Cheater, Cheater, Sushi Eater!!!

So, for those that were wondering what happened to us this weekend, we made a brief trip to Chicago. The reasoning was twofold:

1.) Celebrate Christmas early with my immediate family and grandparents (freeing Christmas Eve up for the significant other's family), and...

2.) Take the JLPT.

What's the JLPT? JLPT stands for Japanese Language Proficiency Test, the passing of which may assist with overseas assignments down the line. I signed up for Level 3 - basic conversational level, but after finding some sample tests online I found that studying my textbooks from college - even 300 level ones - left me grossly underprepared. So I hit the books hard this week, after returning from Japan I spent a good deal of time both during the day and at night devoted to reviewing grammar points and learning Kanji.

I studied so much that aside from a brief dinner with my best buddy and a brief visit with my grandparents, the vast majority of my time was spent exiled in a room away from my parents and girlfriend, building up my J-vocabulary. I really, really wanted to pass this thing, and found myself more and more nervous as the test approached.

So finally Sunday - the day of the test - comes. My parents drive me down into ghetto Lincoln Park (not to be confused with the angsty punk rock band with the different spelling) to take the test. There was a big sign for the JLPT on the outside of the building, so the location was fairly obvious. Once inside, I spent a little bit of time chatting with another Level 3 examinee and his girlfriend, who both drove up from southern Indiana to take the test. Like myself, they lamented the fact that Chicago is the only midwest test site - it was either drive to Chicago or fly out to San Fran, Seattle, New York, DC, or Atlanta. Since I have family in Chicago it really wasn't a big deal...but still. In any case, he was just as nervous as I was. We went up to our separate rooms for the exam and took our seats. Each room had two proctors: One that knew no Japanese, and a fluent speaker to answer questions (like they'd tell you anything anyways).

So the test starts - Vocab and Kanji was the first part. I started into the test and marked a few answers before noticing unusual movement. I looked up, and the guy in the row in front of me and to my right had placed (what appeared to be) a CHEAT SHEET LOADED WITH KANJI on the floor in front of him. I wasn't close enough to see exactly what was on it, but it appeared to me that he had written a bunch of information on the back of his test voucher/admission ticket. The proctor, completely oblivious continued to sit and look over something completely unrelated to the test. I couldn't have been the only one to see this.

Now normally, if I was in a college class - or a test with a bell curve where it would have actually mattered to have someone gaining an unfair advantage against me - I would have totally reported this guy right away, but I figured it was pointless. First of all, reporting him would cost ME a couple of minutes of test time on this first section - and secondly, getting him kicked out does nothing for my score. Everyone is graded individually and the score to pass is an even 60%. So really, I had nothing to gain by reporting Mr. Kanji Voucher Ninja.

After the first section of the test ends, he appears to scribble more stuff down on his cheat sheet, this time on the front - yep, it was his entrance voucher. Still too far away to see exactly what he was doing, but it was definitely not kosher. In any case, the next part of the test was the Listening portion, and I was hoping it would go better than the previous section - during which I was both distracted and also confused about a few of the questions.

Luckily, last week's vacation in Tokyo listening to tons of real-life speakers going super-speed turbocharged my Nihongo listening skills. I was a Super Saiyan 4 comprehension wizard, and probably only missed a question or two on that entire section. Mr. Ninja was still writing away on his voucher, probably preparing some hints for the next section of the test. I still couldn't believe neither the English nor Japanese proctor could see this guy. He was in the FRONT ROW. And his cheat sheet was placed diagonally in front of him where he could look at it. I mean, COME ON.

The Grammar section was the hardest part of the sample tests, and the real thing was no different. Yet again, down goes the voucher, in plain view of both proctors. Yet again, nobody notices. I plow through, hopefully getting enough answers I need in order to be certified. They collect the test booklets and the test sheets, and tell us it's OK to leave... when one of the proctors goes to the door and proceeds to request all our entry vouchers. HAHAHAHA...busted. So I gather my stuff and head to the door - and who should be in front of me but Voucher Ninja himself, completely oblivious as he hands over his cheat sheet - which I could now plainly see was loaded with test material. Unbelievable. The proctor, shocked, told him he'd have to stay behind, and let the rest of us go. Since my parents were waiting outside the building to pick me up from the test site, I couldn't stay to watch the carnage. But I'm fairly sure he got his entire test voided and wasted an entire afternoon. 残念ですね。

I'm not sure I passed - there seemed to be a lot of tricks, but I know I got a lot of questions right as well. In any case, I'm glad Mr. Kanji Voucher Ninja got what was coming to him...