain. Basically, it started as an innocent way for socially awkward Japanese men to part with money in exchange for conversation with women dressed up as maids or other anime stereotypes. The idea was to pull the customers into a fantasy (INNOCENT fantasy that is) of being in an anime - and give them the chance to interact with people that they normally wouldn't either due to shyness or other reasons. The phenomenon exploded out of Akihabara and now there are all types of theme cafes that have more or less the same purpose.

I guess if you have to compare it to anything, think of it as the Japanese version of Hooters without the hooters...erm...so to speak. The food really isn't that special but it is a unique Akihabara experience. I can't say I'd ever go back (especially after my girlfriend heard that I went innocently on a suggestion from a friend), but it was definitely unique. And the clientele has expanded beyond just lonely guys into a socially acceptable form of restaurant for people of both sexes and (almost) any age....



erm.... *gulp*

How To Order At Yoshinoya

By popular request, here is the strategy guide to ordering at one of the cheapest chain restaurants in Tokyo. Enjoy!

Those of us who have traveled in Tokyo before have seen them...they're everywhere. The 24-hour mega-fast-food restaurants known as Yoshinoya. These restaurants are built for people on-the-go and have a very basic menu with traditional Japanese items, but it's some of the cheapest food you can get in the Tokyo area. What's more, surprisingly, is that it actually doesn't taste too bad, either.

In the mornings, these little restaurants are packed with salarymen and career women commuters on their way to work - and with the lightning-fast service and decent prices, it's not difficult to see why these places are popular.

But for those like us, tourists...travelers...there's only one problem...

「エピック失敗」　（Epic　Fail....）

KANJI-HAME-HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO ENGLISH MENUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO HIRAGANA MENUS!!!!!!!!!!!
GOOD LUCK ORDERING, GAIJIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Therefore, for those planning on traveling to Japan sometime in the future (hint: some of this stuff doesn't have seafood or seaweed ingredients, so it's very Western-friendly if you know what to order). First let's go through some of the stuff you can eat there. I took these descriptions from the website, trying to keep in mind what the most "Western" dishes on their menu were. I only had a chance to try two of them (marked with a * below), so I can't vouch for the tastiness of everything.

牛 丼 *
Gyuu don
Beef and onions over rice
This is probably their most popular dish.

牛 焼肉 定職　*
Gyuu Yakiniku Teishoku
Beef and onions with rice and cabbage set (yakiniku is lit: "Korean style BBQ" but the beef tasted the same as the Gyuudon to me).

プレーン カレー
Purein Karei
Plain Curry (served with rice)

豚 アイガケ カレー
Buta Aigake Karei
Curry with pork and rice

親子丼
Oyakodon
Chicken and egg over rice (the egg isn't fully cooked)

並 = Nami = small/normal size (note: even for an American belly, a 'nami' is more than enough food. There are technically two bigger sizes, which I have nicknamed 'too big' and 'sumo', but there's no point in discussing them since even THIS gaijin couldn't stomach more than a 'nami').

So now that you have some vocab, here's the next part...how to order.

Now this can be a terrifying experience even for someone with Japanese experience, so let me point out that you can use your hands to help here. You may not remember the word for "one" is "hitotsu", but you can certainly hold up one finger when saying the name of the dish you want. This also works for size...if you don't remember "nami", just make a gesture with your hands that implies "small".

The the exchange works as follows:

[you enter the store]

Clerk: (in a really loud voice)「いらっしゃいませ！！！！！！！！！！！！！！」
"IRASSHAIMASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Welcome [to our store]!"

Don't worry, they aren't yelling at you, they're simply welcoming you into the shop. You'll hear this a lot in Japan, so don't be surprised. Take your seat, preferably one that has a bit of space between you and the next customer over, and look over the menu, keeping in mind the dishes I listed above are already transliterated for you. Now, unlike in American restaurants, the clerk will not come over to take your order on their own (unless the place is empty). You must know the summon spell! Note that this one magic word will cause instant service at _ANY_ Japanese restaurant or other establishment. Basically an employee will drop whatever they're doing the second they hear you utter it and rush over to help you. So say it loud, say it proud, say:

You: 「すみません！」
"SUMIMASEN!"
"Excuse me, but I would like some help!" (lit: "Excuse me!" or "Pardon me!")

And then once the clerk comes over, place your order.

You: 「並牛丼を一つください。」
"Nami-gyuudon wo hitotsu kudasai."
"One small gyuudon, please."

Make sure to specify "nami" if you're getting any kind of donburi dish (oyakodon, butadon, gyuudon) because otherwise you WILL be subject to a fluent Japanese barrage as they try to figure out what size you want. The curry dishes and teishoku (set meals) do not have sizes like the donburi dishes, so you can eliminate "nami" when ordering.

If you want more than one of a particular dish...you can use the following:

一つ
Hitotsu
One [item]

二つ
Futatsu
Two [items]

三つ
Mitsu
Three [items]

四つ
Yotsu
Four [items]

You: 「並牛丼を二つ下さい。」
　　　 "Nami-gyuudon wo futatsu kudasai."
"Two small gyuudon, please."

And so on.

If you want more than one dish, you can use "to" (pronounced "toe") to link your sentence together:

You: 「並牛丼を一つと、プレインカレーを一つください。」
"Nami-gyuudon wo hitotsu to, purein karei wo hitotsu kudasai."
"One small gyuudon and one plain curry, please."

And you can use "to" over and over again to link more dishes together - but unless you're a real pig or ordering for a bunch of people, you really shouldn't have to use it more than once or twice.

Now, finally, after you enjoy your gigantic bowl or plate of Japanese goodness, there comes that awkward moment where you need to pay the check but aren't really sure how to.... AHA! But you have this guide, my friend. In order to receive your check, first summon the clerk via the summoning spell above:

You: 「すみません！」
"SUMIMASEN!"
"Excuse me, but I would like some help!" (lit: "Excuse me!" or "Pardon me!")

So the clerk will rush over again, and you can ask for your check (which can be paid directly to the clerk at the time it is brought. It is NEVER (and I mean _NEVER_) OK in Japan to just leave money on the table and walk out. No tipping is ever required and in most cases isn't even accepted. Anyways, the request for your bill:

You: 「おかんじょう下さい。」
"Okanjo, kudasai."
"The bill, please."

Then pay your yen. It's that simple.

Chapter 6: Old Capital

Though I wanted to go to Kyoto since I picked up our JR passes at the start of the vacation, I wasn't sure whether or not we would actually get around to it. Since we were both getting pretty tired of the constant hustle and bustle of Tokyo, we decided it might be interesting to finally check out something different. Making reservations for the train went without a hitch, and once again my Japanese ability really helped out. In fact, for those of you planning travel here in the near future with no experience in the language, I HIGHLY suggest planning your route using hyperdia.com, then writing down the name and number of the train you want to make reservations for. This will save the ticket agent some grief as they struggle with trying to figure out how to convert your English into Japanese - it also makes sure you receive the ticket you're expecting.

This time, I made sure we had non-smoking tickets, as the last time I was on the Shinkansen, last year, getting stuck in a smoking car was one of the worst experiences of that vacation. Not being able to breathe for hours at a time as dozens of Japanese salarymen all light up their cigarettes and cigars, with little to no ventilation in the train car, was disgusting. If I get lung cancer, I'm blaming you, Japan. So yeah, that's another thing...unless you like secondhand smoke, RESERVE YOUR TICKETS IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHINKANSEN!

Anyways, this Shinkansen ride went a lot faster than the last one, and the train emptied out sooner as well. The countryside scenery was just as pretty as last time, and I spent the time listening to J-Pop on my iPod as I watched the countryside pass by. Strangely enough, I really didn't get a good view of Mt. Fuji this time, as I was on the wrong side of the train.

The trip to Kyoto took roughly 3 hours, and when we finally rolled into the station it felt great to get off the train. We didn't really have a plan as to what we wanted to do in Kyoto, so we just started walking. Unfortunately, apparently the direction we headed - south - was the wrong direction to head if you were interested in seeing temples, shrines...or really anything at all besides light commercial and residential streets. There was one bright spot, I suppose, in that we found an electronics store called "Jashin" which had a large used game and peripheral section. I even found a rare Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom Fight Stick, which I immediately snapped up, along with a white gamecube controller to match the Wii. Now...keep in mind, this store's selection was great, but it had a problem. A big problem.

The store was a big supporter of the region's pro baseball team, the Hanshin Tigers. Why is this a problem? Well, they have a cheer. A 30 second long Hanshin Tigers Cheer. And this cheer was broadcast over the speakers - on repeat. Now granted, when I worked at K-Mart back in college, I used to get sick of hearing the same Wilson Phillips and Phil Collins songs, but at least they didn't repeat EVERY THIRTY SECONDS. To give you an idea of how annoying this was, here is the Hanshin Tiger cheer in its entirety. It hurts. It hurts. IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My theory is their reasons for broadcasting the cheer are twofold: first, to support the team, and second, to stop gaijin from spending too much time buying stuff in their store. If they were indeed trying to drive us out, congratulations! It worked.

So after purchasing our stuff and fleeing Jashin, we came across a restaurant. It was located in the lobby of a small hotel, and had Japanese lanterns posted listing most of the trademark dishes of the country (so I figured we could find something here that we both could eat - like the Japanese equivalent of a Denny's). Oh, how wrong I was. Upon sitting down, the waitress brought us cups of water and tea. Lisa's tea cup had lipstick on it... lots of lipstick, like it wasn't even washed. Then we noticed a bug crawling across the table...and decided that it probably wasn't a good idea to eat much here.

This left me in a bit of a bind. Since they brought us complimentary tea already, I couldn't just get up and leave without buying something. And neither one of us wanted food poisoning, either.... so that leaves...hmm... THE DRINK MENU! So after looking briefly at the menu, we decided on Green Tea with Cherry and Sakura on the Rocks. When the drinks finally came, one was good - and one was fail. Can you guess which was which?




Sadly, the fail was Sakura on the Rocks. Or, as we would prefer to call it, "Philips Vodka with a Sakura Blossom in it". Yeah. So even though it wasn't very tasty, it managed to give us both a little bit of a buzz since we hadn't eaten anything yet during the day - which I was a bit concerned about, since I'm the one that needs to figure everything out when we're over here in Japan. But anyways, we left the "Denny's" and headed back towards Kyoto station to find some REAL food. It didn't take us long to come to a little indoor mall with about six yummy-looking restaurants. We sat down and ate in one, sans English menu (another problem with Japan...not all places have them), but with my Japanese was able to ask what things were to ensure I was ordering something that was less than crazy. I ended up with a beef meal set and Lisa got a tonkatsu curry (which is a safe standby). Both were delicious - if a bit on the expensive side.

After lunch, we started exploring north and came to the first of many temples along the way. This particular temple was under construction for reinforcement purposes, which looked kind of strange. We didn't stay there long, and sat down at a fountain outside the temple for some much needed rest. A few minutes later, the highlight of the trip occurred:


We weren't at the fountain for longer than three or four minutes before I noticed some Japanese college students giving us strange looks. I just assumed it was our gaijin awesomeness at work, since there are indeed fewer gaijin in Kyoto than in Tokyo. But a couple minutes later they came up to us and began talking in (barely understandable) English:

"Can we talk you for minute?"

Lisa looked confused. I responded yes. They were apparently collecting survey data for what I assume was a school assignment, and wanted to get some opinions from people visiting the temple. Since the English was obviously a barrier - they had to write their questions down - I decided to answer them in Japanese, which shocked them all. The question ranged from where we were from, to our ages, to our interest in the site and any Japanese historical figures. When they asked about why we wanted to come to Japan, I said, in Japanese... "Well, I'm kind of a video game enthusiast (Game Otaku) so..." which caused the girls and a couple of the guys to break out in laughter. The one doing most of the talking pointed to a couple of his buddies and said "They are game otaku too". We talked with this big group of kids for about 2-3 minutes in total, and as they were leaving I asked them in Japanese if we could have a picture together, and they kindly obliged.

This kind of thing would never happen in Tokyo. Ever. But it seems to happen in the Kansai region (Kyoto/Kobe) quite frequently. People are legitimately curious about us, so it's always fun to talk with them. You can't look confused for longer than a few seconds in Kobe without someone asking you if you need help. In Tokyo, you can look lost all day and nobody would even bother - you need to ask for help if you need it.

We saw more shrines and temples in Kyoto, but nothing stood out in my mind as particularly amazing following the awesomeness that was Kamakura. Those temples and shrines were tough to beat - and the ones in Kyoto seem to pale in comparison. Maybe it's something about them all being nestled among high rise buildings, but none of them seemed too "Zen".

So after a few hours we headed back...and everything went well - up until the local train back to Shinjuku. Two stops before ours, an older guy with a long beard wearing a winter coat got on the train. Now keep in mind, it was raining cats and dogs at that time, so why someone would have a winter coat is beyond me...but the coat wasn't the problem. The smell was. When I was a kid, my grandparents used to take me and my sister to the zoo near our cabin in Wisconsin when we went there on vacation - and one of the stops we would always make was to the black bear cage. Whenever one of those bears went into the water, it let off a stink that seemed to go on for miles. They stank before they got in the water, but for some reason the water seemed to amplify it. This guy was the same way. The combination of his sweat, the water, and the fact he probably hasn't taken a shower in months was enough to cause everyone around him on the crowded train car to move away. See, this is the kind of behavior I expected people to do to us since we were foreigners, but that didn't happen at all. But they sure moved for this guy. The Gaijin Barrier is a myth, but if you stink enough, you can have the whole train car to yourself! I actually moved along with the other Japanese guys to the other side of the train car, and fortunately the guy got off at the next stop - but his stench lingered long after he left.

And that's about it, except that this morning we woke up to yet more Japanese people getting it on down the hall. I'm seriously beginning to wonder if the Avenue Q song "You Can Be As Loud as The Hell You Want [When You're Making Love]" is actually a cultural truth in Japan. Ugh...