Chapter 6: Old Capital

Though I wanted to go to Kyoto since I picked up our JR passes at the start of the vacation, I wasn't sure whether or not we would actually get around to it. Since we were both getting pretty tired of the constant hustle and bustle of Tokyo, we decided it might be interesting to finally check out something different. Making reservations for the train went without a hitch, and once again my Japanese ability really helped out. In fact, for those of you planning travel here in the near future with no experience in the language, I HIGHLY suggest planning your route using hyperdia.com, then writing down the name and number of the train you want to make reservations for. This will save the ticket agent some grief as they struggle with trying to figure out how to convert your English into Japanese - it also makes sure you receive the ticket you're expecting.

This time, I made sure we had non-smoking tickets, as the last time I was on the Shinkansen, last year, getting stuck in a smoking car was one of the worst experiences of that vacation. Not being able to breathe for hours at a time as dozens of Japanese salarymen all light up their cigarettes and cigars, with little to no ventilation in the train car, was disgusting. If I get lung cancer, I'm blaming you, Japan. So yeah, that's another thing...unless you like secondhand smoke, RESERVE YOUR TICKETS IN ADVANCE FOR THE SHINKANSEN!

Anyways, this Shinkansen ride went a lot faster than the last one, and the train emptied out sooner as well. The countryside scenery was just as pretty as last time, and I spent the time listening to J-Pop on my iPod as I watched the countryside pass by. Strangely enough, I really didn't get a good view of Mt. Fuji this time, as I was on the wrong side of the train.

The trip to Kyoto took roughly 3 hours, and when we finally rolled into the station it felt great to get off the train. We didn't really have a plan as to what we wanted to do in Kyoto, so we just started walking. Unfortunately, apparently the direction we headed - south - was the wrong direction to head if you were interested in seeing temples, shrines...or really anything at all besides light commercial and residential streets. There was one bright spot, I suppose, in that we found an electronics store called "Jashin" which had a large used game and peripheral section. I even found a rare Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom Fight Stick, which I immediately snapped up, along with a white gamecube controller to match the Wii. Now...keep in mind, this store's selection was great, but it had a problem. A big problem.

The store was a big supporter of the region's pro baseball team, the Hanshin Tigers. Why is this a problem? Well, they have a cheer. A 30 second long Hanshin Tigers Cheer. And this cheer was broadcast over the speakers - on repeat. Now granted, when I worked at K-Mart back in college, I used to get sick of hearing the same Wilson Phillips and Phil Collins songs, but at least they didn't repeat EVERY THIRTY SECONDS. To give you an idea of how annoying this was, here is the Hanshin Tiger cheer in its entirety. It hurts. It hurts. IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My theory is their reasons for broadcasting the cheer are twofold: first, to support the team, and second, to stop gaijin from spending too much time buying stuff in their store. If they were indeed trying to drive us out, congratulations! It worked.

So after purchasing our stuff and fleeing Jashin, we came across a restaurant. It was located in the lobby of a small hotel, and had Japanese lanterns posted listing most of the trademark dishes of the country (so I figured we could find something here that we both could eat - like the Japanese equivalent of a Denny's). Oh, how wrong I was. Upon sitting down, the waitress brought us cups of water and tea. Lisa's tea cup had lipstick on it... lots of lipstick, like it wasn't even washed. Then we noticed a bug crawling across the table...and decided that it probably wasn't a good idea to eat much here.

This left me in a bit of a bind. Since they brought us complimentary tea already, I couldn't just get up and leave without buying something. And neither one of us wanted food poisoning, either.... so that leaves...hmm... THE DRINK MENU! So after looking briefly at the menu, we decided on Green Tea with Cherry and Sakura on the Rocks. When the drinks finally came, one was good - and one was fail. Can you guess which was which?




Sadly, the fail was Sakura on the Rocks. Or, as we would prefer to call it, "Philips Vodka with a Sakura Blossom in it". Yeah. So even though it wasn't very tasty, it managed to give us both a little bit of a buzz since we hadn't eaten anything yet during the day - which I was a bit concerned about, since I'm the one that needs to figure everything out when we're over here in Japan. But anyways, we left the "Denny's" and headed back towards Kyoto station to find some REAL food. It didn't take us long to come to a little indoor mall with about six yummy-looking restaurants. We sat down and ate in one, sans English menu (another problem with Japan...not all places have them), but with my Japanese was able to ask what things were to ensure I was ordering something that was less than crazy. I ended up with a beef meal set and Lisa got a tonkatsu curry (which is a safe standby). Both were delicious - if a bit on the expensive side.

After lunch, we started exploring north and came to the first of many temples along the way. This particular temple was under construction for reinforcement purposes, which looked kind of strange. We didn't stay there long, and sat down at a fountain outside the temple for some much needed rest. A few minutes later, the highlight of the trip occurred:


We weren't at the fountain for longer than three or four minutes before I noticed some Japanese college students giving us strange looks. I just assumed it was our gaijin awesomeness at work, since there are indeed fewer gaijin in Kyoto than in Tokyo. But a couple minutes later they came up to us and began talking in (barely understandable) English:

"Can we talk you for minute?"

Lisa looked confused. I responded yes. They were apparently collecting survey data for what I assume was a school assignment, and wanted to get some opinions from people visiting the temple. Since the English was obviously a barrier - they had to write their questions down - I decided to answer them in Japanese, which shocked them all. The question ranged from where we were from, to our ages, to our interest in the site and any Japanese historical figures. When they asked about why we wanted to come to Japan, I said, in Japanese... "Well, I'm kind of a video game enthusiast (Game Otaku) so..." which caused the girls and a couple of the guys to break out in laughter. The one doing most of the talking pointed to a couple of his buddies and said "They are game otaku too". We talked with this big group of kids for about 2-3 minutes in total, and as they were leaving I asked them in Japanese if we could have a picture together, and they kindly obliged.

This kind of thing would never happen in Tokyo. Ever. But it seems to happen in the Kansai region (Kyoto/Kobe) quite frequently. People are legitimately curious about us, so it's always fun to talk with them. You can't look confused for longer than a few seconds in Kobe without someone asking you if you need help. In Tokyo, you can look lost all day and nobody would even bother - you need to ask for help if you need it.

We saw more shrines and temples in Kyoto, but nothing stood out in my mind as particularly amazing following the awesomeness that was Kamakura. Those temples and shrines were tough to beat - and the ones in Kyoto seem to pale in comparison. Maybe it's something about them all being nestled among high rise buildings, but none of them seemed too "Zen".

So after a few hours we headed back...and everything went well - up until the local train back to Shinjuku. Two stops before ours, an older guy with a long beard wearing a winter coat got on the train. Now keep in mind, it was raining cats and dogs at that time, so why someone would have a winter coat is beyond me...but the coat wasn't the problem. The smell was. When I was a kid, my grandparents used to take me and my sister to the zoo near our cabin in Wisconsin when we went there on vacation - and one of the stops we would always make was to the black bear cage. Whenever one of those bears went into the water, it let off a stink that seemed to go on for miles. They stank before they got in the water, but for some reason the water seemed to amplify it. This guy was the same way. The combination of his sweat, the water, and the fact he probably hasn't taken a shower in months was enough to cause everyone around him on the crowded train car to move away. See, this is the kind of behavior I expected people to do to us since we were foreigners, but that didn't happen at all. But they sure moved for this guy. The Gaijin Barrier is a myth, but if you stink enough, you can have the whole train car to yourself! I actually moved along with the other Japanese guys to the other side of the train car, and fortunately the guy got off at the next stop - but his stench lingered long after he left.

And that's about it, except that this morning we woke up to yet more Japanese people getting it on down the hall. I'm seriously beginning to wonder if the Avenue Q song "You Can Be As Loud as The Hell You Want [When You're Making Love]" is actually a cultural truth in Japan. Ugh...

Chapter 5: Zen

It's true what they say. Amidst all the chaos and wonder that is Tokyo...the game centers, the train stations, the restaurants, the crowds...it really is just another city. You could get the Tokyo experience - minus all the Japanese of course - by going to any major city in the US (for the closest experience, I'd say NYC). The only REAL difference (aside from the language barrier) is the homeless people in Tokyo won't harass you for money - the only people getting up in your face will be handing you free samples and coupons (quite a change for the better if you ask me). Well, except for Roppongi, where Nigerians outside of each bar along the strip will attempt to bully you (in broken English or Japanese) in order to get you to enter the bar or hostess club they work for. How all those Nigerians got here to Tokyo - or why they came here -I have no idea. They should work for the Prince of Nigeria instead - I hear he's got a lot of money tied up in foreign accounts that he needs help extracting. Or, at least that's what the e-mail told me. ;) Have you ever heard an African national attempt to speak Japanese? I have, and I couldn't understand a word of it.

Anyway, we were both getting rather tired of the Tokyo crowds, so our opportunity for a trip to the outskirts came just in time. First up was Kamakura, an ancient capital of Japan and samurai city - and one of the birthplaces of the zen buddhism sect in Japan. Kamakura was actually selected by my uncle's coworkers (Iwama-san and Kawai-san) who took care of my uncle and I when we came to Japan last year. They wanted to meet up with me again and take a road trip, and I was more than happy to tag along. I wasn't planning on them driving us in the company car though. I figured it would cost them less money to take the train, so I felt a little guilty that they were using the company car to take us to Kamakura.


Anyways, Kamakura is about an hour south of Tokyo, and the ride there was very interesting - if only because the divide between Japanese city and Japanese countryside is immediate. You literally go from urban sprawl to forested mountains in a matter of seconds - and the nature here is absolutely breathtaking. Kamakura is a little "suburb" - if you could even call it that - and has a completely different "flavor" than Tokyo. It's not abnormal in Kamakura to see people walking around in kimonos/yukatas going about their daily business. Buildings are close together, like Tokyo, but no building is taller than two stories. If I had to compare it to anything in America, I'd say it has the flavor of Key West, Florida - without all the tropical stuff. The way the buildings were arranged is a lot like residential areas of Key West - but they're obviously a lot more Japanese. The roads are so old that, even though they are two way streets, there is only enough room for one car to traverse them at a time. That lead to some interesting situations since the company "car" we were riding in was a gigantic minivan. We had a couple of close calls during the trip, but Kawai-san was at the wheel and I get the impression he's used to driving in difficult conditions.

We saw a lot of buildings and temples, so I'll just share some highlights. Our first stop was the Daibutsu - the "Great Buddha". This statue of Buddha, several stories tall and made of bronze, was one of the most breathtaking sights I've seen in Japan. Not so much because of how it looks now, but because of the tremendous amount of effort it must have taken to carve the thing. It didn't take long to see most of the artifacts at the Daibutsu location, so we moved on after a few minutes of taking pictures.


Next up was Zeni-Arai. This shrine (note: temples = Buddhism, shrines = Shinto) is one of the most interesting stops on our tour of Kamakura, if only because the custom here is just plain weird. "Zeni" is one reading for "money", and "Arai" comes from "arau" which means "to wash". The shrine is dedicated to one of the Shinto gods of wealth, and it is said that if you wash your money in the pond here, its value will double. I'm not so sure it works, but that didn't stop Iwama-san and Kawai-san from washing their cash (including $100 bill equivalents). They asked us if we wanted to try too, but we politely declined. I saw no reason to have a soggy wallet for the rest of the day. :)



Aside from being very beautiful, the other interesting thing about Zeni-Arai is that it was one of the first of many places on our Kamakura tour with tons and tons of Triforces. Yep, that's right. The Legend of Zelda Triforce is everywhere, in both Shinto shrines and Buddhist temples. I have no idea why this is, or what the "true" meaning of the Triforce is. Since Miyamoto is originally from the Kyoto area, which is another major area for temples and shrines, I'm pretty sure he "borrowed" the symbol for use in the games. Anyway, soon after Zeni-Arai we ended up stopping for lunch.

Now, first of all, something needs to be said about going out to eat with Japanese people. They try way too hard to please their guests, and the phrase "wherever you would like" in response to them asking "where would you like to eat?" doesn't seem to parse in their brains - even though they have a preference, and they want you to pick the right one. Usually you'll have no idea whether you guessed right or guessed wrong, since they will pretend to like it either way. Since I knew next to nothing about Kamakura I really wanted them to make the decision for us, and then I'd take a look at the menu outside the restaurant and make sure there was something on the menu that both Lisa and I could enjoy (which is true for most places in Japan anyways). So you basically have two choices when you're caught in this logic loop with your Japanese hosts. The first choice is to just pick somewhere and hope for the best, which tends to have mixed results... OR, you hang back and "turtle" - don't make any decision at all until they finally pick the restaurant. I took the second choice, and although it didn't pay off in the end for us, I believe Iwama-san and Kawai-san legitimately wanted to eat at this place, so that's perfectly OK.



One thing I learned last year from travelling with my uncle is a very simple rule when it comes to food places: if it's empty, don't go in. If it's crowded, it's probably good - or at the very least, won't make you sick. This place had a line out the door, so we assumed the best. It didn't look like there was too much on the menu that wasn't fish-based, although they did have a tempura set which both Lisa and I selected. Iwama-san and Kawai-san ordered a VERY hardcore-looking bowl of boiled mini-sardines and rice. I assumed (correctly) that these boiled baby sardines are famous in this area, since I saw several vendors selling them in packages to passerby.

In any case, upon receiving our food, we noticed a familiar pink-and-white spongy substance in our bowls of miso soup...fu. The same stuff that appeared on the shabu-shabu vegetable plate during our outing with Satoshi and Kanae. I was hoping to finally know exactly what it was, so I asked Iwama-san...unfortunately, just like with Satoshi and Kanae, no English translation could be produced. "It's just fu." WHAT IS FU?! Lisa and I have a theory that it's made of something really nasty that our Japanese hosts don't want to tell us about, and that's why no translation can be produced. It has no flavor; and it looks like a fish cake (like the kind you put in ramen). To this day I still have no idea what it is - so if one of you folks know, feel free to drop me a line. I ate a few pieces of it and haven't gotten sick...YET.



The big whopper of exotic eating - some of those raw baby sardines the Kamakura area is known for - also appeared on our set plates, garnished with a little daikon (Japanese radish). Now, those of you who have been following my blog and my facebook page know my two rules about
eating bizarre foods. Usually I try to be pretty open here, since it doesn't hurt to try unusual things...however:

1.) I can't be able to tell what animal it came from (thus it can't be whole).

2.) Andrew Zimmern did not barf it up on television.

Unfortunately, these sardines were still whole. And Lisa wasted no time in pointing out to our hosts that I hadn't tried the local delicacy, knowing full well about my rules about trying bizarre foods. I was feigning that I was full in order to get out of eating those, but it was not to be. Once they gestured to the sardines, I didn't really have a choice in the matter anymore. Down the hatch.

It's the first - and hopefully LAST - time I ever ate anything with its eyes still intact. That said, it didn't really taste much like fish at all. In fact, if I had to compare it to anything, I'd say it was a mild version of tsukemono (pickled veggies). I was expecting the texture to be a lot grosser than it was - not to say that I liked it, or that I'd eat it again by choice - but it wasn't DREADFUL. Bizarre food rule #1 was broken. Thanks, Lisa. :-P

Fortunately, I got my revenge a few minutes later where, through pressure, I managed to convince her to try one as well. She agreed on the lack of a fishy taste. I tried to explain to Iwama-san and Kawai-san that it's hard for most Americans to eat whole fish or insects, because it's hard for us to imagine them as food. I don't think the message got across completely but they seemed happy we at least tried them.

Another thing about going out to eat with Japanese folks. "Senpai" (elders) always pay for "Koohai" (subordinates). So there's usually a battle about the bill when a "Koohai" offers to pay for "Senpai". Iwama-san has been nice enough to not only take us to Kamakura, but also to refuse to accept any payment for the temple or shrine entry fees and snacks along the way - so the least - the VERY least I could do is pay for lunch for him and Kawai-san. It took me five minutes of solid pleading in order to allow him to let me pay for him. But I'm very glad I was able to finally convince him, since it was the very least I could do - especially for all his hospitality both this year and last year.



We saw a few more shrines after lunch, including one near the restaurant which makes up the Kamakura "town square". Now, when I mentioned in my last entry that the Japanese were very commerce-centric, that was not an understatement. Lining the shrine were stands selling various kinds of candy and souvenirs. Those crazy Japanese even managed to commercialize their own religions. Then again, Christianity is arguably commercialized in the States too - but I can't think of too many churches where you go in and have overpriced food stands and souvenir shops (admittedly, I'm sure there are a few that serve/sell donuts and coffee, but that makes a little more sense). In any case, we were just in time to witness a traditional Japanese wedding, only.... THE GROOM WAS A GAIJIN!!!! My nerd radar was blaring (we can recognize our own), and this guy had the biggest grin on his face I've ever seen. I wonder where he managed to find a set of traditional Japanese garb that could actually fit him? Ah well, as Laki best put it: "Score another one for America." There was actually more than one wedding going on there, as that particular shrine symbolizes happy marriage, so I guess lots of people want to get married there.



There were also bags of food pellets for 100yen that people could purchase to feed the birds or the absolutely MONSTROUS koi that were in the ponds around the temple complexes. I swear, these fish would snap a good size walleye in two - that's how big they were. The picture above doesn't really do these guys justice. They were absolutely gigantic.

After a bit more exploration, we were all getting tired. So we finally returned to Tokyo, I gave them my gifts I brought from the States, and said our goodbyes. Lisa and I then checked out a local ramen shop, where I couldn't read the menu very well but was able to ask what things were (which was more than enough to order), and we had some really good ramen, believe it~!

At this point I'd like to end this entry on a good note, but it was not to be. Upon waking up and leaving the hotel room the next morning, we got an earful of a Japanese couple getting it on from down the hall. It was disgusting. You could hear it THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE HALLWAY. And it was loud. And at first I thought it was a bird or something, until I heard the pillow-talk... "SUGOI!! SU~GO~I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *flinch* *wince* *shiver*.... Thin walls. I was able to "purify" myself a bit later by buying a Japanese Wii and Taiko-No-Tatsujin....

A brief update...

I know I haven't written for a while, but I've been so busy going from one thing to another that I could barely find the time! So, rather than make an entry for each day I missed, I'm going to condense all the happenings of the last few days into two DECENT blog entries. Watch for them soon.

Unfortunately I have the headache from hell at the moment (courtesy of a 3-hour train ride) and won't be able to post them tonight, but you can bet you'll see them soon, as I have notes covering most of the important details I want to share with you guys.

Matta ne!

Chapter 4: Assumptions

Interlude: Japanese commercialism

Although I have a lot to talk about today, I wanted to write a bit about the observations of the Japanese commercial culture. They are, first and foremost, INSANELY driven by the "here and now", often leaving behind what they were just lusting after only a short time before in pursuit of the next big thing. On every street corner, there are people "harrassing" passerby, handing out fliers or free samples of items. If there isn't anyone present, there most likely is a TV playing commercials telling you to buy stuff. Now, although this isn't all that different from America, the culture of how to pay on an entirely different level. Credit cards are not very common, although accepted at some places, and it's not unusual to see people carrying around 10,000 yen ($100) bills and using them to pay for relatively small items. (In America, using a $100 at a gas station to buy a drink would probably cause the cashier to give you a strange look). The gift-giving nature of the culture (where all business meetings and social gatherings more or less require a gift exchange of some sort) fuels this impulse-based commerce and produces even MORE opportunities to buy frivolous stuff. It's fascinating and curious at the same time.

Anyways, back to our regularly scheduled blog...

Yesterday's trip to Akihabara was nice, and pretty much business as usual. I don't want to spend a lot of time on this except to say that there were games to be bought, and food to be eaten. It's still my favorite district of Tokyo, but even I'll admit that it gets to be a bit tiring. There were a few "duty free" tourist trap shops, but in exchange for losing the 5% consumption tax, the price of goods (such as rice makers and kimonos) skyrockets 15-20%, making it pretty much pointless to shop there. A shame, but we could probably get better and cheaper "touristy" stuff at the Japanese Spencer's in Lumine mall, by our hotel. One great find at retro game shop Super Potato was a boxed copy of Ogre Battle 64, unopened, for 500 yen. OGRE BATTLE 64. IN THE BARGAIN BIN. >.<

Then again, Square-Enix stuff like Valkyrie Profile PS1 and even Persona 2 and Suikoden 2 from other publishers on the PS1 was sub-$20. Games, with very few exceptions, do not hold their value here the way they do in the States. Boxed copies of the Super Nintendo Final Fantasies are about as common as boxed copies of Madden 200x on PS2. I wish I was kidding.



After shopping and playing a few games of BlazBlue (which was better the second time around - before I got Nihonjin Smashed off of the machine by a local player), we ventured to Kabukicho for shabu-shabu with Satoshi and his girlfriend. Now, granted, it's difficult for me to tell the age of a Japanese woman...but when we first met his girlfriend, I'd say....well, she looked much, MUCH younger - I'd say about half his age - and something just seemed "off" about the whole thing. But she was nice to us, and she actually could hold a conversation about Final Fantasy, which was shocking. And besides, I can't judge, since I don't know the situation, and...well...things are different here. Relationship rules are different here (more on that in a bit). I'm proud of him. "Naisu Katchi!" (nice catch!)

Anyways, Kabukicho...the Japanese Las Vegas. Hostess bars, pachinko parlors, overpriced food, and Yakuza...fortunately didn't have any run-ins with the latter. Satoshi told me that Kabukicho is harmless until after midnight. Anyway, amidst the craziness sat the little shabu-shabu place, very nondescript. On the inside, it turned out to be quite a bit larger than expected, and we got a table and had a good meal. Shabu-shabu, for those unaware, is vegetables and premium beef boiled in water piece-by-piece and eaten immediately afterwards. Though most of the vegetables given to us were easily recognizable, there was one odd thing on the plate: MOCHI. Not the delicious ice cream dessert mochi you're thinking of. No, this was the most evil, insidious food I've ever had the displeasure of consuming. It consisted of solid rice dough, in little rectangles. Satoshi and his girlfriend suggested Lisa and I try this "mochi", so we prepared it in the shabu-shabu pot. Now, I should have known something was wrong the second I removed it from the boiling water. It had the texture and color of Elmer's Glue, but was thicker. It stuck to the chopsticks but oozed back onto the plate after each pickup attempt. I was hesitant; I knew how this was going to end. But being polite, I ate it...or at least, I tried to. It tasted like mashed, heated, paper. The rice paste had no flavor at all, and was extremely difficult to swallow. I couldn't get it down, I had to spit it out. I felt bad about this, as it could be seen as a sign of disrespect, but they thought it was funny - and I really didn't have a choice...the stuff was disgusting. Thus, a word to the wise: if you're ever offered mochi at a time other than dessert, back away slowly and then RUN!

After dinner, they kindly walked us back to Shinjuku station so we didn't get lost. After reaching the hotel, we headed back upstairs and crashed.

Today we visited a small amusement park in Ikebukuro called NamjaTown. NamjaTown is famous for two things, fortunately both food-related: The World Gyoza Stadium and Ice Cream City. Now, like the titles would suggest, these little "regions" within the theme park consist of different vendors selling all types of specialty gyoza and ice cream. We ended up trying a variety of gyoza: 3 meat, mayonnaise, habanero, pan-seared, inari-coated, and deep fried. NOM NOM NOMMITY NOM NOM NOM. All were delicious, except maybe the mayonnaise ones. Lisa liked those the best, ironically. At Ice Cream City we got berry sundaes with crepes and "Magic Snow" (shaved milk with a fruit topping). The "Magic Snow" was actually pretty bizarre, it had the texture of cotton candy but not the flavor, it melted in your mouth, and tasted great. I've never had anything like it before. The crepe sundaes were pretty straightforward, but the crepes were far more delicious than normal ice-cream cones.




We also located the octopus and beef tongue ice cream that Andrew Zimmern tried on Bizarre Foods on the Tokyo episode...but dude...if Andrew couldn't eat it without barfing it up on TV, I wasn't even going to try. It just wasn't in the cards. Nope. Sorry. I usually try to be pretty flexible about trying bizarre foods, but I have two rules: (1.) I cannot be able to tell what animal it is from the food I'm served, and (2.) Andrew Zimmern did not puke it up.



The thing about NamjaTown, other than the food, was the decor. Each of the themed areas was different, there was a fairy-tale style "dessert garden", a haunted village, and a military barracks (which contained some of the worst US Military propaganda ripoffs in history. My mouth dropped at some of this stuff:




Honestly, who thinks of this stuff? Our symbol for freedom, given a tie and bastardized as the ghostbusting NamderBirds Secret Agency. Wow. Just wow. I don't even know where to go with that.

After that, we had delicious yakitori with someone from IBM Japan that I worked with previously. He's Canadian - another gaijin - who has lived here for around 7 years. We talked a lot about the stereotypes of Japan, and he had some interesting things to say about the reality of living and working in Japan:

1.) They do not change. Their theory is: if something worked in the past, it will always work. No changing, no innovation. They protect and refine what they already know how to do. Requesting change will be shot down with maximum stonewalling or ignorance.

2.) Job security is definite in this country. Which means while it's next to impossible to get fired, it is also next to impossible to leave if you don't like your job and get another one (especially as a foreigner).

3.) It is illegal to BE a prostitute, but not to VISIT one...

4.) Businessmen do cheat on their wives. Often. There are entire establishments devoted to such things. Marriages are more often business relationships than that of love.

5.) Working long hours is the norm. 8AM to 8PM days are common.

6.) To those who believe Japan is the best country in the world and the best awesome country in the world, yet haven't been here yet: "Living in Japan is wonderful. Working in Japan is hell."

Chapter 3: Shokku

I'd like to write a lot tonight, but I think the jet lag finally caught up to me. As such, there won't be much today except a few pictures.

We went to Akihabara and picked up some stuff, among the finds was the Advent Children Complete Blu Ray with FFXIII demo and a Japanese 360, among other things. We actually broke down and got the used one since it contained the Star Ocean stuff Lisa was drooling over. We tested it in the hotel room and everything seems A-OK. No RROD, no fail, no weird noises (the disc drive is a bit slow, but it's a new model and an arcade system at that, so it'll be fine).

We met Satoshi and his girlfriend for shabu-shabu in Kabukicho. That was interesting, for a lot of reasons. Lots of Japanese practice, and I learned quite a few interesting things about Japan...

Chapter 2: Pride

We crashed pretty hard last night. So hard that in all honesty I couldn't have written any more if I wanted to. Even if I could have, though, I really didn't have much to say at that point. I was on a plane for 12 hours, and a bus for 2 more hours. I was uncomfortable, tired, and sore. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was blog. Oh, the things I do for you guys. <3.

Today, however, things finally got underway. We woke up around 5 AM courtesy of the jet lag, unable to go back to sleep. When I tried, I ended up diving into a nightmare where I was about to graduate high school but couldn't because I somehow forgot to go to my AP English class for half the semester. How this could have happened is beyond me, but I was more than relieved to burst out of that dream and awaken back in Tokyo. Let's get this party started!

We got things underway by exploring the area. I tried several times, unsuccessfully, to convince Lisa to go to Akihabara because I had a craving to buy some games. I tried everything from "I can't read the menus at the restaurants, let's go to a district where I can" (partially true), to "I won't buy anything" (blatant lie). It didn't end up working since she knows my tricks, which was for the best regardless. We went to one of the 24-hour convenience stores to pick up some drinks, as we were already completely parched from walking around Shinjuku for an hour or so. I ended up getting Calpis (NOT Cow Piss) Water and Lisa ended up with a peach nectar. Both were delicious and we'll probably end up getting those drinks again tomorrow. With that taken care of, we ventured back out into the wilds of Japan and noticed - everything was STILL closed (by now, it was 9:30 AM).

One interesting thing about Japan - for as hard as these people work, they sure don't get up early. The Tokyo Salaryman Commuter Army (hereafter referred to as TSCA) doesn't hit the streets until 9:30 AM or later. Most of the stores don't even open until 10:30 or 11:00 AM. Restaurants are pretty much the same deal, except for the 24-hour shops like Yoshinoya (more on that in a moment), coffee places, or places that serve morning set meals to snag the commuter crowd - and there are less of those than you'd think given the size of said commuter crowd.

As two fully rested gaijin who were up since daybreak courtesy of jet lag, we found the late opening of the stores to be more than a minor inconvenience - it was a down right pain in the ass. Lisa got frustrated that we weren't "doing anything interesting", I got frustrated because there was nothing interesting to do. After a little back-and-forth, we decided the best course of action would be to grab a bite to eat and go back to the hotel to wait out the store openings. Unfortunately, we ran into a small snafu. You see, a lot of these smaller chains in Japan don't have English menus, kana menus, or even hiragana menus... that's right. The moment you step in the door of one of these places you are most likely going to be _blasted_ with a full 100% Kanji menu. For a person like me who can actually read some kanji and all the kana, this is a huge pain in the ass, because not only can I not read half the menu, the parts I can read I'm not even sure I'm pronouncing (and thus ordering) correctly! And unfortunately, the only place that seemed to be open at the time - Yoshinoya (a big chain) - was currently up to its ears in TSCA and I wasn't about to go in there and try my best gaijin deer-in-headlights impression.

Needless to say this was frustrating - but I had a plan. We went back to the hotel and I installed RikaiChan (a kanji dictionary/lookup tool) on this laptop. Then I pulled up Yoshinoya's menu from their website and went to town. From this I was able to deduce the items we wanted (gyudon/beef rice bowl) and the size (small). Then it was easy-peasy from there. We charged in, gaijin-smashed our way to the seats, and I spoke up clearly:

"Nami-gyudon wo futatsu kudasai."

Easy as that. Within five minutes we were chowing down on the BEST $2.80 meal in the world. Take THAT, Sam's Club Pizza. If only Rochester had a Yoshinoya. I can dream, ne?

Unfortunately, when it came time to pay I was stuck with a huge handful of different coins, which the guy at the counter started plucking from (without my permission I might add, I was perfectly capable of counting it out myself). Accidentally, he grabbed a rogue penny still left over from when I was in the US (mistaking it for a 10 yen coin), and stopped us at the door. I was really embarrassed, even though it wasn't techically my fault. I handed him the 10 yen and we were out the door.

We walked around a bit more, found some game centers. I got to play Tatsunoko Vs Capcom arcade version (actually the Wii version is superior) and even Gaijin Smashed the hell out of a local player using my team of Ryu and Morrigan. Yep. I beat a Japanese man - at a fighting game! Amazing, I know. Unfortunately, he put in another coin, causing a rematch, and he unleashed his latent Nihonjin Smackdown Power(tm) using a team of Yatterman and Batsu. Never in my LIFE have I played anyone who loves to use low jab so often. There was no way to knock that guy up in the air for my Combo of Doom. So I lost, and then played some BlazBlue (actually not as good as I thought it would be) and Otomedius (still crazy fun). We went upstairs soon after that and tried out DDR X, which in this arcade had an entire setup which both flashed large sets of stage lights (not just the ones on the machine - these were hooked up to the sides too) and fans blowing on the players. It was easily the most comfortable game of DDR I've ever played. Not sure what I think of the new interface though. It all seems a bit - much - like it's compensating for something...

Back to the hotel for a bit of rest, and then to Yadobashi Camera to look at game prices. One thing to keep in mind here if you're a gamer traveling in Japan: EVERYONE SETS THEIR OWN PRICE. In the three places I've already been, I've seen price differences from a few hundred up to a couple thousand yen - so make sure you shop around, especially if you plan on buying used games. Anyways, I found some stuff I want, but I put off buying it until the trip to Akihabara tomorrow, since I want to make sure I'm getting the best deal.

We then were off to meet Satoshi at Takadanobaba station. I hadn't seen him since his last visit to Rochester, and since he was promoted he's not on rotation to travel over there anymore, so it was nice to see him. We got coffee to catch up, and then went to a Yakiniku restaurant. Now, for those unfamiliar with Yakiniku, it works like this. They bring a charcoal grill to the table. You order raw meat and veggies. You cook said raw meat and veggies on the grill. It's delicious and not very expensive - especially when sharing. This was my first time trying beef tongue, which actually (aside from being a little chewy) tastes like - you guessed it - beef. It wasn't bad at all. Lisa was a bit hesitant at first but ended up trying it as well.


After dinner we went to Shibuya for karaoke. Shibuya is the young peoples' district where people go to unwind after work. It's a cheaper, younger Roppongi, I suppose. We met Jun-san, Nobu-san, and two people I hadn't met before: Misa-san and Aya-san for karaoke. Note: it's really good to see that IBM is hiring women into technical positions. Misa and Aya are both technical/semi-technical workers, and there is a general attitude that companies in Japan will only hire men for technical positions (hiring most women as OL - office lady - secretary jobs), so I'm very glad to see this is changing.

But anyways, back to Karaoke. Each floor of the place we went was "themed". There was Cinderella, Moon Princess (a Japanese fable), Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty. Our karaoke booth was on the Snow White floor. Um...OK??? Fuzzy animals and bright vistas? At a karaoke bar?

Not a chance.

I don't know what version of Snow White the Japanese read, or who the hell translated it into Japanese - but whoever did must have been on imported opium, because as far as I know, Snow White has nothing to do with the Seven Deadly Sins or gothic poetry - were the dwarves really that evil???

This was on the wall of our karaoke booth - an advertisement for one of the drinks available at the bar: Pride Tonic. There was also Sloth Fizz, Red Envy, etc, and each one had a corresponding gothic Engrish poem on the walls of the hallway.. But this one was especially blatant:



I had to explain to our hosts why Lisa and I were laughing when we saw it. All we could say is that there are a lot of people in America who would have been disturbed and/or offended by that poem.

We sang karaoke. Lisa did amazing. I sucked monkey butt. That's about all I can say there :).

And with that...yeah, I need sleep.

Chapter 1: Arrival

Today started out early enough, finishing up packing, saying goodbye to the kitteh, and then riding the shuttle up to the Cities. Although we got there within plenty of time for the flight itself, we ended up getting there with a bit TOO MUCH time, so we spent some time walking around the airport looking for anything remotely interesting when we stumbled upon a Guitar Hero ARCADE cabinet.

Wait, really? Am I seeing things? I thought this was just announced?! Well, I'm not a huge Guitar Hero fan by any stretch of the imagination, but this is a chance to try out something new that a lot of other people haven't had a chance to see yet. Thus, it's a chance I couldn't really pass up. So I put two bucks in the machine (one for me, one for Lisa) and we get ready to rock out. Much to our dismay, when we finally got to the song selection menu, we got a big shock.

Most of the songs that people would deem "worth" playing were listed under the "premium" category. Meaning, the machine was asking for $2 more in order to "unlock" the song. What kind of bull%&^* is this crap?! Is this how low you've sunken, Activision? Charging us $1 for a single song, and then locking out half the songlist unless the user pays more money upfront? Yep. Sounds about right. In fact, the whole experience was a big mistake, as I have a strong suspicion that this gaming blunder might have turned Lisa off entirely to the idea of game centers. Damn.

So we finish up and begin walking towards gate G4, where our flight was boarding. Surprisingly, boarding took much less time than expected, although the plane was quite a bit larger than I was expecting too, with a lower and upper deck.

I'd like to say the flight went well, but that was not to be... for a number of reasons:

1.) Although we were obviously in coach, NWA/Delta's idea of international travel in coach is substantially different than United's. Last year, United not only gave me quite a bit more legroom than NWA, but also every passenger (yes, even in coach) got their own video screen with several selections of movies and programs. Not here. Oh no. You get nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. You better have brought something to amuse yourself, otherwise it's going to be a VERY long flight...

2.) The previously mentioned lack of legroom combined with a person sitting in front of me who I shall deem "Recliner Bob". Good old Bob decides, 20 minutes into the flight that he wants to get some shuteye. Attempting to get comfortable to do so, he presses the recline button on his seat and leans back, sending the metal part of the seat straight into my already scrunched knees. Oh, NO, YOU DID NOT. Oh yes, he did. And when he hit my knees, he thought the seat was broken, NOT THAT IT WAS PINCHING SOMEONE'S KNEES, and decides to keep ramming his seat back attempting to get the most possible space. Well, Bob, sorry, but the laws of physics don't exactly allow your seat to go THROUGH my legs. I was so pissed. I gave him the finger several times from behind (which he didn't see of course), and bit my lip. Two hours later when they finally served us food for the first time, he sat back up. And when he did my legs shifted into battle position, ready to defend what was left of any slight HINT of legroom.

3.) They fed us well. Almost too well. The food wasn't great quality, but we were all stuffed, uncomfortable, and cramped in a very small space. I tried to get some sleep, but didn't have much success at all.

Overall, this flight gets a 2...out of 5.

Finally landing in Tokyo, my Japanese really came in handy when attempting to change money and get through customs and onto a Shinjuku-bound bus. The busride was long but interesting, and at this point we're both so completely exhausted that I have no desire whatsoever to finish this entry. I'm going to crash now, I promise my later entries will make up for this disappointment...

Two Days 'til Tokyo: Gaijin Blackout Countered

Today is the second-to-last day before the Tokyo trip today, and I'm really starting to get restless. Today, however, was an adventure in itself. I already mentioned before that I had plans to attend Distant Worlds: Music From Final Fantasy in Minneapolis today, and I also mentioned how I was going to attempt the world-famous Gaijin Blackout on the one and only Nobuo Uematsu in an attempt to get information regarding the theme song for Final Fantasy XIII. As you can probably guess from the victory pose in the picture above... well... Uematsu, 1; Angsty Gaijin, 0. But then again, I'm probably getting ahead of myself...

We actually got to the Cities around 4pm and met some friends for sushi at one of the better All You Can Eat places in Minneapolis. Now, under normal circumstances I would advise the majority of people to stay away from AYCE sushi. Usually the quality isn't there, the fish isn't fresh, and you're DEFINITELY going to be sorry the next day when it comes out the other end. But luckily, Ichiban isn't one of those places. It's good sushi. And since neither of us had anything to eat up until that point, we ate VERY well. I tried a test-run of my Gaijin Blackout on the sushi chef, in order to special request some tamagoyaki (egg sashimi) which worked flawlessly. I managed to provoke a response of "Fluent Japanese Barrage" which I managed to parry successfully with a well-placed (understanding) nod, and was soon enjoying tamagoyaki. Win.

Oh, I almost forgot. Though I explained the Gaijin Blackout on a previous entry, here's a quick reminder (from GaijinSmash.net):

Why didn't the dude understand me, then? It's a side-effect of the Gaijin Smash, the Gaijin Blackout. The Japanese person is so flustered, so mind-blown over you not being Japanese, that they instantly become incapable of normal human functions. A Gaijin can speak perfect Japanese to them, and they would fail to comprehend even one word. I think you could even punch a Gajin Blackout-afflicted Japanese right in the face, and they would be too flabbergasted to fall down.

This will come into play later. Anyways, after we stuffed our faces with sushi goodness, we went to Gameworks to kill some time and allow our friends to pick up their tickets. We all got bored at Gameworks pretty quickly, since the game lineup hasn't changed at all in the last two years since I've been there. There was one new game, 2Spicy, which can be described as a "street" themed versus rail shooter. The mechanics actually work surprisingly well, and it was quite fun.
Despite that, it didn't take long to become bored in Gameworks, and we headed to the concert hall soon after.

When arriving, it turned out they were already letting people in, so we didn't have long to wait. I got in line and purchased an overpriced T-Shirt and program booklet ($50)...typical Square-Enix tax at work.


The concert itself was amazing. Though a lot of the music that was played was pretty much expected, and they had technical difficulties with the projector during Dear Friends...when they finally got it back online, they were showing video from FFVI. Wrong game, geniuses! (Dear Friends is from FFV, by the way). The best part of the concert, by far, was the live performance of Maria and Draco. The old lady singing for Maria got so into the role, she grabbed the hand of the young guy singing for Draco and looked into his eyes. Poor "Draco" didn't know how to take it and limply held her hand awkwardly, trying to finish the song without incident. The look on his face was priceless.

Immediately after the expected One-Winged Angel finale, it became clear that far more people had purchased tickets to the meet and greet than either one of us expected. They began to gather us at stage right of the theatre. It appears that at least ONE-THIRD of the main level of the theatre had tickets to the reception, and because of this it turned into a cattle call really quickly as the line grew - eventually expanding out the door of the theatre. "Yay, just like ACEN", I muttered to myself. I wasn't wrong. Only this time, no line nazis.

None of the security guys seemed to have any clue what to do with us, a massive queue of otaku with premium reception tickets. One of them told the entire second half of the line to go sit down and wait to be called (YEAH, RIGHT, like that was gonna happen) while another seemed to be trying to find a way to get the line moving. Now, my girlfriend and I were standing about halfway up the line, right near one of the emergency exit doors, next to one of the line "nazis". This wonderful security guy decides he's going to start leading people down to the reception - STARTING FROM THAT DOORWAY. So basically, within the span of 5 seconds, we became the first people in line - much to the chagrin of all the people in front of us clamoring to get backstage. HAHA! Finally, revenge for the Tower Records debacle that was the last Nobuo signing.

Surprisingly, the community theatres I've worked with have better dressing rooms and backstage green rooms than the Orpheum. I'm absolutely surprised that famous/semi famous actors actually get ready and put shows on in this theatre. Backstage is pretty much a dump. It's not dirty, it's just very...empty. No amenities whatsoever, and the room where they had Nobuo and Arnie's table set up was a gigantic, empty "basement".

So we get down there, the first ones in line - and the band members are just finishing up getting their autographs. Good old "Draco" is getting his music book signed by Uematsu-san (ignoring Arnie Roth altogether, which seems to be a pretty common pattern...poor Arnie). So "Draco" gets his picture taken, and then a few more bandmates go up and begin chatting up Uematsu-san, and at this point it's pretty clear to me that he can't understand a single word they're saying to him, so he follows up with the typical Japanese "smile and nod". Sitting next to Uematsu is a young Japanese salaryman with dyed hair and a spotless black suit. This guy followed Uematsu out during his concert introductions with a camera in his face, and was the sole member of Uematsu's "entourage". My girlfriend referred to this guy as Uematsu's "Metrosexual Aide". Originally I thought he was supposed to be his translator, but the guy didn't do any translating whatsoever. In fact, his only job as far as I could tell was to record Uematsu walking around and waving at the crowd. I still have no idea what that guy was doing there, but he certainly wasn't translating anything.

So as the bandmates are talking, I look behind me and notice the rest of the line is following us in. We're first. I stand there for a few seconds like a deer-in-headlights, as I got no response from the minimal security "force" as when it was OK to approach the table. Now, being a well-trained ACEN lemming, I know perfectly well that bum-rushing a guest table before you're supposed to is a bad idea, and I figured I'd have to wait for SOMEONE to give the OK or they'd have a hundred otaku swarming poor Nobuo all at once. But...the security force was nowhere to be found, and after a few seconds my girlfriend prods me and says "go ahead".

OK. I guess. It's go time.

I hand Nobuo my ($30) program and ask, "Would you sign this please?" in perfect Japanese. To which he replies something like "Oh, Japanese... wow!" and signs his name. This is the opening I've been waiting for...time for a Level 3 EX Gaijin Blackout!!!

"So," I say, again in perfect Japanese: "Do you have any plans to write the main theme for Final Fantasy XIII"?

WHAM. I got him. For a second. He starts to respond "Et...to", turns to Mr. Metrosexual Aide, who didn't seem capable of giving him any help with formulating a response...then he turns back to me and counters - no - completely REFLECTS my Gaijin Blackout with playful Engrish: "No Commento". Stunned, I had no idea what to say. Originally, I WANTED to say "If you do end up writing it, could you please make sure there's an English version too?" But the Japanese words weren't coming to me. At all. I was blacked out. Flawless victory, Mr. Uematsu. Flawless victory.

After getting my stuff signed by Arnie too (see, I'm a nice guy, I didn't forget him) and getting my picture taken, my girlfriend tries briefly conversing with Uematsu saying that we met him once before at PLAY! in Chicago with Angela Aki. But it's pretty clear he doesn't understand a word of it, and yet again Mr. Metrosexual Aide is unable to assist with translation. I couldn't help either, as I was still reeling from Uematsu's Level 3 Focus Nihonjin Blackout.

But overall, it was a great night, and I'm really looking forward to Tokyo.



Gaijin Blackout counter...one day I will get my revenge.

Impatience and a respite

Still making preparations, and the start of the trip can't come soon enough. I've all but completely checked out as far as work is concerned. I'm going to sign on tomorrow, get a few things done, and that will be it. No more work - for two weeks. In all honesty I probably need to spend more time cleaning and packing than I do working, since most people are going to be gone for Good Friday anyways.

This year we were thankfully spared from going anywhere for Easter - and thus also spared from the girlfriend's extended family drama - which is a long story but to put it in the simplest terms possible, my girlfriend's mom and aunt do not get along. And they attack each other passive-aggressively, which makes family gatherings...interesting. For her grandparents' 50th anniversary a year or so ago, the aunt made it clear what she thought of us by sitting my girlfriend, me, her parents and brother, and nephew all downstairs in the basement for dinner while everyone else ate upstairs around the kitchen table.

"We're out of room, so you're eating downstairs". SHENANIGANS I SAY. I was even slightly offended and usually I'm pretty low-key about these kinds of things. It's not like I'd have much to say to anyone at the table anyways, but the way the seats were divided it was blatantly clear what was going on. So every Easter for the last three years we've gone over to the aunt's house, and each time, while bearable, is incredibly awkward. And as much as I'd like to say it was the aunt's fault completely, a lot of the blame falls on my girlfriend's mom - who simply cannot get over the "favoritism" her mother showed for her sister, allegedly. This is what I hear, anyways. They're all nice people and I hold no hard feelings towards any of them, it's just an interesting mix. You know what they say: you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.

My family has its own drama and its own feuds, but for the most part people just don't talk about it. The biggest issue involves a feud between my own mother and aunt, which I don't really know the full details of, and my aunt ended up skipping out on her own stepmother (my grandmother)'s funeral due to this feud - which is a real shame. I really hope my sister and I are always on good terms, I'd hate to deal with a lot of the crap that goes on in people's families. If someone has a problem, let's talk about it and try to fix it. It's awkward for a few minutes, but I'd rather have someone tell me I was being an ass, than be completely oblivious to it and have people making comments about something I did or said behind my back. You can't fix what you don't know is broken, that's for sure.

So on Saturday we get to go to Minneapolis for yet another Final Fantasy concert. Now keep in mind, I already went to a Nobuo signing in Chicago and two FF concerts there, but with one in Minneapolis, there's just no excuse for me NOT to go. Especially when I was able to get meet-and-greet tickets for the reception afterwards... a perfect opportunity to perform a Level 3 Ultra Gaijin Blackout on Mr. Uematsu and trick him into telling me whether or not he's composing the theme for Final Fantasy XIII. What is a Gaijin Blackout, you ask? It's simple.

Japanese people, by nature, do not expect foreigners to know any Japanese - AT ALL. Anything beyond "karaoke", "arigatou", "sushi", and "konnichi wa" causes a null pointer exception in their brains.

In other words (for you non-programming folks out there), to get hit with well-executed Japanese from a gaijin source actually confuses them! More often than not, this causes a loss for words and they don't really know how to respond to the Japanese-speaking gaijin... "gaijin speaking Japanese...? Does not compute... WTF... uh...uhm...et to...". This lowers their J-defenses, which is a sure-fire way of getting information (i.e. TRUTH) out of a guarded Japanese person. In this case, theoretically, a flawlessly-executed Gaijin Blackout might force Uematsu on the defense and the theoretical NDA he probably/definitely signed about his work on XIII may not be the first thing that pops into his mind as a response, and he may actually tell the truth. It might not work, and I'll have to make sure I can Gaijin Blackout him when he's away from his translator (Japanese that are fluent in English are obviously immune to the Gaijin Blackout) but it's worth a try. If successful, it will be my first ever Gaijin Smash attempt. If I can get something out of him, you can bet it'll show up right here on this blog!

And as I finish this entry, I sit here playing with my new digital camera that will be put to use on the trip to Tokyo. Here's a picture of my kitteh, Hikari.

4 Days Until Tokyo...

I'm just about finished up at work now, and I've taken to completely slacking off. It's not so much that I don't have anything to do as much as it is that starting on a bunch of stuff right before vacation will really get me nowhere, so I'm better off hitting the code hard as soon as I return, as opposed to the two days before I leave.

I've spent the last hour or so scouring the intarwebz for maps of the areas where we will be frequenting, in hopes that it will help with navigation purposes. I stumbled on a color-coded map of Akihabara sorting out all the shops by type and location (all the game centers and game shops are highlighted one color, the gundam figure shops another, etc.)

Since Lisa and I are only really interested in the game shops, it'll be a lot easier to navigate with an idea of where we're going. Akiba is going to be one of the few multiple stop locations on our trip, and I want to get the most out of the time we have there, too. I found the location for Super Potato - arguably THE most insanely awesome retro store in the world. I can't wait to stop in there, although at this point I really have no idea what kind of items I'll buy.

At this point it's almost time to just settle in and prep for the ride. Saturday is the Final Fantasy concert, which will eat up most of the day, and then Sunday is a brief respite before the storm. GoPlanit.com has been a HUGE help, as it seems everyone I know in Tokyo seems to want to hang out with Lisa and I this time around, so having a set schedule makes it a little easier to make sure I don't ruin the "VACATION" by planning too much stuff. One of my favorite things last year about my vacation to Japan was simply walking around or riding the train to see what we could find...without worrying about having to be a particular place at a particular time....so I'd prefer not to bog us down in schedules.

I need to start cleaning the house, the last thing I want is to wait until the last day to get things done and have an "OH SHIT" moment right before we have to leave to catch the shuttle to the airport. As long as we don't forget the yen and our passports, everything else is replaceable.

Won't be long now.

Countdown START... 5 days until Tokyo

Well, it begins.

I've been waiting for a long time, but I'm finally going on vacation. Between the chaos at work coming from new responsibilities coupled with mass layoffs, and the flare-ups of my migraine condition, I've really needed this.

I've spent the last few weeks trying to get the schedule straightened out. It looks like I'll be meeting with people from IBM during the first few days of the trip, my uncle's coworkers over the weekend, and then have the next few days for travel to Kyoto, the Ramen Museum at Shin Yokohama, lots of Akihabara, NINJA Akasaka, and whatever else we decide to do.

I've made all the reservations, I suppose the last few things I need to do are:

Wrap up stuff at work (just finished my automation...YES!)
Call the credit card companies to activate my cards for overseas travel (I hate the phone...)
Obtain gifts for the folks that will be showing us around (Need something for Jean Francois, something for Satoshi, and a few little things I can give out should I need to...)
Begin putting stuff together (clothes, gifts, stuff to bring)
Decide on the final list of stuff to buy...

Well...about that last one:

FF Advent Children Complete with FFXIII Demo
Shirokishi Monogatari PS3 (it's _CHEAP_!)


JPWii / Advanced Classic Controller / probably a game or two, but nothing comes to mind
JPS2 / Arcana Heart 2 SUGOI! / Fate://Unlimited Codes / + more cheapstuffs
JP360 / DeathSmiles / Otomedius

Gundam vs Gundam/Eloquent Fist PSP

Hori HRAP (for Soup)
Kurukuru Kururin GBA (for axl)
Rhythm Tengoku GBA (for axl)

このリストは少し長すぎるかな。。。円がちょっと。。。
...I think I need more yen...XD
Good thing I have the big suitcase...

JRPG Creation for Dummies: Tutorial

FAQ:

Why didn't you pass this out at the panel? Why did we have to come to your stupid blog to get the goods?!

ごめんけど、しかたがない。このチュトリアルはちょっと長いから、大変でした。プリントできません。

In other words, it was too long. But I can get more and better information to you guys this way, and it provides an easy way to contact me if you have additional questions.

What is RPG Maker 2003?

An oldie-but-goodie RPG Creation Engine by game company Enterbrain. Although similar to the ones released for the Playstation and Playstation 2, the battle system and scripting language in RPG Maker 2003 is both simple and powerful. The fact it's a PC program allows for easy importing of resources.

Most of us otaku have dreamt of being able to bring our fanfiction or original stories to life in JRPG form (you KNOW you have, don't deny it). This engine allows you to do just that. It's complicated enough to be powerful, while simple enough to learn in a relatively short amount of time.

I'm a baka when it comes to programming. Is it really even worth my time?

YES! As a matter of fact, anyone with a little patience and creativity can craft a JRPG using this engine. Admittedly, it's a lot easier to find resources than make your own, but the engine provides all that you need.

I'm a baka when it comes to drawing. I can't do art. Is this really even worth my time?

DEFINITELY! There are plenty of resources included in the program as well as capacity to import other stuff you find around the intarwebz. Of course, you can always make your own too, should you be artistically inclined.

Why 2003? Doesn't RPG Maker XP have an official English release? Why use its predecessor for this panel?

I've tinkered with the official English release of RPG Maker XP, and although the engine is more powerful and flexible than RPG Maker 2003's engine, it is also a lot less user-friendly. As opposed to 2003, which uses an event-based scripting language, XP contains an entire programming language. Since this panel is meant for beginners, XP really isn't the best place to start when crafting your masterpiece. If you're familiar with code though, go for it.

Where can I get the program?

Here: http://www.geocities.com/rpgmlinks/rpgm2k3.html
I'm not going to be handing out copies, since the copy I have is a fan translation.

Where can I get charset/faceset/music/tileset resources?
Again, check the site above. Since a lot of resources are creations derived from existing games, I'm not providing direct links.

1.) Project Creation

File -> New Project

Enter a Name and Location for your game.

2.) Map Creation

In order to generate your first map, open your project and right-click the file icon on the bottom-left corner of the interface (labeled with the name of your game). Select New Map. You will then see the following screen:

You can do a lot from here, but the main items you want to consider as basics are:

Name - The name of your map (for easy reference within a project)

Tileset - The tileset that will be used for your map. Note that a tileset is a set of items and textures that are placed on a grid to create a map layout (as will be referenced below).

Dimensions - Each map is a grid. So the default demensions are 20 boxes long by 15 boxes high.

Enemy Encounters - This is where you set the monster groups you'd like to appear as random encounters on this map. In this case, we don't want any. Click OK and you'll have your map.

You can place objects from the left-hand side into your map using the interface above. The pencil icon allows you to place single-squares, the gray rectangle allows selection of map elements, the magnifying glass zooms using mouse buttons, the square and circle arrow icons allow placement of objects in a square or circle pattern respectively, and the paint can "fills" the entire area with the selected tile(s).

Tiles are multiple-select, so you can highlight a bunch at a time for placement...like so:

Placing the map is as easy as placing these tiles on the grid. There are three layers of tiles: the lower tile layer (represented by the green icon), the upper tile layer (represented by the blue icon), and the event tile layer (represented by the orange icon). Each tile layer has a different set of objects (though the event layer tends to overlap with the upper tile layer). If I select the event tile layer icon, look what happens to the interface:

The tileset changed. Each tileset has different objects for each of the three layers, so this provides a lot of flexibility when determining how to create your maps.

For now, switch back to the bottom layer and add some grass and perhaps a few stones and water to your map. It should look something like this:

3.) Character Setup via Database

In order to set many options for your game, that is create and set character sprites, skills, items, levels, etc., you will need the Database. To reach it, go to Tools -> Database. There are far too many options to discuss in detail here, so let's just stick to the basics. For starters, the Hero tab:

This is where you create your characters. The ArraySize button determines the number of hero (playable) characters in your game. There are some default characters created when starting a new project with RPG Maker. You can modify character parameters, etc. from here as well. The RTP (the set of items already present in RPG Maker in order for you to play with) has a bunch of character sprites, battle sprites, and facesets for you to play with, but you can also import your own).

In order to make a playable game, two more items must be taken care of. First, go to the System tab and ensure your first hero is selected in the Starting Party list.

Now exit the database and select the Event layer. Right click and select "Place Party Starting Position".

This will spawn your character at that particular location when starting the game. For now, place it as shown.

There! Now you can test your game! To do this, click the big yellow arrow. Say yes to save your changes, and you're off! Select New Game from the menu, and you should be up and running.

All you can do at this point is walk around your map for now, but that's a start. See, that wasn't so bad, now was it?

Now that we got the basics out of the way, it's time to teach you some cool stuff. Instead of boring you with mounds of instructions, though, I'll PROVIDE the code and just explain it slightly. First, the talking NPC.

4.) The Talking NPC

First enter the event layer and highlight the spot two squares north of your hero's starting position. This will take you into the Event Editor.

Name your event Talking_NPC and click Set under Event Graphic to select an icon for your NPC. For simplicity, I will use the first character in the "hero 1" sprite set. This is included in the RTP.

Now under movement type, I select "Random" to make him walk around. There's no rhyme or reason to the pattern for this option, just like with most old-school RPG townsfolk.

Click New Page at the top of the dialog to ensure your event has two pages (this will be so the speech will change when speaking to the NPC a second time, as discussed below).

Now, copy the following code into the first page ( by highlighting an empty line of code in the Event Commands window)... this should take you to the Event Commands dialog, which contains lots and lots of options. For now, concern yourself with just the Face Graphics button (third button from the top) and the Message button (first button from the top). Click the Face Graphics button, then the Set button, then select the first face graphic from faceset Chara 1, 1 from the RTP. Click OK. Next, click the Message button and enter the text "Hi, I'm a talking NPC!" and click OK. Click the Message button again and enter the text: "In order to make me say something different, I need a switch!", then click OK again. Click OK to exit Event Commands.

After that, your event editor screen should look like this (sorry for the blur):

<>Change Face Graphics: Chara1, 1, Left,

<>Message: Hi, I'm a talking NPC!

<>Message: In order to make me say something

: :different, I need a switch.

Now, highlight the last line as shown above and enter the Event Commands window again. Choose Switch Operations (should be the sixth button from the top) and click it. Note the Message and Face Graphics buttons are how you entered the code shown above, in case that wasn't clear from earlier instructions.

Now, click the ... next to the Single Switch option, which should take you to the Switch array, allowing you to create a new Switch for this character. For simplicity's sake, name it "TALKING_NPC". You shouldn't need to increase the array size, as this will be your first Switch. My screen looks a bit different from yours since I have a few other switches spread across this project already.

Now click OK. Your newly created switch should be highlighted in the Switch Operations dialog. This is what we want.

Click OK again.

Your Event Commands should now look like this (commands listed below, to make up for compression blur >_<):

<>Change Face Graphics: Chara1, 1, Left,

<>Message: Hi, I'm a talking NPC!

<>Message: In order to make me say something

: :different, I need a switch.

<>Switch Operation: [0001:TALKING_NPC] ON

Now, since we created the second page of the event, click it. This will take you to a new Event Commands window. This time, we're going to utilize the Preconditions to make the Event Commands listed on this page occur ONLY if the TALKING_NPC switch is turned on. Do this by clicking the checkbox next to the first "Switch" Precondition, and select TALKING_NPC as your switch.

Set the event graphic to be the same hero as the first page (YES, you have to set graphics for events for each individual page. This comes in HANDY when doing items such as treasure chests, that have different graphics depending on whether they are open or closed!). Set movement type to "Random" again, otherwise your poor NPC will stop running around once you talk to him twice. Then enter some message text like that shown below (you can use Copy and Paste on Event Commands if you don't wish to re-click the buttons on the Event Commands dialog):

<>Change Face Graphics: Chara1, 1, Left,

<>Message: Hi, I'm a talking NPC!

<>Message: Wait a minute, didn't you already

: :talk to me?

Click OK and test your game again. Don't forget to talk to the NPC twice!

With that, you've been introduced to Events, and can make talking NPCs. Next, for the treasure chest...which really isn't that much different from what we've already done with the talking NPC!

5.) The Treasure Chest

I'll screen capture the event commands for the treasure chest, and then explain the new parts.

A treasure chest will need two switches and three pages. The first page will simply do a switch operation to call the second page, which adds the item to the inventory and changes the graphic from a closed treasure chest to an open treasure chest. The switches I created for this event are: TREASUREDEMO_1 and TREASURE_OPEN. The graphics used for the event are in the Object1 tileset of the RTP.

Select a location for your treasure chest and create a new event.

Here is the first page:

<>Switch Operation: [0002:TREASUREDEMO_1] ON

<>Call Event: This Event[2]

And the second page (note that the graphic is actually the same as the first page, but the facing is different... in order for the treasure chest to appear open, select Right facing for the treasure icon rather than Down. Don't forget your precondition for TREASUREDEMO_1. The next switch operation will allow the final page's text to display if the user tries to open the already-open treasure chest. You use the Item Management event command to add items to your inventory. You can choose the sound effect for opening the treasure chest, it isn't displayed in the event code but I used "Item 2".

<>Change Face Graphics: Erase

<>Move Event: Hero, Sound Effect

<>Message: Potion...GET!

<>Change Items: Potion 1 Add

<>Switch Operation: [0003:TREASURE_OPEN] ON

And finally:

<>Change Face Graphics: Erase

<>Message: It's open.

Now test it out. You should have a working treasure chest that adds a potion to your inventory, and tells you the chest is already open if you try to open it a second time.

7.) Miscellaneous Commands

Between the Talking NPC and Treasure Chest examples, you should be well on your way to understanding how events operate in RPG Maker...but there is so much more that events can do. The last section of this little document will point to some other event commands which have lots and lots of potential for interesting applications:

a.) Show Choices: This allows the formation of a Yes/No dialog and allows the user to make a choice. Separate event code is run depending on whether a user selects the Yes option or the No option. A more generic (and programmer-esque) structure is also provided in the "Conditional Branch" event command - which allows you to make If -> Else seletion structures. Loops are also provided in the "Loop" event command.

b.) Play BGM/Fade BGM/Play Memorized BGM: Allows you to change background music options.

c.) Tint/Flash/Shake/Pan Screen: Built-in special effects. You'll see that I used these several times in the Detour demo to provide greater variety in the dialogs. These are especially important when doing cutscenes with lots of interacting events.

d.) Show Battle Animation: Similar to what happens in the Final Fantasy old-school RPGs, this allows you to project a battle animation on a map screen as opposed to a battle screen. You can use this for dramatic situations in "cutscene" dialogs, or as effects with various purposes at other times (like blowing up boulders currently impeding a player's progress).

e.) Enemy Encounter: Generates an enemy encounter during an event. Great for "staged" battles during cutscenes, or battles with bosses visible from the map screen.

f.) Move event: Very flexible, allows the moving or teleportation of events. Useful in cutscenes and in other, slightly more devious and less obvious, ways.