Today is the second-to-last day before the Tokyo trip today, and I'm really starting to get restless. Today, however, was an adventure in itself. I already mentioned before that I had plans to attend Distant Worlds: Music From Final Fantasy in Minneapolis today, and I also mentioned how I was going to attempt the world-famous Gaijin Blackout on the one and only Nobuo Uematsu in an attempt to get information regarding the theme song for Final Fantasy XIII. As you can probably guess from the victory pose in the picture above... well... Uematsu, 1; Angsty Gaijin, 0. But then again, I'm probably getting ahead of myself...
We actually got to the Cities around 4pm and met some friends for sushi at one of the better All You Can Eat places in Minneapolis. Now, under normal circumstances I would advise the majority of people to stay away from AYCE sushi. Usually the quality isn't there, the fish isn't fresh, and you're DEFINITELY going to be sorry the next day when it comes out the other end. But luckily, Ichiban isn't one of those places. It's good sushi. And since neither of us had anything to eat up until that point, we ate VERY well. I tried a test-run of my Gaijin Blackout on the sushi chef, in order to special request some tamagoyaki (egg sashimi) which worked flawlessly. I managed to provoke a response of "Fluent Japanese Barrage" which I managed to parry successfully with a well-placed (understanding) nod, and was soon enjoying tamagoyaki. Win.
Oh, I almost forgot. Though I explained the Gaijin Blackout on a previous entry, here's a quick reminder (from GaijinSmash.net):
Why didn't the dude understand me, then? It's a side-effect of the Gaijin Smash, the Gaijin Blackout. The Japanese person is so flustered, so mind-blown over you not being Japanese, that they instantly become incapable of normal human functions. A Gaijin can speak perfect Japanese to them, and they would fail to comprehend even one word. I think you could even punch a Gajin Blackout-afflicted Japanese right in the face, and they would be too flabbergasted to fall down.
This will come into play later. Anyways, after we stuffed our faces with sushi goodness, we went to Gameworks to kill some time and allow our friends to pick up their tickets. We all got bored at Gameworks pretty quickly, since the game lineup hasn't changed at all in the last two years since I've been there. There was one new game, 2Spicy, which can be described as a "street" themed versus rail shooter. The mechanics actually work surprisingly well, and it was quite fun.
Despite that, it didn't take long to become bored in Gameworks, and we headed to the concert hall soon after.
When arriving, it turned out they were already letting people in, so we didn't have long to wait. I got in line and purchased an overpriced T-Shirt and program booklet ($50)...typical Square-Enix tax at work.
The concert itself was amazing. Though a lot of the music that was played was pretty much expected, and they had technical difficulties with the projector during Dear Friends...when they finally got it back online, they were showing video from FFVI. Wrong game, geniuses! (Dear Friends is from FFV, by the way). The best part of the concert, by far, was the live performance of Maria and Draco. The old lady singing for Maria got so into the role, she grabbed the hand of the young guy singing for Draco and looked into his eyes. Poor "Draco" didn't know how to take it and limply held her hand awkwardly, trying to finish the song without incident. The look on his face was priceless.
Immediately after the expected One-Winged Angel finale, it became clear that far more people had purchased tickets to the meet and greet than either one of us expected. They began to gather us at stage right of the theatre. It appears that at least ONE-THIRD of the main level of the theatre had tickets to the reception, and because of this it turned into a cattle call really quickly as the line grew - eventually expanding out the door of the theatre. "Yay, just like ACEN", I muttered to myself. I wasn't wrong. Only this time, no line nazis.
None of the security guys seemed to have any clue what to do with us, a massive queue of otaku with premium reception tickets. One of them told the entire second half of the line to go sit down and wait to be called (YEAH, RIGHT, like that was gonna happen) while another seemed to be trying to find a way to get the line moving. Now, my girlfriend and I were standing about halfway up the line, right near one of the emergency exit doors, next to one of the line "nazis". This wonderful security guy decides he's going to start leading people down to the reception - STARTING FROM THAT DOORWAY. So basically, within the span of 5 seconds, we became the first people in line - much to the chagrin of all the people in front of us clamoring to get backstage. HAHA! Finally, revenge for the Tower Records debacle that was the last Nobuo signing.
Surprisingly, the community theatres I've worked with have better dressing rooms and backstage green rooms than the Orpheum. I'm absolutely surprised that famous/semi famous actors actually get ready and put shows on in this theatre. Backstage is pretty much a dump. It's not dirty, it's just very...empty. No amenities whatsoever, and the room where they had Nobuo and Arnie's table set up was a gigantic, empty "basement".
So we get down there, the first ones in line - and the band members are just finishing up getting their autographs. Good old "Draco" is getting his music book signed by Uematsu-san (ignoring Arnie Roth altogether, which seems to be a pretty common pattern...poor Arnie). So "Draco" gets his picture taken, and then a few more bandmates go up and begin chatting up Uematsu-san, and at this point it's pretty clear to me that he can't understand a single word they're saying to him, so he follows up with the typical Japanese "smile and nod". Sitting next to Uematsu is a young Japanese salaryman with dyed hair and a spotless black suit. This guy followed Uematsu out during his concert introductions with a camera in his face, and was the sole member of Uematsu's "entourage". My girlfriend referred to this guy as Uematsu's "Metrosexual Aide". Originally I thought he was supposed to be his translator, but the guy didn't do any translating whatsoever. In fact, his only job as far as I could tell was to record Uematsu walking around and waving at the crowd. I still have no idea what that guy was doing there, but he certainly wasn't translating anything.
So as the bandmates are talking, I look behind me and notice the rest of the line is following us in. We're first. I stand there for a few seconds like a deer-in-headlights, as I got no response from the minimal security "force" as when it was OK to approach the table. Now, being a well-trained ACEN lemming, I know perfectly well that bum-rushing a guest table before you're supposed to is a bad idea, and I figured I'd have to wait for SOMEONE to give the OK or they'd have a hundred otaku swarming poor Nobuo all at once. But...the security force was nowhere to be found, and after a few seconds my girlfriend prods me and says "go ahead".
OK. I guess. It's go time.
I hand Nobuo my ($30) program and ask, "Would you sign this please?" in perfect Japanese. To which he replies something like "Oh, Japanese... wow!" and signs his name. This is the opening I've been waiting for...time for a Level 3 EX Gaijin Blackout!!!
"So," I say, again in perfect Japanese: "Do you have any plans to write the main theme for Final Fantasy XIII"?
WHAM. I got him. For a second. He starts to respond "Et...to", turns to Mr. Metrosexual Aide, who didn't seem capable of giving him any help with formulating a response...then he turns back to me and counters - no - completely REFLECTS my Gaijin Blackout with playful Engrish: "No Commento". Stunned, I had no idea what to say. Originally, I WANTED to say "If you do end up writing it, could you please make sure there's an English version too?" But the Japanese words weren't coming to me. At all. I was blacked out. Flawless victory, Mr. Uematsu. Flawless victory.
After getting my stuff signed by Arnie too (see, I'm a nice guy, I didn't forget him) and getting my picture taken, my girlfriend tries briefly conversing with Uematsu saying that we met him once before at PLAY! in Chicago with Angela Aki. But it's pretty clear he doesn't understand a word of it, and yet again Mr. Metrosexual Aide is unable to assist with translation. I couldn't help either, as I was still reeling from Uematsu's Level 3 Focus Nihonjin Blackout.
But overall, it was a great night, and I'm really looking forward to Tokyo.
Gaijin Blackout counter...one day I will get my revenge.
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