夢と現実 (Dreams and reality)

I guess it still hasn't quite settled in yet.

I'm. Going. To. Japan.

Over the last few days I've been doing a lot of research on the area where I'm actually going to be staying, as well as how far away it is from the areas that I have already been to. It turns out that Okazaki is quite spread out, especially considering how densely packed certain areas of Japan are, and getting around there is going to be interesting to say the least. I could rent a bike, but I'm big by even gaijin standards, so finding one that fits is going to be a hassle. Or I could get rollerblades, but I've never seen them worn there, and most of the sidewalks are most likely designed with earthquake prevention in mind - which means they're BUMPY.

Still trying to figure all that out. I do know that I plan to go to Tokyo for approximately three days before classes begin and will probably stay there overnight on my way out of Japan as well, because a direct flight to Nagoya is actually more expensive than taking the Shinkansen from Tokyo, and I'd like to have some time to myself in the big city to get over my jetlag and prepare for the Big Nihongo Immersion Kamehameha homestay blitz. I can't help but be concerned about that.

I mean, what kind of family would volunteer to take on a 27-year-old gaijin doing a study abroad program at Yamasa? What kinds of people are they? Do they expect me to teach their kids English? Will they even have kids? If they do, will those kids be psycho lolis and rockstar wannabes? Are they going to be an older couple who hate gaijin? Will they think I'm crazy? Will they be afraid of me? Will they like me?

I have no idea about any of this stuff, and I'm constantly playing it back in my mind. I sent the university two pictures to aid in homestay matching: one of myself and the girl, and another of myself with my arcade machines. I wanted to send one of my theatre activities, but since I always play a villain character, all the pictures taken of me make me look "scary". *sigh*. I literally have no idea what to expect, and I'm sitting on pins and needles just waiting to receive a profile from Yamasa explaining exactly who my homestay family is. Under normal study abroad programs, I'd most definitely be considered "creepy old", but under this program I'm a spring chicken. This program is actually built with young professionals in mind, which makes it EXTREMELY different from the others I've researched. Which means the homestay families are expecting this. They get to choose which gaijin they house, so the family choosing me would have seen both my profile and my pictures before making that choice.

I guess it doesn't parse in my head. Japanese are typically very reserved, and keep to themselves - ESPECIALLY as far as associating with outsiders is concerned. So the fact that there are not one, not two, but apparently many families in the area willing to house gaijin working on this program is both bizarre and intriguing to me. Yes, they get a stipend. No, it's probably not worth the trouble of having a big, rampaging gaijin taking up a large portion of their living space and nom nom nom nom nomming their food (which is actually part of the contract - two meals daily).

The fact of the matter is, looking at pictures of Okazaki and hearing stories from people who have already gone over, people are not going to be very nice to me on average. They're going to look at me like I came from another world, and even when I'm speaking perfect Japenese to them will probably be subjected to the Gaijin Blackout and not be able to answer me. I need to harden my resolve in order to not be offended by their actions. I have to remember their history and experience with foreigners are (on average) much less than most societies, although it is getting better, and seeing a living, breathing gaijin in areas farther from big cities is very abnormal for a lot of them. So I have to make sure I can take it in stride, and not feel like there's something wrong with me for existing in their space. I'm sure my Gaijin Barrier isn't THAT strong that it would push someone clear across the street. Still, I'm fairly certain that due to this particular town's location, Gaijin Superpowers will be in FULL effect. Well, except for the Gaijin Power. I don't want that one to activate.